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#343598 10/24/03 01:23 AM
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All,
First, please say a prayer for me. I really felt the blues tonight and got extremely tempted. I was cleaning up an old PC to setup for the kids and I came across chat logs and pics from five years ago when I was having cybersex and the affair. I was a very sick person at that time. I was pulled into to read and view this stuff, and I am happy to say that I did not get excited and give in to the tempatation. In fact some of things I read/saw made me sick. Yet it still gripped me. The files have been deleted and the drive is being defragged.
So I would appreciate a prayer that I don't venture down that road.

Over the past few weeks, there have been two books which I have been thinking about getting. One was by Philip Yancey "Rumors of Another World" (mostly for me to keep where my W would find it). The other one was by Rick Warren "The Purpose Driven Life". The other day I was in K-Mart and saw it on sale, and it drew me to it, so I picked it up.

What's interesting is it is a 40-day program. The number 40 has been coming up quite a bit for me: 40 years old and I have been Born Again; many signiificant events in the Bible take place between 40 years (i.e. Moses); CHrist 40 days in the desert, etc. Anyway, the book suggests that there is strength and power in doing the program with another person. So...if anyone is interested in doing this, answer this post and/or email me. I am going to start the program on this Monday and finish Friday, Dec 4th. You have to do the program for 40 days straight; no doing two chapters one day and then missing one day, etc.

Anyone up for it?

God Bless us all,
TTSMM

<small>[ October 24, 2003, 04:30 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

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Sorry about the recent "reminders." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I know that there are sins in my past that I have asked the Lord at times to give me amnesia to completely forget! Satan though likes to bring those things to our memories to remind us with both the hopes of condemning us and with the hopes of reeling us back in to that sin. But God is greater! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And the more we obey and walk near Him, the more repulsive sin becomes.

I have not yet read Purpose Driven Life but have almost bought it several times. It is supposed to really be good. Two churches in my area are corporately doing the 40 Day Challenge. I am hoping mine will do it soon! You might check out your area and see if any of your local churches are doing it.

I am not going to volunteer to do the book with you only because I think you should have a man do the program with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I think it's an awesome idea though!

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Trying,

I have started reading/doing exercises in the book. I would love to have an "accountability partner" to work thru this book with, but I have to agree with LovemtEx. I think it should be a "same-sex" partner.

Let me simply add that altho I am not very disciplined in doing a chapter a day,, as requested, I am still learning immense amounts of things about God and myself. This is the most intense, yet easily understood book about the nature of God and where I fit in it all, and what it all means that I have ever studied! It is well worth doing.

BTW - since I wasn't being very "disciplined" - or faithful in reading a complete chater a day, I wonder if God's timing in this broken arm thing isn't really a way to "put me down" so I will focus more and finish what I started! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

God bless,

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ttsmm, lmx, and lupo,
What if I go get the book, and we four would do it together? I will run out to K Mart and get the book over my noon hour. Also, are any of you interested in participating in a fast? On famtoday.com we are going to do one starting Nov 1st. There is a thread for it and you can list your loved ones, needs, etc.. Please join in. You can do whatever you feel the Good Lord leads you to do, as far as fasting. If you have questions, ask me. I will answer it.

God Bless
singleguy

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I bought the book.

singleguy

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What is the book about guys? Sounds interesting?

Do you all live in the same area? To be able to do this study "together" singleguy?

Diamonzzz

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All,
I live in NJ.
Here is my email address **edit**
Phone number - will get when you email me.

My vision/goal/whatever you want to call it, is have a large group (6-12) MBers and we DO this together. I agree with the ladies above, that if it is only two it should be the same sex.
If we can get this group together, we could exchange phone numbers via email and speak during the week (there are free teleconference numbers available) to discuss our progress and support each other in being accountable.

Here is a link reviewing the book.
**edit**

I will wait until Wednesday, our prayer and fast day, before I start, so we can build up more interest.

Let me know.

God bless us on our journey to becoming the men and women God intended us to be,
TTSMM

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:33 AM. Reason: removing email address

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I asked Jesus, How much do You love me? He said, This much., and spread out His arms and died.
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I hope we can do it as a group with both sexes involved. Can we do a group teleconference?

Hey Diamonzzz,
I left a post on the en board for you. I always want to know that you are OK. Why don't you join us in our book study here. Maybe your whole life will change, if your focus changes!!! I hardly ever go to the en board. I would rather stay here. I feel God's presence here. I don't think He is a big fan of the en board. There is too much {{{ humanness }}} there. God Bless and be with you Diamonzzz.

singleguy

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All,
Check out this site and let me know for "The Purpose Driven Life" teleconference.

Teleconference

The list of access phone numbers is
**edit**

For me, any call for me within the US, is a free long distance call (because of my long distance plan). Check these numbers out and let's decide what number we want to use.

I am also looking to use this service for a monthly "Prayer for the Restoration of Our Marriages" teleconference call. All those MBers (other invitees as well - church groups, family, friends, etc.) would dial in and pray an "Our Father" together. Then we would say the names of our spouses and children (together) and them hang up.
This idea was given to me by the Holy Spirit.

Let me know your thoughts.

God Bless us all in our purpose driven lives,
TTSMM

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:34 AM. Reason: removing links

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Diamonzzz,
You NEED to be a part of this group. If you go to www.christianbookpreviews.com, there is a preview of the book. God has a plan for you Diamonzzz, and I, and everyone here, and we need to seek him for answers. After I read the preview, I am thoroughly behind what ttsmm is trying to do. I also feel the Holy Spirit has called him to lead us at this point. We need to be an obedient army of Christian soldiers. God is taking ttsmm to his purpose right now!!!! Take some time to be quiet before the Lord today Diamonzzz. Quit trying to figure it all out on your own. Give your life and your marriage over to Him, and have faith that He will be the Potter that He claims to be. You are my sister in Christ, and what brother doesn't help his sister!!!! Jesus will open the prison doors Diamonzzz, if you will simply open your heart. It's never too late to do the right thing!!!

singleguy

<small>[ October 26, 2003, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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Hello all,
Count me in your group for The Purpose Driven Life program. Really gave me a lift tonight and I also feel this is a grat reguest from the Holy Spirit.
I also have unlimited long distance within USA so anywhere for me is ok!
God is directing us and I feel this is so good and healthy for our healing and understanding. I pray this helps all of the Mber's.
Thank you TTSMM and also for your prayer for my recovery with my injury's to both arms.
God Bless you all.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LoveNcare:
<strong> Hello all,
Count me in your group for The Purpose Driven Life program. Really gave me a lift tonight and I also feel this is a great reguest from the Holy Spirit.
I also have unlimited long distance within USA so anywhere for me is ok!
God is directing us and I feel this is so good and healthy for our healing and understanding. I pray this helps all of the Mber's.
Thank you TTSMM and also for your prayer for my recovery with my injury's to both arms.
God Bless you all. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

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None of these #'s work for me <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Why does this need to be by phone? Is there any way someone can set up a chatroom?

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All,
I am going to call my brother later today to see if he wants to participate in this. See if you can gather some friends, co-workers, family, etc.

OK, I need to know what number is good for everyone. We will rotate this every week to help alleviate any high phone charges. LoveNcare and myself have unlimited long distance, so we are open to any of the phone locations above. Let me know by 12:00 on Tuesday.

Wednesday, October 29th, the day for our Weekly Prayer for the Restoration of Marriages and Our Lives, will be the first day of the 40 days for this commitment. We will finish on Sunday, December 7th (someone please correct my math if it is wrong).
My suggestion is we read the chapters in the morning, before we do anything (shower, eat, go to work, etc.). If we read it just before bed, how much will we retain for the next day.

Our first call will be this Wednesday evening, October 29th, at 8:30 PM EST/7:30 PM CST/6:30 PM PST (again, correct my calculations if I am wrong).

I need all of your help with this. I have a tendancy to get controlling intead of leading when I am placed upon these postions. At work, that can be detrimental; at home it has been detrimental; with God it could be worse. So please help me stay the course with all of you and keeping God's Word at the forefront.

God Bless and Godspeed us all our journey to become what He intended us to be in our lives.
TTSMM

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ttsmm,
The phone number in Plainfield, Ma worked for me. Although I didn't go all the way thru all the prompts, it all sounded OK. I think it would be good if it was spelled out as to exactly what we are going to do on this call. I don't have a " name " to say when we connect, so I'm not sure what I would do, or say. Maybe it could be layed out a little clearer.

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My Dear Brothers and Sisters,
lupo brings up a good point.
I like the phone call though because it brings a personal interaction of emotion (hearing another's voice) to our mission. Unless we are afraid of losing out annominity, it will be difficult to hide.
Chat seems very impersonal. Also, it brings up to many bad reminders of the past for me. Chat rooms are what pushed me on my downhill spiral. Of course without that downhill spirial, who knows when/if I would have come back to God.

Let's decide quickly though. I don't want to get caught up in "paralysis of analysis" (a clever ,evil tool of the devil) and get us to loose track of what we WILL accomplish.

Grace to you all from Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,
TTSMM

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TTSMM

Hmmm, tough call. All the #'s are LD for me (closest one is 1200 miles away), but personal interactions sound good.

Right now, typing is very difficult, so I'm not much of a barometer.

Any other options? You are right, we need to decide in about 24 hrs.

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Hello Lupolady and TTSMM,
Just a thought here - what if TTSMM and I call the number ? we decide on and then call one of you that are having trouble with long distance? I have three way calling <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ! Maybe someone else has this also?
Boy is God being good to the phone company's LOL!
My email is **edit**

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:35 AM. Reason: removing email address

BS 53 WH 47 M 9 yrs together 11 H left 3/1/02, 3/31/02, 5/22/02 A found out 5/22/02 and maybe longer? Plan B 7/22/03, 8/10/03 May I have the strength and courage and as much faith to carry this to recovery! I have all the Love! LoveNCare
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I think this will be an awesome book to study, esp. as a group. For me, I am not really interested in doing it though. I'm sorry, but I'm hoping my church will do it soon and I want to do it in person with them (two churches in my area are doing it as a coorporate church-wide study right now). I don't think I would do good in a online study. In my opinion, I am online way too much as is. But I wish you all well and hope it is very beneficial and a blessing for you!

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All,
I changed the time to 9:00 PM EST because 8:30 PM EST is 5:30 PM PST (bad calc on my part). People might not get home from work in time.
Also, the phone number is selected by the system, not us. Therefore, it picked California for teleconf.
Let's try to not get bogged down in this for now. Let's get the first call out of the way (apologies for the LD charges); then we can regroup and find another phoen solution.

Conference Details
Scheduled Conference Date: Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Scheduled Start Time: 9:00 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Scheduled End Time: 10:55 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Scheduled # of Participants: 25
Type of Conference: Web-Scheduled Standard
**edit**
Conference Controls:
Conversation Mode (all participants can be heard)
Entry Chimes - Enabled
Exit Chimes - Enabled

Touch-Tone Quick Reference for Conference Call

0 Exit the Conference
1 Enter a 1-on-1 Consultation
2 Get Your Caller Code for a Private Consultation
4 Access the Help Menu
5 Toggle Locking/Unlocking the Room
6 Toggle Mute/Unmute
7 Toggle Room Muting Mode (Conversation/Q&A/Presentation)
8 Time Remaining in the Conference
9 Toggle Entry/Exit Chimes (On/On, On/Off, Off/On, Off/Off)
# Hear the Number of Parties in the Conference

Touch-Tones 5, 7 and 9 are available only to the conference Organizer


I booked for 25 participants, doubt it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
I also booked for 1 hour and 55 minutes, doubt it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

But with the Lord, who knows waht HE will bring to us. Let's trust Him.

God Bless,
TTSMM

PS I wantd to send email invitations out with this info, BUT, I need your email addresses (send to mine if you want confidentiality). Also, your email address WILL appear to everyone that the invitation is sent to. So, if you don't want your email to be seen by the other's in this group, I will have to send info via this forum.
Note: Your email address will be seen by those I send email invites to, NOT the MB users and guests to this site.


God willing, we will get through this.

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:37 AM. Reason: removing contact info

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lupo,
This is for you and others, if they are concerned about the LD charges.

http://www.10-10-220.com/rate_domestic.html

By dialing 10-10-220, the area code and the number, a 20 minute call is only $0.99. It is $0.07 per miinute afer that. Therefore if our call lasted 1 hour, it would cost you $3.79. But, you could hang up, after 20 minutes and call back in. Do the same afer the next 20 minutes and the 1 hour call will cost $2.97.

I don't know your situ, and I am hoping that this will help you.

God Bless,
TTSMM

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Great call yesterday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'll try to keep this posting brief.

I want to start by saying that it was an insightful, supportive, and pleasureable experience.

I would like that when we share, we speak personally, "I have bad a upbringing..", not "...when you have a bad upbringing...". I don't know if that makes sense but try it. This is where it is "about me".

Every night, I would like for us to post what you experienced from the day's chapter .

Day 1
P2P (Point to Ponder) "It's not about me."
V2R (Verse to Remember) "Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him."
Q2C (Question to Consider) "Inspite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, and not myself?"
=======================
P2P
- It's about my wife, my two kids, my family, my community, the world.
- What kind of legacy does God have intended for me to leave?
V2R
- I don't have anything to comment on this right now.
Q2C
- Some samples of such ads have been: "You deserve this.", "You would look great in this.", "You want this. Right?"
- I wasn't brought up with a "Me" attitude; and defintiely brought that into my life once I was out on my own.
- My parents, Mom especially, always guided me towards great things, that I could do anything. She taught me to treat others respectfully; but, I was never taught "What can I do that would benefit others?"
- I need to keep in mind that there are people in this world who are suffering; how can I help? What words/actions can I say/do that will bring someone comfort? Is my ego more important than this person's feelings?
=======================

You don't need to follow this format. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.

Also, since we are all on the East Coast, excpet for the farm boy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> , I would like to move our weekly call to 7:30 PM EST. My W goes to kick boxing class from 6:30 - 9:30 and this will give me some privacy. She did not go yesterday (don't know why) and that is why I was hesitant on some of my speaking. My apologies; I am strong in my faith, but not in defending it to her. I want to avoid arguing with her because it is a no-win situ.

God's Love to us all,
TTSMM

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Day 2
P2P "I am not an accident."
V2R (Verse to Remember) "I am your Creator. You were in My care even before you were born."
Q2C (Question to Consider) "I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background and physical appearenceam I struggling to accept?"
=======================
P2P
- On the one hand, there is comfort in knowing God wanted me to exist; and He planned it.
- On the other, this means everything happens for a reason. I absolutley believe that. If God says I am not an accident, where is my free will?
- God knows/planned the beginning of life, as well as the middle and end. Therefore, am I just a puppet?
- Why would God create something and destined that it to not be saved (Judas Iscariot)?
- More than any other theological principal, which I accept, this is the most challengin for me.
- There is also a sense of, "Not that I can't do anything worng", but, "Why be anxious? Whatever I do was meant to be."
V2R
- Same as above.
Q2C
- I cry too much for a man. I am too emotional.
- Poor I can deal with.
- My parents were not playing with a full deck most of my childhood.
- Why the lustful desires were placed upon, more than the average man?
- Why do I have terible teeth?
=======================

Hey, where are my Brother and Sisters on this daily commitment we made? lupo, single, love????

God's Blessings be bestowed upon us,
TTSMM

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Hello TTSMM, Single, Lupo!
I am here! Sorry so late, had Co today till late!
Yes Great Call Lastnight! I felt the power and know this is the direction God wants me to Journey!
Day 1 - In this Journey I will find the purpose my life has and also who I am! This is very exciting to have the greatest gift in life and all will be reveled because of my deepest relationship with Jesus!

