Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another for resolution to marriages and our lives. Every Wed. we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matt 18:20.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: {130 Prayer Warriors and counting}
cajunky . Ezra . Willgetthruthis . Godisincontrol . Natasha79 . JohnC . NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done . Wallace . relady . steadfast and committed . morriggs . lupolady . stillwaiting . Broken Hearted . PasDeDeux . hopeful_person . GinnyF . justpeachy . cry2much . SNL . LostAgain (Dave&April) . Dodger . gloriachu . LoveNcare . JMF . WEN . NiteHawk . Absurd . LetSTry . AgainsttheWind . cemmerson . getting better . kellidiane . Terrified . BeeLee . idostylin . Resilient . thiscantbehappening . day by day . Jloves . broken x3 . Sue with Hope . sunrise1 . shepette . Malc . Faithfulwife . timbo-e . Angelia . FeelingAllAlone . broken_joe . dopey . awake . truly a friend . Is it to late . stilltryingtosaveit . landslide . GODBLESSU . vega . LoyalWarrior . janna-m-r . ferbie . epiphOny . simmy . cajeanie . d_rose . lost_lonely . briank4775 . mayflower . Caged_Bird . LunaDove . goldielocks109 . darwud . Mrs. Darwud . Zuzus Petals . adamv . Army Hubby . Gail (mojodiva) & Shane . bonnie five & H . TryingToKeepHope . Hopeful98 . lghoping . SoTired (Mike & Trish) . evega . Douglas and Kirsi Nielson . Jessicafl27 . kimmy2 . auntielala . weezy8550 . miserynmissouri . STBXWife . sealfan . Jen Brown . SMIAJ . cinderella . GreggC . trying_to_accept . solon . serenitydipity . ilia . lonejrock . anchorhugger . Prayer & Patience . Chikar . Alex6 . Hopeforamiracle . fishlady . rookie . Made A Mess of Things . *DeepSigh* . boden . new comittment . deeplyhurting . jeff15679 . Bob Castaldi . k57mo . skottyjay (Scott and Melody) . TROD (Tony and Julie) . thisso . ladysheep . hurtmorethanheknows . singleguy . tryingTOsaveMYmarraige . Keesley . recovering_dad . Terrianna . javaContour . BH . Cheryls .
cherry log . AD. .

Prayers Answered: Most current first.
Steadfastandcommitted (wife is back and we are planning to renew our wedding vows in our church) . tryingTOsaveMYmarraige (D is interested in the Christian music I am listening to and asks a lot about God) . hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation) . GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it) . WGTT (WH coming home) . d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.) . Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that “just LOVES me”) . tsc (marriage being restored) . janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man) . Stillwaiting (Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened) . Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.) . cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me) . Free (Marriage Restoration begun ) . Againstthewind (Got job) . betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery) . WGTT (accepted into mentor program) . Movingonwithlife (Wife coming home) . cry2much(sucessful surgery) . Steadfastandcommitted (first string again) . Lupolady (air conditioner) .

What Does God Expect Of A Man?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Strength of Character
What must a man do to develop bulging biceps and perfect pectorals? It takes a lot of exercise, to be sure, as well as the right kind of diet. As the saying goes, "No pain, no gain." Strength of character doesn't come automatically either. It is developed over time as a person exercises wisdom in following God's will. It comes as a man feeds on a steady diet of God's Word and follows His training program.

The apostle Paul used the analogy of athletics when he wrote to the believers in Corinth. He said, "And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. . . . Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (1 Cor. 9:25-27). And Paul told Timothy, "exercise yourself rather to godliness" (1 Tim. 4:7).

What is strength of character? We've already hinted that to some extent it can be equated with godliness or spiritual maturity. It is that--and much more. But first we need to define character. D. L. Moody said, "Character is what you are in the dark." That's true. Character is what you are really like, not the coverup that you allow others to see. Character is what guides your actions and produces the words you speak. Character is your unique identity, the sum total of your individual characteristics.

