java,
You wrote this in the weekly restoration post, and my experience shows very few people go back there after they posted and after Thursday. You asked some good questions that I hope you to answer by showing you my experience.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would just like to see some progress, some hopeful sign that my W would consider reconciliation instead of the divorce that she has filed.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For me, every time I have said, "God, get the divorce over with. I want to be happy again." He gives me a sign that says "You're going nowhere." Or like the other day, when she said she was going to date if she felt like it. When I turned on the radio, after talking to God, pleading for Him to heal my brokeness, the message was about divorce; "Shall we base our view of divorce or sexual standards or entertainment on what "everybody" thinks?" His message/sign to me.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If time means nothing to God, then why isn't today a great day for reconciliation? Sometimes it's frustrating that His timetable doesn't match my own.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's very difficult for me to NOT question God's timing in things. But then I remember a few things that center back on His Perfect Plan for me. A song called "God is God". "Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me." "God is God and I am not." He knows everything that will happen to me in my life; "He counted the hairs on my head before I wass even born."

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just a question I struggle with. Neither of us will be perfect here on earth. So we can't be waiting for perfection.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I ask, more like tell, God, I'm ready. Look how much You have changed me. I know what I need to do in my marriage to make it work this time. Then He shows me, "you think you have grown into the type of man you need to be to love your wife again." And, I fail a test. Today's test, I sent an email out to my colleagues with some info on an antivirus program we use. My boss came back with an email saying for me not to send out any more emails to our staff without her OK. I was very upset and a lot resentful feelings were in my heart. What if my wife had have made a disparging comment while we are reconciling and I had that anger in my heart. It would not be a safe place for her, emotionally. I would not have grown/changed in her eyes.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If I am the source of that tension, then I ask God and His Holy Spirit to show me what I'm doing to cause that tension. And more importantly, show me what to do instead of those act.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know my LB's have to stop. I have given my marraige over to Him, and that has relieved tension on me. I can't stop her from sinning; I can stop myself from reacting to her sin. Of the ten EN's, I find which ones I can fulfill right now without causing tension. I know that "Sex" and "Recreation" are OUT OF THE QUESTION. Where "Honesty", "Communication", "Financial Support" and "Domestic Support" are doable. I just make sure now thatmy DJ's and LB's are non existent around my wife.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know God is still working on me, and I have to believe He is trying to reach her.
I try to praise God for the lessons he is showing me. It would be nice if my W didn't try to avoid me all the time.
I just ask God that perhaps he could show me and provide her with the path to peace, so she is not so tense when she is around me.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have comfort in knowing that God wants ALL of His children to come back to Him. It's her choice, but, He will do and reveal Himself to her until she either believes or completely rejects Him.
I am far from an expert, having only given my up MY way to fix it, over the last few days. What I will say is I keep some pictures in my head of waht the marriage WILL look like in the future. Of course I picture the two of us in bed being very intimate; but more importantly, I envision us kneeling at the foot of our bed every night, praying together. This brings tears of joy to my eyes.
It's far from easy. But, I told Him, I can't do this; I'll work on my relationship with You and You work on restoring her heart to You.
My prayers are with you brother.
God bless,
ItsInHisHandsNow

I want you to know I have read these and am still rolling them around in my little pink balding head, LOL

May some of it will fall out into my heart.

Thanks,

Tony

Tony,
Yesterday, as I posted, was difficult with that issue with my boss. I want to share a little more.

With the anger and resentment in my heart, I opened myself to temptation. I had to work with some clients, and my eyes, and thoughts, wandered. That hasn't happened in a while. But I asked God to keep me pure of heart and Mind. I felt guilty though.

Today, on the way to work it hit me. Over the past few days, I have been getting smiles and looks from women, at work, in the store, etc. This IS a sign that God IS working on my marriage. Earlier in the week when I GAVE UP on working on the marriage, I GAVE IT over to God. He's the only one who can fix it. But, Satan is trying to seize the opportunity now and is telling me, "See, you know you will never fix your marriage. Your wife will never forgive. Look at these women before yuo who ARE interested in you. YOU deserve to be happy. Go on, your marriage is done anyway." Satan loves telling partial truths. I DO deserve to be happy, BUT by God's ways, not the world's.

God bless,
ItsInHIsHandsNow

ItsInHisHandsNow:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Tony,
Satan is trying to seize the opportunity now and is telling me, "See, you know you will never fix your marriage. Your wife will never forgive. Look at these women before yuo who ARE interested in you. YOU deserve to be happy. Go on, your marriage is done anyway." Satan loves telling partial truths. I DO deserve to be happy, BUT by God's ways, not the world's.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">IIHHN,

I shared on your other thread a similar thing happening to me........

I am now employing the "P-U-S-H" method........

Pray
Until
Something
Happens

Praying harder than I have for a loooong time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God Bless you, my dear brother.