We are in crisis again. Please pray that Louie's mental illness respond to treatments.

Amen

<small>[ February 23, 2003, 12:57 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

oh..I'm sorry to hear this. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Sending prayers and hugs your way.

What's going on? How are YOU doing? How are you dealing with things? e-mail me.

I know this, Louie is so fortunate to have the family that he has. He couldn't have had more supportive parents.

I'm praying for strength and peace for your family.
~Susan

I had only a few hours of restless sleep with nightmares .... so, I guess, I'm doing OK considering.

Later ... have stuff to do.

I emailed you. It was returned!

Did you block me? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<small>[ February 18, 2003, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Of course not!

He's officially a runaway .... manic and off his meds. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Mail was returned again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Looks like I'm gonna have to start calling you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Well .... today was .... interesting.
Bottom line is .... son showed up at his school this afternoon to see his girlfriend. We were called by the police who had advised his school of the missing person's report .... and we took him to the ER. The car ride was like Mr. Toad's wild ride adventure .... kiddie locks in place, he realized he could not jump out at the red light. He started throwing things in the car, kicking, grabbing his Dad .... we pulled up into the ambulance area horn blarring .... and I started yelling "security!!!!" .... with the country nervous on high alert .... this got immediate attention.

So, after psych eval in the ER ... son was placed in an ambulance and driven to the psychiatric hospital, about 5 miles away.

Here's the really odd part.... on the way to the psych hospital, son's ambulance was in an accident in an intersection, struck by a car, and another ambulance had to be called for the ambulance!!!

He's OK, cuz he was strapped in the gurney and he did not get bounced around much. he spent another 4 hours in a different ER being evaluated for injuries related to the MVA. He says "My back hurts like hell" .... but, he is the drama king currently, and the ER doc says he's fine.

I'm so exhausted!

whew...I'm glad to hear everything is ok.

I've been worried about you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I'm sure you need to get some rest. Tomorrow is therapy session?

Ohhhh..or is he presently admitted to hospital for evaluation?

<small>[ February 19, 2003, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

He's being held on a 72 hour hold in the psych hospital .... but, it will probably be longer.

H and I have a therapy session today outside the hospital. The therapist is an adoption issues specialist.

You've got mail. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'll open my private mail from home. I managed to get to work today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I also sent you some *funnies* from my work email that my boss sent to me.

Hope you are rested. I'm gonna get you to smile today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Pepper:

I'm so sorry to hear this! Our nephew behaved similarly when he was around 15 or 16. He and his sisters were in a county home for a while because his parents were DV'd (dad is a paranoid schizophrenic living in his van, mom is a manic depressive, so far as I can tell) and his mom had threatened to kill them and herself over the holidays about 10 years ago.

Nephew was put on meds to calm him, because they thought he was dangerously violent. We didn't feel that way, and maybe because we didn't treat him that way he started to respond. He stayed in a county home for quite a while (a couple of years, I think), and we would bring him home every other weekend or so for visits (his mom and dad almost never visited him), and he lived with us for a year and a half while he finished high school.

He's 23 now, and he and his sisters are living with their mom and her new H. He's doing much better now. He's a calm, considerate young man, too. He's taking computer classes in JC, I think.

I think he just needed to find a focus, which took a while (while he was pretty rebellious most of the time). Once he did, he started to shine.

I hope this helps a tiny bit.
best regards,
-Qfwfq

Pepper,
I'll include your family in my prayers. Hope you get some rest. Hope he does better.

SS

The psychiatrist in the hospital just spoke with me. Louie has been off his medication for more than a month, pretending to take it .... and tossing it away. Hence the ugly mania and psychosis.

They are going to start a new medication today. Anti-psychotic and mood stabilizer.

keep praying.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Louie has been off his medication for more than a month, pretending to take it .... and tossing it away. Hence the ugly mania and psychosis.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you have any idea why he would do this? It seems that he would want the medicine to feel better.

Did you see the progression as the medicine was getting out of his system?

We are still praying.

Can you go and visit him while he is there?

I sent part 1 of my story to you.

Have a good day today, Pepperria. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Susan I won't visit him until tomorrow. By then, the new medication may have calmed him down. He says horrible things right now that I do NOT need to hear.

The problem is, he feels so good on the medication, and although the side effects are minor, he thinks he can go off the med cuz he feels "normal".

We can't have him home unmedicated. And, right now he can't be trusted to stay on his med.

Showdown of the boundaries is about to happen.

