Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another. Every Weds we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: cajunky, Ezra, Willgetthruthis, Godisincontrol, Natasha79, JohnC, NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done, Wallace, relady, steadfast and committed, morriggs, lupolady, stillwaiting, Broken Hearted, PasDeDeux, hopeful_person, GinnyF, justpeachy, cry2much, SNL, LostAgain (Dave&April), Dodger, gloriachu, LoveNcare, JMF, WEN, NiteHawk, Absurd, LetSTry, AgainsttheWind, cemmerson, getting better, kellidiane, Terrified, BeeLee, idostylin, Resilient, thiscantbehappening, day by day, Jloves, broken x3, Sue with Hope, sunrise1, shepette, Malc, Faithfulwife, timbo-e, Angelia, FeelingAllAlone, broken_joe, dopey, awake, truly a friend, Is it to late, stilltryingtosaveit, landslide, GODBLESSU, vega, LoyalWarrior, janna-m-r, ferbie, epiphOny, simmy, cajeanie, d_rose, lost_lonely, briank4775, mayflower, Caged_Bird, LunaDove, goldielocks109, darwud, Mrs. darwud, Zuzus Petals, adamv, Army Hubby, Gail (mojodiva)& Shane, bonnie five & H, TryingToKeepHope, Hopeful98, lghoping, SoTired (Mike & Trish), evega, Douglas and Kirsi Nielson, Jessicafl27, kimmy2, auntielala, weezy8550, miserynmissouri, STBXWife, sealfan, Jen Brown, LunaDove, SMIAJ, cinderella, day by day, GreggC, trying_to_accept, solon, serenitydipity, ilia, lonejrock, anchorhugger, Prayer & Patience, Chikar, Alex6, Hopeforamiracle, fishlady, rookie, Made A Mess of Things, *DeepSigh*, boden, new comittment, deeplyhurting, jeff15679, Bob Castaldi, k57mo, skottyjay (Scott and Melody), TROD (Tony and Julie), thisso, ladysheep, hurtmorethanheknows, singleguy, tryingTOsaveMYmarriage, Keesley,

Prayers Answered: Lupolady(air conditioner), Steadfastandcommitted (first string again), cry2much(sucessful surgery), Movingonwithlife(Wife coming home), WGTT(accepted into mentor program), betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery), Againstthewind (Got job), Free (Marriage Restoration begun ), cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me), Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.), Stillwaiting(Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened), Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man), janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS), tsc (marriage being restored), Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that “just LOVES me”), d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.), WGTT (WH coming home), GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it), hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation),

Thank you everyone that prayed with us and also all of you that gave a praise report. Like many of you all, I like to see the praises to answered prayer. It is a blessing to hear how God is working and helping people get through tough times.

<small>[ August 26, 2003, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]</small>

I'm going to deviate from Power of a praying Husband this week. I ran across an article posted on the internet this week by Angels Thomas.

I hope it helps someone this week. I know it helped remind me of a few things. And ladies, this isn't just for the men.

The Question Every Woman Asks
By Angela Thomas
May 2003

Let me just tell you right from the beginning, I know that you've tried.

And you know you've tried.

Lord knows that you have scratched your head in wonder and profound confusion when it comes to the woman that you love. You've tried to hear and understand. You want to give and respond. Ten fabulous dates. Seven promises. Five love languages. Three counselors. One marriage conference. Anything. Everything. But whatever you do, it's never enough. The target of her desire moves and you can't seem to hit the bullseye.

You've tried, we both know it. But the truth is that you can't.

In a hundred different ways, she has asked you, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" and in just as many ways, you've tried to tell her "Yes, oh my goodness, yes, you are incredibly beautiful to me." She may have never asked you in those exact words. Actually, I have never asked that question out loud to anyone in my entire life. I guess I have always been afraid that there would be a micro-second of hesitation and I'd feel like a fool. So she may not have asked you directly, but everything about her is wired to long for beauty especially to be known as beautiful. One of the questions that our Creator attached to her feminine soul is, "Do you think I'm beautiful?"

