My situation is that My wife and I were Associate Pastors at the church we attended. I needed to take a secular job as the ministry could no longer provide adequate financial support. She resigned her position as praise and worship leader. This was the begginning down the road to trouble. It wasn't very long before I was visiting a bar that my friend owned and had my first A. My marriage was not in good shape because in ministering to others needs we neglected our own.
This "A" continued for about a year and a half. I felt the Father telling me to come clean but the affair was providing so many EN's that it was very difficult to let go of. So I didn't... It wasn't long after the Father's initial prompting that I was in a hot tub with two of my wife closest friends having sex. It doesn't take long to go from the frying pan to the fire. It was exactly one week later when my wife and her two friends were out drinking when one of the friends said lets go back to my house and have an orgy. That's exactly when my wife knew something happened the week before. She came home and started asking questions about what happened and I told her the complete story. She said well I guess you should know about who I've been having an affair with too, so she disclosed whom I've suspected but could not prove. I have not had contact with any of the women except for one. The problem is that because she was my wife's friend, I got her a job where I work. I have to see her everyday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I've been asking the Father to move one of us, as the daily reminder of the pain I've caused is too great some times. Not to mention the fact that I know It's a great challenge for my wife to know that I see her everyday.
My wife has tryed the NC with the OM but has since gone back to talking and spending time with him. This is a serious EA! He was meeting all of the needs that I was neglecting will trying to save the world. I have since made substantial deposits in her Love Bank. I'm am confident that she needs to see that the changes I've made will be lasting instead of short lived.
At times she is warm to me and other times very distant. She's typically warm when friends and family are around. She doesn't want anyone to know the reality in which we live.
Please pray for a godly influence in her life that she can open up to. Pray that God destroy any soulties or connection with the OM. Pray that I continue to grow and be the man that God has called me to be.
