God is not here today. I'm not sure h/she was here yesterday either - or last week for that matter.

Prayers these days only give me something to think about and new words to form that take my mind off other things. Hard to cry when you are trying to form a thought or two...

But, on the other side of things - Why should I believe God will answer my prayers when it is not happening (and I'm not sure ever did)?

And why can't God bring us back together when it is so obvious we got here through the best of intentions (that went awry) and through lots of love that still exists? I thought God SUPPPORTED marriage and families - so WHERE IS H/SHE NOW??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I have NEVER understood the explanation that God knows what is best for us - especially when it seems to contradict other things God says, like about the permanence of marriage. Why would God let people split up when h/she could instead help them fix their marriages?

Still praying and want to believe, but becoming more and more skeptical and disappointed in God...

Hi,

Hey there. Believe it or not, I think you are actually beginning to understand God more than you know.

But believe me when I say that God is here. He's with you all the time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Prayers these days only give me something to think about and new words to form that take my mind off other things. Hard to cry when you are trying to form a thought or two...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What is it you think about?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But, on the other side of things - Why should I believe God will answer my prayers when it is not happening (and I'm not sure ever did)?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do you know it's not happening? Just because you don't see it? I've been waiting for my W to leave her job so she didn't have to work w/ OM anymore. That hasn't happened yet. But I still think God is working. One thing I have been praying about is that if my W won't leave the job, is that OM will say and do things that will completely repulse my W.

One day on the way home from work I felt like you do right now. I literaaly cryed out to God and told him I didn't see him working. He actually took the time to tell me that if he yanked my W out of the job really fast; she and OM would still have feelings for each other and would try to continue contact. Within three hours of that my W told me that OM was talking with the guys in her office and said that he likes playing racquetball with the women because they wear extra large shirts and he can look down their shirts and see what's there.

Here I thought God wasn't doing anything and I was shown differently.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And why can't God bring us back together when it is so obvious we got here through the best of intentions (that went awry) and through lots of love that still exists? I thought God SUPPPORTED marriage and families - so WHERE IS H/SHE NOW???</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I thought the same thing my self early on. BUt I'm convinced that God not only had to take me through a time of testing and learning, but He was to take my W through a similar process. I'm sure you already know this, but God has given us a free will. He will never force us to do anything. But the good thing is; He already knows what decisions both of you will make. He's just refining both of you to see what you are made of and what you will do. Will you continue to trust Him and get closer to Him or will you listen to the enemy and stop short of both your's and God's ultimate goal. Either the restoration of your M; or complete healing for you (with the pain and hurt removed) and the ability to move on to a M completely designed by Him and joyfully entered into by you and a godly man.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have NEVER understood the explanation that God knows what is best for us - especially when it seems to contradict other things God says, like about the permanence of marriage. Why would God let people split up when h/she could instead help them fix their marriages?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He does know what's best for us. He does want M to be permanent. Just like he wanted His relationship with Israel (and us) to be permanent. But, the darn thing is that we always seem to think we know what is better for us more than God and we make decisions outside of His plan for us. We are the ones that screw up because we don't have the relationship with God that we should. We spend our time avoiding God and turning our backs on that relationship. We choose to fill our lives with things that will never satisfy the unquenchable thirst for God's presence on our lives. All those things we place ther just get consumed and we look for still other things. Many times as you will see on this discussion boeard that people had made the choice to let their M be destroyed. It pains God so much to see it happen, but he will not force us to do anything. He will though, apply pressure in peoples lives and continue to offer the choice of His plan or ours.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Still praying and want to believe, but becoming more and more skeptical and disappointed in God...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good. Keep praying. But don't be disappointed in God... be disappointed in your H's choices.

May God comfort you and wrap you in His arms as you continue to seek Him. {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

Love in Christ.

