Thank you for all your replies Hurtmorethanheknows!

Yes, I believe also God has spoken to me in many ways and is still speaking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It is amazing how we must first learn to ACCEPT God's unconditional love before we can give it to others. I believe that is what's happened to me. I've accepted God's love for me and am learning now to keep loving my H in spite of all the pain he has caused. It wasn't easy at first but I've learned and are still learning.

Yes, PRAISE THE LORD! God is already working.

Thank you so much for your beautiful prayers. Everytime I read them, I cry. But these are tears of joy. Knowing that God loves me so much and that there is someone out there that I've never met but prays for ME! Thank You!

May God Bless You! I hope to someday be on these boards helping others and not posting for myself.

H98

Seeing your happiness expressed in words really lifted me today. I want to thank you. Its been one of those weeks when I feel low. Yes God is working all over and I ma glad I could give any prayer or kind words of comfort. If you must know on these boards is the first tim eI have stepped up and put together a prayer much less made any sense. LOL...I real was touched by so much pain here and felt led to do so. You are in my thoughts and prayers and the best of luck!

Please pray for me. I went camping this past weekend and had an EXCELLENT time but I've felt so down all day today. I keep thinking of my H and how much I miss him and then feel that I've really lost him forever. I know the devil wants me to feel this way, that way he can get some control of me but I don't want to give him any part.

My H left me a message yesterday saying that he needed to get the spare keys for his SUV from me 'cause he had lost his. He asked if I could drop them off at his mom's. I called him back this morning but he didn't answer and I left him a message. I just told him that I did have the keys but that I could not swing by his moms. I asked him if he could pick them up at my work. I never heard from him until this evening. He called me and said he needed those keys by this evening. (street sweeper goes by tomorrow and doesn't want a ticket) He said he'd come to the house to get them and I said fine. He said he's call me when he got here (I'm guessing so I would go out there to give them to him) When he called to tell me he was here I told him to come to the door. He hesitated a bit but said ok. He gave me a check for some money he owed me and then I gave him his keys. I didn't want to give them to him 'cause I felt that by giving him his keys, I was giving him up for good. It hurt but someone reminded me that I was still in Plan A and that I need to be a GOOD wife. He then started to tell me that he was going to need me to sign over his SUV so he could trade it in. I asked if he was going to get a car and he said he already had. He got one 'cause it was alot cheaper with gas and the payments were gonna be a lot less. (he's been very short on money since he left) Then he started to tell me about getting his own insurance on it instead of just changing the car on the current one we have. It hurt to hear him say that 'cause I just hope for that day that he wants to work it out with us. It's going to be much more expensive for both of us to separate them but that's what he wants and I can't do anything about it. Then he started talking about separating the cell phones. They're under the same contract in his name but we got a 2 year one about 6 months ago. He said he might just take my line and cancel it. Therefore I will need to get my OWN phone. Even more pain in my heart. I hurt so much and see things as impossible for us. WHY? Why doesn't he want to come back? Why doesn't he love me still? I see couples everywhere I go and I just wonder why I can't be with my H like them. I love him so much and miss him like crazy. I don't want to give up but sometimes it just feels so hard. I know that all I need to do now is just concentrate in my relationship with God. That's all that should matter to me now but it's HARD not to think of him.

Well, I just needed to let this all out. I'm confused and feel lost but I know that God has a plan for me and whatever that is I will gladly accept it. I know he doesn't want to see us divorced and I sure don't either but the right time will come. My husband WILL come back and I have faith in that. I just get desperate 'cause I don't know WHEN and wish it was Today. Well, just keep me in your prayers that I don't give up and stay very STRONG! Thank you all in advance.

H98

"Lord, the emotion of confusion and dispair is a source evil uses againest us. We are only human and have many flaws, please cloak this woman and give her a sense of peace and calm that will let her go on with her daily life and let her actions reflect whst you would do.Guide her in her day to day life to make the decisions that will lead her to the path you have planned for her. Ease her mind and soul Father, do whatever it takes to break the binds on her husband, whatever it takes lord, break it! We thank you father for the things you do in our daily life to ease our pain and help make the decisions that reflect our faith in you lord. Let your love snd light shine shine thru her Lord so that others will be drawn to her she may help not only herself but others in this walk she is on. Amen" I wish you love peace and happiness...

