Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another for resolution to our marriages and our lives. Every Wed. we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matt 18:20.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.


Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: -.{137 Prayer Warriors and counting}
cajunky . Ezra . Willgetthruthis . Godisincontrol . Natasha79 . JohnC . NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done) . Wallace . relady . steadfast and committed . morriggs . lupolady . stillwaiting . Broken Hearted . PasDeDeux . hopeful_person . GinnyF . justpeachy . cry2much . SNL . LostAgain (Dave&April) . Dodger (Rtron) . gloriachu . LoveNcare . JMF . WEN . NiteHawk . Absurd . LetSTry . AgainsttheWind . cemmerson . getting better . kellidiane . Terrified . BeeLee . idostylin . Resilient . thiscantbehappening . day by day . Jloves . broken x3 . Sue with Hope . sunrise1 . shepette . Malc . Faithfulwife . timbo-e . Angelia . FeelingAllAlone . broken_joe . dopey . awake . truly a friend . Is it to late . stilltryingtosaveit . landslide . GODBLESSU . vega . LoyalWarrior . janna-m-r . ferbie . epiphOny . simmy . cajeanie . d_rose . lost_lonely . briank4775 . mayflower . Caged_Bird . LunaDove . goldielocks109 . darwud . Mrs. Darwud . Zuzus Petals . adamv . Army Hubby . Gail (mojodiva) & Shane . bonnie five & H . TryingToKeepHope . Hopeful98 . lghoping . SoTired (Mike & Trish) . evega . Douglas and Kirsi Nielson . Jessicafl27 . kimmy2 . auntielala . weezy8550 . miserynmissouri . STBXWife . sealfan . Jen Brown . SMIAJ . cinderella . GreggC . trying_to_accept . solon . serenitydipity . ilia . lonejrock . anchorhugger . Prayer & Patience . Chikar . Alex6 . Hopeforamiracle . fishlady . rookie . Made A Mess of Things . *DeepSigh* . boden . new comittment . deeplyhurting . jeff15679 . Bob Castaldi . k57mo . skottyjay (Scott and Melody) . TROD (Tony and Julie) . thisso . ladysheep . hurtmorethanheknows . singleguy . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage . Keesley . recovering_dad . Terrianna . javaContour . BH . Cheryls . cherry log . AD. . Suebee . REJECTED . LoveMyEx . LostHusband . kings kid . kwhittle . vividwhisper .

Prayers Answered: Most current first.
Terrianna (daughter not moving away) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife is back and we are planning to renew our wedding vows in our church) . tryingTOsaveMYmarraige (D is interested in the Christian music I am listening to and asks a lot about God) . hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation) . GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it) . WGTT (WH coming home) . d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.) . Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that “just LOVES me”) . tsc (marriage being restored) . janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man) . Stillwaiting (Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened) . Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.) . cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me) . Free (Marriage Restoration begun ) . Againstthewind (Got job) . betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery) . WGTT (accepted into mentor program) . Movingonwithlife (Wife coming home) . cry2much(sucessful surgery) . Steadfastandcommitted (first string again) . Lupolady (air conditioner) .


Building Blocks to a Strong Marriage


The next five….as promised

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When God made marriage, He formed a lifelong relationship that was to find its strength and endurance in Him. Over time, He used the wisdom of His Word to teach husbands and wives how to be friends to their mates. In the process, He gave all of us an understanding of the essential building blocks to a strong marriage. They are:

1. Lifelong Commitment
2. Shared Identity
3. Absolute Faithfulness
4. Well-Defined Roles
5. Unreserved Love
6. Mutual Submission
7. Sexual Fulfillment
8. Open Communication
9. Tender Respect
10. Spiritual Companionship

As we think through these 10 building blocks, remember that they are not man-made. They are given to us by God Himself. Because they are, you can know with certainty that when you and your mate follow them, you will have a marriage that is strong.

But perhaps your marital partner is at a different place than you are spiritually or refuses to accept the authority of the Bible. If your partner is willing to remain with you, this is your opportunity to show your mate the kind of husband or wife God can help you to be (1 Cor. 7:12-16). So don’t put the booklet down. We sincerely believe it will help.


