I left my husband 6 weeks ago. I was hopeless, angry, hurt, and saw the separation as the only way out. I left while he was at work and he had no clue I was doing it. I know I hurt him immensely by doing it that way, and it hurt me immensely too, I cried the whole time I packed thinking that this is all WRONG! But I did it. And now I regret it. Happiness is what I was seeking, and now I am in total despair.
The day I left, after he cried, he went to his friend's house and told them what happened. That night, he asked his friend's cousin to be his "girlfriend." They have been seeing each other ever since. They don't live together, but they share either his bed or her's every night.
He is telling me that he loves me. He is telling me not to file, that we should just see where things will take us. He tells me that there is hope for a reconciliation "soon" but that he can't break up with the OW because he can't hurt her that way, and I'm the one that hurt him by leaving.
He is telling everyone that I am chasing him. That I won't leave him alone. That I call and come over and bug him. When in reality he is the one calling me. He comes to my house. He calls me and asks me to come over. He threatens divorce and then says it's not what he wants...that he will file because it's what I want. When he knows that it is not what I want. The OW thinks we are completely through, although, I know thru her cousin,that she is getting suspicious of my H and thinking that he is playing us against each other.
I am confused. I am hurt. I am devasted by this A. I can't understand how he can throw us away after 14 years together so easily. And I can't understand why, if he wants to be with her and that is what he is telling her, then why is he keeping me hanging on? Why does he tell me he loves me and misses me?
I need prayers to stay strong. I need patience to wait for him. I need strength to take care of myself and our son because I am making myself sick over this. But most of all, I need prayers for him. He is not on the same spiritual level as I am. I pray for God to open his heart and guide him to the right direction. I pray for forgiveness and peace. I am feeling so lost right now that I am afraid that I am not praying effectively.
Please pray for us. God is the only way we will heal and overcome this. God is the only one who can make what seems so impossible possible.
