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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">:Originally posted by steadfast and committed: Aahhh! A discussion about something I am passionate about. I would love to do that. God a "wild lover". What's the wildest thing He could do? Pay for the transgressions we commited against Him. Is that insane or what? For the person we sin against to do the punishment!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, I get it! [Smile] </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You mean that's all I really needed to say? gee <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by steadfast and committed: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">:Originally posted by steadfast and committed: Aahhh! A discussion about something I am passionate about. I would love to do that. God a "wild lover". What's the wildest thing He could do? Pay for the transgressions we commited against Him. Is that insane or what? For the person we sin against to do the punishment!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, I get it! [Smile] </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You mean that's all I really needed to say? gee <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, if you feel the need to pontificate a bit longer... I give you permission!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But yeah, you explained it well, and I *do* get it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Nah. I hope I never have that "need". I try to keep my ramblings to a minimum if I can.
In His arms.
S&C
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Hey Diamonzzz, I hope you will come back to this thread and we can discuss life a bit more. This is a weekend with my H's children, so I won't be on much at all, but have some free time off and on tonight. I should have asked for prayer earlier, because my stbSIL had gall bladder surgery today and my middle daughter is flying all over the country to see her boyfriend, on leave from the Navy. I've had a candle burning all day! So, I'm on and off the computer (dial-up, remember? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )awaiting results from the surgery (so far, so good) and hoping to hear from my other daughter about her boyfriend. Be back later... and thanks to everyone who is reading, praying and responding to this thread. I feel safer being myself here (in the Prayer Request Section)... and that's a big deal.
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Hey, lovely Miss Sheryl, How is your stbSIL? Have you heard any news about his surgery? Until you do, would you like to chit chat? I don't think you chased anyone away last night. I can't speak for everyone, but I don't log on every night...and last night I had a WONDERFUL surprise! A dear old friend whom I hadn't heard from in about 6 months (phone was disconnected, and when he went to try to reconnect it, couldn't get his old number back!) called and ended up coming over last night. It was SO FUN to talk and talk and talk and just catch up!!! YAY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> My guess would be that other folks likewise had other obligations etc. ANYWHO, as you know, I know what the thing is that was/is bothering you , and I will try to express to you a couple of girlfriend thoughts whilst also respecting your hesitation to say it yourself (know what I mean?) First, I'd say that I strongly agree with s&c: God has freed you from all guilt and sin the moment you repented from it, lovely, so any whisper in your ear that brings this up again is not a whisper from God. Let's use this analogy. If you and I have a fight and IMHO you make horrible choices that drive a wedge between us--but then the day comes in which you admit to yourself that you made a mistake and hurt me, and you come to me and do REPS (take [R]esponsibility, express [E]mpathy, have a [P]lan for change, and encourage [S]afety), I would forgive you wouldn't I? And once I have forgiven you, you may still have to live with the consequences of some of your choices but between you and me, it's as if it never happened and I love you again. Right?? Well, chick, I am just a human being. If you approach the Creator of the Universe and are truly repentent, He is ANXIOUS to take you back in His arms and forgive you. Yep, you may have to live with the consequences of your choices, but between you and Him, it's as if it never occurred. In His eyes, you appear to Him as PERFECT (you hear me?)...you are the RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST (and yep--even tho I'm Jewish, I get that--haha). So, everything is forgiven between you and I, and you are right with me again and we love each other again, would you keep bringing it up and apologizing and flagilating yourself? No! (Well, maybe the Drama Queen would--giggle, tease). Nope, chick, it's DONE, isn't it? We are right and we are square, so you would live in the present and get on with a new day of our friendship. When there's that voice in your ear saying, "...maybe God is punishing you for destroying your old family..." or "...you'll be chastised forever for the sins of your past..." that is not God's voice, lovely. That voice keeps you locked in the past so that you are not free and not able to be victorious today. It's a way of keeping you immobilized. When you hear that voice, I want you to say this OUT LOUD: "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" Now, at first you'll be saying that about 1000 times a day, and at first it will feel funny/unnatural to not have the worry/guilt. But guess what, dear? We are not called to be ruled by "it feels wierd"--we are called to obey even if it feels unnatural. Remember how it felt wierd at first to not be abused and not have the continuous crisis involved in abuse? It was more healthy for you, but it "felt" odd didn't it, and in some way, your body missed the adrenalin rush of all the drama, right? But your head knew that it was better for you, and you just had to get used to the way it feels to good through life relatively peacefully and calmly--it "felt" a little boring, didn't it? Same thing here. It's gonna feel like something's missing when you don't have the guilt to carry around anymore. Once you put down that boulder because you know it isn't yours to carry anymore (cuz Jesus took that boulder for ya), you'll probably be tempted to pick it back up. I know it sounds "easy" but all you need to do is not pick it up. Of course, this also means that you trust your boulder to someone else's care--and personally, I think that's part of the problem here too. You ARE forgiven, and even if you don't feel like you're forgiven, you have to TRUST that you are and let someone else take it. That is SO HARD!! So practice with me. "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" Now, Sheryl, are you being chastised for chosing to move to be with your husband? "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" Are you being made to suffer for not being with your youngest? "I AM COMPLETELY LOVED AND FORGIVEN. I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS VOICE!" ********** Second, when you say you are on the verge of being where you were before (you know...a little vaguely but I remember), let me just remind you of this. My financial position has changed dramatically before and after divorce. Before: I was a successful business owner, respected member of the community and business groups in our city, owner of a large home in a rich neighborhood, new cars, etc. etc. You remember right? Now, After: I lost the business, work for 1/3 of our previous monthly income, am still a respected member of the community and city, own a small but respectable townhouse, have my same old car (but I own it) etc. etc. Post-separation, it took me 6 months to find employment AT ALL, and months after that to find employment that would sustain one short woman and two bottomless pit teenagers. My point here is that its not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (btw, I mean that in a kidding way) Some days I miss being a wealthy, successful, pillar of the community socialite type. Other days, I am SO THANKFUL for my children, and my house that I am decorating MY way (yep, that's right...*I* get a say now!), and my puppy, and my good old dependable car. It's not the Ritz anymore, Princess, but I own it all outright, and it's my happy shetel (note: not a shtetl because there's not enough room for that extra "t"!! heehee). I think one day, if I desired it, I could regain most of those material successes, but it just isn't what is important to me, AND IT NEVER WAS. Back then, when I was the successful rich lady, what was important to me was knowing God...raising my kids to be good people...the companionship of my pets...the love of good friends...the moon on the trees at night. Guess what? All those things are FREE and all those things were denied me by my former life. I could not share a spiritual relationship with God with my exH (you know that), and not being able to share that hurt me. Now--I can be as close to God as I want and joyfully!! Now, I can raise my children in a peaceful, happy, calm, healthy environment, and the difference in them is noticable. I don't lie to them or keep secrets or blame them or scare them. Do ya get my point here, love? Jobs do not equal riches, and riches do not equal money. The very richest stuff is FREE...and it really is not about getting what you want, but about wanting what you've got. ********** Serious stuff aside for a minute...do you want to color? I do!! I have two Peanuts colorbooks and 64 crayons calling my name!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> See?? JOY. I love you, ya know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> CJ
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Well CJ, funny thing about those coloring books - they call me too! Guess what? Over the summer my oldest daughter got me crayons and a Disney Princesses coloring book (I'd had to leave my crayons and Barbi book here, of course)... and didn't I color each of my girls a pretty picture and even SIGN them? They are hanging in their rooms as I speak. Yeah, they're 20+ year olds, but they know good art when they see it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You may be getting a pretty picture in the mail some day soon - who knows? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Actually, you've written quite a mouth/hand/eye-full here, and I will respond in more detail later. I have to log out of here to check on my stbSIL. Last I heard, he'd had to stay a bit longer than expected (the gall stone was huge and there were some complications)... I do want to go check. I will be back later and will respond. In the meantime, I love you too, and thank you.
