Hi,

I've been divorced for nearly 5 yrs. To this day, I struggle with how I am suppose to live. As a *single* woman? As a married woman? Am I free to marry? Shall I continue to wait for reconciliation? Is marriage really until death do you part?

As you can see, my mind is full of questions with little answer and not much peace.

I was the BS in my marriage (however, it is truly irrelevant who did what....I was just as guilty at making mistakes in my marriage....and I do believe in forgiveness). I know there are those who say I can and should remarry. There are those who say I'm bound until death.

I'm so tired of thinking about this. I'm tired of wondering about this. I just want to get my life to where God wants it to be. I am human and I so miss the comforts of a man in my life (I've been celebate since my H left 5 yrs ago). I long for a man to hold me and care for me and love me.

I know no one has the answers. I guess I just needed to vent a little and hope that someone out there understands my pain, my struggles.

B

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by butiloveu:
<strong> I know no one has the answers. I guess I just needed to vent a little and hope that someone out there understands my pain, my struggles.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hear ya, and I'd like to give you a big ole cyberhug.........

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{butiloveu}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I totally understand. My H left almost 3 yrs ago, and we have been div'd almost 2 yrs. I have not dated, am believing God for restoration of our M.

Would I recommend you do the same? I can't answer that for you.

You say you want what God wants. That's good! That's a good place to be. AND, I believe God wants to tell you where He wants to lead you, and help you get there!!

Keep seeking HIM. HE WILL DIRECT YOUR STEPS. He loves you more than you can comprehend. As long as you are obedient to His Word, He has promised to work in your life FOR GOOD.......

In the meantime, know that we are all praying for you and we all love you!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

P.S. I want you to think about this, too. Just now, as I was re-reading your post, I was struck by all the questions, all the indecisiveness. butilove..............THIS ISN'T GOD TALKING TO YOU!!!!

Satan is the father of lies. HE has you wondering what to do. God our Father will NEVER leave you hanging..........HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU ALL GOOD THINGS. Just ask Him.

God Bless,

<small>[ March 07, 2004, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

Lupolady,

Thank you for the hugs....I appreciate that!
I also appreciate that you understand all the emotions and thought that goes along with divorce. It's draining and sometimes all consuming.

I totally agree with you that Satan is the father of lies and is using this to confuse me. Unfortunately, it is working.

I was standing for my marriage. For about 3 years. We did *try* to reconcile several days before the divorce was granted, then several months after the divorce was granted.

I can say that I've not been standing for a while. It seems so pointless. I rarely see/speak to him and we share a child together that he see only very briefly throughtout the year.

He is not a believer. I can only speculate on his lack of responsiblity toward his child. Guilt? I don't know. I do know that his comfort level around us is not good. Seems he can't wait to get back to the life he has created without us.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Thank you for your response. I'm sure one day I'll understand what it is I'm suppose to do.

Blessings.

B

ButILovEu,

I'm not sure what to tell you as far as your situation, esp. with your husband not being a Christian.

I do think that sometimes we allow marriage to become an idol and society honestly does idolize sex, marriage, relationships. Singleness is often seen as some sort of "something must be wrong with you!" Or as unbearable. But it's really not.

I guess my "advice" to you would be to try to press on one day at a time. Try to serve God as a single person... don't look to date or remarry. The Bible says we are to be content in whatever state we are in (single or married... or divorced). We are to seek the Lord first and "all these things will be added unto you."

God often has us in various seasons of our life, and this may be a season for you in which you don't necessarily "get on with your life" as far as something exciting or relational (with a man) happening, but God does have plans for you.

God might have you right now where you are supposed "to be." It might be that it is a time in which he is pruning you and teaching you, etc.

I pray that He gives you peace and strength and that He takes away your loneliness and meets your need as your husband. I pray that you will really feel His presence and that you will find comfort in it.

God bless you.

<small>[ June 12, 2004, 04:38 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>