Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another for resolution to our marriages and our lives. Every Wed. we can check in and let our fellow prayer warriors know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matt 18:20.

We send out the prayer post on Mondays so everyone has an opportunity to check in and to add their own personal prayer request if they want to/need to. Then on Wed. we can check in, hit the "Post Reply" button, and enter "Amen".

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.


Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: -.{165 Prayer Warriors and counting}
cajunky . Ezra . Willgetthruthis . Godisincontrol . Natasha79 . JohnC . NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done) . Wallace . relady . steadfast and committed . morriggs . lupolady . stillwaiting . Broken Hearted . PasDeDeux . hopeful_person . GinnyF . justpeachy . cry2much . SNL . LostAgain (Dave&April) . Dodger (Rtron) . gloriachu . LoveNcare . JMF . WEN . NiteHawk . Absurd . LetSTry . AgainsttheWind . cemmerson . getting better . kellidiane . Terrified . BeeLee . idostylin . Resilient . thiscantbehappening . day by day . Jloves . broken x3 . Sue with Hope . sunrise1 . shepette . Malc . Faithfulwife . timbo-e . Angelia . FeelingAllAlone . broken_joe .

dopey . awake . truly a friend . Is it to late . stilltryingtosaveit . landslide . GODBLESSU . vega . LoyalWarrior . janna-m-r . ferbie . epiphOny . simmy . cajeanie . d_rose . lost_lonely . briank4775 . mayflower . Caged_Bird . LunaDove . goldielocks109 . darwud . Mrs. Darwud . Zuzus Petals . adamv . Army Hubby . Gail (mojodiva) & Shane . bonnie five & H . TryingToKeepHope . Hopeful98 . lghoping . SoTired (Mike & Trish) . evega . Douglas and Kirsi Nielson . Jessicafl27 . kimmy2 . auntielala . weezy8550 . miserynmissouri . STBXWife . sealfan . Jen Brown . SMIAJ . cinderella . GreggC . trying_to_accept . solon . serenitydipity . ilia . lonejrock .

anchorhugger . Prayer & Patience . Chikar . Alex6 . Hopeforamiracle . fishlady . rookie . Made A Mess of Things . *DeepSigh* . boden . new comittment . deeplyhurting . jeff15679 . Bob Castaldi . k57mo . skottyjay (Scott and Melody) . TROD (Tony and Julie) . thisso . ladysheep . hurtmorethanheknows . singleguy . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage . Keesley . recovering_dad . Terrianna . javaContour . BH . Cheryls . cherry log . AD. . Suebee . REJECTED . LoveMyEx . LostHusband . kings kid . kwhittle . vividwhisper . imready2try . staeryn . JoeCM . mike729 . Ridingtherollercoaster . DREslinger . ecpsap . Mr.Miew . Standing_For_M . Alcoholic’s Wife . gentle . Stung by a Bee . maximus1 .

Blended family girl .Diamonzzz . sctaylor . RichardF . bygraceamfree . butterflie . FinallyLearning . angielt . luke parrish . sadmama . Timeheals . OuchThisHurts . mojo95 . Cherylpa . nvrgvup .

Prayers Answered/God's Gifts to Us:
Over the Holidays
adamv (talked and prayed the prayer of salvation with his 8yr old son) . finallylearning (has broken ties with the OM) . Steadfast and Committed (MIL left the hospital; his dog was found by the Humane Society) . Standing_For_M (H stayed over for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; rec'd Christmas gifts for her and her kids and food/groceries from her mom and her job; had great talk with H on phone; H said he told a co-worker a story about when they first dated) . lupolady (broken arm is healed; bought herself a new car) . staeryn (H moving back temporarily to help with their new baby) . sadmama (H is ending A and coming home; her D's pray for the Prayer Warriors) . hopeful98 (R&R in Mexico) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (at Mass, a child was being baptized and my D said, "Look Daddy, another member has just joined God's family; D is doing a reading at her "First Sacrament of Reconciliation" service this Saturday)