Thanks once again for all your beautiful prayers Hurtmorethanheknows!

I'm feeling much better now. It's weird (and good) how sometimes I feel so calm and relaxed as if everything was back to normal. I know it has to do with my faith in the Lord that he is working in this marriage and will change my husband's heart.

The other day I prayed to him and asked him to show me once again that he is still working and give me more encouragement in not giving up. I went to church with my parents that night and the last hymn we sang was titled something like...Never Give Up (spanish = Nunca Os Rindais). I couldn't even sing the words and just stared at the hymnal book and read the words. My MIL was also there and thought it was interesting that the pastor chose THAT hymn to sing that night and even talked a bit about us NOT giving up. She said that he looked up at me when he said it but I didn't notice. God answered my prayer ONCE AGAIN!

It's awesome! I feel so confident now knowing that I am doing what's right in not giving up on this marriage. I bought the book on tape from Restore Ministries "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" and it's helped me SOOOOO much. I'm already listening to it for the 3rd time. Thanks to the person who recommended it. I think listening to this every day helps me stay concentrated in God and not give the devil a change to start putting stuff in my head. It still hurts to think that my H doesn't want to be with me but he will be back one day! I just KNOW IT!

I haven't heard from H since last week when he came over. Well, just wanted to share what's on my mind lately. Thanks for reading.

Its good to hear a relief in your voice. I havent stopped praying for or the many others here..Everyday I open this board and say a prayer or type one as a response to someones pain and the whole time letting god know its for everyone including myself...Keep me posted..Do things for you...

Well, this nightmare continues.

I just found out that H is still with OW. They were seen yesterday. She dropped him off at his mom's. She was driving his NEW car. Perhaps they got it together? How can he do this? I even drove out 40 minutes from her to sign the release on his trade-in car so that he could get a new one. But NOT With HER!!!!! This is so frustrating and depressing. I really hoped when they split 4 weeks ago, it would be the end of that. Guess not. I feel so lost and just want to quit. I want to give up on life! Will I ever be happy again? Aaaargghh!!!

Sounds as if you are having a hard time. I would like you to do me a favor...Get out your bible and read some of psalms....Talk about a peacefulness. Is your husband being held accountable for his actions, are you giving him everything and receiving nothing>/?
"Lord, whatever it takes, I mean whatever it takes break this hold, this relationship, let this woman go Lord. Lord we ask you to lift up hope and protect her to unveil all that has occurred and is happening this very moment, we thank you father, she is hurtting father we know you do wish for this to happen to your children, show her father show her the path and the actions she is to take to make her life one that follows your wishes father ...We tahnk you father as you comfort this woman and send angels in her path to give her the strength she needs for this journey.Amen"

Thank you once again for you beautiful prayers Hurtmorethanheknows!

Yes, I'm having a hard time. I will definitely get my bible out and start reading psalms. Thank you for the advice. I've read it before and it really does give me peace. That's exactly what I need now. I feel desperate and very hurt again but I do know that God is taking care of me. He has a reason for all this (even though I may not understand it just yet) but I am learning to Trust Him.

Your prayer has brought feelings of assurance once again and it reminded me that nothing is impossible for God. As long as we ask and leave it in his hands. Thank You!

H98

I am glad you are going to do some reading. I also think you should do some things for yourself. We all know God doesnt like divorce but IM telling you God doesnt expect you to hurt day in and day out. Get on the path you feel is directed to you from God and focus on something other than all this other mess. I know it is hard, but for yourself and your sanity do something nice for yourself. I know you do for others how about taking a turn for yourself?
Hope I have you in my prayers and I hope in my prayers for you , you find a peace and a place to rest and gather your thoughts to finish out your journey.

Hi Hopeful98,

What a disappointment again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I don't know, but I was just thinking
maybe you should be real careful with
making any financial deals with him
right now. Obviously he is still w/
OW, and he's letting her drive the car
you just helped him to get. Is insur-
ance in both your names??

Seems like it's been a very slow process
being you both separated in Feb., close
to 6 months ago.
Do you think anything is really going to
get better if you try to hold on? Or are
you just hoping it will?
My heart goes out to you, and prayer to
God also.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Hi Ladysheep,

I probably didn't explain myself correctly. I'm not making any financial deals with him. What I actually did was sign the release on the car we were leasing so he could use it as a trade-in to get a car on his own. I did not help him sign for the new one.

