I'm a newbie. There's probably a lot I could learn just reading info on the site, but I'm tired. Tired of so much!

I need prayer.

I guess I should give some history so you know how to pray. Sorry if this gets too long!

My H is a backslidder. He was that way when I met him. I was not a Christian at the time we met. To be brief we were both a mess. I ended up pregnant.

Gave myself to the Lord 1 wk. b4 my S was born. We lived together, b4 we M'd. I was afraid & didn't know how to trust God. But 0I finally said we get M'd or I leave. We got M'd. I did/do love him very much.

Things were good for a while, though I cont'd to pray for H to renew relationship w/ God. Like most we had some rocky roads. We had another S.

Then my H lost his job. 3 mo's later I became pregnant. Strangly enough, life actually got better. My H was out of a job 4 a yr. It was the greatest yr of our marriage. I'm a SAHM & my H insisted I stay 1. God took care of our every need. Wk after wk we saw miracle after miracle. My H even started going back to church & he was hearing God!

2 wks b4 my d was born my H got a job. YEAH! Or so I thought. 1st my H decided to keep his PT job on the weekends. 2nd the job he got meant he would be gone 10 - 12 days a month.

When I brought my d home from the hospital it was the first time I saw in my H eyes how much he loved me. I thought things could only get better.

Instead life has gotten worse than I thought it could. We never see my H. He comes home late, we eat dinner together 1 X a wk. It is in front of the TV, which my H insists on. 2 - 3 yr's ago he got mad at families who sat in front of the TV & ate.

He rarely comes to bed because he brings work home & will be doing it until 4 am & then falls asleep on the couch.

We haven't been on a date in 2 yrs. Intimacy...there is none. The house is falling apart because I can't do it all & he's not here. Plus there is no $. Our finances should be getting better because he works 2 jobs & they are only getting worse.

When I try to talk to him about my feelings - even in the calmest way, he gets upset & starts beating himself up or he gets sarcastic about what little time he has. So I decided to write him a letter.

I poured out my emotions, how much I love him, need him & desire to make this marriage successful. I told him my frustrations & hurts. He received it well. 4 mo's later & no change.

I'm so tired of trying. I have 3 kids. I feel like all we have is an arrangement. He works I take care of everything else. He never seems to be concerned w/ anything else. He thinks I am overreacting. He has to work or we don't survive. He has pulled backed from God again, or so it seems.

I feel like the only time he wants to touch me is when he needs to release some hormones.

I love this man w/ all my heart, but I just don't know if I can give anymore.

I know God can get me through this, but lately it's been hard to even hold on to God's hand. I know what the Bible says. I know God's promises. I just don't know....

Instead of telling him how you are hurting and what you want /need, try this:

Try the approach of putting yourself in his shoes. Tell him how concerned you are for him, that he is working too hard. Ask him what you can do to help lift some of the burden.

I know you are already doing what you can, but maybe he just needs to know you care?

msyche,

I know how hard it can be to turn to the Lord sometimes when you feel as though your heart is breaking, but God wants you to put it all on him. I have been very troubled with my M lately and have prayed constantly to God for help. It took me a while but I realized that I was praying for the wrong things. I got down on my hands and knees and surrendered it all into his hands. Although I don't trust my H right now, I trust God and I trust that through Him all will be well. It is hard to do!! It's hard to surrender but I have felt like a load was taken off me. It is no longer in my hands but in God's. Now with that I concentrate on being the wife that God commands me to be but without expectations from my H. I heard something really great and inspiring today. A woman on a radio show was talking at a womans retreat and she and her H were E Dv. After coming to the Lord things started to change for her. She said that she would pray to God saying "I don't expect my H to love me unconditionally but I expect you Lord to love me unconditionally through my H." It was really inspiring to hear. It's hard not to take things into our own hands but God has a plan for us and it will happen the way he wants in his time.

Here is a prayer I say everyday for my H:

O Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man who walks to direct his own steps” (Jeremiah 10:23). Therefore, Lord, I pray that You would direct my husband’s steps. Lead him in Your light, teach him Your ways, so he will walk in Your truth. I pray the he would have a deeper walk with You and an ever progressing hunger for Your Word. May Your presence be like a delicacy he never ceases to crave. Lead him on Your path and make him quick to confess when he strays from it. Reveal to him any hidden sin that would hinder him from walking rightly before You. May he experience deep repentance when he doesn’t live in obedience to Your laws. Create in him a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within him. Don’t cast him away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from him (Psalm 51:10, 11).

Lord, Your Word says that those who are in the flesh cannot please You (Romans 8:8). So I pray that You will enable (husband’s name) to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh and thereby keep himself “from the paths of the destroyer: (Psalm 17:4). As he walks in the Spirit, may he bear the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22, 23). Keep him on the Highway of Holiness so that the way he walks will be integrated into every part of his life. AMEN!

I will pray for you and your family!
God Bless!

Mom,

I pray this all the time too. Seems to work wonders! God bless!

Y