Standing_For_M (her & H attended S' holiday concert and had a good time) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (kids were playing very loudly while W was baking and she didn't lose it, she let them have fun) . singleguy (found a gal, and her dog, who he can have a friendship with) . hopeful98 (had a nice conversation with her H) . Standing_for_M (had a five hour talk with H, some flirting with him as well) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (in my D's public school, they discussed things pertaining to the winter season, she said "God's Birthday") . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (I struck up a conversation with a former Catholic-Christian and shared my life, experiences and "The Purpose Driven Life" with him. first time I ever shared my faith with a stranger) . Blended faily girl (found a job within a Christian environment and received a raise) . Blended faily girl (the Lord placed a strong Christian woman in her life for a "Purpose") . Blended faily girl (four hour Bible study with sister on phone) . Standing_for_M (her H stayed the night, on the sofa, after visiting her and the children) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (a wonderful Thanksgiving with my wife and children - no fighting or talk of divorce) . Standing_for_M (her H's heart is softening by his actions towards her and their children) . LoveNcare (her son returns to his wife after 14 months) . lupolady (hard cast taken off her arm) . kings kid (good news about her biopsy) . Terrianna (daughter not moving away) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife is back and we are planning to renew our wedding vows in our church) . tryingTOsaveMYmarraige (D is interested in the Christian music I am listening to and asks a lot about God) . hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation) . GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it) . WGTT (WH coming home) . d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.) . Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that “just LOVES me”) . tsc (marriage being restored) . janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man) . Stillwaiting (Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened) . Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.) . cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me) . Free (Marriage Restoration begun ) . Againstthewind (Got job) . betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery) . WGTT (accepted into mentor program) . Movingonwithlife (Wife coming home) . cry2much(sucessful surgery) . Steadfastandcommitted (first string again) . Lupolady (air conditioner) .


The Power of a Praying Husband - Stormie Omartian
Chapter Four - Her Motherhood

A man's work is clear-cut....A woman whose main occupation is being a mother (isn't). She labors for long hours day and night because the work is never done. There are no sick days off, and there's no place to go if she wants to resign. She finds herself in a highly skilled profession, yet she is given only on-the-job training. She often can't see the fruits of her labor, and she won't really know whether she's a success for about 25 years after the job begins. And the pay is quite nebulous, if not nonexistent, even though the benefits are great.
....one of the most worrisome aspects of parenting is finding the successful balance between being a good mother and being a good wife....and whether she says it or not, she often feels guilty about neglecting her husband or her children.
Your wife needs your prayers to help her find that balance....(Prayer) will also ehlp lift the heavy burden of raising the children off your wife's shoulders before this monumental job becomes wearisome and overwhelming. Most importantly, God will work through your prayers to give her peace in the process. And she must find His peace within herself while she is raising her children, because if she doesn't, she won't survive when they grow up and leave home. Your prayers for her as a mother can make the difference in whether her responsibilities become a daily grind of dirty work or a life-giving labor of love.

THE PAIN OF EMPTY ARMS
In every woman there is a longing to do what she was created to do. One of the things a woman's body was created to do is give birth.
If your wife is not a mother and wants to be, pray that she will find comfort for that ache, even if she no longer mentions it. If you have decided together to not have children and you are certain itis God's will, there might not be any problem....It will never be God's will for the two of you to be in disagreement about this. If you are, seek the Lord wholeheartedly together and pray that the two of you will agree in accordance with God's will.
Surprisingly, healing for infertility was mentioned as one of the top needs for prayers for mothers in my survey of women....I've known many people who have been childless, praying for years for a baby, and who then have seen God answer those prayers in one miraculous way or another. This could not have happened without the long-term fervent prayers of husbands and wives seeking a miracle from God. Often the greatest miracles happen to those who are desparate for one.

THE WORKING MOM
Children are a guilt trip snyway....but if your wife is a mother who works outside the home, she has to deal with guilt on an hour-by-hour basis.
If your wife is a working mom, pray for the time she has with the children to be maximized. Ask God to provide a way for her not to have to work so much, or maybe not at all. Pray for her to be free fromthe paralyzing burden of condemnation.

