H just called and said his mom has kicked him out and he wants me to come and get him and bring him here.... I asked if it was for good, was he done... Has he made up his mind.. He said well talk when he gets here... For what.... so he leaves tomarrow????<P>OW is still strong in his life.. He has not made a choice.... just wants me to bail him out and give him a place to take a nap...<P>GOING CRAZY<P>cozy

Oh gosh, what a tuffy. I know if it were me I would love to hear my H say that. But gosh I feel like he is using you. Where is sweety pie? I would almost feel like saying no. I feel like maybe I would tell him that he is more than welcome to come home when he is ready to stay, for good. Doesn't sound like that is the reason though. I'm sure whatever the answer you give him will be for the right reason. Think of yourself here. Can you handle any more rejection? Whatever you chose, stand your ground. Let him know why you made your choice. Good Luck

Cozy,<P>Did you ask him why OW can't take him in? I would. If his first allegiance is her, then let her come to the rescue. Might open is eyes, a little.<P>Good Luck. Let us know what happens...

cozy,<P>one question.<P>Why did he call for you, and not OW.<P>If OW is still strong in his life, why isn't he moving in with her.<P>My feeling is : let him come home to talk, but leave his bags in the boot (trunk), and talk talk talk.<P>You'll know in your heart of hearts what he is saying.<P>If all he needs is a bed for the night - kick him out.<BR>If he's making that first move towards you - talk talk talk. But leave those bags in the boot.<BR>Let him know he is not going to disrupt your life, just because its CONVENIENT for him.<P>I want to say more, but I get the feeling you want a reply now.<BR>That's my gut feeling, and my first instinct.<P>Take care, think of yourself, and follow your head. Listen to your gut feelings.<BR>Is he genuine<BR>Is he using you<BR>What is he REALLY saying to you<BR>LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN<BR>Don't blow up<BR>Keep your cool<BR>Take care<P><BR>Hugs for you<BR>Jo

It is a perdictament...but you have a right for yourself to know why the OW is not assisting. You can't be too available it can easily become a patern. Be strong and keep us posted. <BR>Jackee

Man, Cozy, you have a good one here. I don't know. I know I would break down and let him come home. I also know that I probably shouldn't.<P>You gotta follow your instincts on this one. I, too, wonder why OW is helping him out of this????<P>Good luck.<P>Lori

<B>Bravo... Bravo... Bravo...</B><P>Everyone knows the right answer to the question... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Without total separation, marital recovery is almost impossible. (page 56 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>.<P>No matter how much we all think this is a "toughy"... it really isn't.<P>I agree with everyones final thoughts...<BR>You can't take H back until H rejects the OW!<P>Talk is OK... (way to go Jo!...leave his bags in the boot... I love it!)...<P>Plan B... doesn't mean hate your spouse...<BR>But <B>affirm</B> the intent of your Plan B letter... at the start of your conversation... and reaffirm it at the end of your conversation.<P>Prayers for strength! <P>Jim

Don't get in a panic Cozy - breathe....<P>What thoughts did you have since the last thread about this? Did you form a plan?<P>You know that these circumstances are not right...he knew that this was going to happen and should have already talked with you if he was serious....<P>I's sorry but it seems that he is using you and has not decided anything except that he is taking care of himself!!!<P>He's a big boy......<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba