Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
My wife has continued to deny me my equal rights with my girls. She has come up with a lot of lies and has been trying to be nice to me to stop tomorrows hearing. I am very nervous. I need a lot of prayer to accept God's Will whatever it might be. I was hoping she would not want to go to the courts but she seems to want to which again scares me. Please pray for me. I really need encouragement and I don't feel like I am getting any. All my posts on here just end up dying and nobody answers them...imagine what the enemy is doing to me with that......

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
Joe,

You don't give much detail, but if you are going to do God's will, you need to know it. Are you reading your bible? God has a way of taking you to the right verse. Also these girls are yours too, right? Why shouldn't you have your time, why wouldn't your wife want you to have your time with them. Even if she is trying to manipulate you now, she will respect you more if you do the right thing for yourself, and the girls. Your love for them should make you want to fight for them, albeit in a Godly manner.

God Bless
singleguy

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
I have a lot of detail in other posts under infidelity - just found out. I know God will be there with me but that does not always mean that what you desire to happen will. He knows what is best for us and He can and will do what is best. I am standing for our relationship to be restored and as long as the OM is in the picture I am going to constantly be struggling.

Thank you for your prayers....I will continue to read and pray...............

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Joe,

Have you tried praying the hedge of protection prayer around your wife? This could very well help with the OM situation. It has helped in my situation & I believe it would help in yours. If you're unfamiliar, you can find the basis for it in the book of Hosea.

I know what you mean about your posts dying around here. I started posting on the Infidelity - General Questions board & because I was not following what someone else advised, what Dr. Harley advised to the letter, I was shunned. Then I found this board where everyone is encouraging through the word of God & it has helped me much more than the general board. I'll stick to this one. I usually take what other people advise & match it up with scripture. If the two don't match, I don't follow the advise. I'd rather go by what God's teaching me from the Bible than to listen to the words of man. This is called walking by the Spirit. If you listen to someone else, and it does not match scripture, than you are walking in the flesh & a spiritual battle can never be won by doing that. We must put on the full armour of God & walk in the spirit. We'd love to see you stick around this board! You're more than welcome! {{{{{{{JOE}}}}}}}}}

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
Standing,

I can't quote the scripture, but God tells us that light and darkness do not mix. We will go one way or the other. When I first came to the mb board, I was hungry for relationship and went to the other boards, but then the Holy Spirit convicted me with the above scripture. Now I only come to this board. I feel a Christian should get his wisdom from the creator of wisdom, God, and hopefully Godly people. The church is supposed to be set apart from the world. People are supposed to clearly see a difference between it and the world, but tolerance and compromise have brought the world into the church. Yes it can get a little lonely at times, but you know you are going down the right path. I was glad to see you post your conviction about that.

singleguy

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
Joe,

I hope today's court session went well for you. I lifted you and your family up this morning.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I need a lot of prayer to accept God's Will whatever it might be.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Somehow I don't think you will have any real trouble with this. You seem like someone who has some wisdom from the Father already and may be able to understand God's will. But in case you feel you will have trouble. I just want to remind you that bottom line for God is to "Save the lost and make disciples". He wants people to know why He sent us His son and once we ask Him into our lives, to develope an intimate relationship with Him. If you are already saved He wants your commitment and obedience. What do you think God is trying to get you to learn?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really need encouragement and I don't feel like I am getting any. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One of the enemy's weapons os to make us feel like nothing is happening. It makes us doubt things that are true about God. Remember God's gives us 100% of His time and presence 100% of the time. Don't let the enemy tell you otherwise.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">All my posts on here just end up dying and nobody answers them</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think I've only had one thread (aside for the Marriage Restoration threads) go for more than one page. Sometimes I only get two or three responses. So I feel for you brother.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">imagine what the enemy is doing to me with that......</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He do like to steal our Joy don't he? But you are blessed my friend. You have a group of people praying for you. God will never leave you of forsake you. You are just doing what everyone has done at one time or another. "...Forgotten the things God has done for you in the past, or the stories you have been told of how He has been there for others you know." Never forget; God is faithful.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know God will be there with me but that does not always mean that what you desire to happen will. He knows what is best for us and He can and will do what is best.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Faith and Wisdom. Hummm... a very good combination to have. Stir in a bit of trust; Proverbs 3:5,
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am standing for our relationship to be restored and as long as the OM is in the picture I am going to constantly be struggling.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No one understands you more than I do in this regard.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you for your prayers....I will continue to read and pray...............</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How'z your worship? Worship really does wonders for the spirit. Try to spend some time alone with a Maranatha (or some other) praise and worship CD and see where God leads you. Maybe an hour or two. Fill your day with it when you can.