DADS HAVE GUILT TOO
Men are often not applauded enough for all they doto provide a secure and safe place for their families. There is great pressure on men to be and do everything successfully, and there is a deep sense of failure when they don't feel they are living up to their own or other's expectations of them.
With all that said, I want to encourage you as a father to know that your presence in the home is vitally important. It's more important than you probably realize. When you are home, it gives your wife and childrena sense of security, strength, and love. And in addition to that, if you can spend a few minutes each day with your children, looking each of them in the eye and talking to them about their lives in an encouraging way, it enables them to believe they are valuable. You have no idea how important your approval is to your family.
There is a way you can be more involved in your children's lives each day while still providing for their needs in the manner you would like. You can pray for them.
It's also good to pray for your children together with your wife. "If two of you agree on earth concerning anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 18:19).
No matter how much you are paid in a lifetime for the work you do, the time you spend praying for your wife and children is worth far more. In fact, it's priceless. Whenever you pray for them, you are investing in your future together and storing up treasures in heaven. As far as the worth of your wife's work as a mother to your children, let me just quote you some lyrics from a song my husband once wrote with Donna Summer. "She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right." Pray, pray, pray!

PRAYER POWER
Lord, I pray that You will help (wife's name) to be the best mother to our children (child) that she can be. Give her strength, and help her to understand that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her (Philippians 4:13). Give her patience, kindness, gentleness, and discernment. Guard her tongue so that the words she speaks will build up and not tear down, will bring life and not destruction. Guide her as she makes decisions regarding each child. By the authority You have given me, as a believer as well as a husband and a father, I break any rebellion or area of disobedience that would erect a stronghold in our children (child) (Luke 10:19). Specifically I lift up (child's name). I bring before You my concern about (name any area of concern that you have for that child).
Lord, I know we cannot successfully raise our children without You. So I ask that You would take the burden of raising them from our shoulders and partner with us to bring them up. Give my wife and me patience, strength, and wisdom to train, teach, discipline, and care for each child. Help us to understand each child's needs and know how to meet them. Give us discernment about what we allow into the home through TV, books, movies, video games, magazines,and computer activitiesl Give us revelation and the ability to see what we need to see. Show us Your perspective on each child's uniqueness and potential for greatness. Give us a balance between being overprotective and allowing our children to experience life too early.
If we, being evil, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will You, our heavenly Father, give good things to us when we ask it of You (Matthew 7:11). So I ask You for the gifts of intelligence, strength, talent, wisdom, and godliness to be in our children. Keep them safe from any accident, disease, or evil influence. May no plan of the enemy succeeed in their lives. Help us to raise our children (child) to be obedient and respectful to both of us and to have a heart to follow You and Your Word. I pray that my wife will find fulfillment, contentment, and joy as a mother, while never losing site of who she is in You.

Love in Christ,
trying and crying

<small>[ January 07, 2004, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
The Power of a Praying Wife

Chapter 4 - His Sexuality

Pg. 62

For a wife, sex can come out of affection. She doesn’t want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for, or abandoned. But for a husband, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain and emotions get clouded if he doesn’t have that release. He has trouble hearing anything his wife says or seeing what she needs when that area of being is neglected. Wives sometimes have it backwards. They think, We can have sex after we get these other issues settled. But actually there is a far greater chance of settling the other issues if sex comes first.

That’s why its important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn’t the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed, or tempted in this area of his being. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.

Sexual problems are quite common because many women don’t have a clear grasp of what God’s view is on the subject. But the bible is crystal clear. “The wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:4,5). Sex between a husband and wife is God’s idea. Unless we’re fasting and praying for weeks at a time, or are experiencing physical infirmity or separation, there is no excuse not to engage in it regularly.

Pg. 63

When we’re married, our bodies are not our own. We owe each other physical attention and we’re not to deprive one another. The frequency of sex depends on the other person’s need, not our alone. If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don’t want, then you don’t have God’s perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person. Something is built up in the man and the marriage when this need is met by his wife. Something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourselves open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. It can happen to anyone, and that’s why the sexual aspect of your marriage and your husband’s sexuality need to be covered in prayer. And it’s best to start praying about it before you have to.

If your husband desires sex more frequently and you are the one keeping it from happening, pray for God to help you change your ways.

Pg. 65

Bad things develop when the sexual part of a marriage is neglected. Don’t let that happen to you. Keep an eye on the calendar and refuse to allow much time to go by without coming together physically. If it has been too long, ask God to show you why and help you remedy the situation. And remember, it’s never too late to pray for sexual purity, no matter what has occurred in either of your pasts. Sometimes sexual problems in a marriage happen as a result of sexual experiences before the marriage. Pray to be set free and healed of those memories. Purity happens the moment it takes root in the heart. Prayer is where it starts. Don’t jeopardize or forfeit what God has for your marriage by neglecting to pray for this vital area of your life.