Character can be good or bad. Strength of character refers to strong, good character. A person strong in character is someone who stands for what is right, who has the "backbone" to express and live out his convictions. And those qualities are part of what God expects of a man.

So when we talk about "strength of character" as something that God expects of a man, we are talking about the qualities of godliness and spiritual maturity, a consistency of character that reflects a proper self-image, and a life that expresses the character qualities that God wants to develop in every man.

What produces strong character?
> Self-confidence--which comes from being at peace with God and knowing who we are in Christ (Rom. 5:1; Eph. 1,2).
> Consistency (Eph. 2:10; Phil. 3:16; Titus 2:12-14; James 2:14-26).
> Training (Phil. 2:12; 3:12-14; 1 Tim. 4:7).
> Right priorities (Mt. 6:33; 1 Sam. 13:13-14).
> Following the right example (1 Cor. 11:1; Heb. 12:1-3; 13:7; 1 Pet. 2:21).
> Obedience to God's commands (1 John 2:5).
> A steady diet of God's Word (1 Pet. 2:2).
> Relying on the strength of the Spirit (Gal. 5:16-25; Eph. 5:18; Phil. 4:13).
> Right choices--living out the Christian faith, doing what is right no matter what (James 2:14-26).
> Trusting and depending on God (Prov. 3:5,6).
> Learning from others (Eph. 4:7-16).

What are some strong character qualities? A concise list of qualities that are desirable in a man is found in 1 Timothy 3. Although the apostle Paul outlined these character qualities for the purpose of selecting those who were qualified to be church leaders, the characteristics describe what God is looking for in all men. As you read through the list, you will see that they describe character traits and not intellectual ability, education, seminary training, or pulpit expertise. All men should be striving toward these qualities.
Let's look briefly at the characteristics given in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and apply them in a broader sense to all men.

1. Blameless. God expects men to be above reproach. This is an all-inclusive term that summarizes all the qualities described in 1 Timothy 3. It means that a man must have a pattern of life that is consistent with biblical standards.

2. Husband of one wife. A married man must be faithful to his wife. He keeps his marriage vows and does not toy with any type of sexual immorality. Literally "a one-woman man," this qualification has a broader possible meaning that a man is not to be a "womanizer" or a flirt. His heart is not to be afire with lust (Matt. 5:27,28).

3. Temperate. Gene Getz has stated that "a man who is temperate does not lose his physical, psychological, and spiritual orientation. He remains stable and steadfast, and his thinking is clear." Such a man is balanced in his living, not given to destructive extremes.

4. Soberminded. This term is closely related to the term temperate. It refers to the quality of being sensible in thinking and actions, exhibiting sound judgment.

5. Of good behavior. A man should be respectable and honorable in his actions.

6. Hospitable. The Greek term behind this word literally means "loving strangers." In a general sense, this term refers to friendliness and a willingness to help those in need.

7. Able to teach. This characteristic carries two possible meanings. It may mean that a man should have the ability to instruct others about the Christian faith. Or it could mean that a man is to be "teachable." If we combine these two elements, the term refers to an ability to teach others without arrogance.

8. Not given to wine. A man of God is not one who is controlled by alcohol (Eph. 5:18). In our day and age, this could be applied to illegal drugs as well. God does not want us to abuse our bodies or cloud our minds.

9. Not violent. The Greek word literally means "not a striker." Temper tantrums do not please God. This includes both violent actions and words.

10. Gentle. A God-honoring man, according to this term, would be gracious, kind, forbearing, and considerate of others.

11. Not quarrelsome. A man is not to be one who is always looking for an argument or stirring up trouble.

12. Not greedy for money nor covetous. Acquiring money and possessions should not be a priority. Jesus and Paul warned against a preoccupation with money (Matt. 6:19-21; 1 Tim. 6:10).

13. Rules his own house well. The man is the head of the home. He is responsible to see that his relationship with his wife and children is good. He is to be a good manager of home life.

