It will be 2 years in November that I found out my WH was having a PA and OC. We did not have children at the time. After I choose to stay and work on our marriage and try to forgive , I never really forgave anything and WH never stopped the affair. I am now a new mommy to my son born on Aug 24 of this year and my WH has now decided he doesnt want a relationship and is tired of living 2 seperate lives. He will be leaving our home this week. I have so much resentment towards him but yet I would do anything for him to stay. I am unemployed with a 7 week old to take care of.

Please pray that I learn to forgive, trust in the lord that everything will be ok and that my WH is forgiven for all the hurt he has caused.

I have started having suicidal thoughts again, I feel alone and lost, I am scared...

Why me?

((((((Jessica)))))) Like a mother and friend,I would hold you,let you put your head on my shoulder and cry,releasing some of the pain that is in your heart and mind and say a prayer for you.

I will be praying for you. kk

<small>[ October 14, 2003, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: kings kid ]</small>

Jessica - Please don't do anything rash. We are all here for you and we are your friends. No one here is going to judge you and our goal is to see you get well.

First of all, we need more info. Have there been any attempts at secular or church counseling? Have you checked out any of the materials available at MB?

Secondly, concentrate on the needs of your child. Will this child be better off with you gone? Of course not! Your kid needs Mommy.

I encourage you to get into the Bible and you will find rest and peace there. Start with the Book of John. Let me know what happens - I care.

Jessica, I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Having a 7-week-old is hard enough, let along having to worry about your marriage and job stuff. I can remember what I felt like when my children were that age. Total fatigue has set in and you don't have a husband there to relieve you.

I'm very concerned about you! Do you have parents, siblings, a best friend, neighbors, former co-workers who could help you out? Your baby needs you because it looks like "Daddy" isn't going to be around. Please, please get help from someone trusted. If you don't have someone close by that can help you, contact your church. If you don't belong to a church, just get out the yellow pages and call one close by. They will be willing to help you. YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE RIGHT NOW!!!

Just remember, your baby needs you. We are all here for you. Please post again and give us an update. I know it might be hard to do, but just a few words to let us know you're OK and if you have gotten some help.

God bless you. I will pray for you.

Jessicafl27,
Trust that God will not place anything upon you that He knows you cannot handle.

I had those same thoughts back in July. The members of MB helped me through a very difficult time as I was on the brink. You might want to read my posting, it is in my sig below.

Know that the people on this site care about you and are here for you as best we can with our prayers, love, and support. But, if you are feeling this way, seek out support right away from your church, community, friends, neighbors, family...and most importantly, from our Creator. He will not let you fall. Just reach out your hand to Him and say...

"Lord, I cannot do this alone. I am a sinner and I need your help. I am giving this over to you as Your Will be done in my life. Please help me, Your humble servant in this time of need."

...then look at your son and think about all the fantastic things, experiences, lessons, faith you WILL share with him as he grows. Think of that first day he goes to school; his first boo boo; his first picture, his first words; his first kiss, and many, many more. Think of all those firsts that God intended you to experience.

May you find peace, as only through God's Love is it promised.

God Bless,
TTSMM