Mutual Submission
Some Bible interpreters have made much of the fact that wives are told in the Bible to submit to their husbands. In stressing the woman’s responsibility, however, they fail to see that the passage in Ephesians 5 is prefaced by the following important words:
Do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, . . . submitting to one another in the fear of God (Eph. 5:18,21).

These verses were written to the entire community of Christ. They were penned almost 2,000 years ago by the apostle Paul who went on to apply the principle of mutual submission to several relationships. Not surprisingly, he saw that the first relationship needing this kind of mutual spirit was marriage.

Submission and love go together. We know that God is love, but how do we know He loves us? Because with great humility and submission, Christ went to the cross (Phil. 2:5-8).

In a Christian marriage, husband and wife, because they love God, are submitted to what the will of God is for them. They are in a process of letting go of themselves and submitting to God and to each other. Having the “mind of Christ” produces mutual submission. While there are countless ways of expressing this attitude it at least means:
> Marriage is give and take—not just take.
> Marriage is often very difficult.
> Marriage is rising above self-absorption.
> Marriage is being a servant.
> Marriage is seeing when it is loving to give in.
> Marriage is helping when she’s tired.
> Marriage is caring about each others hurts.

So, what does this mean? It may mean that a wife needs to see routine chores as something that is not “beneath her.” In heaven’s eyes, she is far more than the family maid.
But it also means that a husband is not to view his house as his castle, and all of its inhabitants, including his wife, as his subjects. Rather, having the mind of Christ, he is to see it as the place where he has the best opportunity of all to humble himself—to be a servant.
After all, in every life situation—including the home—that’s what followers of Christ are to be. Mutual submission is an important building block that will make a marriage work!


Sexual Fulfillment
In the garden paradise where it all began, Adam and Eve shared a wonderful intimacy: “They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:25). Furthermore, the command to replenish the earth came before the fall. Intimacy and mutual physical fulfillment, therefore, have always been part of the husband-wife relationship.

The husband and wife are to find sexual fulfillment in each other. The Bible gives the following perspectives:

It Is Protective.
The husband and wife are to reserve this special intimacy for each other, and they are to give it freely. Paul wrote, “Because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2).
No one needs to tell us that we are living in a sexually promiscuous age. There are few restraints. From billboards to television to magazines, relationships are being sexualized.
A husband and wife who maintain intimacy are helping to protect each other from a sexually obsessed society. They protect their own faithfulness.

It Is Enjoyable.
After delivering a stern warning about prostitution, the wise author of Proverbs wrote these words to young husbands:
Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love (5:15-19).
The sexual aspect of marriage is not a necessary evil to be endured for the purpose of procreation. It was designed by God to bring continuing pleasure—an intimate, exhilarating, renewing part of the husband-wife relationship.

It Is Expected.
When a man and woman come together in marriage, each has a right to expect sexual fulfillment from the other. Paul wrote:
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does (1 Cor. 7:3-4).
Paul went on to say that if one marital partner decides to abstain, it is first to be agreed upon with the other. Furthermore, the time of abstinence is to be brief.

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5).

Mutual sexual enjoyment is an important part of marriage. Marital sexual experience that is motivated by love is not evil. It must not be made more important than it is; nor should it be minimized. It is part of the overall picture—an intimate part of the shared identity of the man and woman who come together as husband and wife.


Open Communication
In a survey taken a few years ago, the Family Services Association discovered that 87 percent of husbands and wives interviewed said that the main problem in their marriages was communication. The percentage would probably be the same in Christian marriages. The wife is frustrated because she can’t get her husband to talk. The husband doesn’t feel it does any good because his wife has already made up her mind anyway.

Here are some of the reasons husbands and wives do not communicate effectively:
> They take each other for granted.
> They want to avoid a confrontation.
> They are obsessed with their own interests.
> They feel that they are being manipulated.
> They are too hurried to take the time.
> They don’t want to hurt the other person.

