After I completed roll call, I scrolled back through and read your comment on men wanting praise. I agree and that was one of my main LB"s.

Me and my husband are on the mend, he hasn't actually verbalized that yet, but he does say things that I catch on to, we have been spending alot more time together, and I am feeling confident. I think he is still holding out, waiting to see if I am going to become the nag I was before. I have recognized alot of our problems, and he has told me I never thanked, or recognized the things he did for our family. I did but never thanked him enough. This is something that was important to him.

Anyway, I have told him recently, my appreciation for him being such a hard worker, for taking good care of our family, accomnplishing so much, spending time with us etc.. but all I get in return is a casual thanks, or that's okay, or you don't have to thank me for that.

Either he accepts these words of appreciation and just keeps it to himself or am I suppose to receive some kind of reaction here? I don't want to thank him every other minute for being here, even though I could. I just want him to know.

I don't even know what I am asking, your advice just sounded really good. I want to praise my husband, I am so blessed to have him for my husband, and I am so sorry that we have ended up here, because of me. It is awful to know that my lack of praise made this wonderful man feel like he had to move on with his life without us, to feel happy. Thank God he hasn't went anywhere.

Anyway, if you can understand any of this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> , I'd appreciate any words or prayers! Thanks!

nvrgvup,
Before sg chimes in here, let me say that praise is VERY important for a man. I know I didn't get the appreciation I wanted and that opened the door for me and I went down the wrong path. Having said that, in the past when I would receive praise after I did a show, or won a race, I handled it graciously, but felt uncomfortable hearing it. In my M I would definitely liked to have heard it more and at the times when I NEEDED to hear it. When she did praise me (appreciate what I did) I went from lighting up to again being gracious.

IHMO, unless he gets nasty, and unless your praise is "just words", keep doing it. It is working on his heart. God is working on his heart by him hearing the praises of his wife.

"Father, may your humble servant, nvrgvup, continue to give praises to her husband. And may You work on his heart through her words and sincerity. We ask this through Your Son, Jesus. Amen."

God's Grace,
ttsmm

nvrgvup,

Thank you for the nice compliment about what I said. If anyone is benefiting from being on the Prayer Requests forum, it's me!!!

I think that maybe there is still some hurt in your husband, maybe a lot! Maybe some distrust, maybe a little desire to punish you. But deep down your respect is still healing him! Love is still the most powerful force on earth, and everyone of us need it desperately, man or woman. I'm talking about genuine love of course that comes from deep in the heart. Healing takes time, and I would urge you to continue doing exactly what you are doing now. Also when the timing is correct, [ask God] you should be able to tell him that it is your desire to not only love him , but to respect him as well. Ask God to create that most intimate moment. The bible says that "love covers a multitude of sins".

So continue to do what you are doing. Don't focus on his response. It will come with time. Remember, doing the right thing is never wrong!

God Bless
sg

<small>[ March 01, 2004, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: singleguy ]</small>

nvrgvup,

What Trying said is so true. My H has been very clear that one of the reasons he left was because I was disrespectful of him and did not show him any admiration. Of course, I am correcting this behavior. This is a very important need for a man. Don't worry if he doesn't respond the way you expect him to. I'm sure he does appreciate it. He might very well want to remain humble & not get a "swelled head".

Sorry guys, that male ego can get quite out of hand if you let it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> teehee

standing,
The male ego, ok! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> What about some of the difficult feminine traits <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I would welcome those with open arms right now. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

God's Peace,
ttsmm

<small>[ March 02, 2004, 03:30 AM: Message edited by: tryingTOsaveMYmarriage ]</small>