Confusion? I always believed God gave us our Total Life including Spouses, Friends, Jobs. Chaper says we Choose? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> just wanted to put it in here so I did not forget.

Day 2 - I was created by God because of his Love for me! He gave us life through the word of Truth. The Truth to build our life on is: God Is Love!

I have had a hard time for this 53 years because friends, family, spouses have all tried to harden me. I am soft and love to find good in people. If I am told something negative I try to turn it around to that person so they may look at it different - no I am condemned for trying to bring the love of God to many hearts! So I just shut up and let it go. So this is why I wanted to join this group and I am so happy to have this opportunity for a better understanding about my relationship with Jesus. Purpose and Idenity!
When my relationship with my WH failed then I reached out to grab my faith and pull it tighter than it has ever been. I have always been a firm believer of God and his word, but people in my relationships thought I was crazy so I kept silent about religion. I vow never to hide my feelings about God again. I was brought up in the Church without a Dad, but a wonderful strong Mother and 7 brother and sisters.
Thankyou Marriagebuilders for being here when I needed you the most. You all have put me back on track! God Bless you and may God hold you as tight as he holds me. Praise his name, Love him as he does you!

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Remember that out on the farm is where they raise the " Stallions "!!!!!
OK Enough of that. We aren't as backward as you might think!!!! I apologize for not posting, it's been 9:30 the last two nights.

We were created by God to worship Him. We were satan's replacement, who at one time was lucifer. He was the most beautiful angel in heaven. Ttsmm, one observation you make is wrong. Everything does not happen for a reason. That is not true!!! Everything happens because of CHOICE. Big difference. A person doesn't shoot someone because God programmed them to. That would make God a murderer. The person shot because they chose to. Maybe because of anger, or greed, or whatever. God does give you a purpose, and a free will. Just like your job. Your employer gives you a job and a job desciption. but if you don't do it quite right, then he may have to interact by getting another employee involved, or another employee may try to sabotage you, and wreck your job. In the meantime, the employer is trying to fulfill the mission statement, and work with all these variables. Make sense. Even tho God knew Cain would Kill Able, He didn't MAKE him do it. It was Cain's CHOICE!!!! The bible is very clear that prayer changes things. Proverbs tells us to seek wise council. Ask, and it shall be given, etc.. It was not " meant to be ". We have the ability to go left or right. God gave us a brain to make a CHOICE, and His word tells us that He already has the consequences in place. We need to know the consequences by reading the bible [ my people suffer for lack of knowledge ], and then make the right CHOICES. IF my people, who are.... THEN I will hear from heaven. Judas had more than enough opportunities to make the right choice. He was trying to make it to the 11th hour. But the bible is very clear that after God has given you so many chances { choices }, he will slam the door, and there are no more chances. A hard heart that will no longer respond. You are making choices, your wife is making choices. We DO have a free will!!!!!
Day 3:
P2P: The ant never strays from his purpose. Proverbs says to learn from the ant. I told the kids to make their life like a car going down the interstate. You just look straight ahead and let God bring what He wants you to have by bringing it up the on ramp, and take away what He doesn't want you to have by taking it down the off ramp.
V2R: Your purpose will cause you to get up every morning and to overcome every adversity you face.Purpose is a powerful force. Even God has one!!!
Q2C: Teacher. I love to teach!!!!

God Bless
singleguy

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by singleguy:
<strong> Everything does not happen for a reason. That is not true!!! Everything happens because of CHOICE. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SG,
I can't completely agree with this, b/c I believe that Yes, "things happen b/c of our choices, BUT I BELIEVE GOD USES THE CHOICES WE MAKE TO SHAPE AND USE THEM AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES TO MOLD OUR LIVES INTO WHAT HE WANTS THEM TO BE, therefore, by default it happened for the reason that God can use it.
If we didn't believe this, then we would have to believe God is constantly running around behind the scenes RE-writing our lives b/c we CHOSE something other than what He intended! My God is bigger than that! OF course, we don't want to believe that. For instance, we don't want to think Judas intended to betray Jesus all along, but thinking about it, it becomes obvious that Judas was created by God to fulfill this prophesy, and he HAD to betray Jesus!! Maybe HE wasn't aware of God's plan, but Jesus and the Father were.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> God gave us a brain to make a CHOICE, and His word tells us that He already has the consequences in place. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree! Nothing we do takes God by surprise. He knew us before we were formed, He certainly knew ALL we would do, the bad choices, and thoughts, and actions.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I told the kids to make their life like a car going down the interstate. You just look straight ahead and let God bring what He wants you to have by bringing it up the on ramp, and take away what He doesn't want you to have by taking it down the off ramp.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I LIKE THIS A LOT!!!

If only we could remember to do this all day, every minute of every day..........

Now, back to the book:
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
P2P: "It's Not About Me"
I got such comfort from this knowing I wasn't "on stage" having to "perform." This, ALL OF IT, the world, this existence, my family, friends, where I was born, where I live now, where I will die......IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!! It's about what God can do THROUGH these events, who He can "touch" and use me to do it. Obviously, I know people NONE OF YOU WILL EVER MEET, and vice/versa. This means I have to be the "Light of the world" in my little corner of it! You can't be. I am here as HIS ambassador. NO ONE ELSE CAN BE THAT TO THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO MAY NEVER KNOW ANOTHER CHRISTIAN. If I don't feel like it, "Oh, well." IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!! It doesn't matter if I feel like it or not!! I am HIS vessel, and need to be available to be used by Him, whenever, however, where ever with whomever HE CHOOSES!!
Q to C: I think the closer we get to God, the more we seek Him, NOT get mired up in the world's "junk" - the easier it is to remind ourselves that we are really living for His purpose and not our own.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Day 2:
P2P: "You are not an accident"
This hit me like a ton of bricks, b/c (by the world's standard, anyway), YES!! I WAS "an accident!" My parents (both of them, I always felt), blamed ME b/c THEY HAD to get M'd. I alwasy felt like the weight of the world was on me, and why did it have to be ME who was the source of their unhappiness? If only I'd never been born, cause I was such an accident, it messed up not just mine, but their lives, and my sister, who came after me! It was a relief (I learned this many years ago, tho), to finally realize that God was in control of this, and He desired me to be born at this particular time in this particular way and in this particular place to these particular people for HIS OWN purpose. It did not matter whether it was considered "an accident" by the world. HE had a higher purpose, and I was "Wonderfully and fearfully made" by Him. Every flaw (lots of physical ones!!), every thought, every action, ALL PLANNED BY HIM for His higher purpose.

Q to C: Pretty much already answered........I have struggled for a lot of years to accept myself as I am.........not a raving beauty by any means, and told so by my parents, not a particularly "feminine" female and derided for remaining a tomboy by my family members, I finally came to accept ME as I am when I learned (realized?) that it didn't matter if no one else liked me, I had to, or else what was the use of living??? It wasn't until very much later that I realized that not only did God "like" me just the way I turned out - HE HAD ORDAINED IT!!! So I have to accept it as His GIFT to me!

PTL \o/

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single, lupo, love,
I'll add my Day 3 'stuff' tonight. It has been a hectic day at work, and I have been trying to keep the chapter for today in my head and it is (I am unable to) keep it in my thoughts.

I AM NOT AN ACCIDENT!

One of the most debated doctrines of Christian faith is that of Predestination. Below are links to R.C. Sproul's radio on this subject. He is a great orator (IMHO) and has given me a lot to think about.

Everyone Believes this Doctrine
God's Sovereignty
What is Free Will?
Man's Radical Fallenness
Does God Create Unbelief?
The Divine Initiative

You will need Windows Media Player to play these, although any MP3 should work.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ...we don't want to think Judas intended to betray Jesus all along, but thinking about it, it becomes obvious that Judas was created by God to fulfill this prophesy, and he HAD to betray Jesus!! Maybe HE wasn't aware of God's plan, but Jesus and the Father were.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have not listened to all of these yet. One of the above links goes into this. This does bring up the question then if God is the Sovereign, All-Knowing Creator of All, does create some people for the purposes of never being saved?
Personally, I don't think so, and...........

Btw, the other doctrine I have difficulty with, but not to the extent of this one is "God was, is, and always will be." If I remove myself from the concept of time. This makes sense. How as humans do we remove ourselves from the concept of time?

Lastly, because I have difficulty understanding these doctrines does NOT mean that I don't believe in God the Father; Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and Savior; and that the Holy Spirit guides me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God's Peace be bestowed upon us in our jouney ahead of us,
TTSMM

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lupo and ttsmm,

May I be the devil's advocate.....
So Jesus DIDN'T die for everyone. So when Jesus said that He wished that none should perish, He wasn't being totally honest, making the bible at least partially false. Some were doomed to hell at birth. And Adam and Eve HAD to be created, because Jesus existed from the beginning, and Jesus was the word, and so on......And since Jesus already existed, what do we do with Him. We need to create a position for Him somewhere, otherwise we don't need the trinity, just the pair.... So let's create the Garden of Eden, and get them to sin, so then we have a use for Jesus.... Now it makes sense.... Please, really think about this!!!!!!

Judas was never created to betray Jesus. But the whole story can show us how someone can be right next to Jesus, and never accept Him as Savior. Judas was so cold hearted. He wanted what was IN Jesus hand, but he neverwanted the hand. And Jesus reaches a point where he will no longer persue a person, because of a hard heart. How many of us are like that, or have been like that? How many sit in church every Sunday, which is not the true Sabbath by the way, and never really want Jesus? Oh, they will tell you they do, and their actions are award winning. But their heart is just like Judas's. Just like the one criminal hanging by Jesus on the cross. He heard Jesus give the other one eternal salvation, but still he was deaf by CHOICE!!!

Day 5:

P2P: Some make it happen, some watch it happen, and some say " what happened ". God is looking for leaders. People who act, and not react. The principle is the shepard, and the sheep. The higher up the mountain you are, the farther you can see!!!!

V2R: It's the little things that really prove your character. If God cares about the sparrow...
One saying says that " character isn't created in crisis, it's only exibited ".

Q2C: God is really putting me thru trials to develop my patience. I have always been a " quick decision " person, and didn't always focus on my impact on others. It takes time to change a person's thinking, just what we are facing here. God wants me to teach absolute truth.

God Bless
singleguy

<small>[ October 31, 2003, 04:31 PM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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Day 6

P2P: If God is truly our Father, then we want to be where He is. Nothing on earth can satisfy us.

V2R: Faith gives us the ability to believe for things that have as yet not happened, and the trust to know they will.

Q2C: It will change our priorities. We will invest our time, money, energy, etc, in the things that will bring rewards in heaven. We should always be looking up.

God Bless
singleguy

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single,
I would like to discuss this Predestination topic more. For now, let's keep this topic to the Purpose. This is my fault.


You are too far ahead.
Day 1 - Wed
Day 2 - Thu
Day 3 - Fri
Day 4 - Sat

Day 3
P2P: "Living on purpose is the path to peace."
V2R: "You, LORD, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you."
Q2C: "What would your family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?"
==========================
P2P: Today, I was very scattered at work. I found it difficult to pray or to remember anything form this chapter. I didn't have a purpose today and when I left work, I got it. I DO have too many "things" I am involved in in my life. (I'm afraid I will miss something!) I can knock off many of them now and the rest as I discover my purpose.

V2R: When I saw how scattered I was and when I the verse again, and surrendered, I felt some peace.

Q2C: Others would say I am driven by wanting to please everyone. When that doesn't work, I am driven by anger and resentment and then by guilt (created by the anger and resentment).
I want o tbe driven by GOd's Love through helping others.

May the Grace of God be a bright beacon in daily journeys,
TTSMM

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Everybody,

I wanted to ask this question:

Is it possible we can do this another day of the week, or is Wed. everybody's best day? Reason I ask is, I go to Wed. evening service, starts at 7, sometimes not over till close to 9. I agree 9 pm is too late for our phone call, but for the reasons cited, I'm not fond of Wednesdays at all!

Don't any of the rest of you have this dilemma?

Blessings,

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Purpose Driven Life, Ch. 3:

What Drives Your Life?

P2P: "Living on purpose leads to peace."
I will have to admit to NOT having a purpose. I have to admit to just "living" day-to-day without much though to having a purpose. Although I have felt that my spiritual gift is Teaching, and I do this for a living, and love it, I do feel (after reading this chapter) that God has more in mind than just "my vocation." Obviously, His purpose involved fulfilling His purpose for my existence. I can't truly answer that I KNOW what my purpose is! (That's scary to admit, so I'm working on it)

Q to C: "What is my driving force? What do I want it to be?"
I don't know that my family/friends would SEE a "driving force" in my life. In a strange kind of way, this marital nuclear blast that has taken place in my life has re-focused me back to where God wants me to be! In the midst of seeking HIM above all, I think my family/friends can see that (my boss did comment on this awhile back). I suppose if I had to answer in one sentence, I would say that I would want my driving force in life to be to seek to walk in peace as much as lies within me........

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Ch. 4: Made to Last Forever

This chapter affected me most of all! I never really considered what it would be like once we "leave" here. I mean, I had read/heard "We shall all be changed, in the twinkling of an eye....", but I never really thought about how - although we SHALL all be changed...........it's also true that WE WON'T CHANGE THAT MUCH!!! We will still be US. I will still be who I am. MY thoughts, MY emotions, the uniqueness of ME. That's what stuck out most in my mind as I read this chapter. where ever I go, I WILL BE THERE!!! I don't know that I'm stating this clearly.

Whenever I thought about "we will all be changed..." I guess I figured we'd all be changed into little christian robots who would LOVE standing around singing praises, gazing on the Savior's face, etc.....then it suddenly occurred to me that if we didn't like doing it now, how would be be changed enough to endure it for all eternity?!?!?! IOW, I'd better enjoy being IN THE WORD, and giving praise and worshipping God better than all other activities, cause that's all heaven is!!! And the PERSON I am isn't going to suddenly cease to exist and some NEW person in my persona is suddenly going to pop up and enjoy things I've neglected all these years.......or I'd be like a fish out of water, essentially NOT fitting in!

P2P: "There's more to life than just here and now."
This is the point! IF we are constantly living for the HERE AND NOW, then we won't be prepared for the eternal......we just won't be equipped to do it.

"This world is fading away along with everything it craves......" So I shouldn't get too attached to all the things of this world! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Q to C: Made to last forever......
The one thing I should do more often is getting closer to God (reading His Word and praying), so it isn't such a shocking thing to suddenly be "required" to be in His Presence eternally in heaven. I mean, WHY would I seek to do such a thing in the next life, if I've neglected to do it at all during my time on earth?
To get less distracted by the things that are going to fade away, and to attempt to draw closer to the things that will last forever equips me to enjoy God not only NOW, but forever! \o/

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Trying,

I was reading your post at the beginning of this thread. I also come across those reminders of all the sins that lead to the downfall of my marriage, of losing my home, and of losing my children for several months. As time goes on that are not as painful. I have ask God to removed them from my memory. It finally came to me that if He removed them, I would lose the lessons learned and then right back were I was before.
So then I must be thankful for the memories. The mistakes I made and the lessons learned made me who I am today. I am a new creation, and I have to remind myself of this and claim it to defend myself from the enemies flaming arrows.

What I have learn to do when these memories come up is the same thing I had to do at the beginning of my journey with Christ, I had to forgive myself and everyone else involved. I think forgiving myself was the most important part of my healing and changing. So, each time I am reminded of something I did, I ask God to help me forgive myself again. Each time I get angry again at the memory of something someone has done to me in the past, I ask God to help me forgive them again. God forgives our sins as soon as we confess them and ask forgiveness. We are the ones that have trouble with forgiving. It would be nice to forgive as God does, forgive and remember it no more, but I believe we do remember so we stay on the right path toward Jesus. We remember so we can stay on that path of being transform into His image.

