Sorry I’ve been gone, but it has been a remarkable week to say the least. Kind'a long but hopefully worth the read.

Weekend before last we went to a retreat with our church. It was the “BEST” retreat I had ever been to. I got to pray for the deliverance of someone’s emotional pain of 2 years and got to see it happen.

My W shared with the women in her group about her A and they prayed over her. The Holy Spirit was moving mightily that night. As we were worshiping and people were going forward to be prayed for, my W asked me to come close, she told me that it really is over between her and OM.

So I suggested that we set up a meeting with him to tell him together and in person to show that we were united in that decision. I know it is not MB principle, but since they still work together (she has been trying to transfer) and MB doesn’t really seem to address the issue in detail about how to handle a situation like where WS and OP still work together; I thought that this was the best way to handle it.

Later that night on the way home, she confessed that she lied to me about some silk flowers that were in her cubical at work. I had asked about them one day when I saw them. I really believed that the Holy Spirit told me that there was something about them (that they were from OM). Anyway she confessed that he had given them to her. So I asked if there were other stuff and she said there was. “Any in our house”, I asked? “Yes”. I told her we needed to gather them together along with anything else he had given her and return them when we met with him.

Monday morning she remembered something he gave to her years and years ago. It was a figurine of a ninja w/ a hand made rope on a grappling hook, sword, the whole nine yards. He had bought it on his honeymoon and later gave it to my W. I felt something wrong about it and told her that we weren’t giving it back, but destroying it instead. I thought “My gosh, that thing had been in our closet for years”. Normally she would have put it in her curio (sp) cabinet; but this one she hid it in out closet. It made me feel so uneasy.

While at work my W was gathering all the other stuff OM had given to her. He saw what she was gathering and asked her what was up. She told him that she was going to return the stuff but it would be given to him after work. . She said she tried not to talk to him regarding what the meeting was about (but she said he probably knew). He got pissed and took the stuff when she left her desk.

I picked her up at work; OM didn’t say a word to me. Pretended I wasn’t there. He usually put his hand out for me to shake. We met at a local park and my W told him “I want to work on my marriage and I release you”. (Not exactly what I thought she was going to say but none the less, he knew she wanted to work on the M.) So I stepped up and told him that there was going to be boundaries for them. As I started to lay them out he tried to put another wedge between us by saying; "her word wasn’t good enough for you". I told him “I wanted to make sure that all three of us knew what was unacceptable behavior between the two of them”. So I again started to lay them out. He tried to interrupt me a couple of times and then said that this conversation was over. I told him not until I’ve laid everything out. (He wasn‘t to pursue my W, give her any gifts, etc., etc., etc.) Then he said that he wasn’t part of the problem and asked me what I was going to do (regarding my M). I have to tell you; that really got me pissed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I told him that it wasn’t his place and he didn’t need to know what I was going to do. He asked me what I wanted him to say. I told him that I wanted him to tell me what he did was wrong and that he was not going to pursue my W any more. He asked again what I was going to do. So I told him “I have been working on me, to be a more Godly man, better H and father. I will not allow you to continue your part in the pain and destruction to my M and my family for the last two years; and if I find out you are still trying to destroy the M we are rebuilding, I am going to call your boss and start sexual harassment proceedings. It’s going to stop. Do you understand me?” He said “I guess everything has been said.” He tried to shake my hand as he was leaving and I told him “ I won’t do that any more”.

My W and I sat together in silence for a few seconds. I told my W that it didn’t go the way I wanted it to. Ask asked me how I expected it to go. And I told her. She then started to say something and stopped because she said I would say she’s defending him. I told her to go ahead and say it cause she was already thinking it. She said that he was only taking the position of a friend. I said “He is only looking out for what he wants. He didn’t want me to tell him about the boundaries because he wants to cross them. He is not your friend. If he were your friend he would be doing things to help our M along not destroy it." "Would a friend continue to give gifts and say the things he says that undermine our M?” She said “No they wouldn’t”.

Then I told her that the hard part was still to come, because that’s when she will need to make a decision. “He’s going to try to cross those boundaries and you are going to have to stop him. Because if you don’t he will think it’s ok it to continue to pursue you because you told him it was ok by not stopping him."