Yes, it has been a slow process. He's so fogged up. Compared to many other stories I've read, I don't think 6 months is that much. I only started working on Plan A about a month and a half ago. I tried Tough Love the first months and really messed up. He just went further away.

I really do think things can get better but I can't do it by holding on. (which is probably what I've been doing). I need to learn to let go and trust God. It's very tough to know that the one person you love and would give your life for just doesn't seem to care. I believe I must try to do whatever I can to save this marriage but I do realize that without his help, there won't be one. I am young and would probably have no problem finding another husband but I vowed 5 years ago to be with this one 'til death do us part and will do whatever is necessary to keep that promise. I've cried out to God MANY times and have asked him to show me if I need to give up and move on. But he has always shown me the opposite. I hear him telling me, "Hold on my Child, I'm still working with both of you". I trust him, even though at times it's very hard to do so, seeing everything that is happening.

I know the devil is trying very hard to knock me down as well but I WILL NOT let him win this battle.

Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers.

H98

HOPE, YOU ARE SOUNDING VERY POSITIVE BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT BEFORE ANYTHING GOOD CAN HAPPEN SOMETHING BAD MUST FALL AND TH EOTHER MUST CHOSE TO DECIDE TO WORK THING OUT. WE CANT DO IT FOR THEM. GOD GIVES US THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE CHOICES AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE DONT MAKE THE RIGHT ONES BUT GOD DOESNT DESERT US. BUT IF WE CONTINUE TO MAKE BAD CHOICES HE DOES SAY TO BREAK TIES...ALL TIES TO THE ONE IN SIN....YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE BUT NOT LIKE THEIR ACTIONS, AND ITS OK TOLET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM BUT YOU JUST DONT LIKE THEM RIGHT NOW...YOU CAN NOT LET YOURSELF BE PULLED IN , HE HAS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS...HIM ALONE....I HAVE PRAYED SO HARD FOR AND I WONT STOP, THE CONFUSION AND PAIN IS ALL OF THE EVILS WE FACE IN LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS SAID IF YOU HAD TO HIDE SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY KNEW IT WAS WRONG TO BEGIN WITH AND IF YOUR INNER VOICE TOLD YOU THERE WAS A PROBLEM WHY DID YOU IGNORE IT...DONT YOU KNOW THIS VOICE CALLED YOUR CONSCIENCE IS GODS WAY OF LETTING YOU MAKE YOUR CHOICES BU GIVING YOU THE OPPOTUNITY TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES ON YOUR OWN....

Yes, I realize that before anything good can happen, something bad must fall. I also understand that my H must choose to decide to work things out 'cause I can't do it for him. That's why I pray for him everyday. (It's pretty much all I can do for him right now)

I also realize that even though God hates divorce, that doesn't mean every marriage is going to be restored. We have the choice to follow him or not. My H may NEVER decide to come back but that's his choice. God can't force us to do anything.

By breaking ties, do you mean absolutely no contact with him? at all? Yes, he has to be held accountable for his actions. It just hurts to see that many bad things have happened to him yet he doesn't understand. He doesn't realize it's because of his own actions. He had 2 car windows broken, he's been completely broke, he can't get a better job (has gone to over 10 interview and NOTHING) and the devil even haunted him one night. Will he ever see? It's frustrating and I feel sorry for him. I love him but can't do anything to help him out.

I definitely believe God has allowed all of this to happen for a purpose. We were truly headed the wrong direction in life, moving further and further away from God. This has brought me back to him but the battle has been tough with my H. He KNOWS he can't live without God (he's told several people recently) yet he continues his sinful life. We are we so hard-headed some times?

Well, thank you for praying so hard for me Hurtmorethanheknows. I want you to know that I also pray for you everyday. (and everybody else that posts here) Prayer has done wonders and has given me so much comfort that I will NEVER stop praying. Thanks.

