<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I don't know how much more I can take.I believe in working all the possibilities before walking out on a marriage.(that's my opinion)My husband had an affair just this year.He left me for the ow and is now back home for 6 months now.He never admitted to the affair and until today has not apoligized.I'm not sure if I love him deeply or am attached to him b/c he is my only partner.Divorce is not an option for me but I am afraid of living the rest of my life in pain expecting him to change.Our marriage is not the same ever since it happened.It feels like I am walking on eggshells everday and that is not how you should live but I aslo feel that if I want to be with him than I should take what comes my way.I never really got any closure b/c he is still friends with the ow.Is it possible for him to fall in love with me all over again?My mind and heart can't take it anymore.Do you think if he didn't love the ow he wouln't of left.How do I get my H to be honest once and for all.I want to know if he is still living in the affair...

Swtmarie,

I don't know if I can help you, but I certainly can identifiy with you. My husband had an affair with a church friend of ours. (She and I had been childhood friends.) One night after we had returned home from church and had already gone to bed, (this is what I believe), the Holy Spirit impressed or let me know or whatever you want to call it, that they were having an affair.
My days at work rotate and I work 12 hour shifts, so I was only at church every other Sunday and Wednesday. Her husband was there every week. He didn't believe that it was true.

That was in 1995. He doesn't tell me that he loves me. I can't remember the last time he kissed me. If I were someone else looking at us I would think that he inflicts mental cruelty on me. He didn't confess to the affair either until he thought that I had followed them and that they had been caught. I bluffed.

Over the years I have prayed for the other woman and her marriage, believing what the Bible says about those that desiptefully use you/your enemies. I have prayed alot for God to give me the kind of love that a wife should have for her husband. Sometimes it amazes me, the feelings that I have for him. Is love and attachment not interchangable in marriage? I loved him so I fought for him. I do mean fought! Spiritually and otherwise. I live with the hope that God can and does change people and someday I will have the kind of fufilling marriage that God intended for me to have.

Don't give up. If you still love him and divorce is not an option then believe that God is big enough to do whatever it takes for you!!!

swtmarie,
I pray that The Holy Spirit will guide you and your H through this trying time.

We pray and fast every Wed for the restoration of our M's and lives. If you want to be added to the Weekly Restoration Forum, let me know.

God Bless you and your family,
TTSMM