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Okay, I'm back... Just spoke to my ex, and he said stbSIL is safe at home. He also told me our other daughter called and is safely en route to her friend's home - on the ground - with her boyfriend! Yay! [removed personal identifiable information] Anyway my friend, I love you too... and I am off to color a Princess for my friend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <small>[ March 04, 2004, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by new_beginning: <strong> Just spoke to my ex, and he said stbSIL is safe at home. He also told me our other daughter called and is safely en route to her friend's home - on the ground - with her boyfriend! Yay! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YAY! Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Yep, I know what you mean. I *do* hesitate to say some things myself, and in fact, to discuss them in public. I've found that a cleansing can occur, but it's selfish if someone else is hurt by it. It's never about me and my comfort level. Not for a self-punisher like me. I tell way too much personal stuff (generally) and am trying to build a safe place for myself while maintaining the honesty and integrity I hold dear. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well as you know my sis, I also tend to be too open, and yes, cleansing can occur, but you can also be fileted. This is the delicate balance that we need to walk--guarding our heart while also being open and honest. How far is openness and how far is too far? </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>CJ, this is EXCELLENT! You said "whisper" and I thought 'YES YES YES!' This is precisely what happens to me. How did you know? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are so funny, Sheryl. I knew because I hear the whisper too. I actually had to tell my whisper to shut up, and I had to take some conscientious steps to retraining my whisper. My whisper very thoroughly itemized my every sin and misstep, and when I realized that was NOT God's whisper, I had to work at telling that whisper to be quiet and yet be still enough to hear God's voice...telling me, "You are loved", "It's okay", "You are beautiful to me", "You are valuable", "You are indescribably precious", "You are a perfect creation", "I made you just the way I want you". </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Absolutely true. I am locked, paralysed, completely immoble... and stuck in the past. Just tonight when I talked to my ex, he said something that hurt me so bad -- and yet, he wasn't trying to hurt me, he was merely speaking the truth about something. Things like this happen too often... the very deepest, most tender part of my soul, is layed out ALWAYS. It's like a wound that won't heal. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BOY, it is just like that...and partially it's because you won't let the wound heal. Now, having said that, bear in mind that our ex's are twin brothers of different mothers, so I know what it is to have an ex who says EXACTLY the thing that cuts to the bone, has no clue he has hurt you in the least, and if you mention it to him couldn't care less. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Yes, true enough. Somewhere down below you mention the drama, and it *is* that. Boring, perhaps for you, but for me, I still have the drama, but it's different. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, I know what you mean...the drama is still drama, but it's different drama. The thing that was hard for me to learn was how to not create drama because I missed the adrenalin, and how to live in day-to-day peace. Isn't that a little sad? That I had to learn how it feels to live peacefully? Anyway, based on my past and experiences, the crisis provided quite a rush, and the peace and serenity just "felt" rather boring. Oh, not boring..."not exciting" is better. At times I wished that something...anything would happen! Once again, it was like retraining myself that this is what normal, healthy life felt like. It felt steady and even and consistent, and frankly, that did not feel right to me. However, my calling is not to follow my "feelings" but to do what I know to do and trust the promises because God said 'em. If my "feelings" are inconsistent with what I know to be true, I have to tell my feelings that I'm not listening to them...I'm listening to God! </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>CJ--It's gonna feel like something's missing when you don't have the guilt to carry around anymore. Sheryl--Another "completely agree" and I don't know what I'll do when that happens. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh hon! you are going to say, "this feels like something's missing" and be tempted to pick that guilt back up! Hey, you might even bend over and wrap your arms around it in preparation of lifting it!! But when you notice you're doing your guilt-pattern again, stop. Just stop and be still. Do what you know to do, which is put that guilt back down. Say those words or a verse out loud. I know it seems hollow when you say them, but if you hear yourself saying those kinds of things out loud long enough, you do start to believe it. Stop. Be still. Speak God's whisper out loud. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Hmmm... saying the words doesn't help. Wanna know why? I don't believe them. Well, maybe that's not right... I *do* believe that I am loved and forgiven BY GOD, but I do not love and forgive MYSELF. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah I know. Me either. I mean, at first my head knew I was the Righteousness of Christ, but I didn't love myself, so I didn't believe it when I told myself that. I mean, deep down having self-worth and value. My inner me felt more like a dried up, dirty, worthless old sponge or really dirty used oil. That's why I spoke God's voice out loud--to teach myself to feel what I knew in my head. I wrote promises on sticky notes and posted them around my house--and when I read them, I spoke them out loud so my ears could hear a voice saying things to counteract what other voices had said out loud. Some of my favorites are: "I am with You ALWAYS." "In everything...everything...EVERYTHING give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." "Guard your heart for it is a wellspring of life." "All things work together for good for them who love God...for them who are the called according to His purpose." "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE WILL direct your path." "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." "Blessed is the man that walks not