Well, I don't know where Steadfast & Committed is, soooooooooo I figured I'd better get this out there:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another. Every Weds we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: cajunky, Ezra, Willgetthruthis, Godisincontrol, Natasha79, JohnC, NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done, Wallace, relady, steadfast and committed, morriggs, lupolady, stillwaiting, Broken Hearted, PasDeDeux, hopeful_person, GinnyF, justpeachy, cry2much, SNL, LostAgain (Dave&April), Dodger, gloriachu, LoveNcare, JMF, WEN, NiteHawk, Absurd, LetSTry, AgainsttheWind, cemmerson, getting better, kellidiane, Terrified, BeeLee, idostylin, Resilient, thiscantbehappening, day by day, Jloves, broken x3, Sue with Hope, sunrise1, shepette, Malc, Faithfulwife, timbo-e, Angelia, FeelingAllAlone, broken_joe, dopey, awake, truly a friend, Is it to late, stilltryingtosaveit, landslide, GODBLESSU, vega, LoyalWarrior, janna-m-r, ferbie, epiphOny, simmy, cajeanie, d_rose, lost_lonely, briank4775, mayflower, Caged_Bird, LunaDove, goldielocks109, darwud, Mrs. darwud, Zuzus Petals, adamv, Army Hubby, Gail (mojodiva)& Shane, bonnie five & H, TryingToKeepHope, Hopeful98, lghoping, SoTired (Mike & Trish), evega, Douglas and Kirsi Nielson, Jessicafl27, kimmy2, auntielala, weezy8550, miserynmissouri, STBXWife, sealfan, Jen Brown, LunaDove, SMIAJ, cinderella, day by day, GreggC, trying_to_accept, solon, serenitydipity, ilia, lonejrock, anchorhugger, Prayer & Patience, Chikar, Alex6, Hopeforamiracle, fishlady, rookie, Made A Mess of Things, *DeepSigh*, boden, new comittment, deeplyhurting, jeff15679, Bob Castaldi, k57mo, skottyjay (Scott and Melody), TROD (Tony and Julie), thisso, ladysheep, hurtmorethanheknows, singleguy, tryingTOsaveMYmarriage, Keesley, recovering_dad,

Prayers Answered: Lupolady(air conditioner), Steadfastandcommitted (first string again), cry2much(sucessful surgery), Movingonwithlife(Wife coming home), WGTT(accepted into mentor program), betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery), Againstthewind (Got job), Free (Marriage Restoration begun ), cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me), Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.), Stillwaiting(Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened), Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man), janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS), tsc (marriage being restored), Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that “just LOVES me”), d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.), WGTT (WH coming home), GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it), hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation),</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Highlight of chapter 1 "His Wife"

My favorite Three-word prayer..."Change him, Lord." But the Lord's favorite three word prayer for you to utter is: "Change ME, Lord."

WHen you pray for your husband to change, you can surely expect changes. They'll be in YOU. God sees things we don't. He knows where we have room for improvement. He uncovers attitudes and habits that are outside His perfect will for us. This whole requirement is especially hard when you feel your husband has sinned against youw ith unkindness, lack of respect, indifference, irresponsibility, infidelity, abandonment, cruelty or abuse. But God considers the sins of unforgiveness, anger, hatred, self=pity, lovelessness, and revenge to be just as bad.

If you are angry with your H, tell God. Don't lit it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don't say, "I'm going to live my life and let him live his." Instead, confess the anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart towards him. When there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray you would enable that change to happen.

[i]Sometimes the best things you can do is not say anything, when all you want to do is talk, explain to him what he needs to do. If you do have words that are hard to hear, pray and ask God to give you the right moment and the right words to say so your H will recieve it. If your H is not a believer, you probably already know how much good it will do to keep talking to him. [i]

This is the prayer at end of chapter. You can use it or pray your own or use both.

Prayer

LORD, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one with Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good faithful, gentle and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart, and break down the wall with Your battering ram.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my H. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do -- totally and completely. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of sepaation where the realness of divorce begins.