PRAYER

Lord, bless my husband’s sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.

Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience – in thought or deed – that happened outside our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. Help us to “abstain from sexual immorality” so that each of us will know “how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor” (I Thessalonians 4:3,5). I pray that we will desire each other and no one else. Show me how to make myself attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere.

I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord. May it be continually new and alive. Make it all that You created it to be.

AMEN!

<small>[ January 04, 2004, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: hopeful98 ]</small>

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
please pray for me this week. i sinned against God, my wife and my children. instead of walking away when my wife oushed my buttons, i pushed hers back and in front of our children.

i am loosing faith that my marriage will ever be saved. i have not lost faith in God's existence or that He loves me, but i have in my marriage. i don't believe it is what God's wants for me anymore. my love bank for her is almost zero. my wife doesn't believe and as "gentle" put it on othre postins, she is VERY angry. but i don't see God around her.

so pray that God will forgive my stupid actions tonight; that He will protect our d from any more damage caused by mommy and daddy; that i will keep the peace bybkeeping my mouth shut and walking away.

Love in Christ,
trying...to be patient and keep up hope.

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 71
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 71
If the bible says that God hates divorce, then why would He want you to divorce her. Fight for her and your marriage in prayer. Satan is the one who wants your marriage over, not God. Believe what God's word says, not what you see. Ask God to change her heart. He can replace her heart of stone. Pray, pray and pray some more. I know its hard, I go through the same things, but please don't lose your faith. He is testing our faith. Don't give up!

I've had several people tell me that I have to let go. Could someone explain to me excatly what this means. I asked someone if it meant not ever seeing my h again and they said no. Please explain

<small>[ January 04, 2004, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: Cheryls ]</small>

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 43
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 43
Hi, I am hoping you can help me and I hope this email will not to be long.

25 years ago I met my husband when I was 18, I got pregnant and we got married at 19 because we wanted our kids to have thier real parents. We are both 44 right now and up till his affairs never had sex with anyone else. Life went on. Throughout that time I never really felt needed or wanted by my husband. The last 5 years of my marriage my husband worked in another province, so we were never really together much, not something that I wanted. At the beginning of our marriage we moved all over the place and I got tired of moving. Two years ago, my husband had an affair on me and the only reason it didn't last was because she dumped him. So I decided enough was enough and I moved to the other province to be with my husband and work on my marriage. Two months after I was there, he took off for another city to work and only came home on the weekends. We tried talking thru things and working on things (or at least I thought we were). After two years I moved back to our house in the other province with the promise from my husband that he would only work 6 months away and would fly home once a month and be home for the other 6 months. He is in construction so the weather in the other province would prevent him from working there in the winter. In the meantime he would phone me every night, say he loved me, he missed me and that he would never have another affair, he went down that road and it would never happen again, and I was the best thing for him. This past August I had a dream that he was seeing another woman and it turned out to be true. He met this woman and three days later he had moved in with her and she told him to **** or get off the pot, so he phoned me up and said he was ending our marriage and that he had never loved me. I asked him about the cards and the things he said to me over the phone and he said it was all lies just to keep me happy. He said that if he had to give up me and his kids so be it, because he was in love with her. Within the 4 months of knowing her he has given her $8000, she owns a horse ranch and he said she is not doing well. They went to Holland for Christmas and he paid for that as well.

My question to you is, what do I do?? I never wanted my marriage to fail and I do realize that him and I were not meeting each others emotionals needs and our love banks were bankrupt. I also know we should have never lived apart, but I thought it was all in the name of work. I know many times over the years when I wanted to make things right he would say to me, "I am happy being a roommate". He is talking marriage to this woman only after 4 MONTHS.

1. What do I do?
2. Why did he lie to me all these years or did he mean the things he said at the time.
3. Is this true love he feels and will this affair he is having last? Is it doomed? This woman has been married 3 times before and his friend thinks she is taking him for a ride. If she is why did they go to Holland for Christmas together. Thats where her family is.
4. Is there a chance he will come back to me and if he does I am not sure I could deal with all the destruction he has caused.
5. I am not sure I ever loved him, how do get back something you are not sure was there in the first place.
6. Is there hope for us if we do get back together, I want this marriage to work, I want to love him because we have such a history together and we have 2 kids together.
7. How do I deal with my obsessive thinking about him, day and night. It rips me apart inside knowing he is giving everything to this woman that I wanted.
8. We are both Christians, and I am trying so hard to rely on God, and I dont understand with his Christian upbringing how he can do what he is doing. When I question him with that he says he is like the prodigal son and is spending his inheritance and maybe he needs to hit rock bottom. Is he just telling me what I want to hear or is it his guilt talking. He says this affair just happened but I know he was open to it.