Let us know how things worked out today. Do you have a book called "The Power of a Praying Husband"? If you don't get it and pray the prayers in there as a guide to get you started.

Blessing to you.

S&C

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How'z your worship? Worship really does wonders for the spirit. Try to spend some time alone with a Maranatha (or some other) praise and worship CD and see where God leads you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I personally like the new Randy Travis CD. It is a spiritual album & all the songs are absolutely fabulous. It has been my praise CD since all this started. I play it in my car on the way to work, on the way home, after church, Friday & Saturday nights, whenever. It ALWAYS lifts my spirits. Singing, I believe, is the best way to give Him praise. Music always uplifts my spirits.

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
JoeCM,
I thought of you today and your situation. Know that whatever happens is God's Will and it is PERFECT - "His ways are not our ways." I know it is difficult to understand and feel that when the world/your world is crumbling around you. I still find no understanding when God, I feel is doing nothing, in my M.

If you have not read The Book of Job yet, I suggest you read it. It is very humbling, and the last two or three chapters definitely set my mind and heart straight on HE IS GOD, and I am NOT.

God's Blessings be with you today and always.

SFM,
I agree with you 100%. I started at the "Just Found Out" and some posts lasted several pages. I read Harleys' books and if I didn't follow it to the letter, I felt the cold shoulder form the MBers. I forgot how I found the Prayer Requests, I thknit was right after a Bible study with my neighbor. I haven't left since.

The problem with advice from MAN (mostly men, but definitely some women) is that once it is offered to you, our egos engage and we feel shunned, hurt and at times, superior to the requestor. And when they don't follow our advice we get angry and it usually hurts the relationship. I found this out with my Men's team just before I left them for God and His Word. They gave up on me because I wanted help, I asked for advice. But, I did not ask for orders to follow. God did this to show that HE is one calling the shots, not men (or women). It has humbled me, but I still have a long way to, almost the past 20 years in world and not in God.

Another reason for coming to this forum, is that the other forums are so secualr and many times, immoral. That WAS my life, but this is where I need and want to be. Though new to the scriptures, I try to take men's advice and filter it through HIS Word.

tryingTOsaveMYmarriage

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Another reason for coming to this forum, is that the other forums are so secualr and many times, immoral. That WAS my life, but this is where I need and want to be. Though new to the scriptures, I try to take men's advice and filter it through HIS Word.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what we're all called to do. Put away the things of the flesh & walk through Him. Glad to hear that you are doing that. God has really spoken to you and I pray that you continue to live in God's light & let it shine through you. It is so evident that it is already. Keep shining on! And as always, thanks for your encouraging words in everyone's posts.

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
JoeCm,
I thought about you today.
How is everything going?
Let us know.

Dear All-Knowing Father. Intercede with Your Love upon this marriage. Protect JoeCm's children from the lies and deceit Satan has placed before them. Give him access to his children so he can be the God-like influence they need right now. Break down the walls of the affair between his wife and other other man. Show Your Power upon them and cast the devil out of thier lives. Let them drop to thier knees asking for Your Forgiveness. Restore this marriage to its former glory. We ask this through the Most Holy Name of Your Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.

TTSMM
God's Blessings,
tryingTOsaveMYmarriage

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
Oh my Blessed family,

It is good to hear from you. I posted something under the infidelity main questions II - you might read through it. I am struggling with something that I now believe is the crutch that I made my marriage be which is what I believe my wife might have saw without really knowing the truth. God has called me to a walk that I am afraid of....and I know I should not be afraid...but i have been Moses in the desert - a man of unclean lips.

I was granted visitation - every other weekend and every other off week monday. I posted that message as a 911 -- so please read it. It will show you what happened during my first week and where I am.....