The beauty that a woman longs for isn't all about body image. Well, maybe it's a little about body image. Shoot, somedays it feels like it's all about body image. But the deeper beautiful that she longs for is about complete acceptance. Does anyone see her flawed and sinful and still call her beautiful? Do you see the loneliness? Do you see her struggle? Do you see the unmet desires of her heart? Do you see her yearn for the life she has dreamed of? Do you see her in the middle of all that mess and still call her beautiful?

Somehow, somewhere, she got to thinking that you could answer the question attached to her soul. Maybe it had something to do with the way you kissed her the first time and the second time and the third time. Maybe in your arms she finally knew what it felt like to be desired by someone she desired. Maybe she had only read about passion and romance until she met you. Maybe you did that wonderful thing that a man can do to a woman . . . turned her world upside down and made her believe she couldn't take another breath without you. How cool that God planned such a ruckus when a man and a woman fall in love. He must certainly enjoy watching His created find pleasure and peace in one another.

But somehow in the middle of all that, a woman can begin to believe that a man might just be all that she needs. He will answer my questions. He can heal my wounds. He can fill up the cup of my soul. He will make me whole. But she has lost sight of the design . . . God has made us for Himself. Eugene Peterson paraphrased Paul's words from Ephesians 1:4-5:

Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!)

He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. (The Message, emphasis mine)

You and I and the woman that you love have been made by God, for God. The part of us that aches to be filled is the soul, and the soul was made for his presence. In this passage, Paul says that we will not be full . . . we will not be whole, apart from the love of God.

By design, the fullness that we long for will never be found without the presence of God in our lives. Not just a nodding presence, mind you, but an intimate, personal relationship. A living, vital exchange of love and mutual pleasure. This is not a casual glance toward spirituality. What I am talking about is a yearning that takes us beyond shallow religiosity and into the depths of pursuing the God of all Creation . . . the Holy One . . . the Lover of our Soul.

God did not mean for the canyon inside your heart to remain empty . . . that is the place he has planned to fill, make whole, with his love.

But God also made us relational. We have been made to long for the other lovers, giving and receiving love and intimacy. It's just that we have lost sight of the order. We've misunderstood the design. Wholeness comes from God, not from any other relationship or thing or feeling. Don't get me wrong, relationships, things and feelings are great, as a matter of fact, they can be wonderful . . . it's just that all by themselves, they will never fill you up, they will never be enough, they will never make you whole.

Remember? You have been made by God, for God and apart from him there will always be emptiness in your soul.

So what about the love of a man and a woman? It can be fabulous when your soul is full of the love of God. But it can be devastating when you have expected someone to fill up the dry and empty places.

A woman who has known healthy love from a man is stronger, content and more self-assured. This covering of healthy love becomes a touch-stone of sorts. A safe place to run back to. A haven to rest in. A shelter in the storm. There is someone to come to her rescue. There is someone to hold her in the night. There is someone to call her beautiful.

Perfect. It might all be just perfect, except that one day the woman can wake up and look at the man who calls her beautiful and decide that he's not enough . . . just a few minor adjustments and he'd be a much better compliment . . . just a couple of changes and he'd finally get it right. Maybe if he'd come home in time for dinner, or pick up his socks, or make more money, or part his hair differently . . . then maybe he'd be enough to fill every longing . . . then, maybe he'd make her whole.

A woman can gaze across her backyard and dreamily believe that her neighbor's man could get it right. He owns his own business, can barbeque for fifty, smiles a lot and brings her expensive gifts. She could imagine that he wants to know what she is thinking, rubs her feet at night and asks her which video she'd like him to rent. Well, he might be all that, but probably not. He is just a man. Beyond the personality she glimpsed across the picket fence is a real person with fallen places and wounds that keep him from being able to meet his wife's deepest needs too.

In the effort to make things perfect, a woman can beg her man to be like the one over there. She's hoping that if he could change, then she'd finally be whole. When the man feels like he is asked to be something he wasn't ever made to be, when he senses the pressure to meet expectations that seem unattainable, when he wants to fill but doesn't really understand how to pour, after years of talking and trying and talking some more, then the man can step back in frustration.

