I am feeling so hurt and scared tonight. I need to talk to someone.

I had a few messages from my husband so I called him and told him how I feel.

I need him, but hes not here.

He said he was thinking to make it out on the weekend for one night. I guess he wasn't alone and when he said goodbye and I said I love you he just said "yeah".

I was sick when I hung up.

A few minutes later he text messaged me twice saying "I Love You!!!"


I keep wondering if things are worse than he is telling me. I am scared when I read about some of the others on this site.
But then he says he loves me, and I don't know what to think. Why can't he say it in front of her? If they are not emotionally attached as he says...

I will not go crazy.

I read my Bible and prayed every chance I got today, I need to hear from God.

All these months, this past two years, it feels like it has gone from bad to worse.

First I found out about the internet stuff, then about this woman who he is with now, then he moved away to get a job, then he moved to town , no job, didn't call for months, left us destitute, then I heard he was seeing several other women casual, then he told me he was still sleeping with this one, and now he is staying with her (temporarily he says until he can fix the van and afford a place of his own).


I try not to speak negative things, you know?

So I will speak positive here;

They will have a blowout and he will be done with her for good. He will get tired of the way he is living, and see that he has been sabotaging his own life.
He will give in to God, come back, we will start to be honest and communicate, we will sell the house, pay the bills, he will get a license, and God will provide him a good job.
We will work on the things that were missing before- emotional needs etc., and we will have a better relationship than before.

He is coming to the end of himself. The light is breaking through the darkness of his understanding.

The love I have for him is drawing him back to me.

God is at work in the circumstances of his life, bringing about such things as will cause him to despair of his present situation and seek God.


The other day he told me that they wanted him to do some work without a proper harness (he is a rigger) and he refused. He said he will not do anything dangerous or stupid.

I keep thinking, doesn't he see that this is what he is doing? He is living dangerously, without a harness, at terrible risk.

Father,

He is so safety conscious, God show him that he needs to use the same care with his life. That he is on a dangerous path that leads to death. Give him this insight by your spirit, a sense of being in danger where he is and what he is doing. That safety lies with you, on the path of rightiousness.

Amen