I appreciate all your prayers...I have been following advice that I understand and do not understand. I sound so pathetic = in reality - I am battling a war that is spiritual within and external with my wife who I believe has lost her mind. She eats very little and is so tired all the time. She is making me worry that she is going to kill herself just to look good for this guy.......

joe

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
Here is the link JoeCM is talking about.
Help 911

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> am battling a war that is spiritual within and external with my wife who I believe has lost her mind. She eats very little and is so tired all the time. She is making me worry that she is going to kill herself just to look good for this guy.......
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Joe, My heart goes out to you. My husband is also not eating to lose weight. He's also involved in other things that I dare not mention on this board. I have learned that sometimes you have to let another person fall flat on their face in order for God to lift them up again. No matter what YOU do, if they aren't willing to change, there's nothing YOU can do except pray for their salvation & that no harm comes to them. The only one who can intercede for your wife right now is YOU. You can lift her up in prayer & God will work on getting her on the path toward Him.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 113
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 113
I can partially understand what you must be going thru, although can't imagine things going to that level. Right now, your wife is programming the kids to be in fear of you, causing alienation. I will be praying for you and your wife, as well as the children. She has free will, but walk in love and stand on the word. Also, I am praying for her parent's interference to stop, for they are escalating a situation. The Lord LOVES you and will get you through this. And remember to pray for those who dispitefully use you. Pray for all those who show you hate and that they will be blessed, and walk in forgiveness. You will be so blessed by this.
P.S. I am spelling challenged on most days, despite my education. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
Thanks again.

I have the initial court hearing on Tues. Dec. 16th at 9 A.M. Judge will probably set up the mediation which I am praying that he will force her to go to counseling.

She has not called about the D B-Day party. I did not expect her. My daughter is going to be really hurt. I am so ashamed of my wife.

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
Joe,

Sometimes we don't realize that all we need is the cross, until all we have left is the cross. The bible says God hears our prayers, but He inhabits the praises of His people. Today you need to worship: for help, for wisdom, for humility, for repentence, for interceding, for mercy, for grace, for restoration, for forgiveness...

singleguy

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
Today, was a very God Awesome and trying day.

My wife did call and tell me when and where the party was at. She did not mean for me to be there but my youngest sounded so sad that I said I would not go. So I went. Took a christian friend. I got to hug and love on my girls. I got to say hi to her dad while the rest of the people there for the most part shunned me. I did get to meet the other guy. He looks so familiar to me that it is scary. Have I seen him in dreams... hmmmm...

Anyways.. my wife does want this man. I saw it in everything she chose to do to chase me away. Everyone was respectful. He even had the audacity to come and introduce himself to me... hahahahaha.... He did everything for her. That is why she wants him.... anyways.... it was an awesome day in that the Lord reminded me that it is better to server Him than to desire and serve a false image - my WW.

I believe in faith that He has said He will restore this marriage before the divorce; what was evidenced today shook that but I am not giving up. No matter what everyone tells me - I will believe until I know for sure that the Lord says it is time to move on.

Please pray for Monday and Tuesday. I am suppose to get the girls Monday but she didn't sound like she was going to let me.....I have a feeling she is going to keep the oldest home that day....and tuesday for the courts... she has something up her sleeve.

Please pray for her mother to come to know Jesus. She is so consumed with hating me that she cannot see truth if it bit her.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Dear Lord,

Please watch over Joe's wife. I pray that she will hear your voice calling to her to turn to You and Your ways. I pray that Joe receives a sense of peace in doing Your will and that You would speak to him today and show him your love and mercy. I pray that you continue to work on Joe's wife's heart and release the fears, anger, and hatred that consumes her soul and replace those feelings with compassion, mercy, love for the husband of her youth and give her a longing for Your word, Your divine wisdom. Thank you, Lord for continuing to work in Joe's life, the lives of his children & his wife's heart. We praise your Almighty name, through Jesus Christ, our Lord and risen Saviour, Amen.

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
J
JoeCM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 86
Been way too long since I was here. Life as you know it has changed......not...still the same old situation. except now the ww is engaged....and I have been so confused....guess I would just say hi again...


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5