14. Having his children under submission. A father is to be a respected leader at home, a man who does all that is in his power to train and discipline his children.

15. Not a novice. A new believer who becomes a leader before he is mature in his faith and practice runs a risk of falling into pride. This is a warning that a man is not to take on responsibilities that he is not mature enough to handle. Men must guard themselves against pride.

16. Good testimony among those outside. A man must develop a good reputation with non-Christians. He is to have a consistent faith that will be a strong witness to unbelievers.

How did Jesus show strength of character?
> He showed compassion (Mark 1:40-42).
> He dared to speak the truth about sin and hypocrisy (Matt. 23; John 8:31-59).
> He hated sin but showed love for hurting sinners (John 8:1-11).
> He took time to pray (Matt. 14:23; Mark 14:32-42; John 17).
> He refused to yield to temptation--drawing strength from the Word of God (Matt. 4).
> He spoke out for God's honor (Matt. 21:12,13).
> He followed through on His commitments (John 12:23-33).
> He humbly served others (Matt. 20:28; John 13:1-17; Phil. 2:1-11).
> He had His priorities straight (Matt. 5--7).
> He was forgiving (Matt. 18:21-35; Luke 23:34).

How did other men in the Bible display strength of character? Though no man can measure up to Christ's perfection, several men in Scripture do display the type of character traits that all men are to develop in their lives. Here are some examples.

Noah. He was like a beacon of light in the darkness. In a decadent culture, he stood out as a righteous man, willing to obey the Lord and build a ship for 120 years (Gen. 6; Heb. 11:7).

Abraham. Even though he had seniority, he kept the peace by graciously giving Lot first choice of grazing land (Gen. 13).

Joseph. He fled sexual temptation because of his reverence for God (Gen. 39). When he had opportunity for revenge against his brothers, he instead showed compassion, forgiveness, and love (Gen. 42--45).

Moses. He chose to obey the Lord rather than live a life focused on pleasure (Heb. 11:24,25).

David. Even though he was wrongfully accused and relentlessly pursued by Saul, David showed respect for King Saul (1 Sam. 24).

Daniel. As a young man in exile, he would not compromise his standards (Dan. 1:8) nor hide his faith (6:10-23).

Boaz. He protected Ruth's safety and honor, and he assumed responsibility for her (Ruth 2--4).

Stephen. Other believers recognized that he was a man "of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom" (Acts 6:3,5).

Paul. He showed spiritual sensitivity to believers with weak consciences (1 Cor. 9:19-23), and he vigorously guarded his integrity (vv.24-27).

Barnabas. This faithful worker encouraged others (Acts 4:36; 11:23,24), and he took a risk by giving Mark a second chance (Acts 15:36-41).

Thinking It Over. Men, what are you doing to develop strength of character in your life? How do you measure up to the qualities listed in 1 Timothy 3:1-7? What can you do today and in the coming days to be more like Christ?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lord, may you show the men on this forum the qualities you want them to perfect. Give them the courage to make the changes needed in their life. Also, grant all of us gathered together, today, in Your Name to live by Your Laws and become the men and women You intend us to be. Shine You Love and Blessings upon our spouses to make decisions from their heart, and not the convenience lied to them by Satan (through their lawyers, friends, family, co-workers, therapists, and the “other person”). Bring those spouses who have yet to believe in You, closer to You.
We ask this of You, Our Father, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

TTSMM

P.S. Don’t worry Lady MBers, I have an article for all of you next week.

P.P.S. Look out for additional postings on a proposed "Monthly Restoration of Marriages Teleconference Call"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"His Finances"
Much of what your H is, and what he experiences in life is wrapped up in how he relates to his finances. Only when we recognize that all we have comes from God and seek to make Him Lord over it can we avoid the pitfalls that money, or the lack of it brings.

