My Brothers and Sisters,
I want to say, "Happy Good Friday". I don't feel I am being calous(sp) here. This is a joyous day. We were saved almost 2000 years ago because the Son of God, paid our sin debt in full. Praise Him today, and always for this gift that will never be equalled.

Pray for me that God will continue to put me through trials and break me, in flesh. This has been a bad week at work. Rumors on different sides (I won't go into the details, that's for me to lay at the foot of the cross). I will say that the outcome and explanation were disheartening. I have, slowly, come to the realization, and hope, that because this is The Father's Will, it is the path God has for me. He is breaking away all "things" I felt/thought I had control over. He is asking me to rely on Him for EVERYTHING. My surrender is nearing completion. Every trial is shaping me, is purifying the gold which God sees and knows is in me. I find great joy in this (as well as fear). But I am asking God to continue His work on me, whatever that is.

My Bible mentor once told me a friend of his used to tell him that he welcomed the trials. Now I understand.

Today the Mass and services for Good Friday moved me. The priest was talking about the new members who would be baptised during the Easter Mass. I pictured my wife being one of those, some day, in God's timing. When I went up to receive Communion, I was praying for that to happen for my wife and I. I asked God to draw her to Himself, to reveal His Son to her, "to draw her to the church." When I said that last one, sunlight from a window above the altar was shining in my face (it had been overcast before that).

Then tonight, at Tenebrae(sp), we had the "Veneration of the Cross". I took my kids up with me and after they kissed this life-size wooden cross. I then knelt at the foot of the cross, placed my hands on my heart, and laid my heart, with its sorrow, pain, trials, fear, love, joy, peace at His feet. Do with me what you will.

I pray that all of us will follow God's Will and even when we don't understand, we will accept and not fight it.

Please pray for me to keep this mind-set, the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit with me always. "Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil: and he will fly from you" (James 4:7).

God bless you. May you and your loved ones have a Joyous Easter.

ItsInHisHandsNow (where it belongs)
Genesius

Hey G--

I'm bringing this post back up to the top to remind you of something...or more accurately someone. THIS is the G- who is spiritually mature and on the right track. THIS is the G- who now understands that whilst the suffering hurts, it is done to us to make us more pure. Just as impure gold has to be COMPLETELY MELTED and entirely lose it's former shape, so we must be completely shattered and lose our former life. Just as impure gold is BURNED until it is melted and being in a fire that long hurts, so we must suffer until we are formless and suffering that long hurts. But the result is purity and beauty at the hand of a master craftsman.

G-, when I was married, I thought I knew who I was. I was a woman, wife, mother, successful business owner, respected community member, and synagogue member. I had to lose all of that for God to show me who HE wanted me to be. I am still a woman, but I'm not the woman I thought I was because I was looking at external beauty and comparing myself to OW. I am no longer a wife--that is lost. I am still a mother, but now I am able to TEACH my children in freedom and peace how to express anger appropriately, how to love well, how to have a mutual relationship, and how to be godly. I lost my business...just outright lost it. I wasn't a success anymore and none of the people I thought respected me didn't--they only were "friends" with me because of my business, money, power or connections. And my synagogue members did not know how to help me or be there for me during the divorce so they stopped calling and eventually just left my life.

Now I don't tell you about these losses for you to feel sad for me. OH NO!!! I tell you because you ARE going to lose some things that you thought you held dear. It's going to hurt--of this I can assure you. You will feel lost, stripped naked, and alone. You will feel the smallest portion of what our Lord felt. But graciously, like Job, God will give back to you what He meant for you to have all along!!

Brother, do not waste your thoughts on this "can Satan re-arrange stuff" nonsense! Think on these things. Thank God for what is hurting you. Thank God that your wife doesn't trust you. Thank God that she is brave enough to face leaving you just so you have the opportunity to grow!! Thank God that the crazy rumor mill is going and may harm your job, because GOD knows what He's doing!

((G))


CJ