There is a distance the woman tries to counter, so she leans in and desperately asks him for more. And he might try from miles away, but he can't. So he looks across the backyard and wonders if his neighbor's woman has these needs. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe a woman like her could appreciate a man like him. And his heart wanders away. And he gives up on romance with the one he has loved and the passion dies. And the heart of the woman who has expected the man to be enough dies with it.

Here's the deal . . . you weren't made to be enough to fill the woman's soul. You already knew that. You are just a man and can only give as a man and interact as a man and love as a man. You were not designed to fill the depth of a woman's longings, anticipate every need and jump through every hoop.

You can't. Those deep places inside of the woman were made for God.

You are a vessel. God uses you to give her a part of the filling of his holy love. But you are not the only vessel, nor are you able to fill from your own strength, nor are you the only thing she will ever need. When a woman cries out, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" the only answer that's enough comes from God. He says to her in Psalm 45:11, "the king is enthralled with your beauty." For a woman to be filled in the depths of her soul, the love of God is required . . . knowing him. . . hearing his voice . . . believing that he's wild about her . . . dancing in his arms.

So you're off the hook. You can't ever be enough. You can't ever really answer the question attached to her soul.

But you still have a responsibility to the one that you love. If you are a vessel, you have to be a good one. You are called to listen to God and obey as the Holy Spirit leads. You are to love her in the ways God prompts your heart. If the Holy Spirit directs you to speak words of blessing to her, then for goodness sake don't hold back. If God instructs you to fuss over her and pamper her, then get moving. Obey his promptings. Through your obedience, she will taste a part of the love God has for her.

Even though you will never be enough, please keep trying. Even when the target moves, don't give up, keep aiming for her heart. Even when you are discouraged, look up and He will give you grace. This is a spiritual act of worship . . . to love her well is to worship God.

Now put down these words and get in there and kiss that woman like it's the first time.

TTSMM,

I have added you to the list (you too singleguy).

Believe it or not I have followed your story since July 31st. I stayed up most of the night praying for you and your family. I didn’t post because there were enough people giving you the right message and I thought it more important to keep you lifted up. I have poked my head into your first thread a few times just to check on you. It sounds like your doing much much better.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My W is agnostic and told me yesterday, she is happy to stay that way, and that in the past I tried to force her to change. I didn't, I only asked that she would attend with our children on high holy days. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One thing to remember, you will have your perception, and she will have her’s. And the other thing to remember is her perception is the reality you need to deal with. If she thinks you tried to get her to change, that’s what you need to deal with. And in a way she can clearly perceive and understand.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Even with her lack of belief, we experienced something somewhat miraculous shortly after we met. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think God will allow her (and you) to experience miracles. But you need to let the Lord remind her of them not you. Let Him speak to her heart.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is now surrounded by friends(?) an atty and a therapist who all want her to end the misery. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is also surrounded by a loving H that has much authority over the enemies influence. Probably even more than you realize right now. And a God that is so madly in love with her that He will go (has gone) to great lengths to win her to Him.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">…when I returned my W was in disbelief and distrusting of the changes she saw in me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Time and consistency will get her to believe and trust again.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She even told me one night, after an arguement, "You have become the man I wish you were when I first met you.....BUT, I cannot forgive the infidelity." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Truth be told; it’s not that she cannot forgive it’s, she will not (at least not now). There are more things she needs to process first. Let her go through that stuff.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I now have a mentor, my neighbor, and we have started reading the Bible together on Tuesday evenings (once thus far). I have downloaded some books of the Bible to my laptop so I can read them at work, home, etc. I have read Genesis and started Exodus, Matthew and Romans. I have been praying a Rosary (or two) almost everyday in my car ride to work. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">These are very good things, may I suggest that you try keeping an ongoing conversation with God in addition to the other stuff. Nothing like a conversation to improve a relationship. And nothing like an intimate conversation to develop an intimate relationship. He knows all the crap in your life anyway, why not get comfortable talking to Him about it?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When I feel tempted, I look down to the ground on my left and point my finger a Satan, telling him to leave me alone. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just calmly rebuke the enemy. You will find that one thing the enemy does to keep us from our R with God is to fool us into giving him more attention than he deserves. If you really stay focused on God it really isn’t going to matter what Satan does. Because, “It don’t matter”.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Satan showed me more and told me I deserved more, and I listened. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is the ironic thing about the enemy. He has told you a partial truth. You do deserve more and God has promised it to you. What the enemy has done is convinced you that you can get that “more” here in this temporary tent your soul resides in. That “more” is your hope for eternity and the unquenchable desire we all have that can only be filled by the love of God. Nothing else on Earth can quench it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know part of God's plan for me going through this is to inform other potential (or current) WS', STOP BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF, YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR ETERNAL SALVATION! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good God has given you a vision. Do everything you can to make it come to be (with or without your W, God will take care of her). And don’t jump in too soon. Let God give you the timing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">From constant pressure from my W that I have a problem, I finally, reluctantly, admitted to being a sex addict. After this I have been told by therapists, clergy, friends, family, etc. about a 50-50 split on me being an addict. I don't feel I am an addict, BUT, I definitely did activities that were morally wrong. I am looking for an SA meeting in my area so I can go in and be saved from going further down this dark path. I have not chatted, strip clubs in 5 years, no A in 5 years (almost one 4 years ago). No mags or vids in 3 months. I did falter this past week. a few times, one-two minute viewings of MA rated cable movies. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is one of those things that will give your W a clear example of your desire and ability to change.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So closing this, please pray for G & M and our two children, Noelle and Stefan, that God save our M and restore our love for eachother (if it be God's will). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is God’s will! But it may not be your W’s choice. There is a difference.

