Here’s how God works. Yesterday, I really struggled with the somewhat interested, not unattractive security guard guy at work who I am dutifully and purposefully ignoring (almost completely, but I have some humanity). My husband has not looked at me with any interest in just under six months (he is in fact “repulsed by me” – great for a girl’s self esteem, eh?)
Little background interruption to my story: I am only 23. We have been married 2 yrs, OP came at about 1 ½ years of marriage, 4 ½ years together total. At point OP came no significant problems that I was aware of, we had just started working at children’s home. WH tries to say now that there were problems before OP, but why would we have gone to work with children that needed a stable family environment if we had problems in our marriage? WH and I had had good relationship – he was my first and only boyfriend, kiss, and
after marriage of course etc... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> We went to Christian college and wanted to work in ministry together. We got married after I graduated and I worked while husband finished college. Went to children’s home right after he graduated. Didn’t have steady church or strong walk with God individually or together before and during (except for my personal walk when I turned Home) work at children’s home so I think Satan just moved right in and started work on my husband…..and OP. EA was exposed to OP’s family, lots of complicated stuff I don’t want to get into, quit our jobs, WH and I were going to work on marriage so we moved near his family, but OP came too. Guess how much work on our marriage got done? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Hmmmm. I moved out three weeks ago and told him that when he was ready to work on our marriage I was here for him. He and OP and his sister and brother-in-law moved out of mom’s house and were (maybe are) living together in an apartment. Supposedly OP is or has moved out and WH had moved out too – it’s all strange and he won’t tell his mom where he’s at. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I haven’t even asked.
Ok, so more than a little background I guess. Anyways, so definitely temptation in the security guard (who is even reading a cool book – ergggggh) have fled as best I could (I am the Ice Queen!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) Makes me miss my husband. Last night, my husband calls and tells me he is going to see an attorney. He then tries to tell me that at one point I had told him toward the end of our stay at children’s home if I really loved him I would sign papers or whatever (this in fact is a conversation that I never, ever remember having – he is very deluded <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ). I told him real love is doing the right thing and divorce is wrong (same thing I told him all summer and fall!!!) I had already checked with a lawyer so I know nothing is going to be legally able to happen for at least five months. He’s not going to like that.
Needless to say, sad night. I love my husband very much and I wish he would just love me, instead of trying to blame the problems in his life on me. So, new day, new start (albeit an I overslept by 55 minutes start – oops). I get in to work and BAM God steps in – I have an interview today that I thought I was NEVER going to have for a job that would pay significantly more than I am making now and be much more fulfilling. The interview(s) went super well, the job sounds great, and God is just too nice to me!!! I think a new job would make a great Valentine’s Day present from my Abba, don’t you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I kind of need the extra money, because (unbeknownst to me until I moved out) we are in way over our heads with the credit card debt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Yikes. So, I will suck it in for a year or two and get out of my share of the debt – whether I get this job or not.
The whole point of this long and rambling post was to point out that God is really, really good and He does take care of His children. (I also just wanted to fill you guys/girls in on my situation now that I am feeling more comfortable here. Thanks to all of you for your prayers!)
And I start fencing tomorrow!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<small>[ February 06, 2004, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: skilletsoup ]</small>
