We went to the workshop last fall, came by to something that improved for a time, but has since been devastated. We were instructed to skip all material and just go to the Love Busters section of the material and cover that. We started to, but, that did not last. Wife not interested in the lessons anymore; not interested in doing anything good for the relationship. Believe she has made up her mind to leave, has left emotionally, and is beyond this relationship. So, I find I am the only one attempting to make this happen and the only one striving for reconciliation.

Trying to remain hopeful, loving, and optimistic. Yet, I feel only foolish; as though all my efforts are in vain (and worthless). I have been reminded lately that our fight is not against flesh and blood --- trying to keep this in mind, and remain optimistic through it all.

Would pray for a breakthrough ! ! ! Thinking there must be an "easier" and less painful way, but I am not seeing it. Sometimes the easy way is the hardest way- God help us all through our struggles. World is opposing marriages and so is society and the sanctity of this institution. How then can this be preserved?

God in Heaven, please hear our cry and help us - for all is against us, but You.

I have come to some realities about my imperfections in the relationship. Even so, I still find it hard to understand why things have regressed to this degree... I always thought it would take much more than this to bring about a broken marriage and relationship(s).

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for the unwilling spouses. That they would be humbled and their hearts be softened to the will of God. AMEN.

Lord,

We ask your blessing on 2plus2 and his wife. May they see your path for them, and may it result in the reconcilliation of their relationship.

Amen


2plus2,

While I can understand the tough time you are going through, examine your heart and make sure that you are not continuing to commit "love busters", even unintentionally. (Actually, I could use that advice myself!) I recently found out that my wife *seriously* resents the time I spend working with computers (which I enjoy) and believes that I place them above her... which is not true. Sometimes, it appears that she just wants to hang out in front of the TV, so I go and do other things. What she wants is me to hang out with her. If she asked, I would happily stop whatever I'm doing and spend time with her. The problem is she doesn't ask, so I have to "mind read" which doesn't work too well. Fortunately, I am now aware of the problem, so I can choose to spend at least half the time I would have spent on other things with my wife. I don't know how well I'm doing yet... but things do seem to be improving.

All the best!
Richard

2plus2

In the book of James, it teaches us that if we ask for wisdom concerning anything that God would give it to us freely. Why? Because he doesn't want us to make the wrong decisions. Ask him for wisdom on how to be part of the change in your marriage. He will do it... God is your trump card so to speak.

Remember God often takes us to a place where we are completely empty and broken. It is in these situations that He will get all of the Glory.

What surgeon would go in for a disease and leave part of it there and suture the patient up. That's not the way it works. A good doctor gets all of the sickness out, so we can be completely healed.

Father, strenghen 2p2 right now and give him peace. I pray for wisdom as to how he should love his wife as your Son loved the church. Give him the wisdom to know when it's time to work on computers and when he should be investing with his wife. Give him the balance you desire for him. Father I thank you for restoring his marriage, even before we see it happening.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

2p2

Just another thought.

It only takes one spouse to recover a marriage.

When we (sinners)were all in adultery(loving other gods) Christ died for us. We are his bride and he is the groom. He was willing to die for us to bring us to himself. All it took was one willing to be obedient to the Father. (Not my will, but yours be done). It just takes one. If it took both parties for the process, few if any marriages would be saved. Trust Him, he CANNOT AND WILL NOT FAIL!

For those who have prayed - thank you!

Status update not looking too good, however. On Friday evening my wife went out with a former neighbor, her husband, and "others". [She did not get home until 5:00am] As it turns out, she met someone there and exchanged e-mail addresses. She would not admit to this, but I actually caught her. She was reading her e-mail in our home office when I stepped up behind her to ask her a question and saw an e-mail from him. She tried to cover it up insisting it was just some bulk mail she must have gotten. Not true, she had received an e-mail from a friend of hers with the same labeling. I finally asked it directly and called her to the table on it ---that was not comfortable for me at all. Then she finally told me that it was someone she met and they only exchanged e-mail addresses. Not true either. Found his business card in her coat pocket with his home number written on the card. In addition to this, I found another piece of paper with handwritten personal e-mail address and cell phone number on it. I will let that be it for now.

If the prayers have been uttered, let them be shouted. I am struggling to keep my marriage together, yet feel the more I try, the worse things get. May God grant us love and healing. For our sake and the sake of our children. AMEN.