Can you please tell me how to 'let go and let God' handle everything when all is in such a whirlwind and you have to do and say things at any given moment.

I would love nothing more than to sit back and do nothing and watch the Lord work - but on the other hand I have a husband that is trying to get this divorce over with so he can move in with other woman.

I am faced with so many problems and choices that I just don't know how to deal with all the issues at hand. I am confused and want nothing more than my marriage to be restored - but my husband is determined that he made the right choices in leaving his marriage - my heart is breaking not only for me but for my boys. They are going to be thrown into an environment that they do not want.

Please pray for us - I do not know what to pray for anymore. I love my husband, but do not like the man he is right now. Thank you and God Bless.

I'm so sorry no one has responded so far. There are many wonderful, compassionate christian people on this list, and they all would have good ideas for you, so I have no idea why there haven't been any visitors to your thread.

Here's what I had to do to learn to "Let Go and Let God....":
I had to learn to focus more on God.....to read His Word more, so that it was constantly in my brain, rattling around in there. I started listening exclusively to christian Praise music, so the words to many songs were in my head, and I kept singing them all day long.

Whenever something pops into your head about him (and her), just shut it out, tell satan to SHUT UP!!! and start singing Praises or quoting scripture (that's what Jesus did to stay focused on the Father - quoted scripture to the devil).

DO NOT state the negatives. DON'T let them come out of your mouth!! Instead, whenever you have a negative thought, THANK GOD that He will put your M back together, that HE is in charge of your heart, and that He will turn your H's heart back into a heart for God and away from a heart of stone (which it is now). See? Quote scripture!

Go to the following web sites, and gain strength and insight from them:
http://www.restoreministries.net
http://www.rejoiceministries.org/

We are all praying with you.
God Bless,

All my love,

I had a hard time with this concept too. I didn't quite understand it. What I learned though was that if I focused my energies more on thanking Him for what I had, staying in HIs word daily, talking to Him all day, that helped me focus on Him more and not so much on what my H was doing. As long as I was concentrated on what my H was doing, I would get myself depressed and cry out to God asking HIm when things were going to change. This wasn't doing me any good and I believe it was delaying the process even more.

What I did was made a list of things to be thankful for and every time something else was given to me, I added to the list. I put this list up at work and looked at it all the time, especially when I wasn't having a very good day. It reminded me of all God has done/is doing in my life and it made me very grateful. After a while, I didn't focus so much on what my H was doing but rather what I could be doing for God.

As far as what my H said to me during those 5 months, I would repeat over & over how the words coming out of his mouth were tainted from the works of Satan and a bunch of lies. I had to rebuke those words and bind them to the love of Jesus every time. When it was time for me to speak to my H, especially because we have children together, I prayed right before I opened my mouth, not a long-winded prayer, but real short, God please put the right words into my mouth and usually what I had to say came out in a loving way. When I couldn't think of something nice to say or wanted to disagree with my H, I would just "be still", be "of a gentle and quiet spirit", "winning him over without a word". Have you tried to go to the Restore Ministries site? Lupo gave you the links in her post. Check them out. Erin Thiele really gives a lot of insight to our situations from a woman's perspective and scripturally based. Almost everything she tells us is based on scripture, not her own ideas, so it was money worth spending on those books.

I hope this helps. As lupo said, we are all praying with you. God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by allmyloveforever:
<strong> Can you please tell me how to 'let go and let God' handle everything when all is in such a whirlwind and you have to do and say things at any given moment. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When everything is a whirlwind around you, you have two choices--jump into the whirlwind too and spin around with it, or be in your own place of peace and serenity and let the whirlwind spin next to you. Allmyloveforever, you don't have to join in the tornado. "Be still and know that I am God." The serenity prayer really helped me: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Be peaceful.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I would love nothing more than to sit back and do nothing and watch the Lord work - but on the other hand I have a husband that is trying to get this divorce over with so he can move in with other woman. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think God wants us to "do nothing" when we let Him handle things. I think He wants us to DO what we know to do. He does not want to miraculously make corn appear when we can plant corn!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I am faced with so many problems and choices that I just don't know how to deal with all the issues at hand. I am confused and want nothing more than my marriage to be restored - but my husband is determined that he made the right choices in leaving his marriage - my heart is breaking not only for me but for my boys. They are going to be thrown into an environment that they do not want. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, here's what I do--maybe it will help you.