S&C

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by steadfast and committed:
[QB]Hi,

[QUOTE]What is it you think about? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My failing relationship!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do you know it's not happening? Just because you don't see it?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because I have no clue of ANY kind. Seems like I'm talking down into a bottomless pit.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But the good thing is; He already knows what decisions both of you will make. He's just refining both of you to see what you are made of and what you will do. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So do I, unfortunatley. No wavering on H's part AT all.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Will you continue to trust Him and get closer to Him or will you listen to the enemy and stop short of both your's and God's ultimate goal. Either the restoration of your M; or complete healing for you (with the pain and hurt removed) and the ability to move on to a M completely designed by Him and joyfully entered into by you and a godly man.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is my second marriage that failed - there will be NO more. I just can't bear the thought of starting this process over again with someone new.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He will though, apply pressure in peoples lives and continue to offer the choice of His plan or ours.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can the pressure be that placed on me by H? Is God using him to get the message to me? And HOW IN THE HECK do you know these things? One can reach any number of conclusions about what God wants or means - and as far as I can tell, no way to tell what is right and what is wishful thinking.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But don't be disappointed in God... be disappointed in your H's choices.

May God comfort you and wrap you in His arms as you continue to seek Him. {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks! The ending to your post brought spontaneous tears to me eyes. Thanks for the HUG! I needed that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can the pressure be that placed on me by H? Is God using him to get the message to me? And HOW IN THE HECK do you know these things? One can reach any number of conclusions about what God wants or means - and as far as I can tell, no way to tell what is right and what is wishful thinking.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Messy!
AH!!! Found you again!!

Girl, I think you and I will "talk" a lot!!! Our stories are verrrrrry similar.

I believe - YES!! The "pressure" God puts on us can come from other people.....so using WAH (that's short for "walk-away husband} is a way God will use him to fix YOU! He DID get your attention, did he? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I found myself literally ON MY FACE begging God to fix the mess I'd made of my M. As I stated to you on your other thread, a big part of my mess was MY doing, but part of it wasn't.....it was H's! But I knew we'd made a mess, we weren't able to fix it without divine help........and H didn't stick around long enough for that to happen (although he KNEW that's what we needed). He had made a somewhat "off the cuff" remark just 10 days before he left. Said, "We really need to start going back to church....." I agreed, then we went on the way we were!! I was waiting for HIM to wake up Sunday morning, tell me we were going church hunting, and TAKE US TO CHURCH. I honestly don't know WHAT he was thinking.......but that certainly would have been a step in the right direction to fix it.

God didn't fix it (NOT YET, anyway!!!), but He did reveal what was wrong with it to me. I DID go back to church (told H that after he moved out - he was already withdrawn, he didn't care), and God led me to a *wonderful* church where God Speaks TO ME every Sunday. I honestly do not believe we would have gone to that church together..........so maybe God's Plan was for ME to find that church first....alone.

Next point I want to make to you regards the above quote: HOW do you get to know God's will for a particular situation? ASK HIM!!!

We had slipped far away from God during most of our M. H still is away....I pray for him to return to God daily.

Messy, I spent literally HOURS alone, in prayer and Bible reading with God when this whole mess first went down (didn't have any place else to turn!!) I spent about 2-4 hours A DAY for almost a solid year reading and taking in God's Word. God revealed Himself to me, His Love for me......and comforted me. It took awhile, but He gave me peace.....and (I believe) He gave me a sense that He WILL BRING MY H BACK!! In His time. NOT mine!!

WHEN that happens, it will be a *new* M, a new relationship, one that will absolutely include God in the center of it!!! NONE of that would have happened if this nuclear BLAST had not flattened the MESS of a house built on quicksand we had built ourselves.

As far as how do you know this? Well, that's another reason I spent lots of time in prayer and Bible reading. Each of us must know what God wants us to do regarding our M's. NO ONE ELSE's solution will work for you!! it has to be God's solution FOR YOU!!! And the only way to know what HE is trying to have you do is ASK HIM!!

Keep posting, we're here to help!

God Bless,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lupolady:
[QB][QUOTE]Messy!
AH!!! Found you again!!

Girl, I think you and I will "talk" a lot!!! Our stories are verrrrrry similar.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's reassuring to know I'm not alone. Do you find the emotional roller coaster of "maybe" -- "oh no, I was just kidding..." to be totally exhausting? Only thing I don't get is why I can't sleep or eat if this thing is wearing me out so much.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Messy, I spent literally HOURS alone, in prayer and Bible reading with God when this whole mess first went down
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't really know God that well. Parents were atheists, so I wasn't raised in any church or religion. Faith does not come easy to me, at times it does not come at all. Thanks for all your wisdom!