So many money problems can be solved by putting all finances under God's covering and doing what He says to do with them. God promises to deliver you, protect you. bless you, heal you, and keep you alive. When you don't, you will experience the same desolation the poor do. "Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard." (Proverb 21:13) Not giving cuts off your own ability to enjoy what you have and leads to lifelong difficulties.

To be sure, there are wealthy people who do not give. But if you were to check closely into their lives, you'd find that they are missing many of the Lord's blessings. The blessings of wholeness, protection, love, peace, health, and fulfillment continually elude them and they don't know why. They gain wealth but lose the ability to enjoy it, all becuase they don't know that the key to life is knowing the Lord and living His way. This means giving time, energy, love, talent, and finances according to His direction.

Pray that your H gets hold of this key to life and understands God's will for his finances. Pray that he becomes a giving person who is content to live within his means, and not always strive for more.

It may not be possible to use prayer to avoid every financial problem because sometimes God uses finances to get our attention and teach us things. But your prayers will certainly help protect your H from unnecessary struggle and loss. God's desire is to bless those who have obedient, grateful, and giving hearts, whose true treasure is in the Lord.

Prayer
Lord, I commit our finances to You. Be in charge of them and use them for Your purposes. May we both be good stewards of all that You give us, and walk in total agreement as to how it is to be dispensed. I pray that we will learn to live free if burdensome debt. Where we have not be been wise, bring restoration and give us guidance. Show me how I can help increase our finances and not decrease them unwisely. Help us to remember that all we have belongs to You, and to be grateful for it.

I pray that (husband's name) will find it easy to give to You and to others as You have instructed it in Your Word. Give him wisdom to handle money wisely. Help him make good decisions as to how he spends. Show him how to plan for the future. I pray that he will find the perfect balance between spending needlessly and being miserly. May he always be paid well for the work he does, and may his money not be stolen, lost, devoured, destroyed, or wasted. Multiply it so that what he makes will go a long way. I pray that he will not be anxious about finances, but will seek Your kingdom first, knowing that as he does, we will have all we need. (Luke 12:31)

Luke 12:29-31
Ecclesiastes 5:19
Phillipians 4:19
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Also, Cheryls has asked that we please add her to our prayer list. She will be remembered.

God Bless,

Friends,

I must apologize for dropping the ball last week on the prayer chapter. I have been experiencing a major amount of stress on my job, not spending much time on the boards. I have been having major stomach pains during sleep hours and after eating, and fear I have developed an ulcer. Please pray for peace and protection from unruly children and unreasonable colleagues(!)

Also, I am losing hope for restoration (I know, a common malady <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) & feel I need your prayers for "hanging in" just a little bit. I'm really struggling to even CARE any more what D(ex)H is going to do. While this may seem to be a good spot to be in, I also fear this means I am not being obedient to God and praying for H, who is (obviously) NOT in a "good place" in terms of being outside of God's will at this time.....yet I know I have been called to protectively pray for him during his season of disobedience.

God Bless all.

All,
Pray for me and my family today (W-Marie, D-Noelle, S-Stefan). Satan has infiltrated my W big time.
While having my weekly Bible reading session with my mentor, Marie calls my cell phone. She accuses me of taking the key to her lock box (contains all her legal papers and evidence for the D). I did not touch this box. My mentor cut our time a bit short because of this.
When I got home, she goes off on me about how I stole her key, but she had another one; she called her atty and told him what I did. That I took the picture of her bruised wrists from the box. Then she went off that I am lying, manipulative, sneaky, etc, ect.
She also was upset because I spoke to her father on the phone yesterday when he called. She told me I was not to speak to anyone in her family ever again. She tild her father never to speak to me.

I know God can perform miracles. Just see many of repostings on this category for that. My question and perhaps it is wrong to ask...Can that ultimate deceiver, Satan, perform "tricks" that defy the physical laws of nature; i.e., make the key to her lock box disappear when she sais it was securely taped to the box?
I know the deceiver wants me to contmeplate this so it destracts me from the Glory of God. It has not worked as he hoped. I am reading scripture after I finish this posting.

