Hi MB-ers,
I just wanted to share with the group that I'm feeling somewhat sad today, because I found out yesterday that my exH is up to his old tricks again. It was my son's birthday and we all went over to have steak in his honor, and after the meal, my exH wanted my son to watch Howard Stern's Show (which is basically just exploiting women for ratings AND his way of making it as if his SA is okay). Then I started to notice around the ex's house things like posters of women with big boobs, and his web cam set up, and stuff that was marked "private" on top of his desk, and well, you all know...things that aren't obtrusive but that you notice when they are back in their SA illness. I don't know why he tries to "hide" things or mark them "private" because it's not like anyone lives with him anymore, and he is completely free to do whatever--we are divorced after all, so he doesn't need to hide it anymore.
Anyway, I'm sorta sad, because my exH refuses to admit he has a problem...or that the way he views women as sex objects is inappropriate...or seek any help or recovery. In his own words, "Those sex-addicts are sick! I'm not that bad! I don't need any help!"
On the other hand, I am very grateful that he is my EX, and that I no longer need to be involved in or wrapped up in the lies and drama of that kind of existence. I'm happy to say that I now have the freedom to keep working on me and my side of the road, and I'm pleased with the progress I've made and proud of myself for not mentioning what I saw or getting into things I can not control. It's just...well, I'm sad because of course at one point I loved my ex and wished that he wanted to get well. It's sad to see that same old denial and those same old secrets and stuff--you know.
That's it.
CJ