Mr. pep says you are probably stopped from sending a piece of email that is too large for our server to handle.

I have a new email addy that I'll send you pretty soon .... he says that can handle the bid load.

Looks like he will have to take his medicine STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT of you for a while.

But, I guess that is not always possible huh...

I just don't know about the email. Some things that were returned I didn't think were very large.

I am wondering about MY new email...I guess I am just not completely used to it. Yours is the only email that keeps being returned though.

I just NOW changed over to DSL/cable internet from the old AOL dial up that I have had from the beginning.

TOOOOO old to change...you know how that goes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 09:22 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

How is your daughter handling all of this?

She is a beauty, by the way!!! You better lock her up NOW!

Did you see the post? Have you decided if you are coming to Mardi Gras yet? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 09:27 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Well .... I always do love a good blow-out party right before Lent! I have to pass on Marti Gras this year. My parents have gone to Marti Gras .... and hated it. \Too many drunks in one place is scary.

The SPQ parade is an entire different matter .... and I am considering it.

H and I took D totherapy last night. It helped. Then we went out to eat to celebrate her honor role certificate she brought home yesterday.

She is as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside. Sweet and caring. We're so blessed.

I am trying really hard not to become an emotional basket case .... but I do let my stress effect my memory as well as my ability to sit still <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I find myself talking really fast and sort of wandering aimlessly around the house because I can't remember what I started out to do ..... and I say "What did I come in this room to do?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I am sleeping pretty well.

Son called me on my cell yesterday. Dis not thank me for the things I brought him (clothes, toiletries, books) but proceeded to tell me how much he hates me and how he wishes we had never met .... and far far worse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Medication please work!

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 10:35 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dis not thank me for the things I brought him (clothes, toiletries, books) but proceeded to tell me how much he hates me and how he wishes we had never met .... and far far worse </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bless your heart...I am so sorry. Maybe the meds will kick in soon. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

He is now on new meds? Didn't the old ones work well if he just took them? Why change?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Too many drunks in one place is scary.

The SPQ parade is an entire different matter .... and I am considering it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You got that right. It scares me. I think it is dangerous.

As for SPQ, just say the word and I'll make the arrangements. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

On second thought....

naaaaaw...maybe you better not come. You might make fun of our southern draaaaawl.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Pepper:

Please take care. I don't like it when people who've been such a wonderful inspiration to me are having a rough time.

'snot fair.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
-ol' Qfwfq

I don't like it either. I apologize for making light of anything on this thread...just trying to cheer you up..

I really do hurt with and for you.

Susan ... he was taking the medication standing right in front of us .... and pretending to swallow and sometimes allowed a mouth inspection afterwards .... it's called "cheeking" and the kids learn how to tuck the pill somewhere in a corner of their mouth and then spit it out later. His therapist told us not to get into his face with a power struggle around the medication, but to allow the natural consequences of his not taking it to unfold.

Jeeze .... damned it ya do, and damned if ya don't.

I have been laughing wildly like a drunk for 2 days. It's my favorite coping mechanism, and my second favorite is crying. Sex comes after crying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good grief!

The natural consequences sure are hard on the family though aren't they...not to mention him.

I suppose he has to learn that he has to have his medicine.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have been laughing wildly like a drunk for 2 days. It's my favorite coping mechanism, and my second favorite is crying. Sex comes after crying </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">((((Pepper))))

At least it is not eating... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My coping mechanism is sleeping....(and reading these MB forums is an escape for me)

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Son called me on my cell yesterday. Dis not thank me for the things I brought him (clothes, toiletries, books) but proceeded to tell me how much he hates me and how he wishes we had never met .... and far far worse </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am sure that this is hard to hear. But, I think it is probably a good sign.

I think it is a sign deep down that he loves you. He feels safe saying it to you because he knows how much you love him. We sometimes take things out on those closest to us. He feels safe taking his pain and anger out on you.

After all, he doesn't have to call you at all does he? And while he was AWOL he called you several times from the pay phone didn't he?

Just goes to show, he was thinking of you. I think he knew how concerned and upset you were.

In his healthy state, I am sure he loves and appreciates you very much.

Part of it has got to be normal "teenager" but in his illness I am sure it gets magnified. I know there were days my son wished he never met me either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Keep the faith. Take care of yourself.

I just made an appointment for a facial after work.

This helps. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Good for you! It sure does.

One of my favorite things...and you should plan for it on your "girls weekend retreat"...

We all get together...Each of us has a different task....we do for and to each other...