God help all of our spouses get to know you as we do. Amen.
TTSMM

Lupolady,

Thanks for posting and letting us know where you have been.

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering physically as well, now. I will pray for you.

There is no one here that I respect more. I think you can pray for your xh, and still find the peace to move on. That is what I am doing.

The only comfort I can give is to suggest that you to talk to God and ask him if it's time.

I am feeling very peaceful about my whole situation now. I had been praying for an answer, and God's answer to me was that it takes more courage and more faith to move on and to live our lives, than to hang on to the "old" dreams.

I was afraid to let go, but when I finally did, I felt tremendous peace in my heart.

I am praying for you - cajeanie

S&C,
I wanted to say thanks for all your help. I will check in here to pray for everyone, but I am moving on with my life.

It's been over a year now and whatever God has in mind for me, I trust in Him.

You have helped me grow so much as a Christian and as a person, and I will always remember that.

I will continue to pray for you and your W.
Cajeanie

Please keep praying for W and I to be reconciled. We have a court appearance next Wednesday, the 15th. I am praying the judge will see my W's emotional state and grant my request for her to relocate back to our home and for 6 months of counseling. Thanks and God bless!

Hi everyone,

Just checking in to say I'm praying with you and for you all.

lupolady,
I am sorry to hear what is going on. Please make sure you are taking time to see a doctor and heal. I hope that it isn't an ulcer, but maybe something less serious. I always have special prayers for you sweet lady.

TTSMM,
As you are probably aware, the enemy will react whenever someone starts to take a stand against him. And he knows how to push someone's buttons. Please keep yourself focused on your relationship with God and your W will see that you are no longer capable of the things she is accusing you of. Remember God see's the whole picture. And He allows things to happen for His glory. It's possible that the key just fell off and is hidden from your W for a while, just to have her find it later in her purse or somewhere else. Or the enemy has done something with it. But remember God can use any circumstance to the benefit of your M. If God has given you the vision of a restored marriage then have the faith of Abraham. Don't look at the circumstances, look at the promise. (This is for you too lupolady). Abraham was literally at the darkest moment; but believed until the end. He knew what God had promised and knew that God could resurrect Isaac even after his death. If he has given you a vision don't loose faith; never forget where He has brought you.

Cajeanie,
Good to hear what's happening. God's peace is a wonderful thing. Fyi - I'm not leaving MB, just concentrating on my R with God and my new R with my W. God is so faithful to the things that are good for us. Continue to put you trust in Him. Last night at bible study we went over Psalms 37. Verse 4 says; "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". It came down to this for me; my desire is that the Lord love me and take care of me and I do so in return. And I realized that God will never let anything happen to me that is ultimately bad for me. To trust Him to get me through the times that seem like they are bad, but really aren't.

Bless you all and thanks for your prayers.

Love in Christ.

S&C

<small>[ October 08, 2003, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]</small>

The roller coaster continues.

She comes back from her lawyer's and one minute she is talking about our daughter and how she (my W) has talked to the school counselor about our pending D. Next minute she is talking about a girl who keeps teasing our daughter and how she (my W) was "more than a charitable Christian" in how she reacted to this girl when she wrote all over our car seat. A few minutes later, she is talking about our daughter and how she can't be given wimpy Christian way of reacting to this girl. I immediately defended my faith. I told my W that it is not wimpy. "Turn the other cheek...", she said. I told that she was takng this out of context. If a person is asking for forgiveness and they are truly repenatant (sp), then you have to forgive them (God wants you to forgive them). If not, then you don't have to.
The topic changed very quickly. I know I said this for two reasons, one to defend my faith, the otehr to let her know that if someone is truly sorry (me for instance) that they should be forgiven.

Once more, Not my will, but Thy Will Be Done.