This is how I have came to look at those memories. Your post reminded me of myself.
I was also 40 years old when my husband left and I gave my life to Christ. My life took a big turn at 40.

Thanks for all your commitment,

gentle

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Friends in Christ,

Day 4
P2P: "There is more to life than just here and now."
V2R: "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever."
Q2C: "Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?"
==========================
P2P: All the pain and sorrow I am going through are nothing compared to the eternity with God. All day I was thinking about the consequences of my actions.
A PC sales rep sold me the wrong peice of equipment today. I called the manufacturer of the equipment and found out I needed two of them. I was very upset and wanted to scream at the rep. I brought my daughter with me back to the store. I thought about my consequences; if I get back at this guy, in the store with my daughter there? I would feel good for about 10 seconds and then I would a damged my daughter for rest of her life.

V2R: See above.

Q2C: Stop breaking ANY of God's commandments. Continue building that "First Love Relationship" with God.
Love others, UNCONDITIONALLY -- Forgive others, UNCONDITIONALLY.


God Love you, always,
TTSMM

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Hello TTSMM, Single, Lupo,
Sorry late again! Halloweened with the kids lastnight, a promise could not break! Today just lost with many phone calls. Had a hard time with getting thoughts on paper.

Day 3
P2P: Living on purpose is the path to peace
answer: I have always thought about this and it meant to me that if we love, honor, trust and obey God we will have everlasting life. That has given me peace.

V2R: "You Lord, gave perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you" Isaiah 26:3

Q2C: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?
answer: My driving force is well known as giving to everyone that needs me with passion, not judgement, and to follow with God's direction. I believe he has given me this heart and knowledge to help the elderly, animals, family and friends.
I want to continue all above, but with more understanding of my purpose which I believe will be known when we are done within this 40 days!


Day 4
P2P: There is more to life than just here and now.
answer: As a young girl my mom always talked about life and that we are living for God to be sent to Heaven with the wrongs and rights through our 10 Commandments. All 7 of us knew that we had a choice between Hell or Heaven. I am a lucky women to have had my Mom and our faith!

V2R " This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God , you will live forever." 1 John 2:17

Q2C: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?
answer: I worry to much! I should always remember that God will provide if I trust enough to let him do his work! Being out here with no one around to help causes some of my worry. Snow is the biggest problem because of my arms. I did get through it last year but dread this year!

TO SINGLE!
STALLIONS? LOL OH MY! Got a lot of Bulls out here lol!

God Bless all of you!

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Hi,
I am reading "The purpose driven life" .. you will enjoy this book. I am on plan B .. living in England three thousand miles away from my husband who has been having an affair for 7 months (since discovered). I picked up this book at my church Orlando Baptist .. the week end that I left .. the entire church was reading it together. I will pray for you, as I do for my husband everyday.
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Hello Everyone,
I started with last Monday being Day 1. I have adjusted to the right schedule. My answers to Day 5 are on the 2nd page of this post at the end of the post. I can move them up if you would like. There must be a lot of people reading this book. I can see why it is a best seller.

LoveNcare,We had a stallion that was chestnut with white stockings. His name was Gallant Boy. He was a beautiful horse, and it was awesome to watch him run. When he would through back his head and whinee, he would definitely impress you. Jesus said He was coming back on a white horse. That should be an impressive sight!!!!

God Bless
singleguy

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All,
Today has been a TERRIBLE day. I need your support and prayers because I want to throw in the towel on this as well as my marriage. A typical way I react in my life. Of course that hasn't worked in the past, so I am trying to hold on. When these things come up, I don't feel worthy to exist, let alone lead.
I will give "what happened" after the Day 5 info.
=========================================

Day 5
P2P: "Life is a test and a trust."
V2R: "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones."
Q2C: "What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?"
==========================
P2P: Every single thing I do (or don't do) is a test from God. Everything in this world that I touch is entrusted to me by God. Do I kill things (physically, emotionally, spiritually) or do I handle everything with love and care?

V2R: When I was growing up, I used to have difficulty with this concept (I don't remember hearing this verse when I was younger). I always felt that I would give more attention to something, it it was life threatening, then something that was less important. This is how I measured between between small and large matters.

Q2C: The affair (lying, cheating, attempted suicide, etc.).
My marriage and my family.
============================================
Now my day.
All day, test and trust went through my head. At church if I was upset with my children, "Should I be upset? Is God testing me? Here I go failing again."
After church, we came home and I still pondered that point.
I took my children to play minigolf and for the first few holes I was very upset with them. My kids are 7-1/2 and 3. What a jerk, getting upset with them. I did apologize for my attitude and the rest of the game was OK. I even went back to the proshop to pay for my son's game (I had asked if there was discount for children of a ceratin age? They said 3 and under. He turned 3 in May. I todl them so and they gave me his game free. Even though they gave me the free game, I didn't care how "I" got it. I had to ask and I was sheepish about his age, etc. Slimy in my book). So I wnet back afterwards and paid for his game.

I get home and my wife tells me she wanted to know how much I was paying my spiritual mentor (Bible readings)? I told her I wasn't paying anything. She didn't believe me and said she didn't want the kids near him, because he has a sign on hsi door "Born Again". "That's a cult. Why are you going to a deacon and not your Roman Catholic Church." Again, she is trying to control me. And of course, idiot me, bought into her crap and fought her verbally, toe to toe. Finally, I left for a drive.
While I was out, I had thoughts of everything imagineable to "get back at her" for how she was treating me. Satan was working overtime on my heart. I felt sick to my stomach. I read Philipians and tried to calm down.
When I got home, she apologized and I didn't even hear it. I told her I was taking a nap in "our" bedroom because I haven't slept on a bed in over five months. She didn't care and she tried to lock me out. I forced my way in and I went to sleep (nap) on my bed. She continued to badger, yelling at me, not caring the kids were in earshot. She told me she went to a meeting scheduled by the court to handle arguing in front of the kids, etc. That lasted a day with her, BUT she can't justify it because of my having the affair, etc.
I am so sick of her being able to change her mind, do want she wants etc, and she gets away with it.

I'm sorry, I feel vengeful because all I have tried to do for the last 24 months is repair my marriage. I am envious to the point of disgust at how ther are so many BS here who just want their WS to come out of the fog and repair their marriage. BUT NOT FOR ME!

God help me regain my sanity and ACCEPT Your Will,
Trying


God Love you, always,
TTSMM

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Hello,

Day 5: Seeing Life From God's View

A great question on the first page was How do you see your life?
Well my answer to that was like a obstacle course with me running to and from good and bad!

P2P: Life is a test and a trust
answer we need to trust in God more and to know when he is testing us. Sometimes things are beyond our control and that is when we ask God to handle it for us.

V2R: "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones". Luke 16:10 a

Q2C: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
answer: My husband left our marriage and God is testing my faith. He has tested me also with financial difficulties and how I deal with dissobedient children. My prayers and faith in our Lord have solved many of these tests already! Praise God for being so good to me!
God entrusted my husbands belongings to me for safe keeping when everyone said to sell them because I needed the money. I trust God to help me through these tough times!

PS Singleguy
Thank you for your answer, now I understand. Yes animals are awsome and some day I would love to own a horse! I had a rotten welsh/shetland poney for the kids years ago! It is amazing how some things bring our thoughts many times to the Lord each day!
God Bless you!

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Hello TTSMM.
I just got on here and posted my Day 5 and when MB took me back I read your Day 5.
I am so sorry that your Day was so bad. Please do not argue with her as it never solves anything. Just agree - please! The kids get all wound up inside and then are naughty because they do not know how to handle all they hear. They are very young yet and someday will understand. Give them lots of hugs and praise and they will shine and be more willing to be good. My kids are now in their 30's. All three are basically good but have drug problems which they do not want to hear anything I have to say. I did try to make them understand what they are doing now against God, but had to give it to God.
Please don't hold it against us that we want our spouses to be changed by God so that we do not have to go through this anymore. Some of the MBer's have worked very hard to get where they are and had a tough time getting there. I think it is wonderful if it works out for them. None of us really know where we will end up. Thank God I am not fighting anymore as that took the life out of me. I did finally refuse WH being here and I did not argue back. Now he has not come in months. Maybe it will give him time to think things through. I do not understand why they want to be right, but it is not worth the fight. After it is done where did it get either of you? No one wins no one looses it just keeps going on. What does matter most is that we ask God to guide us and KNOW HE WILL! You have to be first though and being agreeable will work! I know how hard it is to live with a spouse who defies God, one that puts religion down and calls it crazy. It hurts, but do not try to defend it, just agree to any insult, then say a prayer.
You are not worthless! You are only a man trying to save your marriage. We all have a battle to fight praying for God to change our spouses! Most of us have spouses who have sinned - we all sin from time to time. God will do his work with our help if we let him. I have learned not to say anything if it will hurt my spouse. I just chit chat saying nothing and let it go that way. I have a problem with guilt also so nothing said is better than something I would not know how to take back and redo.
Please know that you are my brother and I say these things from my heart. Hold on to your Faith, don't look and do not hear!
God Bless you and I ask him to hold you tight!

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Day 6:

P2P: Living here on earth versus heaven would be like taking a vacation to Europe [earth] tho I live somewhere else [heaven]. I go to see the sights, but I am not planning to build a home there. I am not going to do anything for the long term there. Therefore I will be a cheerful observer with good advice, but not a resident. Jesus said we are to be " ambassadors ".

V2R: It would be like saving to buy a plane ticket, going to Hawaii, never having been there before. Not even having seen a picture, only reading about how beautiful it is from a brochure. Hearing that it is the PERFECT place to live, you want to get there with all your heart and soul. You put your faith in the person who wrote the brochure.

Q2C: Wouldn't you want to build your house where you want to live? And be constantly planning your dream home where you plan to spend the rest of your life. Your thoughts would always be on your dream, and all your energies would be focused there.

Last nite, Joel Osteen talked about how a person who has torment inside never has peace. If there is a war going on inside of a person, how can there be peace. If a person is still fighting their own battles, then you are still at war inside. When you " truly " give it to God, the war inside ends.

We will never motivate someone by condemnation. The bible says" Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen ". Ephesians 4:29 NIV If we " cut up " our mates with our sharp tongue, we have foolishly destoyed ourselves. Gary Smalley says to think about the most precious thing on earth to you and then trat your spouse that way regardless of how they treat you. Genuine honor and respect WILL soften the hardest of hearts.

The reason we have time on earth is so that we can measure progress. If we lived in a perfect place like heaven,and there was nothing to " fix ", we wouldn't need time. It would be unneccessary.

God Bless
singleguy

<small>[ November 03, 2003, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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<small>[ November 03, 2003, 12:30 PM: Message edited by: NcogNeeToe ]</small>

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Good morning, all,

Day 5: Seeing Life From God's View

How do you see your life?
I guess I would have to answer that I have alwasy felt like my life is "a game" - where it seems everybody else had the rule book and I was floundering around, trying to figure out how to "play," but never getting it right. Sad, but true. This is how I have felt many times.

P2P: Life is a test and a trust
First off, as a test, I guess this said to me that God continually tests us.....to show us what we're made of......... where we're weak, where there's still work to do. It is up to us to Thank Him for the tests! These tests are a mirror TO US of what still needs to be done.....to teach us to run directly to Him, and learn the lesson the test was there for. If we would do this first, we could save ourselves a lot of pain. Ultimately, the "journey" through this life is to prepare us to live in heaven, so we must have LOTS of work to do before we're ready (in my case, I feel like TONS of work to do!!!)
It's no different from the Israelites in the wilderness.........around and around the same stupid mountain for 40 years, when they could have made the trip in 11 days!! Talk about hard-headed!! In the end, the orginial wanderers ended up dying OUTSIDE the Promised Land, since they never did "get it." I don't want to waste that much time. Or end up the same way, so close, but so far away.

As far as this life being a Trust, my thinking on this is that ALL that we have been given is ENTRUSTED to us from God (again, as a test). If we do a good job, we are entrusted with more. If not, then it is taken away. I liken this to my M. I DID have a good H. I had all I needed to make a good M, but I failed.
Again, I NOW feel like THERE WAS A RULE BOOK MISSING (like knowing about MB would have helped............) Like reading the Bible and praying for each other would have helped!

V2R: "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones". Luke 16:10 a

Q2C: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
This is LoveNCare's answer, but it is absolutely true for me, too.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

answer: My husband left our marriage and God is testing my faith. God entrusted my husbands belongings to me for safe keeping when everyone said to sell them because I needed the money. I trust God to help me through these tough times!

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I also feel that the greatest matters entrusted to me lately is the command to continue to Stand for my M. I feel there are so many souls at stake (both family and friends) who will be won over by the testimony of this reconciliation, that I can't quit. God has very clearly shown me that He wants me to stand. I have been led to proclaim this fact to many, so God's Word and Faithfulness is "out there" and on trial. I simply cannot walk away.

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lupolady,
I urge you to let go of the " everything happens for a reason " thinking. That would justify a lot of people's actions. The bible clearly tells us many times we can control our destiny. I choose the decisions that I make, I have control!!!!! Do you think your ex was " wired " to do what he did. No, he chose his actions. I chose to write to you about this. God isn't holding a gun to my head. If He already set all our actions into place, why would He give us the ability to love? We wouldn't need it.

Think about it!!!!
singleguy

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My Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Day 6
P2P: "This world is not my home."
I must have faith. I must not hold on to things around me.
V2R: "So we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but is what unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
It is difficult for me to see happiness around me (many of these people are in Christ) and not feel sad and lost for my own situation.
Q2C: "How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living now?"
It SHOULD enable me to accept ANY adversity brought my way. Trivial things should not matter as much. I feel I have gotten better with that; at least I check myself when something happens.
==========================

This was a difficult day. I have finally gave into my situ and have started looking for a lawyer. I want a Christian lawyer, and I am looking to do some unprecedented things in my state.
After talking with many friends, co-workers, etc. of my wife's behavior, they have said she sounds bi-polar or chemical imblanced. I know women "change their minds frequently"...but...her erratic behavior is beyond reason (IMHO and observation).
Case in point. I come home from work to take our D to a Dr's appt. My W is yelling at our D (7yr old) because she didn't bring home $0.20 change from her lunch money. Our D is crying and my W is treating her like she is a teenager; saying she is lying about he money, she's not responsible, telling her that she will make lunch for her since she can't be trusted, etc. I stepped in and told my W she could not make those decisions without consulting me first.
*Note: This is not the first time she has laced into our D abusively.
She told me it was not my decision, and that I am always challenging her, etc. I am paying for our D's lunch, so I should take care of it. "Yeah, like you know anything about nutrition. You used to eat potato chips for dinner.", she said.

This is a sad day, because once I find a lawyer, which I can't afford, it will eat into the equity of our home. She will not get the home like she so desperately wants. She even slipped yesterday saying that the home was for her; then she corrected saying for the kids.
With her errational behavior, NOT ALWAYS, I will be asking the court for a full mental and physical evaluation for both of us when it comes to custody of our children.
Again, I am very scared.

Please pray for me that I make the right decisions in the days/weeks to come through the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit.

May God cradle us in His Mighty Arms when the sorrow is too much to bear,
Trying!

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Day 6
P2P: "This world is not my home."
This helps me get my eyes off my "worldly possessions." I am a somewhat materialistic person, and a packrat.......so I tend to get "Sentimental" about my possessions. I need to always remember this stuff is just temporary.
A thought I had as I was looking deeply into this thought process is that we were made by God to ENJOY our possessions! I think - again a lesson we're here to learn - this is so we will KNOW what it feels like to enjoy elegant, "pretty" things, (not sure I'm saying this properly), the kinds of glorious things we will be surrounded by in heaven.