in the council of the ungodly, nor stands in the pathway of the sinner, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. His delight and trust is in the Lord. He meditates both DAY and NIGHT upon God's holy word. He shall be like a tree planted by rivers of water, that brings forth fruit in his season, his leaves also shall not wither." "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." "Lift up my eyes unto the hills from whence comes my help." I also wrote affirmation-type statements and spoke them out loud too. On my mirror, I stood where I usually stand in the morning to brush my teeth, and around my head I wrote in soap: "I am capable and beautiful" On my computer screen RIGHT NOW, I have written: "I am not responsible for other people's feelings" and the Serenity Prayer. I'm sure you get the drift. For people like you and I, my lovely, it does not come naturally and we literally have to teach ourselves as adults how to love ourselves. It's hard to learn at forty!! </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> What you wrote - very true. Those are two of my biggest struggles - the first family, and our son. I won't even go into what's been happening there, but as usual, my ex has no time and less of a clue about the specifics (his heart is in the right place, he is trying his best {I truly believe that] but it isn't getting done)... and I'm trying to do what I can from up here. Very frustrating.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Chick, I hear ya. Due to certain character flaws (and in my case mental illness issues) our ex's could try their best and not be getting the job done because, love 'em, but it's just too much for them to handle. Either something direly important gets ignored or missed, or there's an explosion because they can't handle the pressure, or something...right? Oh, they are frustrated, and they lash out in blame and projection. YUCK, that gets me every time! I'm still working on recognizing that. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Well... sigh. How do I respond to that? This upsets me because I do appreciate the sunshine, our cat, the freebies like that which God brings my way, but they don't pay the rent, car insurance or food, and those things are kind of necessary to live. This is truly another area where I question what God expects of me. You can tell I feel pretty strongly about this. I was told more than once to "bloom where you are planted" and to quit complaining (I wrote about this on another thread, so if it sounds familiar, it is <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )... and wondered how I'm suppose to do that when the seed is thrown onto cement. No soil. That's how I feel. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My heavens, girl, I would never dream of pontificating about appreciating the "freebies" in life to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I guess what I mean more is that I've had some loss in my own life--different from your loss but loss nonetheless--and at first I struggled with feeling like I wasn't able to provide for my children. I struggle to pay all my bills, buy groceries, and have $20 to rub together on the weekend! OTOH, my ex is making considerably more than he claimed in the divorce (btw, I'm not surprised, nor do I hold it against him; it's consistent with his character and sorta sad to me), and he takes the kids on shopping sprees and trips to Disney! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> (I mean this in the "OMG rolling eyes into the back of my head" way) My CHILDREN were the ones who helped me see that "Mom, you are there for us and always have been for as long as we can remember. You know us, you know our friends, you pay attention to us, and you give us rules and make us live up to them. All Dad has is his money and buying us. He really is a Disney Dad." WHOA! Ding-ding-ding. It's not about money. Yeah we need the paycheck to survive, and yeah I still hate having no money left and payday is days away...but what I give is not about money. I give them other stuff. In your particular set of circumstances, I think I would have to agree with the statement that you are a grown, mature woman now Sheryl and you have to take care of yourself. Your sweety loves you dearly and would hold the world on his shoulders to please you...but in the end, you are responsible to take care of yourself, even when you're married. Now, by golly, it's nearly that 1am-2am hour! I better off to bed before those men get all stirred up! haha I love you, great white northerner! CJ <small>[ February 28, 2004, 01:27 AM: Message edited by: FaithfulWife ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think we may have scared off everyone else... I hope not! I appreciate all different opinions about things, and like to learn </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You didn't scare us away. I just believe that Diamonzzz is giving you such fine wisdom that all I can do is simply agree with the things she is saying. And as always, S&C is right on the money! Listen to both of these wise people, they know what they're talking about.
I can relate to you, Sheryl. At first, I didn't feel worthy to receive this precious gift of salvation. I had sinned way too much and didn't deserve any of it. I'm learning that although none of us deserve it, we are saved regardless and I am so thankful for that. I thank Him daily for giving me the gift of His precious Son and can't help but thank Him for everything He has done for me. I thank Him for those struggles because without them, I wouldn't know what true happiness is!
You also mentioned something about accepting charity. I had always felt that way for many years. I didn't really accept help from others because I didn't "take any handouts" from people. Then I realized that I had been praying & praying for God to help me and I didn't look right in front of me. He WAS helping me. He was working through those people to give me the things that I needed and my children needed to see us through. What I had to learn to do was put my complete trust in Him that He would not leave me hanging. I don't know if this would help you or not, but what I did was make a list of things to be thankful for and every time I had something to add, I would add it to the list. Pretty soon I was adding things all the time because I started to see the littlest thing to be thankful for. My list is huge now & I'm learning to concentrate on those things instead of the hardships that I go through. THis helps me be thankful to HIm in everything. I see the way He works in my life every day & I thank Him all the time for those things.