The next day she asked him something about prioritizing some projects and he pretty much old her to figure it out herself. (Yea!)

On to Thursday night. We went to a Family Life Marriage Conference last May and got a “Oneness Covenant”. A document that basically says that we will be committed to our M and do all the things that will keep it strong. Both of us were to voluntarily sign it in front of witnesses and frame it in our house somewhere. We’ve been to two of these conferences and have two of the “Oneness Covenants”, neither of them signed (she never wanted to). That night she crawled up next to me and said she had an idea, but didn’t know where it was. She wanted us to invite a couple we’ve been talking to (that knows everything) out to dinner Saturday night and for the both of us to sign that paper and have them witness it. Then she wants our son to see it and sign it to as a witness also. Is that cool or what?

Saturday night we are at this nice restaurant and my W takes out the Oneness Covenant and explains to them what we want to do. She signs it first, I sign it and they sign it and date it. Then my W said that she feels like we should say something. Then she says; “We’ve had a hard two years. I’ve seen the changes that have taken place in you. You are a wonderful man and I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you will have me. I love you.” Then I said; “W, I love you. I have always loved you. I never forsake you and always honor you. Yes, I will have you. Our future will be unbelievable.” Then we ate a marvelous dinner.

After we got home and were cuddling in bed, I said: “I’ve been afraid to ask this question for a long time because I wasn’t sure what you’d say but now, I want to know if you wanted to renew our wedding vows?” She started to cry and said “Yes”. Then she started to make plans already about how we could have our pastor do the service. She said when we got married nearly 20 years ago it was by a minister we didn’t know, in church we didn’t attend. This time she wants to do it in front of our church congregation.

So what do ya’ll think? Has God been faithful or what? Is this truly the work of God?

I also think it close to introducing her to MB. She told me the night of the retreat that she didn’t want to fail again. I told her there are things that can be done that will help us. We’ve started to talk about the EN Questionnaire and HNHN (the book she threw at me two years ago and told me I needed to read). She said she never read through the whole thing.

Now come the part I have mixed emotions about. I will need to spend time away from MB for a while, which means, I will stop doing the men’s portion of the “Restoration of Marriages Prayer Group” thread.

Each one of your prayers has meant so much to me. Not one of them has gone unheard by the Father. Lupolady and stillwaiting your unwavering faith has been an inspiration to me. Cajunky, I know you’re out there, your idea to start this thread, your commitment to God and your sage advice will be a reminder to me always to never quit.

If your name is on the list to be prayed for, I want you to know how important you have been to the restoration of my M. Thank you all so much.

Of course, if I could actually leave MB forever; here are my closing thoughts for all of you. I will say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the single most important thing I have done to restore my M has been to really truly make my relationship with God the MOST IMPORTANT THING. Above my W, above my M, above my job, above everything…. I could never have made it this far w/o the comfort given to me by my "Daddy" Make your relationship with God “intimate”. Allow Him to love you radically. Get to know His heart and His will. It is so refreshing and freeing.

Thank you again to everyone on the Prayer Request forum. I will continue to pray for you all every Wed. (and when prompted). E-mail me if any of you ever want to; my address is sandc_mb@hotmail.com.

S&C <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

S&C,

I really don't know what to say. I just finished reading your post and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you. It truly is WONDERFUL to see God working in your life.

You have given me encouraging words in the past and I thank you so much for them. May God keep blessing you. Prayer definitely works! and I will NOT give up on my Marriage.

Thank you and the best of luck to you and your wife!

H98

Dear S&C,
What an awesome testimony!!!! Isn't that what it's all about- victory!!! You have touched a lot of hearts with what you have said and done. Please tell your wife that I,for one am so proud of her. May you and your wife quickly exceed everything you had before. And may the two of you become a testimony to your church, your family, your friends, and to even the world. God Bless You Both!!!! Halleluyah!!!! You go do what you have to do!!
singleguy

Wow, thank you for sharing. I have not been here too long so did not know your story. I truly pray that God blesses your new, restored marriage! It is obvious that He has worked in both your lives! God bless!