V2R: "So we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but is what unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Difficult to do, but absolutely necessary to bring us closer to God, which is our ultimate goal!
This is a good exercise, since it helps us think in these terms in our M's as well. IF we have been "promised" certain things by God, but have not yet recieved them, we need to remember to have our eyes fixed ON HIM (who is unseen) and NOT look at what we see (our circumstances).

Q2C: "How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living now?"
Don't hold so tightly to what I can see or possess, and KNOW that what awaits me in heaven will be FAR, FAR better!
That should take some of the pressure off, and allow me to RELAX and trust God more.
============================================

On a personal note, TTsMm, I am extremely sad for you, my brother.

I will pray for peace and GOD's direction for you. I don't know what path you should take, but God will reveal it to you, and I hope you don't stop praying and finding it and walking confidently in it. HIS PEACE will make it clear to you.

God Bless you, my brothers and sisters.

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Hi everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know that I was praying for all of you while you go through this book. I have have the privlege of reading it and it is great.

Lupo... Glad to hear your arms are getting better.

TTSMM, Sorry you have to go through all the stuff you are(praying for your W).

singleguy,

Glad to see you're doing this too. I would like to ask you to consider something regarding your post to lupolady. What came first the "choice" or a "reason to make a choice"? You see, we are born into this world lost and separated from God. His first and foremost desire is to have us reconciled to Him. We have to make a choice to do this (free will and all). So God puts circumstances in our lives in order for us to make choices (hopefully Godly ones). It just so happens, that the choices others make affect us too. That's when we start to understand the scripture; Romans 8:28 "we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." When people choose to do ungodly things, we can trust God to make them work out to our benefit: ...if, we, continue to make Godly choices in the mists of it.

If you would like to discuss this more, we can start another thread or you can e-mail me sandc_mb@hotmail.com). I would not want to highjack this one. You all are doing so well here, I don't want to see the enemy distract anyone.

God bless you all richly.

Love in Christ.

S&C

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Dear S&C,
I think we are saying the same thing, but explaining it different. What I'm trying to say is that God's circumstances to lead us to Him, or to the right decision, may be seen as reasons, I agree. What I'm trying to say is that even when God creates circumstances[reasons] to bring me in line, it is still my choice. If I rob the convenience store, I chose to. If I get hurt because I'm in the store while someone else robs it, I am hurt by their choice. But it is still a choice. Then God makes all things work together.... on top of it. Prayer is a choice, and can affect a choice. If everything was a reason, I wouldn't need to love, or forgive, or teach. The outcome would already be determined. I'll email!!!!!
singleguy

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sg, s&c,
Don't email. Start a new thread. Predestination, choice, free will, and reason, has always been a strong theological pull for me and I would love to hear both of your opinions (outside of this thread).

God Bless,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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oops!

God Bless,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ November 04, 2003, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

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Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you be with ttsmm today. Father, let your love hold him and keep him in this time of pain and hurt. Father, we lift this marriage, this family up to You and ask that Your healing mercy would repair it and set it back on track. We ask that You restore this covenant, and cause it be a light in a broken world. Holy Spirit, penetrate the hardness of her heart, speak Your truth to her, and show her the right path. Holy Spirit,remove all evil things from her thoughts and replace it with forgiveness, and love. In Jesus name. Amen

God Bless You ttsmm
singleguy

PS: God Bless you too lupolady. I say what I say in Christ's love. Please forgive me if it appeared as anything else.

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Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you be with ttsmm today. Father, let your love hold him and keep him in this time of pain and hurt. Father, we lift this marriage, this family up to You and ask that Your healing mercy would repair it and set it back on track. We ask that You restore this covenant, and cause it be a light in a broken world. Holy Spirit, penetrate the hardness of her heart, speak Your truth to her, and show her the right path. Holy Spirit,remove all evil things from her thoughts and replace it with forgiveness, and love. In Jesus name. Amen

God Bless You ttsmm
singleguy

PS: God Bless you too lupolady. I say what I say in Christ's love. Please forgive me if it appeared as anything else.

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Hey, S&C, it's good to hear from you, my brother. Yeah, I can type again!! YIPEE!!! Soft cast came off last Wed. I'm happy about that, but have to remind myself all the time NOT to think it's healed. Actually, my arm reminds me when I try to do something I shouldn't do (OUCH!).
I'm slated to go back to work next Monday (DON'T want to do that). Pray for endurance, and also compassion from my kids, as I'll need their help for a couple of weeks, since I can barely write, and can't really pick up anything slightly "heavy."


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by singleguy:
<strong> God Bless you too lupolady. I say what I say in Christ's love. Please forgive me if it appeared as anything else. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't worry about it, sg. It's just a difference in perspective, I believe.

We'll work through it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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ttsmm,
You seem to be doing a little better this afternoon. Your posts remind me of seven years ago when I was going thru all that. I couldn't handle it again!! I am glad God has given me the CHOICE to forgive and forget. I am free of any anger, or bitterness, and it feels so good!!! Pray for that, regardless of the outcome.

What do you want to do about tomorrow night? It is also church night here, but I can miss for a while. Don't like to, but I will.

I will start the new thread; God and Me, versus {{{{them}}}}. I have to do this, it was predestined!!!!! God and I will also win!!!! Again predestined!!! Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I'm humorous today. What shall we call the thread?

singleguy

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Hey lupo,
Exactly how did you break your arms? Was it that time you fell just a while back? I broke my left arm twice. Once in second grade, and once when I was a freshman. The casts had to be on for six weeks, and they would itch like crazy. I stuck a kitchen knife in once to itch and ended up cutting myself. I went to school with blood all over the cast. Everybody wondered what happened!!! Anyway, thanks for just being you. It must be that stallion in me that gets me a little off course once in a while!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by singleguy:
<strong> Hey lupo,
Exactly how did you break your arms? Was it that time you fell just a while back?

It must be that stallion in me that gets me a little off course once in a while!!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, sg, don't worry about your "wild side....."

I have a good friend who has a new little stallion..........his name is "Pistolero" and he's a CUTE LITTLE DEVIL!!!! Full of it......know what I mean? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I see you being like that little guy........always testing and teasing. He snuck up behind me one time (he was 3 months old at the time) amd NIPPED MY BEHIND!!!!! Cute, but naughty!

Anyway, yeah, I just tripped over my own clumsy feet (and some trash on the floor from unpacking the game table) and started to fall, tried to break my fall and broke my right arm. The left one turned out not to be broken, just badly bruised, as was my left shin, where I went down the 4" step! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

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I have not booked the time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> because of lupo's previous post. I didn't get to all of you though, my bad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> .
I don't know how we should handle this. My W is on the warpath more with Jesus in this house (tell more later).
How late will all of you stay up to do this? Next week, the schedule will be pretty open; my W just got a job working at a bakery in the newly opened Shoprite. She is really, really good, and wants to open her own bakery someday. I hope I will be involved with that (God's Will).

I will post my Day 7 later.

God's Peace rest on our hearts,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Day 7
P2P: "It's all for him."
Day 1, told us, "It's not about me." This has not taken me full circle, but it has definitely changed my focus.
V2R: "For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by His Power, and everything is for His Glory."
Q2C: "Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's Glory?"
Every breathe is a grace. Nature, my children's laughter, love of my family and friends. Sunsets, clouds in the sky, stars, moon, the beach, wind, rain, snow, dogs, cats, birds, rainbows, EVERYTHING. All the things I take for granted that pass through my daily life. I have been attracted to nature all my life. More so, these past two years. If it is all for God, them I must take care in everything I do and handle.

MAy we accept God's unimagineable love,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ November 05, 2003, 05:15 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

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Hello TTSMM,
I can do our conference at any hour. Will check back to see what was chosen.
Sorry I did not do 5-6 yet but will in a few minutes. Had a 3 hour run up and back yesterday for my Aunt who fell and broke many bones in her face. I did not get back till late. Then today I had papers for divorce court come and a big surprize within telling me my husband got fired and I no longer have insurance and he is begging the courts to dissolve my support. Lupolady says we have the devil trying harder to misfocus all of us. Guess we better get busy with more praying and praising God!

God Bless you all

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Hello all,
Day 6
Life is a Temporary Assigniment

P2P This World is not my home.
answer: I now understand why I feel so in between things....pulled...pushed...driven...
uncomfortable...not at home! Do not get me wrong - I love my home and all God has given me...5 acres of beautiful land, beautiful animals, a great home filled to the brim, great family. I have been told many times I was not from here but another planet! Lol! Yes I am visiting!

V2R: This verse has alot of meaning for me as I always feel better with what I do not see and know it is better in heaven than here!

Q2C: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?
answer: This helped me through a tough day already just by being reminded through this Book that my situation is only that - A SITUATION! I have to be reminded daily that God will fix all that is wrong in my marriage through my patients and trust. This life is temporary, Heaven and God is Glory! God does not want us to love this home to much or what would we have more to love when we really go home?

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Hello All,

Day 7
The reason for everything

P2P: It's all about him.
answer: Yes we were put here by God to serve God, Love Him, Praise Him, Trust Him, Live for Him so we will have Eternity!

V2R: see above

Q2C: Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's glory?
answer: I need to give God more glory for all I have by not worrying about what is thrown in my lap. He can handle all that comes to me if I give it to him. By loving all people including my lawyer and not grumbling that my WH did this... and that probably would be a good start!

God Bless all of you!

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My Brothers and Sisters,

I scheduled the call tonight (last time for a Wednesday). Will have new schedule tomorrow/end of week.

Conference Details

Date: Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Start Time: 7:30 p.m. Eastern Std Time
End Time: 10:25 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Participants: 10
Type of Conference: Web-Scheduled Standard
**edit**

May God give us His Graces throughout the day,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:29 AM. Reason: removing link

Story

I asked Jesus, How much do You love me? He said, This much., and spread out His arms and died.
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ttsmm,
I am with you brother. I am sorry you are going thru what you are going thru. I ask God to give you courage and peace at the right times. I don't have a computer at home. I wouldn't get anything done if I did. But it is easy for me to go to the office. I just saddle up one of the cows!!!! Just a little humor!!! You know the old saying "a man's work is never done". Well, it's true!!! So I do laundry, and cleaning, and grocery shopping, and all those other things at nite.

Lupo,
Yes, I have a little bit of that stinker personality, but always good, not bad. I only pick on people I like, and I think you two girls are grrrrrreat!!!! Laughter truly is the best medicine, and I use it a lot. If I didn't, I could easily be depressed. Most people don't know what I have been thru, like with my daughter. I chose to be happy inspite of all the tragedies.

God Bless
singleguy

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Day 7

P2P: Everything created, including us, was to bring glory to God.

V2R: Every breathe we take is because he gives it to us. Every second is His.

Q2C: By just thinking for a second about everything I look at. God is in all natural things. God's presence is everywhere we go. He said He would never leave us or forsake us. If He can't leave us, He is always close by.

singleguy

<small>[ November 05, 2003, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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Hello Groupy!

Day 8 Planned for God's Pleasure

P2P: I was planned for God's Pleasure.

Think about this: it is just like when we were born to our earthly parents and how happy they were. They had lots of plans for us. God is our heavenly Father and he was there also and so happy about our birth and plans for our life! This gives me great comfort!

V2R:The Lord takes pleasure in his people
God loves to see us happy. when we are angry he also is as he does not like to see us misused. when we are sad he also is sad. God wants us to enjoy our stay here until he brings us home to a much better life. To do this we need to worship him and give him the glory he deserves.

Q2C: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?
My answer to this would be to do everything with the grace of God in mind. I do think alot of God and what he has done for me in my life and I am so grateful and try to give God praise often. Without him for many years I would not have survived. He is my true friend.

God Bless all and I pray on this Wed that all MBer's will be held tight by our Lord and peace and goodness will come to all. To the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that we give you all the Glory Amen.

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Start w/o me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

W is home. Weather is bad so she is not going to the gym.

I know I must appear like a wimp, and right now I want to avoid confrontation.

God's Blessings to all,
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OK girls, where are you? I logged into the conference at 6:29, and it is now 6:36. In 4 minutesI will call it quits. Thank God the "farm boy" is responsible!!!!! I may have to pick on you two a little!!!!

singleguy

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LoveNcare,
It was a pleasure talking with you last nite. May God answer your every prayer in the way that He has planned so that it blesses you richly. I admire what you are doing, and will agree with you in prayer.
I am gone all day and part of this evening, so I will post tomorrow morning.

God Bless
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Day 8
P2P: "I was planned was God's pleasure."
Because He is a Loving God, I KNOW He does not experience pleasure when I am in pain. As any Good Father, He does not delight in chastising us, be He must when I am disobedient.

V2R: "The Lord takes pleasure in His people."

Q2C: "What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus."
- driving the car
- playing with the kids
- talking with Marie
- ALL activities at work

Other:
p65: "Every part of a church service is an act of worship:..."
This is completely new to me; but makes complete sense.
p66 "...there are benefits to worship, but we don't worship to please ourselves."
I have always been selfish in this: what can I..., or, I din't get/feel anything from this Mass, etc. today.
p67 "Work becomes worship when you dedicate it to God and perform it with an awareness of His presence."
By doing this, it can also keep me away rfm sinning. If I know/feel/believe God/Jesus/Holy Spirit are around me, and I offer EVERYTHING, it's difficult to stray.

May God give His Blessings,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Day 9
P2P: "God smiles when I trust Him."

V2R: "The Lord is pleased with those who worship Him and trust His Love."

Q2C: "Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust Him more?."
- my marriage
- parenting
- career
- using His gifts to me
- relationships
- EVERYTHING


Other:
p71: "In what areas of your life do you need to trust God completely?"
That He will save my wife and my marriage.
p72: "...doing whatever God asks without reservation or hesitation."
This is tough for me because I have yet to HEAR God's Voice. I do get "ideas" and "signs" though.
p72: "Often we try to offer God partial obedience."
Obedience is the most difficult for me. I feel I was a very obedient son to my parents. I did not rebel in my teenage years. I rebeled after I was 21. Since that time until recent I have a constant battle inside between authority and my not being controlled.
p74: "God enjoys watching every detail of your life,..."
It's good for me to be reminded of this. Reduces guilt of not always doing spiritual things.
p75: "He gave you eyes to enjoy beauty, ..."
When I was out on the TRO, I went to a nude beach. At first it was a slick way, I thought, to see some naked women. But I saw God's beautiful creation: fat, thin, young, old, man, woman, and it was ALL beautiful. Because they weren't wearing clothes there was no judgement on my part.
p76: "Parents do not require their children to be perfect, or even MATURE, in order to enjoy them. They enjoy them at every stage of development."
If a spouse is filled with so much anger, resentment, distrust and DOESN'T believe in God, they might feel otherwise: my W.


May God give His Blessings,
Trying

<small>[ November 06, 2003, 10:56 PM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

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I received some nice prayers from several MBers and I want to thnk you. I know God has put us together for HIS PURPOSE.

I just needed to vent, and since Day 9 was about Trusting God, I NEED to let go of these feelings today.
I am really thinking that there is something chemically unbalanced with my W. I told her yesterday, our D's gymnastics class was at 5:20. She calls me at work today to say she was not feeling well, and if I could take her? No problem. I had to remind her that her class was at 5:20 and Friday's was at 4:10. She calls me on the way home from work around 3:55 and said that our D was going to be late for gymnastics. I had to remind her again that today was Thurs and her class was at 5:20.
When I came home, I wnet upstairs first to see hwo she was. "Are you felling better?", I said. "Are you taking <our D> to gymnastics?" she replied, almost peeved that I aksed about her health.
OK, that isn't so bad? The dishes are piled high. She's complained when I do them (her dishes) because she says she won't do mine. OK, and I am not going to have a kitchen full of dirty dishes.
Then, tonight, when I am about to go online, I can'r find my wireless card for my laptop. I placed it on top of the entertainment center. I ask her, she doesn't know where it is. Our D wants to help look for it, and when I tell her where I had put it, she tells me mommy cleaned up there today. My W lied, or forgot? I found the card down in the basement.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God's Mercy and Grace,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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TTSMM,
You have the strength of 10 Bulls strung together now add 10 more for faith!