I’d like to recommend two books to you. “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren and “The Sacred Romance” by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. Read “Sacred Romance” first.

Bless you on this journey.

S&C

I am new to this forum & having problems with figuring out how to contact people, but here is my story. My husband left just two weeks before our 2nd Ann.I belive he is depressed & going through mid-life crisis.When he left he also left our church,said he did not want to be married,& many things men in mid-life crisis say. There is no other woman.After i dealt with my anger & pain I turned to the Lord for restortation of my marriage. we had a good marriage & a love beyond anything either of ys could picture.My husband started communicating with me again & even started going to church with me again,& now we see each other almost daily, but hes still gone.He hasnt filed for divorce & tells me daily he loves me But he is still depressed.I have asked him to grow with me to seek help & work out our issues but he is indecive to what he wants.Sometimes I feel he will continue this way forever because he has me still in his life without having to work on us.I have prayed daily & told him i will stand in our marriage, but I feel so much pain most of the time. I make more money than him but not enough to survive so I have had to get a part-time job also. As for him he cant pay the rent which makes him more depressed.Please add me to your prayer list. I really would like to know more about the womans Bible Study also. I believe God works miracles & I need one!

Keesley,

I have added your name to the prayer list.

Have you gone back to your original thread under Other Topics and read what SmileADay wrote?

I will also recommend the same thing start with the The New Member Info. You will find a lot of information and support. After you have read through it and the material that is suggested, post again under the Emotional Needs Forum with more information. You will get more responses I'm sure.

But right now please do get some good counseling. Working on you, is the best thing to help ease the emotional rollercoaster ride.

Bless you.
S&C

Friends,

I have completed Power of Praying Wife.....

I would like to have your comments about what we should be using for our weekly prayers now.....

I am not opposed to starting over with "Power...." book. Just let me know what you all think, ok?