<small>[ June 12, 2004, 05:37 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Hello S&C,
Just a happy note for your Wife and You! God Bless you both! I am sure all of the Mber's will continue prayers for both of you.
Your note to us gave me more hope then you know. I have not heard from my WH in months but I know with all of your prayers and God's will, WH will call or come soon.
Divorce court is coming up soon again, but in NY State I can refuse to sign the papers.
Should I refuse? I waiver at times and I do know I should trust in God 100% - must be the devil getting in here at times. WH writes only my intials and last name on support checks and envelopes which gets me down as I mean nothing to him. Guess that is where I lost it this week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I will be praying for you & wife. God Bless you all.

Dear LNC,
Don't sign those papers. Don't give up to the devil what is yours. Sometimes grief and hurt cause us to want to give up and in. DON"T. We want you giving your praise report too. Reread s&c's line about how his wife thru the hnhn book at him and told him HE should read it. The devil has your h deceived, but he doesn't OWN him. STAND if you really love him. Has God ever given up on us?
God Bless
singleguy

S&C,

All glory and honor to our Father!

I am so happy for you and will miss you more than you know around here.

Please remember me and my WH, Dan in your prayers - something is happening to him and I thank you so much for all you sage advise and your prayers. We will not forget to pray for you and your W, either.

God Bless. Cajeanie

Hello Singleguy,
Thankyou for your kind words. I do at times feel like giving up, but seem to pull it back together
somehow. Isn't it funny how we go about thinking good thoughts and then all of a sudden
bad ones creep in? I know this is the devil and oh my how cunning.
I do love my Wh with all my heart! I just feel at times by not signing the papers I am forcing him to do what he does not want to do. See in NY State if I do not agree to the Divorce then nothing is split up nor can he have anything of his. This only made me feel unfair.? Or is it the devil pushing my thoughts around?
Gosh it is hard to try to do it God's way when we are not so sure of how he would do it. Well atleast I do have an advantage compared to many of you on here and do not have to give him a Divorce. I think it should be this way in all other States also. Why should only one person have the say?
My heart goes out to all of you. Somenights are the saddest. It is hard to just hold in here as many stories break my heart.
I am still standing and it has been 16 months now. Things are hard, but I am sure God will see me through. I did finally get my Workers Comp checks all at once this week so hurray all the bills are finally caught up! God is good! God Bless you and Thanks again.

Thank you all for the kind words. I’ll still be coming around but not like before. I'z got to know what I need to be praying about don’t I?

singleguy - looking forward to the day I’ll see the name change to “marriedguy”. I think I remember you said that you are praying for the woman that will be your W. You keep at it and keep lifting her up (whoever she is). What better time to pray for your W than right now, even if you haven’t met her yet.

LoveMyEx – “Speechless”? Didn’t know that could happen. May God’s blessings rain upon your life and the Holy Spirit lead you on the steps you need to take to receive His promises. Bless you.

LoveNcare – Even though I came within a hair of plan B, I’ve never felt like God wanted me to let go. But I will tell you that He had given me the strength and peace to let go. I’m not suggesting that you do sign the papers (this will be between you and God). I do think that He will give you peace about signing them should it come to that. Satan will continue to manipulate your H. If you haven’t; concentrate your prayers on your H’s relationship w/ God, not the M or him coming home. If his relationship gets better the other stuff would probably follow suit.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Somenights are the saddest. It is hard to just hold in here as many stories break my heart. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is the heart of a prayer warrior. God so loves to hear from those whose hearts are stirred. Blessing to you.

Cajeanie – Yes, all glory and honor to our Father! Great to know you see something moving in Dan’s life. The little victories give us hope for the larger ones. Thank you for your continued prayers. You will also remain in mine.

Love in Christ.

S&C <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ September 24, 2003, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]</small>

Thank you STeadfast and committed, your words are really helping me today. God is working, because I have been struggling with my marriage to get back on track. If you could share what you used to keep patience I would greatly appreciate. I love my wife more than I ever have, but she is not where I would like her to be. Thank you again.