One does manicure...
Another does pedicure...(summer is coming, get those feet in shape...I have a thing about feet...I love tan feet with polished nails..except I don't have 'em...mine are white <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I gave it up)
Another does facials....
Another does massage...

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

It is dreary and rainy here today...

Can you tell I hung around the house *posting* all day? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

My husband did come home with me a surprise today... Bag Balm ...

Can you guess what that is? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

At what age was your son's illness manifested?

Were you dealing with that also during the discovery of Mr. Pep's affair?

Well ... it became really serious with wrist cutting around age 12.

We were already into recovery about 3 years. If Mr. Pep were not sober and into AA .... we'd be dead in the water. Mr. Pep uses his AA princilpes all the time dealing with this.

Susan, my email server is on the fritz ... I can't get into it at this time. maybe repairs are being made? I'll check again later.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Mr. Pep uses his AA princilpes all the time dealing with this.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I use them too, in dealing with lots of things in life....even though I have no known alcoholism in our family.

A good one in your case right now:

"I can't. He can. I'll let Him."

A Higher Power can make Louie well. Turn the results over to Him.

Pepper:

I hope stuff is getting better over at your place...

I don't know if this will bring a smile or not, but where I "come from" 'AA' designates a Model A Ford Truck! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (mine is only an 'A' however. I wanted a truck!).

"Milady can have her Sport Coupe.
Let the fancies fondle their Phaetons.
And the snobbish are welcome to their Town Cars.
But, Give a MAN a TRUCK!" -from The Restorer Magazine, around 1970 or so.

Ignore me. I seldom know what I'm talking about!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
-ol' Qfwfq

Come 'ere an' gimme a hug big guy ..... you're such a fun nut!

If memory serves, this is Louie's 7th hospitalization!

Let me tell you about the 1st one.

It was Xmas eve. He was manic. Running around. verbally nonsensical and hostile. He was trying to escape us (hallucinations?) and he got on the floor and slid his body under his bed. Then, he took his legs to lift the bed off the floor and raise it up and down (a'la Exorcist bedroom scene <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

Cops came. Took him to ER. Ambulance took him to psych. Louie in tears. "Mommie. I'm sorrrrrrrreeeeeeee. Help me Mommie. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> " Mommie in tears, " <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> my babeeeeee."

Next day, we went to the unit and signed him out AMA. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> No big favor, I promise you. It was Xmas, and I felt guilty beyond anything. He behaved. It lasted about 2 months, then got worse.

Next hospitalization, he went to a much nicer facility. This is where the "cool" kids went. Louie treated it like a social event. Friends came. (Louie is very charasmitic and kids are drawn to him ) Louie held court. Sympathy from visitors and family alike. It was a big mistake. Why work on issues and problems when he was king of the castle in the hospital? Other kids who got better, got discharged would come back to the hospital to visit our son! Going home to his family would be a "step down" in his eyes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Skipping waaay ahead to this hospitalization. I have asked several of his frends NOT to visit him in the unit until we can see he is working on coming home. He is furious. The rules state he cannot be prohibited from visitors. We are begging certain people NOT to visit .... and the girlfriend in particular. Luckily, GF's mom is on the same page with us. She says she won't drive GF to visit unless we say it's a good idea.

THANK GOD FOR STRONG PARENTS

Today, I am going to family group therapy at the hospital. Louie is going to call me names, tell me he wishes he never was adopted by such stupid people, I am not his "real mother" ... etc. I am going to say to him, When you want to be decent toward your family, GF's parents will bring her to visit.

Any thoughts?

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 09:24 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Tough one!

I guess while he is sitting there calling you names, I would just remain calm and quietly say
"I can see you are very upset...and I am so sorry....because we love you so very much... " (non-defensive statments...just declare your love and support)

I don't know how you do it. I admire your strength.

Don't let it get you down. Keep your chin up. YOUR Louie will hopefully be back soon. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Susan .... I am officially employing all 3 of my coping mechanisms! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I cannot let this kid and his disease make me sick!

You're right of course. I will not engage in a power struggle. Just state our boundaries, and our love, and leave it at that.

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 09:36 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

BTW .... His new medication is Ziprasidone ... AKA Geodon.

Pepper:

Sounds like something of an MB method to me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I really wish I knew more about such situations. The closest thing I have to "experience" with that kind of thing is with my paranoid schizophrenic BIL and his son (the nephew that lived with us for a time). My BIL once threw a kitchen knife at my W when she was pregnant with our daughter. Later, when I was out of town for a couple of weeks, he stayed at our house. I was scared to death! But he was taking his medication and was as lucid as I ever saw him - either before or since. He eventually stopped taking the meds, though.

I heard that schizophrenics often improve as they age. He certainly has, such that we don't argue when we see each other anymore (part of that is that I'm trying to be more understanding, too). He still prefers to live in his van, though. He's something of a miser, too. Has tens of K in the bank, yet won't spend much at all on his kids. His loss, though. They're becoming young adults, and don't have a strong desire to spend time with him. Not even on holidays anymore.

Have a good day, Pepper!
-ol' Qfwfq

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am officially employing all 3 of my coping mechanisms! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please try not employ them all at once...like crying or laughing during the sex...Mr. Pep may wonder if he is doing soooo good...or not soooo good... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ROFLOLPIMP <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">His new medication is Ziprasidone ... AKA Geodon.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm gonna look that up...

Why didn't they go back to the original medication? It worked fine when he took it didn't it? Why did they change?

PEPPER, IM me again sometime when you can...that was fun. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Suz

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ROFLOLPIMP </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">PIMP Is this part what I am thinking it is???????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Mia thinks you're "cool" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Meds:

Well, most of them have worked, for awhile. He dislikes the side effects, and when he feel "normal" he believes he doesn't need the meds any longer.

The med that worked best was Lithium. But, after about 6 months, he became toxic on the lithium. His legs kept collapsing under him. He was unable to move normally <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> That day was awful. Now, I may have to cry-cope. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I'd prefer to laugh, but .... whatever. Mr. P is off on his run ... so sex is out of the question .... hey, what am I talkin'? BOB is somewhere in my closet????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Now I sound crazy. I think it's contageous!

PIMP ..... yes, it's what your thinking.

Time for adult diapers anyone?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mr. P is off on his run ... so sex is out of the question .... hey, what am I talkin'? BOB is somewhere in my closet????? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You could go employ a new mechanism... RUN and try to catch Mr. P. By the time you did, you would probably be outta da mood...

Mia is a dear!

My hubby is outside happily (because of last nights tub washing...amazing how it helps the mood) painting and building shelves for his closet.

It is 10 a.m. here....and here I sit still in my jammies.

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 09:56 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

I think I'm going to read a little bit out of "Love Must Be Tough".

That usually steels my spine. I've been too soft when I get emotionally entangled with his disease. I lose my resolve, and I enable,

They're gonna lock this thread!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I think I'm going to read a little bit out of "Love Must Be Tough".
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good idea...

Is Mr. Pep going along with you to the hospital? It is always better to have that extra support.

Do you exercise, Pepper?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He dislikes the side effects </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What are the worst side effects? what does he dislike the most?

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 01:22 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am going to say to him, When you want to be decent toward your family, GF's parents will bring her to visit.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds a little like you are trying to bargain with him.

If it works, I guess it is ok...

Pepper:

"Time for adult diapers anyone?"

When Bob Dole was asked "Which do you prefer. Boxers or briefs?" He replied: "Depends."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
-Qfwfq

I exercise ... I dislike running (I have a herniated disc) but I really like fast walking and stretching. When Louie is home, unstable and totally untrustworthy, I was seldom able to leave him alone in the house, and my exercise level decreased. Mr. Pep leaves the house at 4:40 AM to run!!! NOW that's crazy! No way. He sometimes waits until 5:30 when I wake up on the weekends, and we walk together .... depending on what's going on here.

With Louie in the hospital, it's like a vacation here. Sad to say, but true.

I used to be a ballet dancer until my 40's. I blew out 2 discs and I have residual numbness in one foot. But, I don't want to discuss that. I can't dance because I can't feel the floor, and I can't stand not being able to do the things I used to do as a dancer. End of subject for now.

YOU are really helping me Suz.

Pepper:

Wow! Hey, did you ever do "The Nutcracker" in a chrome leotard?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

-ol' Qfwfq

"Sounds like you are trying to bargain with him."

Thanks for that observation. I'll consider that. it feels like limit setting, but I certainly do NOT want to bargain.

He has very limited choices at this point.

You cannot discuss things rationally when someone is manic. I think I'll just shut-up and simply "be there".

Mr. Pep is staying with Mia. She gets the fuzzy end of the lollipop whenever her bro is acting up. She needs daddy time big-time.