Today I am enclosing one of the daily devotionals I recieve online from Steinkamp's (Rejoice Ministries), but don't know if this will suffice, or if someone has any other ideas for Wednesdays from now on.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
GOD DOES MOVE MOUNTAINS! by Charlyne Steinkamp:

"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron." Isaiah 45:2

God can level your mountains. I called my mountain, "divorce." In Mark 11:22-23 it says to say to your mountain, 'Go, throw yourself
into the sea.' Speak to your mountain of circumstance and say, "Be gone, in the Name of Jesus." My Lord had touched my heart many years
ago to praying for a miracle that seem in the natural, impossible. Yet as I prayed, the Lord kept giving me scriptures that seemed to leap off the page and touched my heart. What is your vision, dream or hope for your marriage? Write it down, so that you can remember what the Lord has revealed to you.

"This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you." Jeremiah 30:2

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)

When our family recently went to Stone Mountain we learned about the history of the Confederate Memorial Carving which measures 90 by 190 feet, and is recessed 42 feet into the mountain. The carving existed only in the imagination of Mrs. C. Helen Plane, who was a charter member of the United Daughters of the Confederacy. This one person birthed a imagination into a dream, into a goal, into a reality. Where would you or I be, if you or I did not dream and plan for goals, dreams and visions for our future?

Your goal or dream many years ago was to marry and be happy ever after. Your dream came true, but now it has been shattered by an unseen enemy.
Now let's seek the Lord's plan and vision for your future. Listen to His plan. Remember, God spoke to Noah to build an ark to save His family. (Genesis 6) Listen to God's plan for rebuilding your marriage. God can remove your mountain of darkness!

"The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne. Fire goes before Him and consumes His foes on every side. His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see His glory."
Psalm 97:1-6

God can remove and melt mountains like wax! What a powerful word picture. Don't give up on God's vision, dream or plan that He has given you. As Mrs. Plane shared her imagination, three sculptors worked on the carving during its creation. One was hired in 1915, did not begin the work until 1923 due to funding problems. A dispute arose between the sculptor and the managing association. As a result, the sculptor left, taking all of his sketches and models with him. The second sculptor resumed the work on the project in 1925, but by 1928, the funding ran out again. The massive granite mountain remained untouched for the next 36 years.

Did Mrs. Plane's dream seem impossible or hopeless? Probably in the world's eyes, but as I looked at the massive sculpture, unless you know the history, no one knows how much determination, tenacity and perseverance completing the project took. It started with the vision of one woman! Think of how many people today are being affected by one woman's dream. That is what you must have for your marriage. What you are doing today, will affect many generations in the future.

"...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

You may feel you are going through the darkest hours of your storm. You may have many mountains of circumstances coming before you. Be still and know that God is in control! He knows everything and where you are! Allow Him to protect you from the enemy.

In 1958, the state of Georgia purchased the mountain and surrounding land. In 1964, the Stone Mountain Memorial Association chose Walker Hancock to complete the carving with a new technique utilizing thermo-jet torches used to carve away the granite. It was finished in eight years in 1972, from a woman's dream that started in 1912. May none of us forget that to reach our goals, we may go through many up's and down's of life, but keep pressing on going forward to reach the prize and goal that the Lord gave you at the beginning of your spiritual journey!

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

How many times do you want to quit standing? How many times do you wish you did not have to work? I believe that throughout the Bible, the Lord's teaches us that we need to be in God's army going forward to win the war, and not stopping to look back at the enemy, who is coming after us! Remember, the Egyptians and the Red Sea!

"As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!' Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid.
Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.' Then the LORD said to Moses, 'Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.' Exodus 14:10-16

Do not allow fear to destroy you. Believe in God's mighty power. Stand firm and look to your Lord and He will make a way to finish what He has planned and started in making a beautiful marriage carved out on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. Praise His Holy Name! What a masterpiece-a restored marriage!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

All,
With God in my life, there are no coinicidences. I had my second mentoring session with my neighbor yesterday and it was great. We talked about the First Love relationship with God. How when you have the first love, you want to please them, to talk to everyone about them, to be with them all the time, to love them, to go out of your way for them, carry their picture around with you, etc. This is what God expects from his people, to have Him as your First Love.

