Oh, MB friends,
I come to you with a sad heart tonite. I had to put my dog down last nite. Her name was Spuds and she was a 14yo mutt of questionable breeding. For those of you who don't know me, I am an animal lover, and I go to dog shows for fun, and in all those years, I never could figure out what kind of dog Spuds was. She was all white with a black eye and a black ear, and her hair was long enough to shed but short enough to not blow a coat like a collie would in spring. She had sort of a Lab-like head, but her facial features were too delicate--so maybe a Spaniel?? Her legs were delicate too, like a Setter--so maybe an English Setter? Oh, who knows!
We got Spuds when she was 9 mo. old and my D was 9 mo. old--so we unofficially had their birthdays on the same day. They literally grew up together. When my D was that diaper-toddler age, Spuds would go outside with her in the front yard and play with the kids. We called her Gramma even way back then, because she was so patient and liked kids so much. She would guard them and if they started to wander toward the road, she would stand in the way and bark her "you better get out here" bark. We lived on a rather secluded block, so when the occasional car would drive by she would stay on our property and run with them, barking as if to say, "I chased YOU away!"
Here in Colorado, we had a house that was near the train tracks, and twice a day the Amtrack would go by. Once again, she would bark at the trains until they went by as if to say, "HA, ha! I chased a train away!" In our neighborhood, she was the dog that all the kids could play with, pull her ears, grab her tail, and lay on. See loved the kids and they loved her.
In our next house, we had a bigger yard and more kids in the neighborhood--I think this was doggie heaven for Spuds. She would lay in the front yard and watch all the neighborhood kids ride bikes and play with each other. When everyone came in the backyard, she would join in the fun. She LOVED the swingset and would run alongside the swings and bark happily. YAY!
Our next house was rather rural, and we had a HUGE fenced backyard--half an acre at least. We had fruit trees and birds and squirrels and kids and SlipNSlides and it was great for her. She would be outside almost all day, and in case of rain or too much heat, she had a big doghouse built under the staircase. She loved that yard, and eventually the squirrels go to know her and would tease her mercilessly. They would go out into the middle of the phone wires and flick their tails and make that squirrely noise. She LOVED that because she'd chase them back and forth across the wire, barking her dainty little bark. That neighborhood had tons of other dogs, and she had quite a collection of friends.
We were living in that rural house when my exH had a
BIG, ENORMOUS A and left the state and everything to live with his OW. Yep, he left me and the kids with no job and no money, and abandoned our family business, and everything. Luckily the kids had our Spuds to be there for them. She usually spent the night with them, laying on their beds just hanging out. What a good, loyal dog.
After my exH realized that life with the OW and her four kids wasn't so peachy, and after the business was bankrupt and couldn't bankroll his A any longer, he moved back home and bought a house without telling me. He said he wanted to move to get away from the bad memories of the house, etc. Yeah, I wanted to save our M so I moved with him, and we moved into our last house. This house was a show house--I think more for his ego than anything. We couldn't really afford it, and it was based all on promises that we'd figure it out somehow and "didn't I trust him"? Anyway, Spuds was getting older by then, but she was still lively--just more mellow. We had a pool and another big yard, so Spuds played baseball with my kids and their teams...swam in the pool in the summer...and laid by the fireplace in the winter. We had a cat by then, whom she TOLERATED but who was way too selfish for her. We had long latenight walks and she sniffed everything and everyone!
We were living in our show home when my exH cheated yet again and decided that he would rather be free to pursue his cybersex than be a dedicated H and father. It was also in this show home that I learned what verbal abuse is, and that we were left for the last time--once again with no job, no money, and a huge mortgage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
So we were alone, and yet not alone. Our Spuds was with us and would sleep with the kids and sometimes we would all "camp out" in sleeping bags in the family room. Right before my exH left, he spent $400 and bought a purebred Maltese (Wolfie) and then split--so we had Spuds, Wolfie, and our cat. Spuds was really getting older by then, but she was like any older person. She still enjoyed being with us, and she enjoyed laying in the sunshine and watching the world go by. She tolerated the cat and actually kind of enjoyed the new puppy. He brought some years of playing and joy to her life, and like a true Gramma, she taught him how to behave.
Wolfie was my constant companion, but Spuds watched the kids and loved the kids. When we had to move from the show home and into our own townhouse, when the divorce was final, Spuds moved with us one last time. She was old and mostly laid around in the living room, but she enjoyed her walks in the park and she barked at the other dogs around. She was losing her sight and her hearing, but for a long time, I think she basically felt okay and just enjoyed being old.
Just recently, the kids and I started to notice a sharp decline, though. She was getting thinner and thinner, and would not eat unless we fed it to her. She had trouble getting up the stair to go outside. She was walking slower and slower and slower on her walks and didn't seem like she wanted to go out. I don't think she was in pain, but her quality of life seemed to be declining.
And then last night she had a seizure...or actually I think she had a stroke. Afterward her back legs wouldn't work and she seemed like she didn't know where she was. She bit her tongue and was sort of drooling--and what can I say? I knew it was time to let her go. God, it sucks! She was a very good dog, and we had her for her entire life, so I know she had a good doggie life. I didn't want her to suffer, so I took her to the vet's and put her to sleep. She went right to sleep, in my arms, and it was very peaceful for her, but obviously sad for me.
I'm bumming.
CJ