What do I do as for as having contact with him or trying to make him see I want to make things work. I don't think he wants any contact from me and when we do talk, he always says hurtful things to me and he is really nasty when the other woman is in the vicinity.


I really hope that I can get some answers from someone. I love your website and should we ever get back together, I will definitely be referring to it.

Thanks so much for your time
Cheryl

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 126
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 126
Greetings all,

Sorry for not being around for several weeks. Due to my weakness for pornographic images, I have been severely limiting my time online. Now I am back at work, where such sites are blocked (and where accessing such sites would cause me to be dismissed) I feel that I can safely visit the group once more. I have been praying for you all.

My wife is still finding it very difficult to understand, or forgive, my actions. (She told me today that she has still not forgiven her mother for an affair that she had over ten years ago - even though my mother-in-law and father-in-law are still married and [mostly] happy together.)

Please pray for my wife, and all others in similar situations, that they may find the strength to do whatever is right for them and their relationship.

God bless,
Richard

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Richard,

Welcome back! It's good to hear you are disciplining yourself to control your addiction. I will be praying for you and your wife. Forgiveness can take a very long time, so do try to be patient with her (I know it sounds easier said than done) but she will, in time, forgive you as long as you continue to pray for her. Once again, welcome back.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Please pray that God blesses the time my H & I are going to spend together tonight. It is geared toward financial talk, but please stand in agreement with me that God will open the door to talk about counseling. I started IC on Monday & the C would like to see my H to get his view on the M and the S. The C will need to know this information so he knows how best to proceed with my therapy. Thank you all for your prayers.

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
Standing_for_M - I'll be praying for you.

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am fasting and praying for all today. Thanks for your prayers on my trip to Mexico over the Holidays. I had a wonderful time there. Thank You!

God Bless You!!!

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
I am fasting and praying for you all today too.

Cherylpa, I am sorry for you pain. I do not have any answers for you but i at least wanted to acknowledge your questions. There is so much to consider here. Have you thought about getting some counsoling? or maybe speaking to someone from your church?

i will pray for you and your family.

I am doing ok. Today I feel like I am moving out of the fog more.

thank you for all your prayers

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
Hey everyone,

Just bringing up the rear for today's fast and prayer time. Special one to all my brothers and sisters in Florida today.

God bless you all.

Love in Christ.

S&C

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 123
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 123
Hello All and welcome Cherylpa,
Great Prayer Day! Felt it strong! Yesterday I had miracles happen and just wanted to share!
First my lawyer is not going to dump me because of money which he had said if I did not come up with 1500.00 by court date the 23rd he could not be there. Well with prayer he is! Then two gas stations would not inspect my van, bc of a broken tailight plate. I then called a family member and he did it! Then someone stole my wiper blades and I had no one to put them on. Well Daughter in laws brother came to rescue me! PTL!
God Bless you all!

Cheryl,
I am so sorry for your pain. I was in your shoes two years ago. I am not much better off at this time, divorce pending but I am not consenting to it. I have put Jesus first in my life and now cope much better. Everyone here has the same kind of problems. We are all a very big family and welcome you! Please read everything on the boards. It will take you along time! Some will help and some will confuse you. God knows your situation and has plans for you. Trust him with your whole heart. Give your marriage to him and pray for your husband and your heart to be changed. Pray for your husbands salvation. I would not recomend talking to your husband as it only hurts more. When he calls tell him you are busy and do not offer anything more. It may make him wonder! Do not cry in front of him or on the phone. If he asks how you are sound upbeat and tell him fine! Find many things to do as this may be a long wait.
Join rejoiceministeries.org Charlene Cares. She will send you daily devotionals that will help keep you close to God and yes make you sane! I hope I helped some.
You can email me at desme99@yahoo.com if you wish. God Bless you.