We also discussed how, if it be his will that I reconcile my marriage, that he desrves all the praise; not the therapists, the lawyers, the families, friends, etc. He deserves all the praise because it was HIS Will, and His Will alone. God lead me to my men's group, my therapist friends, etc. and let me try to resolve my issues through their assistance. He let me "try it on my own". Now, I see that those were good things I had tried, but because I did not allow God back in to my life, there turned into shallow attempts. But, now that I have been actively seeking God in my life again, I feel more confident that my marriage will be saved (if it is in His divine plan for me and my family).

S&C, I want to thank you for the Prayer for a Wife, last week. Ever since I read that, I no longer feel anger towards my wife for not forgiving me, for not wanting to stay together, for how she has treated me in the marriage (I am the WS). Now I feel a compassion and love for her and want to see her happy and safe and as a good mother. I passed this prayer onto one of my friends and will pass to family members as well.

For me it is difficult at times. I am an impatient man and want results right away. This is why I let Satan charm me into breaking my vows. Immediate gratification. But, now, I must learn patience and to let God work His miraculous plan for me and my family.

THY WILL BE DONE!

TTSMM

I thank God for this forum and this thread. I have been asking God for a new season of life and to show me His purpose. Sometimes God works in such a BIG way that we can't see itright away. I also know that when He is fixing things like US it takes a little time. I'd rather he teach me over time. I hate that bolt of lightning thing. Just joking!!! Anyway, I just felt led to post and encourage someone and tell them not to loose hope. God IS working for your behalf.
God Bless
singleguy

TTSMM,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">S&C, I want to thank you for the Prayer for a Wife, last week. Ever since I read that, I no longer feel anger towards my wife for not forgiving me, for not wanting to stay together, for how she has treated me in the marriage (I am the WS). Now I feel a compassion and love for her and want to see her happy and safe and as a good mother. I passed this prayer onto one of my friends and will pass to family members as well.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One thing I have found is when we start being the godly H we are supposed to be, and start praying for our wives, God starts to work on OUR heart. We begin to get a perspective we never knew before (God's perspective).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For me it is difficult at times. I am an impatient man and want results right away. This is why I let Satan charm me into breaking my vows. Immediate gratification. But, now, I must learn patience and to let God work His miraculous plan for me and my family.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, I'm a fixit kind'a guy myself. It has taken me a while (and I'm still learning) but I have come to realize that I need to have the mind that "I shouldn't care that I'm not the one to fix it. If God can fix my M then all the better; I mean, who better to fix it than the designer?"

Maybe sometimes I want the glory of being able to say "I fixed it!". Kind'a dumb huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Just like me trying to fix a nuclear submarine or a rocket engine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Anyway, I want you to know you're doing good. Have patience and converse w/ God. Bless you.

S&C

Just checking in. Please pray today for my family and my WH,Dan.

Special request today - I am sending a letter telling him I know about the OC and how hurt I am.
Please pray with me that this letter will be received by my WH with love aand wisdom and not anger, and that this will begin to open his heart, his eyes and his ears to hear God speaking to him. That he will find a desire in his heart to please God.

That he will start to communicate with me again and stop shutting me out, and that God will give him a new heart and a new spirit, and that he will begin to understand that God has a way for him to make right everything he has done, and that God is making a path for him to return to his M and to me, but he has to take the first step.

Thank you all for your prayers. I will be praying this afternoon for all of you.

Cajeanie

Sad news. My W called me at work an hour ago. She told me that she finished talking to her lawyer's asst and that tonight, at home, I was going to be served D papers. THIS IS THE DARKEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I am NOT thinking about suicide or anything like that. I said several 'Our Father's' to get myself through. I have a terrible pain in my stomach and my hands are trembling. "Thy Will be Done!" is all I keep saying. How do I act when I get home? How do I react when this stranger comes to my home and serves me the papers? GOD HELP ME!

TTSMM

TTSMM,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do I act when I get home? How do I react when this stranger comes to my home and serves me the papers? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nothing has changed. God is still God; and you are still a child of God. Your W still needs to know that you are a safe place for her and you will continue to be a safe place for her. Don't take your mind off of what you have started with God.