For a marriage to be strong, however, the barriers to communication must be broken down. And one way to accomplish that is to follow the example of Christ. You will remember that husbands were instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Two aspects of the Savior’s relationship to the church could be applied to marriage.

Christ Is The Great Communicator. He is the living Word of God (Jn. 1:1-4). He came to make God known by word and by example. He revealed the will and character of God to man.

Christ is also involved in a continuing process of communicating with the church. He is seated in heaven, inviting us to “come boldly to the throne of grace”[I] (Heb. 4:16) to tell God what is on our hearts and to let Him know our needs.

How can Christ’s example of communication with His church apply to a marriage?
> Husbands need to talk to their wives.
> Wives need to talk to their husbands.
> Both should feel free to respond honestly.
> Every problem should be talked through.
> Opportunities for talking should be valued.

Without open and healthy communication, it will be hard for a marriage to be successful.

Christ Is The Head. Colossians 1:18 says that Christ is [I]“the head of the body, the church.” A head must be in touch with all parts of the body for it to function smoothly. Through the nervous system, it sends and receives information. It tells the finger when to move; it is told when the finger feels pain. If communication is missing, the body cannot function as one.

The same is true of a marriage. The man, as head of the home, needs to communicate with his wife. And she in turn needs to be free to communicate with him. Unless there is two-way communication, as between Christ and His own, the marriage will experience difficulty.

Psychologist Paul Tournier made this observation about marital communication:

No doubt they [a husband and wife] do talk about everything, but it is all objective, all about facts and ideas, which is what a man is interested in. For a woman, real dialogue means talking about her feelings—her own feelings. But even more importantly, about her husband’s feelings, which she wants to understand, but which he does not know how to explain (“Listening To Her,” Family Life Today, Nov. 1982, p.26).

What can you do if you feel your mate is not listening? Here are four suggestions:
> Tell of your need to communicate.
> Don’t rehash old conversations.
> Start on the fact level.
> Move on to the feeling and conviction levels.

It’s hard to converse honestly on all levels, but it’s worth the pain and effort. Open communication is an essential building block of marriage!


Tender Respect
Sometimes marital partners are like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In public they are considerate, forgiving, patient, and sweet-tempered. But once they are behind the closed doors of their own home, they turn ill-tempered, surly, and unforgiving. Their mates only wish they could be treated the way their partner treats others.

In Ephesians 4:31-32 the apostle Paul wrote:
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.

This passage certainly applies to husbands and wives in a marriage relationship. Speaking to wives, Paul said, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph. 5:33). Peter told wives to be submissive to their husbands and even to pattern their behavior after Sarah, who “obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (1 Pet. 3:1,5-6)—a picture of her respect for him.

Peter then spoke to husbands in verse 7 and advocated that they respect their wives as well. He gave three instructions:
1. “Dwell with [your wife] with understanding.” He was saying, “Know your wife well so that you can respect her feelings.” A husband needs to make this his goal. He should know what pleases and comforts her, and also what hurts and angers her. This special understanding can then be used in building her up rather than tearing her down.
2. “Giving honor . . . as to the weaker vessel.” If a man is going to move five containers and he knows one of them is more fragile than the others, he will handle that one more carefully. This is how a husband should treat his wife. He should give her special honor and respect. Husband, buy your wife gifts, send her flowers, remember her birthday, take her special places.
3. “As being heirs together of the grace of life.” The gifts of life are not only the husband’s to enjoy. They are given by God equally to both, and they should be shared together. A man must respect his wife and not rob the joy of life God created her to have.


Spiritual Companionship
Finally, and perhaps most important, a Christian husband and wife should see themselves as spiritual companions. They are making a spiritual journey through life together, walking hand in hand as children of God toward the wonderful eternity with God that awaits them. What a difference it makes when a marriage has a godly husband and a dedicated wife! No one can measure how much they help each other spiritually as they travel life’s road together.

The spiritual dimension was included in the passages about marriage we’ve been discussing. Speaking to husbands about their wives, Paul said:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:25-28).

There is to be a purifying, cleansing dimension to the marriage. Just as the church is made pure because of Jesus Christ, so the wife should be made better by her relationship to her husband.

