I've never posted to PR board before.
So, Hello and thanks to you all who read my post.

I've been feeling really down lately. Unusually so. I'm really afraid about my job. I just can't make myself work. I'm trying to stay off of MB at work, but I just end up wasting time some other way. I was sitting in my office this afternoon almost at the point of tears. That's just not my normal self.

I would very much appreciate your prayers.

A brief history...

My W and I have been married almost 5 years and have a 3-year-old. W doesn't love me - says she never did - moved out about 2 1/2 years ago. I lost my job a month later - just couldn't work. I was out of work for a year. She had an affair (really has been going on as EA for our entire marriage.) After I was back at work, I bought a new house and we have been back together for about a year now. Even when we were "separated", I spent half my nights at her appt - so we never were really all that separated. It's 1st marriage for both of us, but I'm much older than she is.

I can't imagine how hard it would be to find a job if I lose my job a second time for poor performance. It's tough enough after 40 in my industry without such a record.

Please pray that I will be disciplined in my work and will find a way to be productive.

Thanks,
-AD

You are in my prayers right now.

Also, if you want to make it impossible to get to this site from at work you might try this.

If you are running windows you probably have a hosts file, in Windows XP I believe it is in C:\i386\hosts

Place a line like this in there

127.0.0.1 www.marriagebuilders.com

This may cause your machine to no longer find the real internet address of the website

Think of this file as little black book. If you want to call www.marriagebuilders.com you can look the number up in your little black book.

If you don't have the number, your computer can call another computer (directory assistance) and get the number.

By putting in the fake phone number, your computer may think it has the number, but when you call it, nobody answers.

Of course, if your IT shop is using a proxy, this won't help much, and you will need to find another method. Perhaps they can block access to the site.

But since this is a prayer requests board, I'll pray for you tonight.

javaContour
IT/Internet/Car Geek

AD.,
I will add you to our weekly prayers.

I know how difficult it is to concentrate at work when you are thinking about your M. I spend at least an hour of work time every day on the MB boards. My W served me papers and I don't want a D. I am the WS in this but the fog lifted over 5 years ago. Is it right to spend that much time? Not really, but I feel I must be in action. When my co-workers take their smoke break, I walk around the bldg reading some Scripture. The whole situ does preoccupy my mind, and I try to go the extra ten miles when my mind is not on my M.

This may seem all garbled, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go online.

May God, give you His Peace and Love at this time. May He guide you in making the right choices, both in your work life as well as your marriage. AMen.

TTSMM

I pray for strength every day to get through this "recovery" and I will add you to my prayers also. My job is self-motivating (real estate), so for the past three months since my H's Affair, I have not brought in any income, as I can't be "perky" and "happy" with the public as I always have been. Can't concentrate on anything until just the past two weeks, when I decided that if the marriage didn't work out entirely, I'd also have lost my livelihood, so I'd better get my butt in gear and get motivated. What I do you might try: I make a list each morning or even the night before of all the things I want to accomlish the next workday, and just keep my eye on that list all day long until everything is done. If anything's left over to be done, I add it to the list for the next day. It keeps my mind on my work and not on my H all day long. He works with the OW still, so that's always on my mind, although he's been saying there's NC for two months now, and I tend to want to believe him or I'll go crazy. You already know how bad you felt the first time this happened, so keep remembering that, and you won't repeat the same mistakes. Good luck today...be productive, and have a happy day!

AD

I will pray for your health and happiness, and for your success at work.

I will also pray that you get the loving, supportive relationship that you need and deserve. I have seen the kind advice that you give others on these boards, and you deserve no less than kindness in return.

Remember--nothing is impossible with God.

All best,
Jo

jojojo, you are so right! Nothing is impossible with God!!! It's something that we all have to remember, especially during tumultuous times like these.

AD., I will pray for you. It is extremely difficult to function and get through each day when you can't think straight. Try to eat right, exercise and get some sleep. (I know I say that and I can't do any of those things, but you need to hear it anyway.) God's love be with you!
Suebee

I did say a prayer for you this AM AD.

The correct hosts file is in this folder

C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc

The one I mentioned above is just an example

It does work if you are looking for a way to block access to particular websites.

It also does a pretty good job of making banner ads and pop-ups go away if you put the addresses of those sites that serve up the actual ads <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

HTH,

javaContour

how are you doing today, AD.?

JavaContours, TTSMM, Siesta, jojojo, Suebee,

Thank you all for your prayers and concern.

And to jojojo, an extra thanks for the kind comments.

And to JavaContours, thanks for the suggestion using the hosts file for blocking. We use a proxy server, so I don't know if it would help, but I'll try it if my current method breaks down. The problem is, I know how to undo it - and in a moment of weakness, will do so.

I've been staying off of MB from work pretty well this week. I used the "Content Advisor" mechanism in IE to block out MB from my work computer. The trick is forgetting the password. This time, I think I've managed to do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My wife and I have had a better week too - less conflict. Today was actually a pretty good day.

As for work, I'm beginning to make a little progress - although it is becoming plain to my group that I'm not accomplishing much. So far, I've had no hard reprocussions of that, but I've got to get it turned around soon. But, it is a bit better already.

Again, thanks so much to each of you for your prayers, concern, encouragment and helpful hints.

-AD

Update:

Thanks again for your prayers. It's still very slow-going, but I'm doing a little bit better at work. I've stayed off of MB, but I find other ways to "escape" from working - mostly shopping on the web. I'm trying to keep that in check.

Things at home have been up and down - but better right now.

An observation...
I think Harley is right about conflict being better than withdrawal. It seems like there is a cycle - a good cycle - but not always recognized as that. Coming from withdrawal, the conflict seems unpleasant, but after a little rest it produces some mutual understanding which leads toward intimacy.

-AD

<small>[ October 18, 2003, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: AD. ]</small>

I'm bumping myself up.

As of today, I'm on notice. Get it done by the 14th, or I'm out.

I'm sure I can do it.

But... It's still going to be a long road even after that. I have to get myself back up to 100%.

Please pray for me.

-AD

Dear AD, I am praying for you right now, for the Lord to divinely intervene in your situation and instill dedication and focus in your life. God will see you through this AD; when you feel like you're slipping call out to Jesus and ask Him to direct all your paths and turn your heart the way He wants it. May God bless you abundantly,

AW

Thank you A.W.

I've had a good 3 or 4 days. My boss seems satisified (he said "wow"). But, I've got to get the VP's approval. I've got to stay focused.

-AD

Just an update...

I made it. Thanks to all who prayed for me. I'm still employed - and stragely enough, being put on notice really helped me get out of my funk and get going. I think I'm on track now. I just need to keep pumping it up.

Things at home have gone for a bad spin however...
W confessed to another PA event with OM with in the last few weeks - after 2 years. She still adamently says that she doesn't want a divorce. She seems to be "working on it", but she's real shakey right now, so I'm not pushing her. I think she could go over the edge pretty easily.

So... if you've a mind to... please continue to remember us in your prayers.

-AD

My Dear Bother AD.,
You are in my prayers. Congrats on work. I know it is diificult to concentrate on work when things around you seem to be falling apart. I say seem, because, as a Child of God, He has His Perfect reasons for our sufferings.

Father, give comfort to Your faithful son, AD. As Your ways are not our ways, grant him acceptance, if not understanding, in the trials he is going through. Send the Holy Spirit to him to guide him in his actions at work so he does not jeopardize his family financially. Protect him by the Power of the Cross, which Your Son, our Lord and Savior, died on for our sins. Amen.

God Bless,
TTSMM

TTSMM,

Thanks.