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,311
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,311
My W abandoned our M 9 months ago today. Could you folks please lift me up today? It's hard right now. Thanks and God bless!

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
hurtingPK,

feel God's love surrounding you today and everyday. He is always with you. Be gentle with yourself today.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Hurting,

I understand your pain. I reached the 3 month mark on Monday, the 5th. It was a very emotional day for me. I know it's not as long as 9 months, but I do understand. Every moment is a moment without the one you love. You are in all of our prayers. I pray you find peace and contentment today through scripture, an encouraging word, or maybe just to be still & feel God's presence. This works for me. You really don't need any words, just stay still & feel Him all around you.

Thank you to all who prayed for me yesterday. My H & I had a blessed night together and he is thinking about going to C with me next week! PTL! We filled out EN questionnaires together & LB questionnaires. This is helping us evaluate where we went wrong in our R & he is talking about the possiblity of trying again! PTL! Don't want to speak too prematurely though. Thank you all so much for all of your prayers, ALWAYS. I have each of you in my prayers as well & even though I didn't respond in yesterday I say a big AMEN now to all of you. 2004 WILL be a blessed year for His faithful flock regardless of what happens. I know I've already been blessed by having all of you in my life. You're always in my thoughts. May His will be done!

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17
S
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
S
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17
This is my first posting on this forum. I've lurked a while, but haven't posted until now - mostly because as TTSMM the other sites do seem a little secular. Also, my S knows about this site and I didn't want him to catch me posting about our "situation." BUT - prayer is definitely something that I/we need. My H had an EA which he kind of admitted to, but now won't and we are currently living in the same house as the OP. Soon to move out!!! He had been planning on divorcing me for about 2/3 months - lots and lots of prayer on that one!!! Meanwhile, he was on the phone with OP 3-4 hours a day, spending money, etc. etc. Anyways, if I went into why we are now in a different state living with MIL it would be a really long story. Suffice to say, the whole thing is twisted. I am still in denial over the state of my life at times I think, but I do know that God has been so good to me!! H told OP that we were going to work on marriage and their R has changed a lot. My husband has gone to C with me once. I've been a couple of times on my own since and he may go some more. I am not so worried about him admitting the A - who cares, let's just move on. The problem is that he doesn't want anything but space. He says that I have to earn his trust back and that he doesn't care whether he has to earn my trust. He still wants what he wants and he still is too close to OP. MIL didn't know story, but is seeing it now (on her own - she doesn't know what happened just that we were having problems). Makes things uncomfortable for H when she sets boundaries. Anyways, I am very discouraged - things have been busy and I've gotten out of the Word like I was, but things are better here. I know I just have to stay faithful and keep praying. But please please please PRAY for me/us. I am going to start asserting myself more as in - I'm not going to help you do anything wrong and I am not going to help you dishonor me. That sounds so pushy and assertive, but I know it's the right thing to do (have super MC). I had no support group in previous state we lived in and so I think God led me more in the direction of just being a good wife and not speaking up about certain things. Now, especially since we're supposed to be working on things and he has acknowledged some of the things he did weren't smart (not wrong just not smart), seems to be the time to move. I hope this makes sense. I just need a lot of prayer that I will keep in the Word and not lose faith and keep pressing on, because I am getting tired inside - also love and wisdom towards him and OP. Please pray too that he will repent or at least not see me as the ruiner (is that a word?) of his life. I am in this M for life. I love him a lot; I just wish he would love me too! Any encouragement would be great!!! I've enjoyed all of your posts. Nice to know I'm not alone.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
Skillet,

Sorry you are here but you've come to the right place for encouragement & uplifting. Of course, the first place you should turn to is your Bible & God's word. He will bring you out of darkness & help see you through this storm. My prayers are with you & your H. I pray that you will be given the strength to endure this trial ahead of you. Christ said it was glorious at the end but that it wasn't easy. He sure was right! God bless my sister & keep coming back!

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 584
AMEN!

when i came from my men's mtg tues, it was after midnight, and i forgot and ate something. on wed, i had promised Noelle that she was taking me to dinner (gift certificate from school for reading) so i changed up the days. i fasted thurs.

i did pray on wed for all of us, but not in my usual fashion, being preoccupied with other spiritual actions, etc.

so, i did pray and fast for all of us.

Love in Christ,
ttsmm


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5