Hi LNC!!!
Yes, the devil is trying to make you feel guilty by your thinking that you are inconveniencing your spouse from moving on. He is trying to put the blame on you. Don't receive it!!!! Seven years ago I wimped out and let my wife have her way. She refused counseling and everything else. She made me feel that if I held things up, I should feel guilty. Two months after the divorce, a counselor told me that I had the right to request counseling for both of us and then if she still wanted out, the divorce would be finalized. He said that he saved about 20% of the marriages when the couple was forced by court order to his counseling. I should have done that. Today seven years later, I feel That I did absolutely nothing as far as trying to save the marriage. Even if it still ended in divorce, I would have felt I tried. So if you love him, fight for your God given covenant. You will thank yourself, regardless of the outcome. But My hope is that he wakes up and comes home to the woman God created for him.
God Bless
singleguy

Hi Singleguy,

Has your wife remarried?

Wonderful news! Know that it must have been a long road to travel. Glad to hear it's working out. Prayer definitely works!

I'm praying that my M will work out as well. There have been small signs lately from my WH that he is trying to end his A. Hope he follows the path that your wife chose, but I would appreciate it if it would happen a little sooner than 2 years. Don't know how long I can hold on.

Good luck in your M. Keep your thoughts heavenly!

LMX and S&C,
My ex has been living with another guy for four and a half years in another state. She was with another guy for three years before that. But I must admit that my spirit was stirred by your posts. Not to her neccessarily, but when a person has two powerful Christians like the two of you praying, God is going to do something!!!! I will do what ever I am told. I may hesitate for a second, but I WILL be obedient to what He tells me to do. All I ask is that He make it as plain as day for me. I have not been with a woman in that seven years, which some may think foolish, but I know that whoever my wife will be, even if it's my ex, that God will restore and make up for those years.I have lived to be an example to my children and my community. God says He will honor that. I believe Him!!! Job was blessed the second time even more than the first when he prayed for his friends, or in other words, became an intercessor. That's what I have tryed to be by lifting others up and encouraging them. I know I'm called to the marriage ministry in some way.
Thank you for asking about my situation. I feel that you have been lifting me up in prayer and I am thankful for that. May God richly bless you both.
God Bless
singleguy

Dear Steadfast,

I was pretty in awe about your story. The Lord has truly worked a miracle for your marriage. I am also in awe of how well you protected your wife and marriage in how you intereacted with the OM in your story. I will pray that He woks similar wonders in my situation and that He gives me continued hope and patience that God does things in his time, when He knows the time is right.

Gregg

Just here again for my daily motivation. We talked last night about things and she did share that the marriage is not over but she needed time to get over the anger and resentment. It is truly hard once you have realized the damage. I hope and pray that she will get over the past and start to live a new life with me. Thank you again for all of your support.

Hello S&C and Singleguy,
Thank you both so much for your inspiring words. You have no idea what they have done for me!
Everytime I do think of going forward a voice comes in my head and tells me no. I am sure this will be a nasty fight but I have seen the end and it can work. I also have been totally by myself for 1 1/2 years now! I am so far from everyone, but I do love the country - just hate the winters! I am alone, but not really as God walks with me! Praise his name.
Hope all will join us on Wed for another Great Day with God and all the Standers. God Love you all!

Dear LMX and S&C,
I wanted to in form both of you that the other day I listed a prayer for God to send the right girl into my life on rejoiceministries.org. Charlyne emailed me back and and asked questions about my original wife, like is she remarried. I asked my son last nite and he said she is not. But she has been living with this guy for 4 1/2 years. And another guy for 2 1/2 before that. Charlyne feels I really need to pray about restoration and gave me some sciptures to read. I have decided to consider it because I have such a deep respect for Charlyne. Last nite I prayed and told God I would do whatever He asked me to do, but it would have to be crystal clear to me, like a brick on the head. Would you lift this up in prayer and ask God to give me direction? Maybe a soft brick!!! What's funny is that I have totally forgiven her and have no bitterness or anger towards her. I actually have a good time with her at bdays and such. But i know God has a plan and my plan needs to match His plan for me to have a happy marriage. His will be done.
God Bless
singleguy

Hi Singleguy,

First of all... you know that I have asked about your wife, but have not yet said anything about it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But, I did have some thoughts when you said she had not remarried.