God Love you and keep you

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Hello ,
Day 9
What makes God Smile?
Everything we do good makes God smile. He loves when we are praying to him and for others. He loves all our daily chores that we do for him. He loves or every moment we are enjoying his beautiful world.

P2P: God smiles when I trust him.
This is a hard one for many of us. For me it is worrying about finances - I should trust God totally. I do add this in my prayers each day many times as I am always fighting with worry. The other day I received in the mail a packet from my lawyers. I thought it was all for court. It was, but it included statements from my WH that he got fired and was begging the court to dissolve my support. If it should happen I would be in the welfare lines and loose my home. I now have no health insurance! It is very hard not to worry! Yes I have to fight with myself again as my throat gets tight and my heart pounds. Any comments will be greatly appreciated!

V2R: "The Lord is pleased with those who worship him and trust his love."
I have work to do in this area! I worship the Lord and trust his love, but fall short at times.

Q2C: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?
My answer to this question is that I trust him enough to give him total control of my life.
The areas are for making my husband a better person so our marriage can be restored, and letting me know where I fall short. Knowing God will not let me fail in anything.

God Bless all of you

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Hi Everyone,
Day 8

P2P: Remember when you and your mate talked about having a child, or another child? And how everything revolved around that coming day.How excited you got as the day drew nearer. And then the big day when they were born, and you just couldn't love em enough!!!!!

V2R: Have you ever been to a family reunion, and watched how the kids were off playing in the yard, and the women were busy getting the food ready, and the men were setting up tables and chairs. Everyone was happy and busy at the same time. All functioning in the game of life, so to speak.

Q2C: My desire should be to be a joy in the presence of my creator. To bring Him joy and satisfaction. Someone who is thankful for what has been given to me..., and worship Him for it!!!!

singleguy

<small>[ November 07, 2003, 03:59 PM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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LoveNcare,
Thanks for the great discussion the Wednesday nite. I admire and support you for standing for your marriage. I also thank you for several comments, but the one about God may know something I don't really sunk in. I receive your wisdom on that.

God Bless You
singleguy

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Day 9

P2P: When the kids trust you totally, because they know you have nothing bust the best planned for them, how can you not be happy? It's the same with God and us. We are the children of God!!!

V2R: He wants to be our everything and He wants relationship with us.And He wants us to thank Him for it.

Q2C: When my prayers aren't answered right away. I need to know that He IS doing something. I may not know what, but He is doing something for my good.

singleguy

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Hello Singleguy,
Thank you for your nice comments and prayers!
After we got off the phone I did my usual chores - dogs, cats and dishes then went to watch HGTV, one of my favorites! While watching this many things throughout our conversation hit me in the head. My thoughts or was it a vision into the darkest part of our being, showed me something I have not considered. Sometimes we get lost in our everyday journeys: happiness, working, sorrows, selfishness, raising kids, our marriages, other family matters. Most of the time we try hard to live life good, but what we think is good is not God's word! I had married a few to many times and had a life that did not include God as he would have wanted it. I prayed and tried to live right, but did not put God first. I remarried, all husbands were adulters. I believe now that God wanted me back doing life his way - living his word! I was very much a Christian in my younger days, but got caught up in my own life. I do not know totally why God has pulled at my heart now? I have vowed never to leave his side again. I have alot to learn, it may take the rest of my life and I am willing because God has forgiven me.
I still believe God wants you to figure out what he wants from you. You said you asked him to pull out the roots. Maybe he was not ready, but did as you asked. go from there!

May God Bless you and Show you His Light.

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady and Singleguy,

Day 10
The Heart of Worship

P2P: the Hear of Worship is surrender.
This chapter was a hard one on my part because I did not do this for so many years. We have to trust God totally and surrender our life to him. That includes Friends, family, money, problems, decision will be tested. God uses the people whom surrender their life to him for his purpose. Example: Jesus's Mother Mary was choosen by God as she lived for him!

V2R: " Surrender your whole being to him to be used for his righteous purpose"

Q2C: What area of my life am I holding back from God?
This book has caused considerable thought, deep digging truths about my life have surfaced and hit me in the head! I have not surrender my total being to God yet. I worry when it would be much easier for me to hand it over to God. Each month since my WH left I have survived. Sometimes by a string, but God is showing me I can let him do everything if I would trust in him. He has shown me I can get through these bills and any other problems that arise! I am learning more each day. Thank you Jesus for my survival, all my new friends here on MB and for this book!

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Hi everyone,

All of you are doing so well.

sg,

Sorry I've been a stranger. I got real busy at work and home. I think you and Lupo and I agree for the most part, but if you want to start another thread (although it may be short lived for that topic) we can talk about anything just to share POV's. Or if TTSMM wants to ask questions he can.

Ya'll be good. It's bedtime over here and I need my beauty sleep.

Bless you all.

S&C

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LoveNcare,
I am completely convinced that God has put you in my life to help me figure out what He wants me to do. There was a reason why it was just the two of us the other nite. When the divorce was approx two years old, she came over to my house, and told me she wasn't happy. I asked her if she would be willing to go talk to my pastor. She said yes, and so the next afternoon we did. After he had talked to her for awhile, she said that she loved both of us,[ me and the guy she was having the affair with ]. Then she said quite surprisingly " I may be going to hell, but I don't care ". On the way home [ 9 miles ] she said she didn't want to come back. She wanted her freedom. That is when I asked God to pull the roots, even if He was to bring us back together someday. A month later our daughter was killed in a car accident, and that really took it's toll on any contact we had. I really didn't care if I ever saw her again. The very next week after the funeral she was broke up with that guy, and had a new boyfriend. Two months later, they moved to another state, and I only see her two or three times a year for a couple hours each time. They have been together for 5 1/2 years now. Do you remember the part about the baby? That also complicated things.

S&C,
I will start a new thread, and it will be for God's glory. I am still thankful that your marriage is healing and that you are such a wonderfull person and a testimony. One more for the glory of God!!!!!!

God Bless Everyone
singleguy

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All my fellow Purposeful's <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ,

I believe it was lupo who mentioned the other day that the devil was influencing us to not stay on track with this committment we made. How true. I didn't get to my Day 10 until 6:45 PM yesterday...and I can understand why. SURRENDER....ouch.

I wil be posting later for Days 10 & 11, I just wanted to let you all know I have you in my prayers and WE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN. HIS WILL BE DONE IN OUR LIVES.
AMEN.

God's Grace andn Mercy,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

PS S&C. It is good to hear from you. I thak you from the bottom of my heart for inviting me in to the Restoration Forum. Thank God. You are a friend.

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<strong> Day 7

"The reason for Everything" </strong>

P2P: It's all for Him
Too often, we forget that HE created all the worlds.......it's ALL FOR HIM, not us!
I have a tendency to be a very selfish person, and I tend to see things as though, "It's all about me......." when in truth, NONE of it is about me........I have to learn to look at my life, my world through GOD'S EYES, and realize that, yes, maybe He did create it all for me to enjoy, BUT ultimately, IT's ALL FOR HIM.

V2R: For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by His power, and everything is for His glory......
I would probably do good to repeat this verse to myself about 1,000 times a day!
<strong>
Q2C: Whee in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's glory?
</strong>
I think we have to MAKE ourselves become more aware of God's glory. For whatever reason, I seem to be wired to look INWARD way too much, and think it has to be about ME. Even in my prayer, I can think about making my prayers line up more with what is HIS will for me, what He is trying to do in my life that will bring glory to Him, and not be so selfish to think He exists to sit around and run answer MY prayers simply b/c I think that's what I need.

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[QUOTE]
<strong> Day 8

"Planned for God's Pleasure" </strong>

P2P: I was planned for God's pleasure.
Amazingly, just saying those words brings an unbelievable sense of peace and love. Too bad we can't STAy in that state, since I'm sure that's what He wants!

V2R: The Lord takes pleasure in His people
This is hard to swallow, as I was NEVER "the apple of anyone's eye" growing up......it's hard to imagine God looks on me and smiles. I never felt that loveable........even my poor H could never convince me of his unending love......sadly causing me to push him away, and create my own self-fulfilling prophecy.
<strong>
Q2C: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?
</strong>
I need to be more loving towards people. Particularly those at work that I do not like, or that don't treat me partcularly well.
I know this would please God, and would cause Him to smile.

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lupolady,

Is everything OK with you? Missed ya lately!!! Don't make me come down there!!!!!

singleguy

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Single,

Day 11: Becoming Best Friends with God

P2P: God wants to be my best friend.

This thought brings much peace to my heart. Friends sometimes are not friends and this is why I have none that are close. I like people and know many. I guess it is because I do not hang out and always been busy with family or work, dogs ect! God as a friend is safe, exciting, peaceful and I am sure the truest friend we could have.

V2R: "Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him"

Two Secrets to start being a friend to God are: practicing constant conversation with him and a continual meditation on his word. Meditation of God's word, thinking his truth over and over and God will tell you his secrets.

Q2C: What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day?

When I worry change that to prayer. when I am scared talk it over with our Lord. I do talk to God often during the day, but I do have to change worry and fear to prayer.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by singleguy:
<strong> lupolady,

Is everything OK with you? Missed ya lately!!! Don't make me come down there!!!!!

singleguy </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, c'mon down, sg!!

It's NICE to be missed!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have been experiencing "technical difficulties" associated with logging on line. All fixed now, I think.

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[QUOTE]
<strong> Day 9

"What makes God smile?" </strong>

P2P: God smiles when I trust Him.
Thinking that I can actually make God smile is amzing to me, since that is definitely NOT the kind of earthly father image I had growing up. If anything, my own father used to hate to have me follow him around! So the thought/image of God actually SMILING when He thinks of me, looks at me, etc. is very foreign to me, actually very humbling.

V2R: The Lord is pleased with them who worship Him, and trust His love
I am trying to be pleasing to my Lord God. It is a wonderful feeling to think that God smiles when thinks about me, I want to have that be our "relationship" forever!
<strong>
Q2C: Since God knows what is best, in what area of my life do I need to trust Him more?
</strong>
By virtue of the fact that we are on a forum called MarriageBuilders I think we can all assume we know the obvious answer to this!!

In my own life, I have come to trust Him more for everything since I am now alone....bills, job security, health, companionship (or lack thereof), all of the future, really.

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<strong> Day 10

"The Heart of Worship"</strong>

P2P: The heart of worship is surrender.

Surrendering our all is truly a form of worship, cause we as humans, LIKE to have control of our lives....(pssst, single, this is part of our FREE WILL), built into us by our Creator.

V2R: Surrender your whole being to Him to be used for righteous purposes
Surrender is hard for someone who is used to being in charge! I know I have surrendered PARTS of my life, my being, but I know I have not yet surrendered other parts of myself. Knowing that God has allowed my M to break apart in order to teach BOTH OF US that God is still able to make us whole, is a hard thing for me to surrender totally. I believe God wants to restore my M, bring my H back into fellowship w/Him (as He has me) through this, BUT I KNOW IT WON'T HAPPEN AS LONG AS I HOLD IT UP IN A SORT OF "CONDITION" I EXPECT GOD TO DO, BECASUE I HAVE ASKED HIM TO. I have to be willing to GIVE IT UP, if God asks me to. I'm not sure I'm to that point of surrender. I don't think I'd be strong enough to do it, if He asked.
<strong>
Q2C: What areas of my life am I holding back from God?
</strong>
(see above) Although I like to think I have surrendered my entire "will" of wanting my M restored, I know I have to get to a place of surrender where I am willing to allow God to NOT have that happen if it be His will for me. That's a hard one.

P.S. I am not really "behind" in my reading, just behind in posting here. That is due to a number of factors......I'm packing lunches and planning wardrobe; I'll be going back to work tomorrow, altho I think it's too soon (I'm "needed") <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> - I already told you about my "technical difficulties" - and I've had a lot of visitors dropping by to help (wonder where they were when I had a cast and REALLY couldn't do for myself?)

Yes, I believe God's timing is PERFECT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Single,

Day 12
Developing Your Friendship with God

P2P: I'm as close to God as I choose to be.

NO I am not yet. I want to be even closer and know all my brain and heart can digest. I had a good start then fell away and now I am looking forward to the rest of my life living for God and having him as a friend.
I do not know why sometimes we backslid? I know it will never happen again to me. It is a miracle when God wants one of his children back and the way he does it! He pulls and pushes you and puts all kinds of reading material, TV Ministeries and other people in your path! This Book has made a big turn around for me as I was lost to God's total love.

V2R: "Draw close to God and God will draw close to you" James 4:8a

We have to surrender our lives to God and love him more than anything, trust him more than anyone, talk to him constantly, meditate, obey and desire a friendship with God to be as close as we can be.

Q2C: What pratical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

I will do all above daily for the rest of my life as what better friend than God can we have? He is true to his word, He never leaves us, He loves us unconditionally, all we have to do is truely love him totally back by living his word.

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Hi Everyone,
This chapter has spoke to me more than any so far.

Day 10

P2P: To me this means giving up everything I have created myself thru my own mind to be, and letting God go in and "reprogram" my whole mind to servr Him. Realizing HIS purpose is better than MY wanting.

V2R: Bill Bright's statement"From this day forward, I am a slave to Christ" says it all. Look what God accomplished thru his surrender.

Q2C: The statement " It is when we try to be God that we end up most like satan, who desired the same thing" really made me look at myself. It influenced the prayer that I said this morning. I have been trying to do my own thing too much.

singleguy

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Day 11

P2P: If we look at the original concept of Eden, it was for God and man to be in constant companionship. Talking with each other continuously. Knowing everything about each other. Sharing from each other's souls, so to speak. Like a ggod marriage should be.

V2R: Look how Davis had such great assurance against Goliath. How Elijah had total faith in God when he stood against the alter of Baal. Just like in marriage, we know things about our mate that no one else knows. Or shouldn't!!!

Q2C: I do try to talk to God all the time. But I have to admit it isn't always with reverence. I need to change my motives.A lot of times, I speak out of frusration, and not worship.

singleguy

<small>[ November 10, 2003, 09:46 AM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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lupolady, LoveNcare, singleguy,

Day 10
P2P: "The heart of worship is surrender."
Letting go is scary with the possible divorce, money's tight, bills high.

V2R: "Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes."
Trust: I don't feel anyhting is happening if I am not directly involved.

Q2C: "What area of my life am i holding back from God."
- Releasing my lustful desires.
- My marriage
- Marie's salvation
- My career

Surrender is a word that I used when i was in my men's group last year. I wanted to surrender to everything going on around me. This is no coincidence that God wants this of me. I have major issues with being controlled. I have always tried to be greast at everything I did, instead of realizing that God gave me certain abilities and become secure and confident with those; surrender to God's makeup of me.

God's Grace and Mercy,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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lupolady, LoveNcare, singleguy,

Day 11
P2P: "God wants to be my best friend."
What an honor. I want that as well; but I feel I am always disappointing my friends.
This is what my mentor has been telling me at every Bible session we've had, "God wants a 'First Love relationship' with me."
Some of the qualities of a First Love Realtionship are:
- to constantly talk about them and with them
- to carry around pictures of them
- to tell others about them
- to know what they like and dislike
- to want to please them
- to want to spend time with them

V2R: "Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence Him."

Q2C: "What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to Him more throughou the day?"
- Set the alarm on my PDA
- Wear jewelry: crucifix, ring, etc.?
- Post-Its, Pics, Placing Godly items around me

I never thougth that God wanted to talk when I was doing minor tasks.
Through continual meditation: I have difficulty remmebering Scripture and its addresses. I am praying that God will Bless with a better memory overall; but for God's Word first.

God's Grace and Mercy,
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lupolady, LoveNcare, singleguy,

Day 12
P2P: "I'm as close to God as I choose to be."
My lustful desires get in the way. I enjoy love, sex closeness, and since I don't intend on having an affair ever again, and I choose not to/can't hug another female, I watch occassional lite porn on cable. THEN I FEEL GUILTY, ASHAMED and FEEL I LET GOD AND MYSELF DOWN. Why would God want to talk to me again? I broke yet another promise.

V2R: "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you."

Q2C: "What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?"
I have to give this alot of thought. I truly am a Roman Catholic [maybe Jewish ;-)] because when I break any committments I feel guilty...so...Iam slow to make any more committments.

This was the most insigthful chapter for me thus far. I always felt that if I cursed at God this was not right, and was a grievous sin.
Concerning the audacity mentioned on pg 94, I have always had/built a relationship with my bosses where I could speak my mind and let them know when I messed up as well as when they messed up. They knew this was not disrespect on my part. So why can't I do this with God?
Concerning faith mentioned on pg 95, I have faith that I am saved. I lack in faith that my marraige and marie will ever be saved.I have rec'd signs from God, but I see no movement from Marie. With my marriage I am a "Doubting Thomas".
I am scared to show my Christian actions because they push Marie even further away (if that is possible).
Concerning "wrestling with God" on pg 97, this is new and refreshing to me. I was always taught absolute, unconditional respect to God.
Concerning being passioante about God in my past, I believe I lost that passion and slowly started on my downhill spiral when I lost my viginity almost 20 years ago, to a woman 10 years my senior who wanted to "help me"; no love just sex.

God's Grace and Mercy,
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Day 13
P2P: "God wants all of me."
Scary. If I give Him my all, what is there left to give my children and my wife (when she accepts it)?

V2R: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your ind and with all your strength."

Q2C: "Which is more pleasing to God right now-my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?"
Private worship, because if the Word doesn't live in me and is reflected through me, how can I expect to share it with others and ring them into public worship.

I am afraid to show my emotions to God. Having said that, I had some great talks with God at work, and in the car today. I did get very emotional; crying and screaming at God, beggin Him to take away the pain; give me back my wife; save my wife; remove the lust from my heart so I won't offend Him anymore; thanked Him for my beautiful daughter, Noelle, who is so inquisitive about God and Jesus and wants to know more; my son Stefan, who is so independent (I hope he has as much spirit for the Spirit ;-) as his sister; that, if divorce be His Will, my wife won't break thier desire for God.

What a shift today for my self. Still a long way to grow <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God's Grace and Mercy,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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sg,lnc,ll,

My fingers are tired from so much posting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I have not been a good leader with this and I am sorry and ask for your support to be a better leader. I have been busy these past 4 days; building a new laptop, repairing my home network, being with my kids (watching the lunar eclipse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , BUT...I have doen each chapter each day. Some great "Stuff" in this book.

My wife started her new job (bakery) tonight so I don't know her schedule yet. BUT....I would like to schedule a call for tomorrow, Tuesday, at 8:00 PM EST until 10:00 PM, if that is OK with everyone. Post and let me know.

God's Grace and Mercy,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, and not alone Single <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !
Tomorrow night is fine with me TTSMM! Your post with you using single initials cracked me up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ! God knows all of your emotions, he knows your everymove. He just excepts our crying out to him whether it is anger, frustration or love. This pleases God to know you are human and that he created you!

Day 13 Worship that pleases God

P2P: God wants all of me.

Yes he did for along time and I turned my back to him. I know now that I have no other friend as close as he is to me. He wants all my heart, all my soul (I misspelled this over in my prayer it just hit me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ), all my thoughts, and all my strength and all my being! This takes effort and energy, but I am willing to continue with God's direction.

V2R: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" Mark 12:30
See above.

Q2C: Which is more pleasing to God right now - my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

I feel it does not matter where or when we worship God. It does depend on how we worship him. I believe he wants to be worshipped from our spirit, deep within your soul. God wants total truths not half witted comments, cry out to him with all your heart, live within his word.
This chapter about knocked me off my puter chair. I read late at night so dogs, cats and phone does not bother me - no coco tonight, out of it! I have diabetes, borderline so I use sugar free <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I wrote a prayer that Singleguy requested and when I read this chaper many hours later it took me back to the words that flooded my head and I had posted.
God is GREAT!

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ttsmm,

You have been a great leader. God is using all of us and this thread to do a great work!!!! Let Him do His job.
Let me ask you this: If you were perfect, what would God want you for? What would you need Him for? He is glorified when we are weak. He wants to be your hero, your rescuer, let Him be. That's when you will really get to know Him, when He is carrying you from the fire. You are trying to get your justification from man. You never will!!! Let God be your admirer. He is the only one who is not jealous of you, or trying to get something from you. Only His love is perfect, so seek it, and He will help you with the things of this world.

God Bless ttsmm
singleguy

PS: Will it be the same phone number and access code?

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Conference Details

Conference Start Date (edit): Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Conference Start Time (edit): 8:00 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Conference End Time (edit): 9:55 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Number of Participants (edit): 6
Type of Conference (edit): Web-Scheduled Standard
Participant Access Code (edit): 7877673
Conference Controls (edit): Conversation Mode (all participants can be heard)
Entry Chimes - Enabled
Exit Chimes - Enabled

I have reprimanded by the teleconf police <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> for overbooking the last two confs at 833%. Therefore, I am limiting this to only 6. This means sg, trying, lnc (w/ll) and 3 addl's. I ask that the 3 mentioend above log in a couple of minutes early in order to obtain those 3 slots.

Any guesses on what the access number above means? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God's grace and Mercy be bestowed upon you,
TTSMM <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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TTSMM,

By golly, I got it!!!!! It means " farm boys are awesome " !!!!!! That was nice of you!!!!! And so accurate!!!!!

singleguy

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Day 12

P2P: We move away from god when we think the alternative plan justifies our feelings. Instead of being under God's law, we want to be in addition to it. That was satan's downfall. God never moves, we do.

V2R: He is the wonderful father we all desire. Imagine Him sitting there with a joyful face and we just want to sit on His lap.

Q2C: This morning I asked God to forgive me for all the garbage that has come between us. The feelings of discouragement, and unbelief. I asked for a new beginning, right now, today, that we would walk hand in hand, and we would talk about things, things important to both of us. That we could have dialogue, and come to an understanding that was good and honorable. I asked that He would answer the prayers that I have prayed for so long. And that He would initiate reconciliation between my father and I.

God Bless
singleguy

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Hello TTSMM,
The acess code is the lady that comes on when call is answered and tells you to put in the access code.
Is the phone number **edit** still the same?

Thank you
God Bless you

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:43 AM. Reason: removing contact info

BS 53 WH 47 M 9 yrs together 11 H left 3/1/02, 3/31/02, 5/22/02 A found out 5/22/02 and maybe longer? Plan B 7/22/03, 8/10/03 May I have the strength and courage and as much faith to carry this to recovery! I have all the Love! LoveNCare
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All,
My brain went. I never confirmed it....but....we still have the same #'s.

Conference Details

Date: Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Start Time: 8:00 p.m. Eastern Std Time
End Time: 9:55 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Participants: 6
Type of Conference: Web-Scheduled Standard
Dial-in Number: **edit** (San Francisco, CA)
Participant Access Code: 7877673
Conference Controls: Conversation Mode (all participants can be heard)

Entry Chimes - Enabled

Exit Chimes - Enabled

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:43 AM. Reason: removing contact info

Story

I asked Jesus, How much do You love me? He said, This much., and spread out His arms and died.
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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Single,
Tonight was wonderful! So much to think about after our conversations! So glad lupolady joined us - I get alot out of you too! God Bless you Lupolady and I pray that your arms get better soon as you have much to deal with those children. I am luckier as I am not at work, but trying times here too.

TTSMM, Hang on tight as you have carried the cross and now are baring the weight of it. I do believe you will soon see more of this confusion, praise it as you know God is working his miracles. God Bless you in your fight. God Bless your children also.

Single, Are you sitting down? Remember telling us the meaning to your Biblical name?
Well the first one is my last name. Mine means Gift from God. Amen

Day 14 When God Seems Distant

P2P: God is real, no matter how I feel.

This means to me no matter what God is beside me, behind me, or in front of me. I know has an unchanging charater. He is good, He loves me, He cares, He already has a great plan for my life I just have to trust in him no matter what comes my way.

V2R: "For God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.' " Hebrews 13:5
God tests us and when you feel he is not there or not answering your prays, he is there! He just lets us figure out things sometimes to see how much faith we have in him.

Q2C: How can I stay focused on God's presence, expecially when he feels distant?

If you believe in God, then it is not hard to do this. I lost faith a good many years ago and will reveal this soon, but in times of problems (why in trouble times?) I always felt his presence. I never gave up on prayer just not totally obedient. MB and other sites turned me back and God has not left my side since. SINGLE I AM GOING TO SIT IN HIS LAP FIRST! Many good things have happened and I know more are coming. My life is in God's hands at this time, I do not try to rule it. If he has other plans then I accept this totally. He made me, he lives with me, walks with me and I trust him 100%.

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sg,lnc,ll,
Great call yesterday. I wish we ALL could have talked some more; but I guess the BOY from Iowa forgot to crank up the generator for his phones <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

As for me, just when the conver got onto D, my W walks thru the door, hence my silence and quick exit on the phone. I am sorry it was so abrupt. No coincidence...God's work. When ll said to not quit and retold the story of another WS, it hit me. Then when lnc mentioned "Default" on the D, is when W came home. God doesn't want me to get a lawyer? I am so confused <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Look forward to our next call. Which I would like to place a little control (wrong word <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) on. I would like us to reflect on the impact of the chapters read that week (both positive and negative - those we are enthuiastic about and those that scare the H out of us). We will still have time to chat about theology, and our personal lives afterwards.
ALSO, once these 40 days are thru and we part our ways....just kidding <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . Once these 40 days are thru, I would like to keep this call going and draw some others in from MB, and the other Marriage restoration sites out there. In fact one thing the Holy Spirit has called me to do is have a nation-wide MB call for 5-10 minutes where we all pray the Our Father and then mention, all at once, our spouses and children(s) names. Imagine 150 men and women saying the Lord's Prayer across the country at one time? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I will post the last 2 chapters later this evening.

God's Grace and Mercy be with you always,
TTSMM <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

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Hello TTSMM,
Your post was very interesting. I like the idea of the 15 minute call or more, for the sake of so many maybe joining us in prayer. Maybe post it on Rejoice Ministries. Maybe from there it would become world wide?
We do get off track on this book, but we do talk God's word. It is so interesting and gives more thought when the chapters are read. This call gives me more structure! I was away to long.
Yes it is funny how things are happening in your life and during our conversation.
I have to apologize to you and God for not asking him to Bless your wife in my last post. I went to bed and had to sit up when this came to me. I did say a prayer as she needs many to help confuss her more. God Bless you, your wife and children.

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Singleguy,
TTSMM to answer your question which I did not see about a Lawyer? I have readmany boards that say no we are not supposed to get a lawyer that we are supposed to let God be our Lawyer. So it is kinda left up to you and how you feel. Me I know these courts are laid back to say the least. They do not really protect you even when inocent. This is why I went to one and also here they will not let you in the court room without one, they will appoint you one. Good for you if the same cause a case would be postponed for a month or two or more? Hope I helped.

Day 15 Formed For God's Family

Yes God created everyone of us to join his Family, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Confusion though - I did not know we had to be " born again" to come into God's Family.
I guess it is because I am Episcopalian. We have been taught that we live God's way on earth, get baptized, die then go to heaven to join his family. Well was this like me not being 100% faithful and now I am back and have turned my life over to God?

V2R: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ"

I Understand this! Just was said different above then I had known!

Q2C: How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?

By treating them the very same way as we do our own family, in a Godly fashion.
Kindness, patience, respect, honor their wishes and needs if at all possible. Recognize they are our brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers. They will be in heaven!

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Singleguy!
Hey where is everyone - am I on the wrong post?
The wind blew here 55 miles an hour since lastnight and yes I have a dusting up snow!


Day 16 What Matters Most

P2P: Life is about Love.

Yup without it you have nothing. It gets lonely too! God made us this way, but look at this world today - so sad! So much war, not to forget the family's breaking apart. You go into a grocery store and the clerks are so rude. I think God is very sad at this time on earth. He made us to love everyone. Reconcile our differences and choose to walk more in his light. This has become such a hard hearted world and we have a choice to make it better by living by God's commandments and word.

V2R: "The entire law is summoned up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Galatians 5:14

Q2C: Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

Yes they are without family, friends and people what would life be like? Living way out here is hard as I do not see anyone - wave to a farmer friend once in awhile but unless I go 30 miles no one comes. This chapter kinda got me in the heart because that is who I am. I love people, animals, kids, family. Not having a spouse is hard. We were destined by God to love! I ensure that my family and friends are always welcome to call me if in need. I do my best to get there - gas money is tight lol, but they all know they could ask. If they call I will take the time to talk. Hate to see anyone not being able to talk when they need a shoulder or just to share good news!

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We decided to change not only postings but a different website as well. I guess they forgot to tell you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> lol

Naw. You've been the only one updating over the past few days....but here are mine.


Day 14
When God seems distant.


P2P: "God is real, no matter how I feel."
I know He is real. I just wonder sometimes if He cares about me. I guess I mean, I won't know why He is doing the things He is doing to me, or letting htem happen if He cares for me?

V2R: "For God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you."
Footprints.

Q2C: "How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when He feels distant?"
By remembering and thanking Him:
- Jesus died so I may live.
- God loves me.
- God has saved my physical life at least once (car accident when I was 10).

Thanking God (worshiping Him) when I am in pain IS very difficult for me. With God, I can't say, "What have You done for me lately?"
Pgs: 108-109 "Spiritual gloom" This truly scares me. I only started experiencing God's presence the last 12-14 months. It is comforting and helps get me through the pain.
Pg: 109 I had a "near-death" experience when I was 10, I KNOW there is a God. But back in December, (read my postings when I first joined MB), I was full of so much despair that I didn't believe in Him any longer.
Pg: 109 "Seeking an experience rather than God" Ouch.

God's Grace and Mercy,
Trying

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Day 15
Formed for God's Family

P2P: "I was formed for God's family."
When I read/think about this, I can't help but be sad for Marie, because she is NOT part of God's family right now.

V2R: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into Hiw own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ."

Q2C: "How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?"
- No conflict/anger
- Sharing
- Supporting/helping
- Praying
- inspriing others

God's Grace and Mercy,
Trying

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Day 16
What matters most

P2P: "Life is all about love."
I now understand the Steven Curtis Chapman son, "It's All About Love".

V2R: "The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."
Very difficult for me when I know my neighbor is wrong.

Q2C: "Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?."
Not really, but often times, Yes; but when I get home from work, I'm exhausted, there is so much to do: chores, bills, computer, etc.
For Family
- Spend time with the kids
- Listen to Marie and the kids when they need to talk
- DON'T BE JUDGEMENTAL - This brings negative emotions to the relationship, causing me to want to spend LESS time with that person
I pray God will give me energy so I have the time for relationships and still get the other things done.
- Take time to tuck them into bed
- Less TV
- Read to them
For Others and Family
- Find opportunities to help
- Volunteer
- Empathy/Listening

- Call the people I love

I was brought up by my parents to "Love everyone". This is why I enjoy doing things for others, it makes them happy and it is an expression of my love for others.
Sadly, in today's world, Loving everyone is so cliche or so 60's weird. I believe in unconditional love, and I let Marie take that away from me; and when it got to be too much, I strayed. The A was out of not getting the appreciation for the love I was giving. Love had become CONDITIONAL for me.