When my H first left, he had not received his workers' comp settlement yet so we could pay our house taxes. We had until December 31st to pay these taxes or it was going to go into collections. My H finally received these funds but not until almost the end of the year. Then he had to wait for a week until the check would clear in the bank. This put us past the deadline to pay the taxes on the house. We also weren't getting along very well at this time so I wasn't sure if he would even give me anything towards it. I thought I was going to have to come up with this money all on my own with my paycheck. This absolutely could not be done as I didn't make enough money to save that quickly. During this time though, God was softening my H's heart and when he did receive the settlement, he sat with me and gave me the money for the full amount of the taxes. I thanked God right away because He had provided the means to pay these taxes. We were not going to lose the house! Of course, since I had sent the check after the deadline to pay, the check got sent back & I was told I had to wait for the tax collector's office to send me a bill. So I waited. We just received the bill and luckily, with our income tax coming in, we are able to pay the full amount plus the penalties for late fees. God did work this situation out for the good. He did provide in HIs own way. When these types of things happen, I always try to remember what God has told us, Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Do not worry about what you will eat, what you will wear, for your Father will provide. There's been many times that I didn't have enough money to go for groceries and I wondered what we would eat, what was I going to feed my kids? Lo and behold, I would search the cupboards and pray for God to bless us with a meal, and He would give me a whisper and I would look in the oddest place and find something to eat, no matter how small it was! He always provides. All we have to do is put our complete trust in Him and He will take care of us. Because he loves us.
I hope I helped a little bit. I understand your pain and frustration and hon, I know how hard it is to fully release yourself and accept the precious gift of salvation. We're all here to help you achieve that and my prayers are with you and your family. We all love you and thank God that you have joined this family of believers. Thanks for being with us.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 427
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Sheryl,
Just so you know, I also have been reading the posts, but have felt no need to intervene till now. You're problem as I see it is refusing to let your past "failures" go. You are so stuck in the past that it has become a way of life for you. It has even become your personality. You need to accept the fact that every person on this earth has failed God in some way. Everyone of us has to repent. And God says He is quick and just to FORGIVE us, and to remember no more. But we also have to not only believe that we are forgiven, we have to RECEIVE it!
At 45 years of age, you have a lot of future ahead if you will just start looking for it. God does have a way of making all things work together for good. LET HIM! But you have to ACCEPT it, and RECEIVE it! Actually to hang onto your past after God has forgiven you is sin. You are making God's word say something else than what they say.
I know you feel guilty about the past. And for a while God may let you because He "punishes sin where ever it is found". But He also says only for a season. He will NOT punish you forever. Your GENUINE repentence guarentees that!
I appreciate that you have come to this forum because our whole purpose is to make sure God is in His proper place in our lives. As S&C will tell you: live for God, and let God take care of the rest! I don't know that it is even necessary to tell your story again. I think most of us can pretty much guess. After all this is a marriage web site, and what is the main reason most people are here! You have some reat gals helping you thru this. Dzzz, and faithfulwife are pretty smart gals. They have been thru their tough times too, like the rest of us. But my goal is to take your shoulders, turn you 180 degrees, and show you the fantastic future God has in store for you!!!
God Bless Sheryl
sg
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 37
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Hi, Singleguy: I'm impressed, I must say. That was a good word you had for sheryl. OHIT (Dzz's husband) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 6,107
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Ohmygosh... I logged in between the s-kids being online, and I'm baking cookies (P-nut Butter, they take expertise, I tell ya!) and have to jump up and down to check them... so this might be a bit sporatic in response to your WONDERFUL posts to me... if so, forgive me. First, a Hi to OHIT - Diamonzzz's H! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thanks for dropping by! Next, Standing_for_M, I'm glad I didn't scare you away... sometimes when two people go back and forth on a thread, it does happen. I'm happy to hear that it hasn't happened here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> [removed personal identifiable information] Thanks EVERYONE for this discussion. You guys are the GREATEST. I hope I didn't say anything out of line... truly... I am trying... to seek God's guidance... and to be open to what you have to say. God Bless us all... <small>[ March 04, 2004, 07:48 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</small>
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Joined: Aug 1999
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CJ - I didn't forget you... I just had nothing more to add... you make perfect sense... about Disney Dad, about important things, about drama... about us.
I came back and realized I hadn't responded to you personally after your last post, so wanted to thank you... as I always do... for being my friend.
Love you too and BIG HUGS...
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