And how is that accomplished? The same way Christ helped the church: He loved it and gave Himself for it. Love and sacrifice—these set a marriage apart and make possible a true spiritual companionship.

Peter also mentioned the spiritual dimension in his passage on marriage. He closed it by saying, “that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7). As the husband understands his wife, giving her honor and seeing her as a joint-heir of the grace of life, he will be able to pray with power. If he does not, Peter says, his prayers will be “hindered.” He will lose the easy freedom of unhindered prayer.

Here are some qualities that will be present in a marriage where husband and wife are spiritual companions:
> They both worship the same God.
> They both seek to do the will of God.
> They are both accountable to Christ.
> They raise their children together.
> They pray for each other.
> They encourage each other’s faith.

As a husband and wife draw closer to the Lord through prayer, Bible reading, fellowship, and submission to Christ, they will also draw closer to each other. This relationship may be visualized as a triangle. As the husband and wife draw closer to God, they will also grow closer to each other in a relationship that pleases God.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">May Our Father in Heaven, grant us His Grace. May He give us patience, if not understanding, to accept His Perfect Way for our lives and marriages.

God Bless,
TTSMM

PS Sorry, this is late tonight. My goal is for no later than 6 PM EST on Tuesday.

<small>[ October 28, 2003, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

TTSM-

You asked me once if I wanted to be a part of the Wednesday Prayers - after thought and talking with my H about it, I would like to be added to your list of "Prayer Warriors"

Thanks!

imready2try,
I will add your name to next week's list.

Please feel free to pray and fast today for all of us looking to restore our marriages as we will be praying for you this day.

God Bless you,
TTSMM

TTSM, I don't know you and haven't checked in for a long time, but it's nice to see that this thread is still going. Thank you for continuing it.

It has been 3 years since my H left and moved in with OW and 1.5 years since I last saw or spoke with him. I continue to send him money via his lawyer, since I don't know his address, per legal agreement. He left me with our "dream house," our business, 7 horses, 4 dogs, 2 cats, as well as 6 teenagers (not my birth children) who have all since moved on. I filed for dv because he's drinking,using drugs, extremely verbally abusive, and still living with OW.

We were supposed to have depositions this Wed. in my lawyer's office, but they were cancelled because, according to his lawyer, my H has "disappeared." He didn't show up to pick up his check and she says he's usually there within five minutes of its arrival in her office.

So, here I am in limbo. In some ways I'm grateful because I dread seeing him. Given his continued drug abuse (he hasn't worked in 3 years), either he'll be pitiful or hateful, or, worse, just indifferent. It is still so hard to believe what has happenned, even after all this time.

I'm writing this here to preface a prayer request for emotional healing and for God's guidance in the outcome of my situation.

Heavenly Father, hear the words of Your daughter, LetSTry. Take her into Your Powerful arms and comfort her in this trying time of her life. Let her experience Your Love and Grace so that she can move on to becoming the woman you have her destined to be. We ask this in the name Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
Amen.

LetSTry,
My heart goes out to you in this time of need. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

God's Blessings to you,
TTSMM

Do I just post here to be added to the Wednesday list??

I need prayers for my strength in pregnancy- 10-11 weeks to go- getting anxious about it all...

And of course the prayers that H opens his heart and mind to working on our marriage as we start counseling the second week in November...

Thank you!!

Heavenly Father, Bless staeryn and her unborn child. Give her the courage and strength to bring another of Your children into the Your World. Soften the heart and open the eyes of her husband. Strengthen their marriage and show them Your Tender Mercy. This we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ, out Lord and Savior.
Amen.

staeryn,
I will add your name to our weekly prayer list. Probably not a good idea for you to fast though with the baby. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God's Blessings to you and your family,
TTSMM

Please add me to the prayer list - both as one called to pray for others and one in need of prayer (separated for a year, 2 children).

God asked me to fast & pray Fridays for my marriage and for revival.
I do so with 2 friends.
This is the 5th week and already changes are happening - slowly but surely. He does answer.

mike729,
I added you to the prayer list.

May God's Grace and Mercy be upon you.
TTSMM