Hi guys,<P>I haven't had a question for you all for a while, I knew it wouldn't take me long.<P>As you all know, I'm in Plan B, until Christmas when H comes to visit for 4 days, and he is staying with me for 2 of them. (The other two he will be at my house, but I'll be at my sisters)<P>As you all also know, my H shares our marital home in Melbourne with OW's sister and her fiance.<BR>OW shares with a friend of ours, Jeff.<P>Well, I spoke to Jeff 2 nights ago, didn't ask him any questions about H and OW, but he wanted to talk to me. He asked how I was, how I was doing, very nice, and very genuine.<BR>But, he did let me know that H is doing all the chasing. Sorry, I lied, I did ask Jeff if they seemed close and loving - he said "no, not at all"<P>I guess in my mind I told myself that she was doing all the chasing, and that he was weak and couldn't say no.<P>This changes things.<P>I think all feelings for him have died now. I don't think I feel anything for him. I have asked myself the ? that if he wanted to come home, is it just because she doesn't want him, so, if he can't have her, he might as well come home.<P>I AM NOT GOING TO BE SECOND BEST FOR ANYONE.<P>I am calm, and quite collected. But I think that's it. <P>I was wondering how I would ever get over the betrayal and all those associated feelings, but I felt that I could. With the knowledge gained from this site and you guys, and how I felt about him, ie, my love for him, I could have gotten over this.<BR>Now, I don't know if I want to try.<P>You also know that I've had 3 readings with 3 different tarot readers, and all of them said in various ways, that this girl means nothing, his emotional attachment is with me and not her, and that he's heading for a big ego fall etc etc, and that we will reconcile and be very very happy. <BR>But, he is chasing her. Not the other way around.<BR>Knowing that he is the one who must have initiated all this, I don't think I want him back.<P>What do you guys think ?<P>I'm thinking of you all, and starting to pray again.<P>Jo<P>ps my parents are babysitting today (Sat) I've got a leavepass until Sun. morning. Yay, lunch with the girls, staying at my sisters, can drink more than 1 glass of wine, no kids, make eyes at men (joke joke).<BR>I probably won't be back to the site until this time tomorrow. <BR> <BR>Thanks so much guys, and hugs to you all.<BR>Have a nice Friday night.

Hey, Jo. Won't write much tonight. I think you go have your day of relaxation and think about all this again after that.<P>It's new, and fresh in your mind and now's probably NOT the best time to make a life-altering decision. (Sounds silly when everyone else seems to make tons of those FOR us, doesn't it?) You know what I mean.<P>Have fun, btw. You deserve it.<P>Talk w/ you tomorrow.<P>Lori

Jo... have fun... relax... <P>I too will get back to you tomorrow with some more Plan B thoughts... <P>Jim