When I told a friend form my former men's group I was looking for a job where I can use my God-given gifts to benefit others, he told me: "You are a people-person." I always felt I was. But I LET the world take that away from me.

In case you haven't noticed, this chapter speaks the most to me. My favorite shape in the world is what?


THE HEART

God's Grace and Mercy (and my heart) to you all,
Trying

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Guys and Gals,

Please forgive me. I have been working out of the office and have been putting in some long days this week. Just stopped to grab a file qiuck, but will post soon.

TTSMM, are you getting my emails? I haven't heard back from you on three of them. I have stuff to send you.

God Bless
singleguy

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Hello TTSMM, LUpolady, Single,
Thank you TTSMM! When I first sarted reading your posts my heart went to my feet - I thought I had missed another thread or something where I supposed to be! Well whew!
Single apology accepted!


Day 17: A Place to Belong

P2P: I am called to belong, not just believe.

To follow Christ includes belonging to a church which is the body of Christ.

V2R: "In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all others."
Romans 12:5

I think this means that we join a Church and each member is a believer we all help each other and the church.

Q2C: Does my level of involement in my local Church demonstrate that I love and am commited to God's family?

My involement is as much as expected at this time. I go to a service with my Mom at present once a month to help with the elderly. The Church service is of my own faith.
At this time I can not go 30 miles a week with the financial problems I am having. I did ask God to help and am sure in time things will get better. There is a very small Gospel Church off these hills that I am going to join. This Church speaks to me everytime I go by it.

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My Brother and Sisters,
I don't feel like posting the "Purpose" stuff tonight. I will tomorrow.
Tonight, I just want to share.
First, thanks sg for our talk on the phone. It was good to hear. Second, my W came home about a half hour after we ended. She wanted to talk.

She started by wanting to discuss who was going to take what weekend for themselves away from the kids. I did not respond but just listen, as I was doing some painting around the house. She then mentioned that we needed to work that out in case I wanted to go out with friends, or if I had a date. I stopped painting and looked at her with my undivided attention. I said a quick prayer to God to HOLD MY TONGUE.

She said with the pending D, that it would be understandable if I was to be seeing other women and how could I not be. She said that perhaps she might want to go out in the future herself. The conversation was all over on a variety of what I had done to her. At one point I told her that I know I did truly hurt her. She cried, she got angry, she told me why she is D'ing me. She thinks the way I am acting right now is an act; besides, you're a sex addict. She told me she never really loved me. Her ego and pride are deeply destroyed by what I did. She doesn't know if she is hurt because of her pride or because she must have really loved me.

Somewhere in the middle of this when she was talking about needing someone, I said that that was understandable, that God created us to want to be with someone of the opposite sex. She said that that was another reason, because I am getting back into my religion and I should have just said that we (men and women) desire to have someone in their life; not to mention God all the time. We both need an equal baseline: you have religion and you should look for someone who is religious and that I (she) wants to find someone who is in to music as much as she is (she had a heavy EA with her personal trainer [also a musician] and still thinks about him every now and then, although she says he is alot like me - a PLAYER [lol - me a player]). Btw, before her trainer came into the picture, I thought we were working on saving this. Another thing she brought up was that she has finished going through all of the emotions associated with knowing your H has cheated on you; therefore, she is ready to move on.

My responses (scattered about through this talk): I am not giving up and all I can do is ask you to take me back; I love you, that everything I am doing is real and not an act; that I am not seeing anyone and have no desire or intention to be with anyone else. If you take me back, you have set up paremeters, and I will have to follow them, period. (I said this because she was upset because I was chatting with some women at the Halloween party. She was sitting at the table and one of the women started a conversation of religion, so I sat down and joined the conversation with all of them - INCLUDING MY WIFE).

The pressure of keeping silent was too much so when she said that most women would feel the same way as her, I told her that NO, most women stay after an A, but they have the right to ask their H where he is all the time for the five years. "Oh that is the time limit?" I told her No, that I was using that as an example.

She feels she was a good/great W, and that what she learned is that she should have been easier with her criticisms about me. She was only trying to change me for my own good. She said she won't make that mistake ever again. Problem here is she thinks I had the A because of her criticism and controlling me. Only a small part. Because I loved her, my W, so much and she wouldn't kiss me because of crooked teeth and said I was not a good kisser, my ego, pride and heart were shattered. Yes we had our problems, BUT, this just pushed me over the edge (BUT IT WAS MY CHOCIE TO CHEAT). <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Finally, I said "I am married to you for life. I will never marry someone else. If those are the consequences, so be it." She thinks I am crazy. I walked away because I did not want to get into an argument, and I told her that.


My personal POV: she says she never loved me one minute and then later on she says she might be hurt because she did love me; opening up and crying to me, sharing her feelings; talking to me AT ALL. I DON'T THINK IT IS OVER. What I do believe though is that Satan has her under his control and is slowly losing his grip. When one of the pts she makes is that I am getting back into my religion and she doesn't believe and equates that to finding someone who is into and knowlegable about music like she is, the devil is starting to lose.

OR - I am a total blind idiot.

God's Grace, Mercy, Love, Strength, Peace, Understanding, Forgiveness, Acceptance, and the countless other Heavenly Gifts be bestowed upon my Wife, Marie and myself,
Thanks for listening/reading,
tryingTOsaveMYmarriage

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TTSMM,

If the only thing we did on this thread was to save your marriage, then we could truly say we did move mountains!!!! And I would be tickled pink. [Run with it, S&C] Yes, I think your wife has been thinking about a lot of things, including the future, and what it would be like without you. She DOES love you, but she is also deeply hurt by what has been done. Her flesh [devil] is telling her it can't be. But your saying you are committed to her, and that you will never marry anyone else also impacted her as though the Holy Spirit was talking to her. Women want devotion, and she is sorting thru whether she wants to justify her hurt and anger and leave, or how to work thru the complicated maze of putting things back together. [flesh versus the spirit] Her remark about you dating another woman was actually a dig, or a putdown caused by her anger. I believe if you would leave little love notes around where she can find them, it will help win back her heart. SLOWLY!!!

Heavenly Father, You know Trying's heart. He comes humbly before You asking for mercy, a second chance to continue the covenant he made with his wife. Lord,speak to her heart, overcome the hardness that has taken ahold of her, penetrate to the very core of her soul, and destroy the grip of the enemy. Father God, we ask in united agreement that you would hear and honor our prayers, that we might all see Your mighty hand of mercy and grace, Your unconditional love be poured out upon this family. Show Trying's wife thru earthly examples that divorce solves nothing, and that in fact causes more harm than good. Show her Lord, that she can forgive and overcome the injustice that has been done. That her forgiveness can restore her marriage back to better than it ever was. Teach her to love Trying again. I bind the enemy and his evil schemes off of this marriage, and we lose all the forces of heaven to it's restoration. In Jesus name. Amen

God Bless Trying
singleguy

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sg,
All I can say is, thanks (joyous <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> ).

I jst came back from Mass and it was very sad for me. I saw many couples holding hands and being in love with eachother. I cried.
There was one funn note. Every week when I go up to communion, my S (3 yrs) gets upset because he is not allowed to receive. Well this week the priest makes a comment (closing words) about two young children who were upset about not receiving the Eucharist. I knew he was talking about my little one and so did everyone in my row. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Thank you again, singleguy (as well as everyone else) for your kind prayers.

God's Almighty Love fill you all,
TTSMM

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TTSMM,

sg said all the important stuff. You're W is looking for for you to be devoted to her. One thing I will tell you, and nearly all the old timers here will echo this, it takes "time and consistancy" on your part to convince her you are real. She needs you to be the person that is "safe, loving, strong, "steadfast" in your commitment to her", whatever it is that makes deposits into her Love Bank. And it needs to be done over enough time that she trusts that you are no longer the person you used to be.

I wouldn't worry about the religion issue. You can be Godly and not speak "religionese". Jesus did it all the time when He spoke in parables. He used things the ungodly could relate to, showing them them it was God's love that they needed.

BTW - it is the love of God that your W deep down is really looking for. I read a book called "The Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge; the talks about our desire that is quenchable only by the "wild, passionate love of God". We/She tries to satisfy this desire by substituting other things. Whether it is You, OM, alcohol... whatever; these are "less wild lovers" and cannot quench this desire. Only the wild, passionate love of God can do that. That includes getting her most important needs met by you. That's right my friend, God Himself has designed you to be the person to meet those most important needs (no matter how long it took you to figure it out). Hey, it took me 17 years to get it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

If you have some free time; after you are done with "The Purpose (7877673) Driven Life"; I'd like to recommend a few books (some you might already have). "Power of a Praying Husband", "The Sacred Romance", "Wild at Heart" and "Knowing the Mind of a Woman". All are excellent books along the line of PDL (Purpose Driven Life). ...Praying Husband, I think is a must now if you aren't already using it. The prayers, when prayed from the heart are a powerful tool to help bring your W back to a relationship wiht Christ.

Bless you and be strong.

S&C

<small>[ November 17, 2003, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]</small>

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Day 17
A Place to Belong

P2P: "I am called to belong, not just believe."

V2R: "In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to the others."

Q2C: "Does my level of involvement in my local church demonstrate that I love and am committed to God's family?"

It's difficult to be involved with the church when only one of us believes. But I intend to bring this book to the church, as well as the First Person Portrayals. Also to attend some of the Adult Faith Enrichment nights (one this Tuesday).

God's Grace and Mercy be with you all,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Day 18
Experiencing Life Together

P2P: "I need others in my life."
Without a doubt.

V2R: "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ."

Q2C: "What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level?
I already feel I do.
My life is an open book:
- Lifespring
- SMW/MDI
- Men's circle
- My workmates
- My friends
- My family

Interestingly enough, the first person I started not to be honest with was Marie. When I was honest, her disapproval and judging became too much.

Pg 138: "Size: This means our weekly phone call is a fellowship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Pgs 139-140: "Authenticity and Masks" I enjoy this kind of interaction. I don't like wearing masks and I don't like being around people who wear masks. WE ARE ALL HUMAN and ALL OF US HAVE PROBLEMS AND ISSUES so DON'T BE PHONEY!
Pg 141: "As Holy people...be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient." Great words to live by...BUT...difficult to put in into everyday practice...AND...I am trying.
Pgs 142-143: "Mercy" "Remember, you will never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you." This should be written on my hands, feet and the inside of my eyelids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

God's Grace and Mercy be with you all,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Day 19
Cultivating Community"

P2P: "Community requires committment."

V2R: "We understand what love is when realize that Christ gave His Life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers."

Q2C: "How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and my church?"
By being the first to share my story, my faults, my fears (being an example). Creating the space where others can open up.

Pg 145: "Unhealthy relationships" When I compare my W's family to mine, yeah they didn't fight or have loud arguments, BUT, they were false with each other. Right now, her family never backs anyone up. Out of guilt, they are agreeing to her, in thier own way, to her D'ing me. My family argued, were disrespectful (outward appearences) to each other, got into some drag out fights. But...we rarely held grudges, or brought up the past, etc.
Pg 146: "Honesty" Except for a few lies when I was younger, I always spoke the truth. I did have the occassional white lie, and the rare big one to CYOA. As I commented in the last chapter, I am unsure why, but after I met Marie, I became a good lier. When I was honest I received sharp-tongued criticism. I did not want to put myself through that all the time.
Pg 147: "Conflict" We (I was) aer never taught how to handle conflict. I was able to with my family growing up, but those same techniques did not work with my W.
Pg 148: "Humility - admitting my weaknesses" When I addmitted these weaknesses to my W, rather than creating intimacy, it destroyed it.
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." Another one to staple to the forehead (need more room up there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ).
Pg 151: "Nine characteristics of fellowship" What is interesting is before I was reborn in my Catholic/Christian faith I was part of a Men's team where we aspired to all of these fellowship traits. However, God was NOT present and there were many underlying agendas and politics.

God's Grace and Mercy be with you all,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Before my re-birth, I would ask God? or just wishful thinking for something to happen to my W because of her not wanting to reconcile. After every fight, I would wish the worse on her. I was being vindictive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Strangely enough, I pray for her health and protection every day now, but I still wish her some illness(or affliction). This might sound sick/weird, who knows...so bear with me a moment. My reasoning is because God doesn't seem to draw people who don't need Him. If you are well, welloff, happy, etc. you feel you have no reason for God, so you never seek Him out. Again I thought this idea was still round-a-bout cruel. I was thinking about it last night when I was driving to the store. When I got home, I sat down to read some more of Job. Within the first two minutes, I came across...
"Why do the wicked survive, grow old, become mighty in powere?...Yet they say to God, 'Depart from us, for we have no wish to learn your ways'...How often does destruction come upon them, the portion he allots in His anger." Job 21:7-17

So why would my W want to seek God, if everything is OK in her life; if she had her health, could manage the kids, could amke a good income for herself, etc?

Am I way offbase in my logic here? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Btw, she has been physically ill four times in the last three months, and I have been there to help her get better.

God's grace and Mercy be with you all,
Trying <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Hello TTSMM, Lupolady, Single,
Sorry for not being on for a few days and may need a few more. Probably Thurday I will catch up all. I have a mess right now and am behind. dealing with two very angry lawyers because from the begining I told them no divorce and they went and did countersuits that I knew nothing about. Now I have court Dec 19 and a big mess to clean up. I am shook from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. This push on their part for divorce and of all things they insist I do Bankruptcy! This just did not let me sit and be good. Boy they came up against the wrong girl. I was polite and was told I was kind, but I was very God direct! It was amazing the feelings of being pulled in half by good and bad. Good won! They finally gave in with me asking 100 times if they had faith in God, if they were God loving men, ect. They told me they would do what ever I wanted, but thought I was wrong. I am not wrong I married my husband with the words of God and I will not sign anything. Not now or in twenty years. They said they thought I was wrong bc he cheated on me. I explained how God works. Oh my this went on for over 2 hours - yikes nice bill. Oh well it is only money. My marriage is worth more than that to me. Now I have to figure out where to dig up 5-10 thousand dollars to fight this. Maybe after this next court trip I will let them go and do it on my own. What more can I loose right? Husband lost his job and they tell me my support will be cut in half. I can not afford this but .... .
I will not be joining you this week on phone night if it is Tues? I will have 4 G kids. Two are still babies.
Just thought I would let ya know I am ok I guess and will return soon. Had a mess with my addict son too. He called me a Bible Thumper! I only told him he had to get ahold of someone or something to help him get over this drug addiction and I did tell him God would help. This is a praise report too as he did go back to his wife after many prayers and 14 months. I worry so about this 37 year old!


TTSMM, Please do not ask God to do this as it is not God that would do anything like that, it is satan. Satan is the only one who could make people sick and fool you into thinking it was God. Does this make sense? Satan is cunning and I saw it today. Please be careful Brother. God Bless you and your family.

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The call will be Thursday at 8:00 PM EST, if that is ok with y'all? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I am going to an Adult Faith Enrichment meeting at my church tonight.

