Jackee,<P>Boy, is this delicate. Not one of my usual topics, but I'll to try start this thing off. <BR>First, I realized that I didn't ask about ages and that does make some difference. If you are not sure H is having an affair, why do you think this behavior is connected? What makes you think he is having an affair. <P>Some general comments. Why did he not approach you for sex instead of "satisfying himself" ? Answers: Time, feelings that you would not be responsive, some fantasy, urgent need, habit.<P>Women claim that they understand male sex drive but I don't think they do any better than men understand having babies. It has been said that men think about sex every 10 seconds of every day. I don't know about the accuracy of the time but I do know it is very frequent. It is like a constant multitasking in our minds. Most/no men act on these thoughts (nothing would ever get done and we'd die of exhaustion
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) but they are there. Now, it is possible that your H is having a period of heightened sex drive. He has several options 1) ignore it (easier said than done) 2) approach you for sex (you may or may not be receptive) 3) Solve the problem himself. <P>It also may be true that nothing has changed but you are more aware of his activity for some reason.<P> I am not in the field of human sexuality, but I have heard that the drive in men sometimes increases with stress of some sort. It sure can increase with facination with another woman, who they would not approach in real life. If there were an affair I would suspect that the need would diminish.<P>I'll give you an example where women don't understand male sexuality. You have no doubt heard and certainly there are plenty of jokes about men having sex and then rolling over and going to sleep. THus leaving the women very frustrated. What does not seem to be commonly known is that the going to sleep is a natural reaction to having sex for men. It comes from the fact that after climax, a hormone is released to drop the males heart beat back down to safe levels. This hormone is a sedative. Men will masturbate sometimes simply to go to sleep when under stress. Further, if a male is tired or it is late at night (Ah! children) then the response is to fall asleep. It has nothing to do with the woman. Yet, many women will complain about this as if there partner is doing intentionally. Solution, is changing the time, getting more sleep before hand, or the woman going first so to speak. <P>This last part does not address you problem, but it does illustrate that people really don't fully understand the complexity of the sex act from a pure physiological point of view. <P>Hope this helps some, but I realize this has not really answered your question. That is difficult without more information.<P>JL<BR>