I didn't know God that well either. When my husband left I was so broken that I cried out to God to show me His will for my marriage. He sent me to this site www.restorem.org

Reading the book from this site taught me God's word and His will for marriage. I learned how to have faith and hope. GO read the testimonies.

Somedays I feel just like you did in your post. Then GOd will send something to encourage me.

Faith was hard for me to. I was brought up in church but I was never really taught about the love and power of Jesus. It took my husband leaving for me to start seeking God and His ways. It takes time.

You learn what faith is when it is all you have to hold onto. You seem to still be holding on so, I know you have faith. Faith is believeing in the unseen. If we could see it then we wouldn't need faith.

It does help to get answers to our prayers. I know how it is when you don't seem to be getting answers.Pray for little things. See what God does. LOOK for His answers. Keep praying for the big things and believe that if God will answer the little prayers he will answer the big ones also.

Once I just told God I needed a reason to believe. He anwered a big prayer request it an awesome way. Sometimes the answer doesn't look like the anwer at first. Believe me, it is awesome when you realize God is moving.

Hang on,

gentle

There are lots of ways to get God's Word into you.....you could start by turning on the radio or TV to a christian station.

The christian music stations on my radio are all I listen to now (for one thing, I realized HOW MANY of the songs I listened to were all about losing one's love..... - YUCK!!!). Didn't need to be listening to that all the time!

The christian music fills me with joy, a sense of the nearness of God, and His Word.

Pray for God to lead you to a church where He will meet you.....and He WILL!!! You must know someone who goes to church. Ask them if you can visit their church with them tomorrow. People are always happy to bring a visitor to church with them!

God will meet you more than half-way if you just ask Him to show you where He is!! He's waiting for you.......

God Bless you, {{{{{{{{{Messy}}}}}}}}}}}

i will share something told to me when I asked similiar questions. has this not brought you to a place where you are questioning everything from yourself to God and seeking answers....?
In this path there are answers waitting to be loked for. It is your choice to seek them out and by being in his word you will find them but in the process I think you will see that you will be seeing a change in youreself and that will be pleasing to GOd. Because yes there is one...If there werent I wouldnt be here today....

UPDATE: I'm happy to say H has reconsidered and is now willing to work on our relationship. I am having lots of trouble keeping track of the events that have unfolded. But basically I told him about a week ago that I thought there was something else going on beyond what he was saying, and that it seemed like he was harboring anger that contributed to things. Thanks to some of you, who pointed that out to me...

Anyway, about midnight that night he suddenly said, "I think my anger may be getting in the way of my thinking clearly about this". The next day we were out and about with friends (prior commitment) and at the end of the day he said he couldn't imagine being in these settings, and with our mutual friends, without me.

I should back up. The day BEFORE any of this happened, I had prayed to God to remove H's anger and hurt, and that if someone needed to have it, to give it to me instead. That VERY night I got my "wish" when H said he no longer wanted ANY romantic relationship with me and to forget it completely. We would simply live here together until we could get things straightened around, and then move on. I certainly got the hurt all at once that night.

But since then, things are gradually improving...

I have also been working on identifying things I've been doing that were not fair to him, and not the way I want to be as a person, and making different decisions about my actions. It is changing my attitudes, not just actions - this is a good thing, no matter what happens now.

We are not out of the woods. With unemployment looming for both of us in the next couple of months, we have other (survival) things to worry about also. But we both feel optimistic about being able to stay together.

One day at a time...

I should change my "name" to something like "Cautiously Optimistic". But I don't want to lose sight of the fact that I really did make a mess of things, and I better not forget all the things I NEVER want to do again.

It is really great to hear the news Messy (or should I say "Cautiously Optimistic").

God is faithful. Just use this as a reminder that He does care very much about you and He is wanting to build a better relationship with both of you.

Bless you.

S&C

That you are still searching is a wonderful step; even though it doesn't seem so right now. Many times we are "blinded" by our present situation and can't see God's work in our lives.

I believe ALL prayers are answered by:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Wait (God is seldom early but never late)

Please don't forget God gives us Free Will. If we choose a path that's outside His divine will for our lives or if there's issues in our lives that "block" His will for us; it's OUR responsibility to "make things right with God" FIRST.

I urge you to seek fellowship and counseling with the clergy of your faith. It might be the start of getting clarity and answers to your questions and doubts.

May God's grace be with you and sustain you through your pain and troubles.

Pegasus