Before I go on, let me add that I am so envious that you received a personal response from Charlyne! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Okay, I confess my envy, and moving on... let me add, that I have always sensed a strong faith in the Lord/knowledge of the Lord in you... it is evident in your words.

Now... to the good stuff <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ... reconciliation.

The fact that you are considering her counsel to pray about recocniliation after 7 years of separtion from your wife definitely shows a willingness to follow whatever God's will is. Whatever the future holds, God will certainly honor that.

I will remember this in prayer and pray that the Lord will make His will very, very evident and unmistakeable to you (maybe send you a Hope Bear. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

You said, "i know God has a plan and my plan needs to match His plan for me to have a happy marriage. His will be done."

Yes, your plan needs to "match" his plan for any success in any area of life. In all things, even the ones that seem illogical or impossible, God wants our willingness and submission that says to Him, "You alone are God... may it be done according to your will."

I believe that Charlyne is filled with much insight and wisdom. I know that she is very knowledgeable of the Word of God and it seems to be evident in her life that she is a doer of the Word and not a hearer only. I also believe that she and her husband are people who pray. The Lord never fails to speak to me or touch me through the words in the devotionals that Charlyne and Bob send. So, any counsel she gives, I believe is "annointed" and I believe you are wise to prayerfully consider it.

God bless and I will pray specifically for this. Actually, I had not yet said anything to you, but I have had thoughts of wanting to encourage you to be open to reconciliation with your wife (since she has not remarried)... that is why I asked if she was remarried. In your last post to us, you said you were "stirred" and it was the first I have seen you talk about your wife. I had not seen anything you ever said about your wife until finally I asked, but even then, it was little until this last one where you said you were stirred and now, you have written another one after having received Charlyne's advice to pray about reconciliation.

As I ponder all of this, I can't help but think that God has perhaps been speaking to you.

The Bible says we need to test all spirits to make sure it's God and not just our emotions (or demonic), so do that. Examine this all in the light of God's Word and with much prayer.

I'll stop here, but I have to add that my heart jumped when I read what you wrote! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LMX,
First let me say that I am thankful to God for you. You are a blessing to me!! I respect and honor whatever you tell me. And I am fully open to accepting wise council and ACTING upon it. When I was still single, my mom, grandma, and aunt would pray that God would bring me the right girl. When I met Barb, we fell madly in love. But satan knew our weaknesses and as the priest of the home, I failed to take action. I had the authority of Jesus name, but focused on myself and ignored my responsibilities. I will not do that again!!! I have no problem admitting that I still love her. I have no problem admitting that adultery hurts like you can't believe. But I've talked about how when something changes permanantly, it must be put under immense pressure, and that is what God sometimes has to do to us. Like sand into glass, or iron ore into steel. Yes, the pressure is intense, but the change also is then permanant!!

If we really value what Jesus did on the cross, and understand and hold precious the forgiveness He extended to us. Then we also can easily forgive , because we know how valuable forgiveness is. But if the meaning of what took place on the cross is not understood, or we do not cherish it, then we ourselves cannot extend forgiveness. That old selfish nature is still in us. John Hagee says " If Jesus is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all ".

Yesterday I shared with the gal who cuts my hair what I have shared with you. She knew Barb and almost started to cry when I told her. She said that would be the neatest thing she had seen in a long time and would do more for witnessing to other couples in trouble than all the preaching you could give them. And with marriage in such trouble today. Sometimes the things we go thru are strictly for the " glory of God " to be demonstrated in us. It is a test of our faith!! But God is still in control, WE just need to trust that!!
My heart is soft and it is open. May only God speak to me. May every other voice be bound off of me. I WILL obey what God tells me to do. May He be speaking to her heart too and put a heart of repentence in her as well, not to condemn her, but that so God can make her into the woman HE wants her to be. God, give me wisdom!! In Jesus name.
singleguy