Hi Everyone,<P>I posted my story for the first time a couple days ago (Desperate situation need help fast), and I wanted to thank those of you that responded. I really don't want to give up on my H, but he has become increasingly angry and bitter over the past couple of days. It is just hard to believe that he is the same loving person that he was only last week when he was considering coming home.<P>I hardly ever page him, and he used to return my calls promptly, but now he doesn't even return the call. And, when he does, I can tell that he is irritated. As I disclosed in my other posting, he is living w/ the OW, and I know they both don't want me to call her house. But, we do have a two year old daughter to raise, and I want him and he wants to be involved in parenting decisions.<P>This was the first Thanksgiving in 10 years that we have not been together. It makes me very sad when I think about it. My H's family always celebrates Thanksgiving on Saturday. My H didn't want to see his family because he feels like they don't care about him, so I am going w/ our daughter alone. His family has tried to reach out to him, but he doesn't want to listen to what they have to say. Therefore, he feels like they don't care about him which is untrue! They love and care about him very much...they just don't like what he has done. And, they don't buy into his excuses.<P>Anyway, I came home last night from Thanksgiving w/ my family, and I could tell that my H had been gathering financial information while I was gone. I called him last night to find out why (is he really that close to filing?), and he got very defensive. And, his answer is always, "I don't know."<P>How should I handle this situation? If he is that close to filing, do you think I should stop trying to reach out to him and go into protection mode?<P>Thanks for your help!

Hi Sleepless in STL,<P>My story is similar to your's too. I spent Thanksgiving day with <B>my</B> family (without my kids though... it was W's day)... later on in the evening... I went by myself to my MIL's house... and W's family was so glad to see me... they really do love me... like I was their son/brother. They too missed my W... since she had the kids (with OM)... but her family won't let my W come over their houses with the OM!<P>I imagine you are in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... No <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>(angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments, and selfish demands)! And trying to meet his <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>!<P>Easier said than done... right?<P>If he is going to file for divorce there is nothing you can do about it... <BR>Just try to slow it down... that is what I am trying to do... slow it down to a crawl!<P>I don't know all of your story... a longer update of your profile could be helpful.<P>If you need to <B>protect</B> yourself leagally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the beter... You can norally find a few that will give initial counsulting free of charge.<P>About protection mode... I think you're talking about <BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>... <BR>Personally, I think it is a bit premature... but it is something only you can make the finl decision on. Think long and hard on this... <P>For everyone who has tried <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>(Avoid all contact with the wayward spouse until the affair has ended)... they <B>all</B> say it is <B>very</B> hard!... I'm not yet there... I'll be there, I think in Jan/Feb of next year.<P>Prayers and good wishes to you... <P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...