We have been separated since mothers day. We dont have any children, she told me back in OCT.2002, she just doesnt feel anything for me anymore, she said "she's not in love with, and doesnt love me anymore" I know that she is completely withdrawn from our marriage, and doesnt want to make the least bit of effort to resolve anything. I dont know what to do, everything was fine while we were both in church, but I quit going about a year ago, and then about 4 or 5 months after that she quit going too. That is when the wheels fell off. I lied to her for years about using marijuana, and when she found out I still did that, I went to a 12-step program sponsored by our church, I've just started going back to church again, I needed forgiveness from God for the mess I've made of our marriage, it felt good to go back, and I know I need/needed to do this for myself. Yesterday I talked to my wife "Nancy" and she told me that she doesnt want to make any effort at all, I feel so lost, I said to her "Where does that leave us?" she said "If you want to go file for a divorce..fine." She doesnt want to go file..just yet apparently, she's been married twice before, and I dont think she wants to be divorced a third time, I called her this morning and said, I prayed last night and read my bible, I told her I was praying for her/us and our marriage...she said thank you. And I said to her...I'm not giving up!!! My situation seems hopeless, people are telling me to give up and move on/get on with your life. But, I cant. I know that God can heal this marriage, and heal her brokenheartedness and mine too. I just ask that whoever is reading this to please pray for Robert and Nancy in Texas. Pray for a hedge of protection around us to withstand the devil's assault on us individually and on our marriage...I ask this of you in Jesus' name...please!!! and may God bless you. Robert

<small>[ August 07, 2003, 12:25 PM: Message edited by: robert w baker ]</small>

robert,

i will certainly pray for you.

I would also recommend for certain to stay involved in church, including perhaps even getting a good christian man as an accountability partner.

You can only control your half of the situation now, just make sure your are doing the rite things, for the rite reasons!!! (to be closer to GOD)

hang tite,

scott

May I suggest counseling by someone who is a christian>????Someone to stand in the gap for the two of you until you are able to correct this journey? "Lord I ask you send laborers inot the paths of this man and his wife, send words of comfort and healing, lord I ask that you put your hand down from the nery heavens and give them both a healing to go forward in your desire. Bles them God, amne"

thank you scottyjay and hurtsmorethanheknows...we are seeing a christian counselor, but its not doing much good yet...can you please pray for our counselor to relay Godly wisdom and advise? I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm praying for guidance from God, I've submitted my will to His will, I'm reading the "Power of a Praying Husband" I'm going to church, I ask people everyday that are not already praying for us..to please do so. Robert

Robert,
I wanted to check in and see how the counseling is going???
I am praying that this counselor is standing in the gap for oyu and your wife until you both can find eachother.

Robert,
Just letting you know that I will keep you in my prayers, as I do with all MB'ers. I know exactly what you mean by people telling you to just go on with your life, that it's not worth it, and to give up on your spouse. And I understand why you can't, I am in the same boat, only my H is involved very deeply in a PA. Don't give up. God does not want to see your marriage end. Take it slowly, pray for patience, and look for the small things. It won't happen overnight...I've learned that already.

Is your wife in counseling also? I have been going it alone, as my H won't go. He also feels justified in his A because I left him and we are "broke up." Like this is some high school boyfriend/girlfriend thing. We have been married 13 years. We did not "break up." I left hoping things between us would get better, I took drastic measures, but I was lost and confused and hurt and angry. And in my leaving I've realised 2 very important things. One, I was very wrong to leave. And two, I love my H very deeply.

Even with his A going on, I still want him back, I still feel there is hope for us. I look for the small things, and they make me feel better. But, it always seems that we take one step forward and three steps back. But I know that with God, all things are possible. DON'T GIVE UP! DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE. I'm sure they mean well, because they don't want to see you hurting, but it's your life, your marriage, and your decision to fight for it.

I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.

I love coming into the prayer request forum because most everyone here is seeking reconiciliation with a spouse and is "hoping agaisnt all hope". I guess I find myself to be likeminded with all who are and it refreshes my soul. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I can't help but notice the correlation between seeking reconciliation and seeking prayer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I mean... well, prayer puts us in a humble state of mind, doesn't it?

Robert, you are in my prayers. There is great humility, repentance, and godly sorrow in the voice in your posts. God is doing a good work in you and will continue to as you keep seeking Him and allowing Him to shape you even though the anvil hurts.

With the counselor, use discernment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I know counseling is oft recommended, but I do not always think it is helpful but can even be detrimental for the fact you mentioned... that your counselor is not coming from a Biblical viewpoint on your marriage.

Robert, I highly encourage you to go to www.restorem.org and www.rejoiceministries.org... run by 2 couples who themselves divorced and remarriaed. God has truly annointed their ministries and they are quite different from this particular one (marriage builders) in that they are support ministries (support for reconciliation) but not forums in which just anybody can give you advice. If you feel led... go.

God bless you Brother.

Well all...I'm sorry to have to inform you that we will be divorcing. My wife has a boyfriend now, who is practically living with her in my house. When I found this out, I got a lawyer and filed papers on Aug.28th. It hurts me to think that I was so quickly and easily replaced, and that she could turn off her emotions like turning off a faucet. She is not the person I thought she was. I appreciate all of your prayers, and I pray that for those of you who are going through a similiar situation...that it doesnt turn out the way mine did...Goodbye. and God bless. Robertwbaker.

Robert,
Why ,if you love her so, are you so quick to file for divorce. You need to decide if you love her or not!!!! Then stand if you love her and withdraw the papers. One thing that needs to be addressed is her two previous relationships and divorces. Didn't that throw up a red flag to you? The bible says that to marry a divorced woman is committing adultery. However, TRUE repentence would have washed that away. Did this take place? Why did the marriages end? Did she end them both? You need to find the ROOT of why her relationships end. She may go thru several more, unless the root is found.

God Bless
singleguy

Robert,
The words of those who replied here are not their words alone, but come from God's Word. If you love your W as I hear and feel that you do, withdraw the papers; find a counselor who has a biblical perspective on M; and, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE.

My W has filed, and I rec'd the papers on 9/12, and I have refused to sign them. In fact right now, she is at her lawyer's discussing who knows what. I love her very deeply and even if she takes me to D court, I am not going to hire a lawyer for the D. I might speak to one to get some legal advice, but they would have to have a biblical perspective on D; just like my new counselor.
If you check on my postings tryingTOsaveMYmarriage you will see that God has shown me several signs. Everytime I felt like giving up (almost every day) He shows me something. So everyday, I turn it over to Him, and I feel peace inside. Then the deceiver tugs at her again and again and makes it difficult for me again. But I have not given up hope. AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

Lord, You sent your Son to earth to die for our sins. By confessing that we are sinners and believing in Your Awesome Mercy and Love, let us find comfort in the trials that are placed before us. Continue to work on Robert's heart so he does not give up hope. Also, work on his W's heart; have her realize that Robert is truly sorry for his actions of the past. Help her to remember why she fell in love with Robert in the first place. Enlighten her to discover the pattern she has been following in her life/marriage so that she may break away from it and become the woman You intended her to be. We ask this Heavenly Father, that Thy Will Be Done. Amen.

TTSMM

PS Robert, I would like to add your name to the weekly prayer forum, if that is OK with you?