H98

THE PART ABUOT BREAKING ALL TIES IS IN THE BIBLE...HE NEEDS TOSEE OW HE IS HURTTING HIMSELF AND OTHERS....

hopeful98, I will be praying for you. If you aren't already doing so, start praying scripture over your husband without ceasing. Pray a hedge of thorns around your husband, pray the OW becomes bitter like wormwood, read Proverbs 5-7 and pray the Lord reveals His truth to your husband.

Prayer works hopeful, don't give up. If God called you to stand for your marriage and by your posts it seems that way, you must be obedient to the Lord. You can't change your husband, but GOD CAN. Our God is a God of miracles, He loves you and your husband so very much and He wants your marriage restored. God can (and will) use whatever Satan intended for evil for His good and His glory.

Father, You have declared that what therefore God has joined together, let no man separate therefore I stand on that Promise for hopefu98. Lord we know it is the Father's will for marriages to be for a lifetime, for it is written in Malachi that the Lord God hates divorce. Lord, cause hopeful98's husband to see the error of his ways and to turn from his sinful ways with a godly sorrow, truly repentant at the foot of the Cross. Lord, You desire one man to be with one woman for life, hopeful98 is the wife of this man's youth. I believe this is Your heart's desire, and because of that, I plead with you to save and strengthen hopeful98 and her husband's marriage. Because this is Your heart's desire, I ask in the name of Jesus that You will do whatever it takes to protect and defend this marriage. O God, do not let sin, Satan, circumstances, or problems separate what You have joined together (Mark 10:2-9). In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN

Thank you for your beautiful prayer AW!

I'm going ok. I was at my MIL's today and that is where my H is living. He just sleeps in the living room and leaves some of his stuff out there. I happen to see a bar of soap from Red Roof Inn sitting out there with this stuff. It just hurt so much to see evidence of them being together. Of course, my MIL is not going to tell me he's spent the night away from home. Perhaps it wasn't even the night, just the day. Aarrrgghhh! I know that this is exactly the kinds of things the devil wants me to see to get me to give up on this M. It's very hard and painful but I MUST be strong. It just hurts SO MUCH! Sometimes I feel that I won't make it and like giving up. Everything just seems so impossible for him to ever even WANT to come back. I know that everything is possible for God but I don't see that sometimes.

Thank you AW for posting to me on your thread and telling me that you have been praying for me and to expect my miracle. Those words brought tears to my eyes. I need to have a much stronger faith and truly live expecting my miracle. Knowing that he is truly going to Restore My Marrige. Thank you for the encouragent and the lift. God Bless You!

H98

Hopeful,
You are going to make it, you will be ok because the Lord is going to take care of you. I am praying the Lord fills you with His peace that passes all understanding and gives you a glimpse of what He is doing. Your H may be doing wrong, sinful things that hurt you very much, but God is there with you and feels the pain you do. Though it may not seem like it, I am sure God is dealing with your husband and things with the OW are probably not as rosy as they seem. It always makes me wonder what the WS must be thinking because the OP's integrity is obviously lacking or they wouldn't be involved with a married person anyway so why do the WS want to be with them? Ok sorry I'm rambling.

Anyway, please keep holding onto the hem of His garment. Pray, pray, pray. I'm praying too,
Father, I praise You for all the great things about to be manifest in Hopeful98's marriage. Lord, I thank You for being her comforter, for filling her with a deep peace and everlasting love. Lord, again I ask that Hopeful98's husband be filled with conviction over his sins, draw him unto You, Lord. Lord, You turned the king's heart, I pray and ask in Jesus' name that Hopeful98's husband's heart is in the hand of the Lord, like a watercourse You will turn it wheresover You please. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN

H98 - pray this scripture in the first person:

Ephesians 5:25 "Husband, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it"

I pray it like this:

Thank you Lord that my husband loves me, his wife, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it,

and then also Lord, I belive that my husband loves me, his wife, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Your miracle is around the corner. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope
Let me tell you the devil is on the rise!!!! But in my heart I know God does not and will not reward EVIL acts....Pray hard and pray fast....Incluse me in oyurs, for I am struggling with the issue of the ow being nuts and dragging me and all the family into a whirlwind.

Hurtmorethanheknows,

Yes, he is working overtime right now. But we MUST NOT let him win.

Please know that you are always in my prayers!

((((((Hurtmorethanheknows)))))))

H98

<small>[ July 30, 2003, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: hopeful98 ]</small>