Does she still have the preception that you are an SA? If so, what are you showing her that tells her you are serious about dealing with it?

You are on the right track. Love your W like Christ loved the church. Show yourself you love her; show her, that you love her; and show everyone around you that you love her. In ways each one can clearly see.

Hang in there. Praying for you.

S&C

S&C,
If she rejects and argues about anything I do for her, how do I show her? Words don't mean a thing; actions do. I don't know what actions to do, EXCEPT stop ALL LBing. How else can I show her I love her?

TTSMM

TTSMM,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If she rejects and argues about anything I do for her, how do I show her? Words don't mean a thing; actions do. I don't know what actions to do, EXCEPT stop ALL LBing. How else can I show her I love her?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stopping all LBing is definately a start. When someone is in the fog they will use any negative things as a justification. Beyond that, I can tell you that my W hated anything I did for her after she was determined to leave me. Later, she told me "Things would have been so much easier if you had just stayed the way you were. I could have left to live with OM. Now if I leave I will look like the bad guy." That told me, even though she didn't want me to do those things, she noticed them and she was waiting to see if the changes were going to be permanent or not.

Every morning I told her she was beautiful. She didn't want to accept it from me. I made sure she knew I was doing things that would take the load off of her work day. I prayed everyday that God would destroy the relationship that she and OM had. I prayed that OM would say or do things that made my W take an other look at him. I bought the book Power of a praying Husband and prayed the prayers with a sincere heart. I asked her (after a while of positive reactions) if I could pray over her before she went into work every morning. I brought her flowers to her desk at work. I started to take her to lunch every three weeks or so.

Little commando raids of touches to get her used to me touching her again. I would find a reason to squeeze through a place she was and just touch her shoulder to tell her I needed to come through and said excuse me. I figured what did I have to lose?

I also did everything I could to let my W know I was safe to be around. She could tell me anything

But, I also went to work on me. I started reading God's word everyday not just whenever. I listened to worship songs while I was in the car. I surrounded my W and I with prayer warriors. I got everything I could get my hands on to read so I could understand what was going through my W's head and what she was feeling.

What did you do for her when you frist dated? She'll remember how much she liked it.

It's hard to sum up the last nearly two years of my M in this one post. But you need to know you won't take it all back over night. It is a slow road to recovery and you will need to pace yourself for the small victories and the seemingly large setbacks. But try to understand God's will in all of this of both of you. He wants your heart above all things. And maybe God wants you to be better, to help bring your W back to Him (and restore your M in the process).

I know this is long and maybe scatter brained, but I hope it helps. Bless you.

S&C

Lupolady,

I think starting over with "Power" would be good. It is such a great book. And we do need to keep praying for our WS.

But I wanted to let you know that I have been getting so much from the posts you are placing here from the Steinkamps, and hope you will continue to include them.

Also, I really liked the ones from the "Prodigal Son".

I can't tell you how many times I have been tempted to call it quits on my M and my WH and then have come here and found the strength to go just one more week. That's how it is for me - just one more day, just one more week right now.

Things look so hopeless and dark right now, and I feel so confused, that just finding the inspiration for one more day, is a miracle in itself. I would guess that I am not the only one who feels that way, either.

I truly am thankful because I know that the prayers of all those here are helping me, and even though I continue to spend time reading God's word and trying to understand, I get so much help here.

So, I think whatever book you want to start with, will be ok. The power is in God's word and in our prayers, and reaching out to support each other and that is the most important thing.

For me, this is the only place I can come any more and get support for continuing to stand for my M. Almost all of my family and friends have accepted that D is inevitable and have stopped believing, and now think I need "help" because I continue to believe that God is working to restore my M.

My funds are really tight and I can't afford any extra expenses for books or tapes, so I really appreciate when you take the time to bring it to us here.

Thanks, Lupolady and S&C, and to all who are praying for me.