~Q~ I danced in the "Nut" .... starting around age 10. i was Clara 3 years running. Those days are gone, and I feel sad talking about it. I guess, I just feel sad period!

Maybe I'll wear the chrome complexion to the hospital????

Pepper:

"~Q~ I danced in the "Nut" .... starting around age 10. i was Clara 3 years running. Those days are gone, and I feel sad talking about it. I guess, I just feel sad period!"

I'm sorry if I contributed to that feeling. Wow, ballet when you were 10! I admire you. I don't think I ever even WAS 10!

You are a beautiful person, inside and out, Pepper! Try not to be sad about THAT, at least!

-ol' "never 10" Qfwfq

(((~Q~))))

I think you are ..... uniQue! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YOU are really helping me Suz. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm glad.....but, how am I helping? by distraction?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for that observation. I'll consider that. it feels like limit setting, but I certainly do NOT want to bargain. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe you are right. I'm sure you know what is best and you will do great.

What time do you go? I'll be thinking of you.

In about 4 hours.

I'm going to sign off now and try to regain composure.

LUV you guys!

XOXOXO

We love YOU.... and it hurts to see you sad.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mr. Pep leaves the house at 4:40 AM to run!!! NOW that's crazy! No way. He sometimes waits until 5:30 when I wake up on the weekends, and we walk together .... depending on what's going on here.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm impressed with his discipline...but that is entirely tooooo early for me. I'm not much of an early morning person.

My hubby has always walked. He stays in good shape.

You may have seen this before with your patients, but when I tried to walk with him, I would itch like crazy. In just a while (usually after 17 minutes on the nose) I would be scratching so much that I would be red, covered with whelps, and bruised. I couldn't walk because I was bent over double scratching! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

When we made the committment to spending more time together, I wanted to try and walk with him again. Otherwise, once he got home from work, we ate and he walked, the evening was gone.

The doctor finally gave me Allegra. He said it was a histamine reaction. Now, I take it on the days I walk and it works great!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hey...and when you get back, we'll be here for you. Right Q?

Don't forget that!

143 = <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (means "I love you" at our house)

I'm sad that I don't really know you so I could be more supportive....in a real physical sense, not just behind a computer screen. I would be glad to call you though, if I could help. I'd be more than happy to just listen.

I have GOT to go hit the shower and get MY chrome complexion painted on!!!

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Yep!!!

I've got to visit my dad today, then call AND email my W this afternoon/evening, plus maybe go to a movie with my sister and my kids... ...but that's only TIME, right? I can WARP time! (or, if I can't, maybe my warped sense of humor can help a little bit, huh?).

2dles,
-Qfwfq

You've got mail...It will make you smile.

You would too, Q, but I don't know your email address.

Susan:

"ou would too, Q, but I don't know your email address."

? It's right there in my sig line. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Stupid me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Ok, you've got mail...don't hurt yourself laughing.

~S.

Susan:

Got the message, but couldn't view the attachments. Thought it was something wrong on this end, but then realized - h'DOING - that I'm on a SLOW phone connection at my sisters, not that sweet DSL stuff I have at home!

-Qfwfq

Flintstones~~

meet the Flintstones~~~~

Have a yabba-dabba-do-day

Pepper, I feel like a nit wit.I had read on the Gen Q and on the Recovery sites briefly in the last few days and had a nagging feeling in my heart that you were having some problems.I had not read anything on the Prayer Requests site but after deciding to post to you directly on the Gen Q ,I had a last minute thought to copy and paste my message to the Prayer Request site.

I copied,pasted and hurriedly placed it there without reading any posts there.My son came in the door just as I was sent back to my post,so I logged off and shut down the computer.

I have just returned to the Prayer Requests site and was going to see about posting to others and saw your thread about your son.

I am so sorry I did not see this before now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />
Please forgive me for not keeping up and especially for not understanding all that is going on.I had a feeling something was not right.God works in mysterious ways.I have been saying prayers for you and your son and will continue to do so.

Mental illness is difficult to work and deal with.This is really close to your heart being your child.It definately becomes taxing,trying and tiring. The prayer that I sent is sincere though sent with over sight of your posts.God is a great physician and all knowing.

Please forgive my over sight.I would have already responded to you if I had seen the post.There are a lot of folks here who care about you and appreciate you.I hope all will be stable and better soon. kk

Hey Pep, I am not sure if they make chocolate covered "crackers" at See's Candies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
So hang in there and keep yer sanity. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> kk

<small>[ February 26, 2003, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: kings kid ]</small>