Make me my H's helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and real support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud of to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my H from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept the way he is and not trry to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change.
Teach me how to pray for my H and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create a new love between us. Show me what unconcditional love really is and how to communicate it so that we can be in agreement. Bring unity between us so that we can be inagreement about everything. (Amos 3:3)

I pray that our committment to you and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as yOu made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and teach and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this m.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new passion, and new acceptance. Give my H a new wife, and let it be me.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

I wanted to share God's power with all of you. He has not resolved my M yet, but he has shown me some things this past week.

I was served the D papers on Friday and I not did not get bent out of shape. On Monday, my W asked me when I was going to sign them? I had just come back from my Bible session with my neighbor. I paryed an Our Father before my W started speaking and asked God to guide me. I told her I was not going to sign the papers. "Why?" Because I want to save the M. Then she changed the subject to want she wants fromt he D; "If you are a good man and father, you would want the kids to grow up in this house?" "I do want the kids to grow up in this house; I want you to be with them and me to be with them in this house." She then deiced to walk away saying that she felt we were going to argue. I told her I appreciated that very much and I told her that I still love her. "If you loved me, you would never have done the things you did." I replied, "Guilty as charged." This is something I would never have said; God was speaking and making me humble (something I am not normally).

Second thing.
In my signature below, I have a prayer I wrote about taking in what God puts before me. I have not said this prayer in a while. I said it on Monday morning, and when I left the house I saw a quarter-sized object floating in the air near my car. Looking closer it was a spider. In less than six hours it had built a very beautiful and intricate web between our tree and my car. I showed to my D and W and they were taken by it as well. My W asked me not to kill it. I told her I was going to back the car up so the web would fall gently to the ground.

On Sunday, I took the kids to church and after the Gospel, a deacon read his sermon. With the kids being somewhat loud, I only heard some of it. "Can we cure? NEVER. Can we help? RARELY. Can we listen? ALWAYS." I went up to the deacon after mass to ask him what he had been talking about? It was about counselling. I told him about the D papers and to pray for me and my F. He asked we were going to counselling? I told him we did but separate and that my W is not religious. I found out he is an MC. My MCs in the past were not of God. I have an appt with him tomorrow.

After mass, I was playing in the yard with my C, and my D saw a rainbow in the sky. This was only the seventh rainbow I had seen in my enire life. The first 3 rainbows I saw were all with my W.

Lastly, over the weekend, after a mildly heated arguement (by our experience) I stayed up later than usual to watch TV and clear my head. The movie "Ghost" was on. This was one of the first movies my W and I saw together when we were dating.

I feel God is showing me to fight the good fight (w/o LBing), BUT, to leave it in His hands.

Thanks for letting me share my experiences with you and keeping my F in your prayers, as you are all in mine.

God Bless you and you families,
TTSMM

PS I am looking to start a New Jersey MB group where we can meet and discuss our experiences and support eachother in a powerful, loving way. Please email me if you are interested.

Dear TTSMN,

God does speak to us through signs. I know he has to me during the whole time my WH and I have been separated.

Continue to work on yourself and go to MC. Your wife will see, but it will probably take some time. Way to go, controlling those LB's!

I haven't given up and it has been a whole year for me and things looked impossible, but I knew God was leading me toward reconciliation, not divorce.

For the first time in a year, my WH told me that he loves me and that he misses me and that he doesn't want a D, but isn't sure what he is going to do.

To all here,
So, please, everyone, the prayers are helping - don't stop now. Pray for my WH, Dan, and the restoration of our M and our family. Ask God to continue to show him the ugliness of his A and the path he has taken with OW and that it is never too late with God. WH wants so much to have his M and his family and friends, but feels trapped with OW. Please pray for God to give him strength and courage to do what he knows is right and return to his M.

S&C, where are you?

Thanks everyone.
Cajeanie

I would like to be added to the prayer group. I need prayer for my marriage and I need prayer for the damage that we have caused to our children in their early teens to this point in our lives that is being manifested now that they are young adults.

I will be praying for all of you. My heart goes out to you. As I read your hurts I can't help but to cry. I know your pain and frustration.