TTSMM

Hello Tryingtosavemymarriage,
This is my second try to reply to you! Devil is working hard! I included you again tonight in my prayers as I do all Mber's.
I can't find the article from a lawyer about the no No Fault States as I was sure Jersey was one of them. Guess the Devil took it off here! You may try standing up in court if it comes to that and asking for counseling and stating you do not agree to a Divorce and will not sign the papers, Constitutional Rights! Stand firm and let the court know this is not God's way nor your's. Is your W's Lawyer one used during your marriage for anything? If so, this is conflick of interest and it would dissolve any actions taken by him/her! My WH's Lawyer did things for us so this is my next move! God is good! This has to be stated in court. A Lawyer or anyone from that firm can't represent your W if you had them during your marriage for any legalities!
I am sorry for not getting back to your reply, but just saw this tonight.
May God Grant you the time to stall this Divorce and Restore your Marriage. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit Amen

LoveNcare,
Thank you for the advice, and more importantly, your prayers.

As for "No fault", she has me on adultery, which I hear is not grounds one minute but it is grounds next minute. Anyway, her lawyer (never used by either of us before) has her on the mental cruelty angle (road rage, punching a hole in the wall, grabbing her wrists). These are true, ALL OVER 5 YEARS AGO, however, she now has taken every blowup between us and calls it mental cruelty. If I don't do something she wants right a way, she calls her lawyer and adds it to "the list".
Ex: She complained because I forgot to flush the toilet (a bad habit in the past, but now I make user it is done - sometimes the plumbing doesn't flush it all). Anyway, she said she was going to call her lawyer beause I was endangering the health of 3 year S, who might put his hands into the toilet.

I am at work and she calls to find out if I was taking the kids to my brother's, in Cal, for Christmas, because he called last night. I told her that I had thought about us going for a vacation, but we could not afford it so I did not discuss it with her. She thinks I am being sneaky, etc. "Why would I want to do anything social with you?", she said.
I told not to call me at work anymore if she is going to badger me. She hung up.

I don't think I got loud, but....I did not handle this in a Christian way. I feel like I am walking on eggshells in everything I say or do. She was upset because she thought I was going to take the kids by mysefl. Then when I tell her that no we would all go, she gets upset because why would she want to go?

Now I am getting catty,and that was not my intention; I JUST NEED TO VENT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

GOD HELP ME, PLEASE <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
and all th eother MBers who are trying to save their marriages as well.

TTSMM

Hi Tryingtosavemymarriage,
So sorry you are having a bad day. I just look outside or go out and it changes that anxious feeling. I then say a prayer, take a deep breath and oh my I am new and ready to go again!
Your W sounds confused and only pushing issues to see your reaction. I feel she is testing you and HER FEELINGS! Tell her you are only a human man, you make mistakes, but are trying and end it with I forgive you for disliking me now and I love you now and will forever. Agree with her all the time it will throw her into next year!
I did find the site I was refering to lastnight before the good ole devil got into my puter and wiped it out! It is divorcemagazine.com The greatest site I have ever been in for information! When you go there top middle type in New Jersey then click on the ground rules! You may find all of this interesting! Does your W still reside with you? Sounds like she does need counseling and it is good for both. I pray that things go better for you and you find outlets to your divorce. Let me know how it is going.

LoveNcare,
Thank you again. Please goto I've Been Saying the Wrong Prayer for some inspiring words.

God Bless you.
TTSMM

Hello TTSMM,
Thank you as I really enjoyed the whole tread! I am Episcopalian and was raised in Church. I do not go as often as I used to. I am still on my knee's dailey. Some of the things happening in the Church pulled us back. I have gone to St. Mary's many times and feel like it is our old service.
I love the sharing of little signs you tell about. It is wonderful that God helps you at those times to see and answers you. I have had my prayers for money to pay bills answered and am all caught up. Still did not know how it happened, but did thank God!
Now to make you laugh! I only wish my WH had the guts you have had and would tell me what he has done and that he was sorry and loved me. I would flush the toilet for him!
God Bless you and your Family.