God's grace, Love and Mercy be upon us,
TTSMM

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TTSMM,

Yes, LNC is right. Don't be hoping for a bad event to happen to your wife. Your job as her husband is to be the priest of the home. And all you may get is a chance to pray for her right now, but that is enough. Pray sincerely, and God will convict her heart. If God can give Saul a Damascus Road experience, and change him into Paul, He can change your wife too. You can't be good and bad in this, it must be one or the other. What would happen if you open a door and she would become a cripple in some way. And now she is more angry with God than before. The bible says we are blessed when we bless our enemies. She isn't actually your enemy, but her heart is against you right now. Do what S&C said about proving to her you have changed and let God heal her heart.

Love Ya Brother
singleguy

<small>[ November 18, 2003, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

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LNC,

I will pray for you. Maybe God wanted you to witness to these attorneys!!! Even if He didn't, you did anyway!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You Go Girl
God Bless
singleguy

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Hi Single,
Thank you for your prayers!
Yes I believe that God has used in many situations lately <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ! It has been a tough week for me. My Son is still home and returned to work today. He is battling the drugs (satin) and confusion. I know how he feels, but I am not on drugs. These are all very hard calls! Grands are great - so much fun!
I had 1 1/2 hours again today on the phone with one lawyer to finish blocking this divorce up. I have husband where he can not move. No divorce, nothing divided until I consent - no way! I am not being mean which I am sure he will believe this, I am giving him lots of time to correct and want his marriage and time for me and God. My poor lawyers are about crazy with me, but did say today they never knew who they were up against. NY State is a good place to live when you want to contest! It costs but what the heck once they get my paper work done and into the court then I think I will be able to let them go.
Had another problem today with my Bone Specialist! He saw me last in Sept. He told me I had circulatory problems in my wrist from the incident of being twisted. A MRI and two more xrays showed the damaged bone! Now he has talked to comp and all of a sudden it is not that anymore and THINKS it is arthritis setting in. HE DID NOT DO AN XRAY TODAY! Gosh here I go again got to call that lawyer (different one) and begin another battle! Boy if someone can be tested by God I sure have been.

God Bless you
LNC

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Hey guys and gals,

You're exploits have caught the eyes of others. Vega and maybe believer may be interested in getting involved in a group doing an online study of The Purpose Driven Life. They'er discussing it on this thread.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=010230;p=1#000006

Bless ya'll, more than youcan stand. Aloha.

S&C

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Conference Details

Date: Thursday, November 20, 2003
Start Time: 8:00 p.m. Eastern Std Time
End Time: 9:25 p.m. Eastern Std Time
Participants: 6
Type of Conference: Web-Scheduled Standard
Dial-in Number: **edit** (San Francisco, CA)
Organizer Access Code: *416972
Participant Access Code: 7877673
Conference Controls: Conversation Mode (all participants can be heard)

Entry Chimes - Enabled

Exit Chimes - Enabled

Last edited by MBLBanker; 02/19/12 04:46 AM. Reason: removing contact info

Story

I asked Jesus, How much do You love me? He said, This much., and spread out His arms and died.
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Day 20
Restoring Broken Fellowship

P2P: "Relationships are always worth restoring."
I am nervous on what steps I need to take to restore mine (marriage). I don't like conflict, because once I am in conflict, I fight to win. A lesson God wants me to learn from?

V2R: "Do everyting possible on your part to live in peace with everybody."

Q2C: "Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?"
- Marie (my W)
- Jerome (MDI) he is vey controlling and overpowering. We have gotten into many confrontations because I don't like he tries to control me. I reached out with his local church and he never answered.
- Andrew K, long time, no talk.
- Bobby K, same.
- John Rodriguez, Rich Petrone, Rich Titone, Rocky, others from CCTG.
- Jorge, Andrew H., Krafty, Ed B., others from MDI.

It's tough to call so many people who I am no longer in contact with. Do I chalk this up to part of my past and move on or not?

This chapter had WAY TOO MANY CLICHES. This made it difficult to concentrate.

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 21
Prtotecting Your Church

P2P: "It is my responsibility to protect the unity of my church."

V2R: "Let us concentrate on the things that make for harmony and the growth of our fellowship together."

Q2C: "What am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now?"
Nothing. I am not involved as I would like. See two chapters ago - difficult when only one spouse is a believer.

Pg 163: "Choose to encourage rather than criticize" I have sat on the sidelines many times in my life. I had the nickname of "Almost" when I did an adult LIFE course called "LifeSpring" back in the mid-80's. This was because I would put myself in "second-in-command" position in various aspects of my life. This way I could take the credit with the leader when things went great and side with the team, when things went wrong and point fingers at the leader.

I have to remember, "It starts with me, BUT, it's not about me." Ex: See how our "Purpose" phone call has evolved.

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 22
Created to Become Like Christ

P2P: "I was created to become like Christ."

V2R: "As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him and reflect His Glory even more."

Q2C: "In what area of my life do I need to ask for the Spirit's Power to be like Christ today?"
- Patience
- Truth of my past
- Gossip (listening mostly)
- Fogiveness

Pg 173; "...life is suppose to be difficult! It's what enables us to grow. Remember, earth is not heaven." I know that in my heart, BUT, I still would like to be happy while I am here. Not experience SO MANY issues and tests.
Pg 174; "You can not produce the character of Jesus oo your own strength. ... He often nudges us with "a gentle whisper". ... ...these things are always available for the asking." I DO want the Holy Spirit working on my heart and talking to/through me. I just have not heard His voice yet. I see/experience signs, but no distinct voice from Him.

I read this chapter right after my "strange dream" last week.

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 23
How We Grow

P2P: "It is never too late to start growing."
I believe this. We are always learning every day. When I was an actor, I still went to some classes, to learn more to understand how to use my instrument (me, my emotions, etc.) more effectively on stage. When you (I) stop learning, you (I) start dying.

V2R: "Let god transform you inwardly by a complex change of the mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and what is pleasing to Him and is perfect."
I pray for that mind shift. I am not always pleased with my thougths. My mind is sometimes full of the most bizarre thoughts. I will share on our next phone call if anyone's interested.


Q2C: "What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way and start thinking God's way?"
- Masturbation (is it a sin?)

Pg 180: "Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you." My commitment to porn (past) outweighed my commitment to Marie; that is why my marriage is failing.
Pg 180: "Every choice has eternal consequences, so you had better choose wisely." I will start making the right choices again.
Pg 180: "You can be certain that the Holy Spirit will help you with these changes." I need to pray to the Holy Spirit more. Even though I believe in the Holy Trinity, I have a mental block praying to the Holy Spirit.
Pg 181: "Be careful what you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts." I need to remove hate, anger, malice; and replace it with love, giving, sacrafice.
Pg 182: "...stop thinking immature thoughts, which are self-centered and self-seeking." I want Marie to be saved. Of course I would like to reap the rewards from that as well - a better, happier, more fulfilled marriage. What I have to see/accept is that MAYBE, God will save her after we are divorced; or by the next man she marries. I may not be in her immediate plans for salvation. Will I be OK/understanding and accepting if she is saved but the marriage is not. Honestly, I WANT both.

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 24
Transformed by Truth

P2P: "The truth transforms me."

V2R: "If you continue in My Word, then you are my disciples indeed; and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."

Q2C: "What has God already told me in His Word that I haven't started doing yet."
Literally, being truhtful.
Within the various 12-step programs out there, a addcict is told to right the wrongs he/she has done by approaching/confessing/asking for forgiveness for those he/she has wronged. However, if the truth would cause more pain (because certain things were not revealed earlier on) refrain from this until the relationship is stronger. This is a paraphrase.
There are some things (exact dates - A was three months earlier than I originally told my W [duration is the same]; how many online A's [no physical contact] I had; another EA that didn't go PA because she [my W] called at the right time). I have never told my W because I wanted the "security" of a counselor present. But she made every excuse to not have us go to therapy together, so I chickened out.
Do I say something now and bring her over the edge? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Interesting, no underlines or notes in this chapter.

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 25
Transformed by Trouble

P2P: "There is a purpose behind every problem."
Growing up, "In every adversity, there are the seeds of equal or better benefit."

V2R: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

Q2C: "What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?"
My pending divorce and the circumstances that lead to it.
I have come back to Jesus Christ and His Church; I am a "Born Again Catholic" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pg 197: "We know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character.' If, Patience is a virture. I am definintely not very virtuous. Like many/most men; I see a problem, I come up with a solution, problem is resolved, I move onto next problem. I don't have time to spend (waste) on one problem very long.
Pg 197: The entire page is very humbling. How can I expect that I will get off with less trials and experiences than Christ did?
Pg 198: "It is vital that you stay focused on God's plan, not your pain or your problem." I am going to come out of this a better man.
Pg 199: "God never leaves us on our own." FOOTPRINTS!

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Day 26
Growing Through Temptation

P2P: "Every temptation is an opportunity to do good."

V2R: "God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."
Patience and Testing, two words that I must be willing to absorb and assimilate into my life. My W, and my life, are costantly testing me. I need to past these tests.

Q2C: "What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?"
- Self control over lust
- Patience over finding the easy way out

Pgs 201-202: The fruits. Here are the one I know I need more help with than others.
- Joy (I let others - my W more than anyone else - regulate my joy)
- Peace (with the turmoil in my M, God may have forgiven me my sins, but because my W has not, I am rarely at peace)
- Patience (see above)
- Faithfulness (I am now 100% faithful to my W [I feel - pride?!?!?], but with my Christian faith - I am still growing - I am not ready to shout from the rooftops - my image, in the eyes of others, is in the way)
- Gentleness (not always, could be calmer while still teaching my children)
- Self-control (see above)

Pg 205: "You can be attracted or EVEN AROUSED without choosing to sin by lusting." This is very difficult to fully comprehend and put into practice. God did make the human body very beautiful and tempting to the eye. I find myself shying away from looking at any other woman if I am suppose to be tryingTOsaveMYmarriage.
Pg 206: Praying and bad thoughts come into my head. I never looked at it as a temptation; I thought I was just being evil; not that Satan wass placing those thoughts in my head. This is refreshing to know.
Pg 207: "Request God's help" I forget that God hass so much love for me that He is patience is everlasting. He doesn't tire of having to rescue me from the same perdicament all the time; unlike mankind who say, "yYu still haven't learned your lesson on that. What are you, stupid?"

God's Blessings,
Trying

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Let's play a game of follow the leader. Where is everybody?

sg,
I see you posting on various topics, but not on this thread.

lnc,
???

ll,
You have completely disappeared.

Are we all getting complacent in our diligence with this book? I know I was.

With this being a short week, do you want to have the call on Tuesday or Friday? I am unsure about either day with my W's schedule.

I hope and pray to see and hear from you real soon.

God's Blessings and the Nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit be upon all of you,
tryingTOsaveMYmarriage

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Well, after all the work I am doing on myself, I blow it with my W. I was trying to let her know that she needs to ease up on the kids (criticism). She said she turned on OK, not like you (me). I won't elab on the details, but, I let her know that all/most of the neighbors think she is wrong for having waited until we got the house to file. I said this after she verbally attacked my F and faith.
Wrong all the way around for me.
How can she ever be saved, let alone the M.
Even though I prayed for the fruits today, I can say that when I was started the conversation, I was trying to prove her wrong. Where was the love in that?
I hate myself for this.

Trying...to pull my M back together. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

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Hello TTSMM,
I am with you and yes we are way behind in this book. I have had such upsets with lawyers that I could not get done what I needed to do. Last call I sat on the couch waiting for the time to call in and I fell asleep. I get wore with the fights too!
I am so sorry for your pain. Your family is beautiful! I saw your picks. It is better seeing and praying. It feels more right? Did you ever think that when you fight with your W that you maybe giving in to the devils way and not God's? Just a thought here.
If you did not indulge her with fighting back where would it go? I do know those poor kids need someone to stand up for them - maybe another way though? Behind a closed door - when she is not home? I guess I am lucky in a way as my WH has been gone now for 19 months. I miss him terribly, but the fights he picked drove me insane! I did learn not to go there and it helped. I wish there was an answer to your problems, I am sure there is , but it has to come from God. Hang in there as we all know how hard you try. God Bless all of you and give you the strength to hold your faith tight.

Your prayer call thought is great!
10-10-987.com is only 3 cents a min!

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Everyone,

I think it would be a good idea to take a break from the book for a while. Everyone needs to focus on the holidays and getting back to a more solid emotional footing. I want to have as good a holiday season as possible, and I want everyone else to too. Right now I am working long days and then I am helping an assisted living facility get ready for the holidays, so I am home very little. It is my desire to help and encourage people, but I have to keep my batteries charged too, if you know what I mean. So I am going to just post as I can for a while, at least until the holidays are over. If the rest want to continue with the book, I will not be offended. I will be gone every night this week, but I will try to post and stay connected. God bless everyone!!! Happy Holidays!!!!

singleguy

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All,
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving; mine was very good from all apsects.

I have not missed a day reading thus far, but I have in posting every day. I am going to continue this book to the end. Many times I have begone a book, or a program, or something that required me to be DISCIPLINED. I feel that God wants me to continue this without fail. I am bringing this to my pastor this week to lead a group in January (one - maybe two chapters a week). I also bought "Power of a Praying Husband" and I want to start that as soon as I am done with "Purpose".

I will post my days, if you want or I can add them when all of you commence after the holidays.

Again, I start and don't finish things (like being faithful in other areas of my life), so I am not going to let the devil get his way again. I am going to finish this as I promised to you, myself and especially to God.

God's Blessings,
Trying...

PS Even if you are not continuing the book right now, we can still have a weekly phone call to check in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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The Purpose Driven Life is a wonderful book. I read the book last year along with my entire church of about 2,000 people. There is also a journal that you can purchase for under $10. This journal is perfect for writing the thoughts for the day. I also used a highlighter to highlight the scriptures in my bible. This was a wonderful book for everyone and it can be read twice. Our church will be reading it again soon.

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A think the lord actually used this book as a "sign" to guide me. I ordered it today. Me and H have had a real spiritual journey in past week, with a lot of why questions.
I was going through turmoil trying to decide between two jobs on top of that. I was hearing about this book, from my mom and sister. I kept it in the back of my mind.
I had kept both jobs and was trying to decide. I worked at one last week, and the week before juggled the two.
Well: Last week, the job I was going to, I saw so much sin. People were all going home after work to just get drunk, because they were mad. I felt a certain element there, that I did not fit in with.
The week before: I was at the other job and I felt real peace about it, and Love when I went in to be with management. (It is a christian affiliated facility) This morning, I talked to the boss on the phone, and out of casual conversation, she told me that she only works part time because her full time work with H is evangalism. I told her Awesome. She said the purpose driven life really has been helping her. I told her I was ordering it anyhow, and about some of my background. She says once I am into it more, feel free to call so we can really discuss it if I want.
I made my decision about the jobs. I was well informed in more than just that, but I think that God led the way, and I am getting a big raise out of it.

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Blended,

That is a great praise report. We all need to here the "rewards" that come from walking a Christian life. Thank you for the encouragement that takes us farther on our journey with the Lord. No man is an island, and we must lift each other up!!!!

God Bless
singleguy

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That's wonderful, Blended! I'm glad you heard God's voice & followed Him! Thanks for setting a good example. Praise the Lord!

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I FINISHED THE BOOK, in 40 DAYS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

First commitment I have kept in a LONG time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I called my pastor and left him a message, that I wanted to give back to the church, for thier prayers and support, by leading a 40-week gathering on this book. I will call him later today to discuss with him.

Today, this evening, I start the "Power of a Praying Husband".

My fellow Purposefuls,
I would still like to have our weekly phone call to support eachother in our faith and fellowship and lives. Let me know if you want to continue these?
Also, S&C, Hurting..., Hopeful, and otehrs, let me know if you would like to gather on a 30 minute+ telecall to support eachother.

God's Blessings,
tryingTOsaveMYmarriage

<small>[ December 08, 2003, 08:05 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

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