Cajeanie

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can't tell you how many times I have been tempted to call it quits on my M and my WH and then have come here and found the strength to go just one more week. That's how it is for me - just one more day, just one more week right now.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Things look so hopeless and dark right now...I would guess that I am not the only one who feels that way, either.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are correct! My div has been final for 14 months. I understand "hopeless and dark looking"
But then I come here and read of others who are also standing, and go to my church and hear sermons like last night............
We had a special service, a visiting pastor. He said, "I am here with a Word from God for someone......Someone here is struggling with Dream Thieves, satan is trying to snatch their dreams......to destroy them......"

Text was from Nehemiah 4:1-8, when Israel was rebuilding the walls..........
He said some of the ways our dreams get stolen are through criticism (from others, telling us WE'RE CRAZY!!!!!!!!),
or distractions - we have to stay focused. He even mentioned how M's are destroyed by a H or W being distracted by OP, and leave the M!!!,
or we might get distracted by another "relationship" - and friends/relatives telling us we should move on.........start living again. LORD!!!!!!!! I HATE THOSE PHRASES...............
WHAT THE HE** DO THEY THINK I'M DOING ALL DAY EVERY DAY?????

The third Dream Thief is Fear. Self-explanatory.

Final quote from his sermon: "You can always tell the value of the dream by the price you are willing to pay for it.

So what's YOUR stand (and your M) worth to you?

God Bless all

Thanks everyone for praying for my M and my family.

Yesterday, when I came home, my W was somewhat cordial in her approach to me and was appreciative when I did things for her; i.e., offered to mail out our Christams stockings to be knitted. Plus other little things. When I was making dinner for myself, she asked if she could have some. I told her yes. We didn't have any green peppers, so she went to the store to get one. While she was out, I set the table (nothing fancy) and continued cooking. She was out for quite a while, and I was about to unset the table, when she came in. She was upset that I had done that. "You know I don't eat with you anymore." I told her that I menat nothing by this except a cordial meal, "the kids are still awake in the other room". She said that when I do things like this it infruiates her. "I am divorcing you. You will serverd the papers on Friday." She went on about why she is D'ing me and that M should not be this difficult. She wanted to know why I am such an angry man? She wants a man who is calm and mellow in her life. I agreed with her. She told me to continue improving myself, but not for her. She said, not to be bit**Y?, but that with my parents now gone, I will problably do better. *Interesting, yesterday was the 1 year since my Dad passed away, I had completely forgotten. Coinicidence that she talks about my parents?

She said she could never see herself having sex with me again and that she enjoys sex and is still young (42) and that we both deserve to have sex again. She said I deserve to have someone who wants sex the way I want. I told her to not decide for me what kind of sex I wanted, that those wants were five years ago. But we ended up going down the same conversation again...so we stopped. She said that with my illness (SA) that how could she be with me, etc. I showed her a note I had in my pocket. It had numbers to several sex anons on it. She said that that was good and she hoped I was doing it for me and not her, "You can't win me back." I then sat down to dinner while she went upstairs to eat.

After dinner, I went to the garage to clean out my parents things, still cleaning this up. I found a lot of notes and cards, etc. and had a few crying sessions.

Concerning the SA. I spoke to a man in Houston for about 20 minutes and I got a lot of spiritual strength from him. He had asked if my W had gone for any help. I told she did but that the groups she had gone to all were about her disolving the M; that she shouldn't be in this; that it was all my problem and she n=had nothing to do with it. The man told me that she should have gone to a COSA mtg, there she would see her part in this addiction. IF she doesn't go and get that type of help for herself, she will just attract another SA in her life. Also, from the things I told him, he doesn't feel I am a SA. I am still going to attend, because even though sex is not on my mind 24x7, I still want answers to why I did what I did and to know that I can change, that I have changed. I will make phone calls today and find something.

Tonite you can chat with Charlyne at Rejoice Ministries at 7:00 & 8:30 EST. Go to www.rejoicenet.net. You must get a user ID and password available at the same site. God Bless everyone this weekend and may He pour out His COMPLETE peace upon you.
singleguy