TTSMM,

Thank you brother for clearing things up for me. I have no problem admitting to my fault in the mariage and willing to do anything to make it better. Her A is not a physical one, but I think the damage was worst the a physical one due to the fact that she didn't, and still doesn't think that she did anything wrong. Matter of fact we had this talk about 3 months ago and she stated that her integrity is still intact. I now know her needs since both of us read "the 5 love languages" for her it was quality time and for me it was word of affirmation, which I didn't realized was my love language until I read the book. It is sort of hard for me the be able to meet her needs since she hardly ever want to spent time with me anymore.

I do understand now why my wife seek out people on the internet and developed crush,infatuation. I did not fullfill her emotional needs and that's why she was/is seeking it else where. I have already forgive her for that and more than willing to work on our relationship. She, however, is not. She is a very confused woman rigth now as evident by the e-mail she sent me. Matter of fact, back in Jan 2 before I went to Hosuton and visit my parent for a week she had agreed to go to MC and go on a date when I get back, but once I got back she changed her mind and wanted a divorce <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . She had maintained that she still want the D, I will not stand in her way and will put all my trust in God.

Bad weekend..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Just pray for me when you have time...thanks...

(((((jamesp)))))

Just wanted to let you know I just prayed for you and will keep praying for your marriage. May God comfort you and give you peace.

H98

It was a really bad weekend for me...my FIL came by with his 20 some years younger girlfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if my wife didn't fall for some guy 20 some years older then her. They ignore me the whole night and I've never felt so alone......it was just a bad, bad day...thanks to all that praying for me...I feel like I'm at the end of my rope...

An another update,

Sunday night into Monday, she was very nice to me...I was very skeptical of why she was being so nice. I also found out that she had contacted and read some of the book from a cult out in California call MSIA. The website is www.msia.org. I confronted her with this and she said that she was only reading their materials for learning purposes and she had no inttention of becoming a member. I pray to God that what she said is true.

Tuesday night, after dinner she start talking about how will be be able to get along better. She even came up with a few questions the 2 that I remembered are "what have we leanred for the past year about eachother that we can do better? What can we do to trust each other again?" I was getting really excited and thought that may be she had turned around. I asked her to write those questions down and e-mail it to me so that we can both answer it and compare notes.

Thursday morning (My birthday), she called me at work and ask me to pick a place to go for my birthday dinner. I asked her if she could send me the questions so that we can both work on it to which she said:" those questions are not for marraige Jim, they were for us to get along better for the children" and with that she had ruined my birthday. I was hurt and angry so I asked her if she wanted to proceed with the divorce then have her lawyer contacted mine as soon as possible and I would like this to get over with as quickly as I can. I came home early from work becuase my daughter wanted to spent sometime with me on my birthday. Once I got home she was very nice to me and offer to give me hugs. The rest of the afternoon was uneventfull. We went out for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and to my supprise, the kids behaved perfectly for the 2 hours that we were there. Matter of fact, It was one of the nicest time I have had in a long, long time adn I thanked her for it and went to bed.

So here I'm, I thought I had some good news to report, but I guess it will have to be in God's time and not mine. So what did all that means? not once in the Tuesday night she she gave me any hint that the conversation was gear toward getting along better for the children. I'm torned, not sure what to think anymore. I hate this roller coaster ride. Please God, let get off it as soon as possible.

Thanks again for all your prayers I'm sure God is working and that I really appreciated.

jamesp,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thursday morning (My birthday), she called me at work and ask me to pick a place to go for my birthday dinner. I asked her if she could send me the questions so that we can both work on it to which she said:" those questions are not for marraige Jim, they were for us to get along better for the children" and with that she had ruined my birthday. I was hurt and angry so I asked her if she wanted to proceed with the divorce then have her lawyer contacted mine as soon as possible and I would like this to get over with as quickly as I can.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If that comes up again, as she says, "to get along better for the children", agree with her. What will you gain by arguing or showing you are disappointed? Let her bring up the divorce, not you.

Even though you have found the Lord, you will still be tempted by Satan and his lies. You immediately ran to, "...I would like this to get over with as quickly as I can." You showed your wife anger, resentment, control. Yes control because, well if you don't love me anymore, then get this over with as quickly as you can, so I can move on in my life. Even though the divorce is her decision, you STILL want to control her. I am not saying be happy with the fact of divorce, I am saying making it safe for her to think and make decisions herself, even wrong ones. She needs to see that you care for her because she is a person, who can think for themselves.

I am not saying this is going to be easy to do, but, pray for the HS to guide you in your thoughts, words and actions around your wife. This is is MVOHO <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God bless,
ItsInHisHandsNow

ItsInHisHandsNow,

Thank you my brother for your kinds words. You are right Satan had a lot to do with what happened yesterday. I hope that I can control my self better next time.

Actually, now that I think about it, I pray to God before we went out to dinner lastnight and as it turned out I had one of the best time in a longtime. The children were well behaved and we just enjoy ourself. God is working, I know it, it just sometime Satan get to me. I need to focus on God more than ever now.

Another one of the update thing!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This weekend was horrible, it rained all day Saturday and snowed Sunday, today is sunny and beautiful...go figure..lol.

My wife is feeling very down, she cried all day yesterday. I tried to comfort her the best I could, but she still feeling quite sad. She said that she still feel the same and her mind was made up. One thing that I find some what disturbing, it keep on telling me that I don't love her and I never did. She even tried to get me to admit that I don't love her to which I would never admit to. I asked her what is it what I can do to show her that I love her and she did not have answer. All I know is that I love her and that I would do anything to prove that to her. Any body here have any ideas what I can do? Mean while, I will keep on praying and hoping that God will change her heart.

Just another one of those downed day again, it seems I get a lot of thoses these days. Yesterday, when I came home my wife asked me for a hug, which suprised me a little since she doesn't do that often nowaday. I was glad to give her one and she kissed me on the cheek, at the same time she said this is not about bring romantic to which I told her that I understood. I guess I could take heart the fact that she atleast wanted to hugged me for one reason or another. I have the second councenling session about "getting along better to the childrens sake" tonight. Please pray that God guide me in what to say and how to say it without upsetting her. God is working, I know it, I just wish that he let me in on it a little... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

the past few days has been nice, no fighting, well there was a couple brief moment when I thought that it might happened, but thank to both of us it didn't happened and we did things as a family unit which was nice. She still want the D as far as I know. I must say that the last few weeks overall was great, I haven't felt like that in a long, long time. Thanks to all who are praying for me. You'll are in my prayers everyday. God bless!!