*I put up post-it notes all over the house (mirrors, doors, refrigerator, everywhere) of verses and thanks and positive thoughts (like "I am with you always" and "In everything give thanks") so that when my mind was thinking a negative thought or when I was feeling defeated, I saw a post-it note and changed my thoughts. Those negative, panicky thoughts are of the devil and not helping you.

*I started to memorize bible verses.

*I spent time quietly so that God had the chance to talk to me. I didn't "pray" or talk to Him--I was just still.

*If I had a decision to make and the two options seemed close to equal, I spent some time talking to myself asking myself which one I felt comfortable with and why. Sometimes I could get an answer to a problem if I just asked myself if this was the kind of woman God created me to be. Here's an example: "Should I fight to get sole custody based on mental illness and sexual addiction--or should I just let him have the kids--or should I share the custody?" Would I be within my definition of morally and doing what's right with any of these decisions? (No, I could not feel right about just abandoning the kids to him) Would I be the woman God created me to be if I used his mental illness against him? (No--he does have the illness, but I don't believe God wants me to be vicious or vengeful) Would I be comfortable with sharing custody and letting the kids home-base with me and spend time with him? (Yes, it would feel wierd but I would be the woman God wanted me to be, and my moral compass says it's the right thing to do).

*If I have several options that seem like I'd be the woman I was created to be AND it would be the right thing to do, I just randomly pick one and take one step in that direction. If God wants me to go there, He'll open the next door. If God doesn't want me to go there, He will slam the door shut in my face.

*No matter what is happening around me, no matter what circumstance or crisis is occuring, I keep myself and my life and my thoughts focused on God and doing His will. Do not concern yourself with your H and his choices--keep yourself on God's path. Do not consider the whirlwind right beside you--stay on the straight and narrow path. Do not turn to the left or right for a crisis--keep your mind stayed on Him and He will direct you.

God bless you, allmyloveforever.


CJ

Thank you so much for all your support. Coming to this site is so painful for me - just having a reason to visit breaks my heart. I am so thankful to God for guiding me in this direction - to know I am not ever alone in my every day battles is a blessing. I pray for each of us every night and ask for God's divine intervention. I know in my heart it is not God's will for our marriages to be torn, but that we do rejoice in the Lord and grow. So, here's to our continued growth - may we all be blessed with a knock on the door or the ringing of the telephone and that all to familiar voice telling us 'I love you' and 'I am so sorry' - until then, I will be strong in my faith and believe - God is in control.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So, here's to our continued growth - may we all be blessed with a knock on the door or the ringing of the telephone and that all too familiar voice telling us 'I love you' and 'I am so sorry' - until then, I will be strong in my faith and believe - God is in control.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AMEN!!! When I read this it just brought tears to my eyes. I too will be strong in my faith and believe - because God IS in control!!!

Letting go and letting God has also been a struggle for me. I think I have finally started to get there. Yesterday that I was about 2 feet away from my H and the OW, I kept looking over at them and really felt no need to run or cry (as I had when I had first found out they were about to arrive). If this had happened 6 months ago I would not have handled it well. God gave me peace in my heart and kept whispering to me and telling me that this was all just "temporary" and will not last. I have finally let go of trying to change things myself and am allowing God to do His work. H and I never made eye contact (actually we did once, when he asked me if I was going to use the chair or not - but that doesn't count). I wanted to be able to say hello and see how he was doing but he needed to put on a show for the OW that he never talks to me. I cried when I finally got home and realized what had really happened. It's so hard and I know things will get harder 'cause the enemy is not going to give up so easily. God definitely brought us here for a reason and I am glad to be here. Lets keep praying for each other and we WILL see God's hand at work in each of our lives!!!

H98