It has been awhile since I've posted here, and so much has happened. I still need advice and alot of prayer.

H is still home and seems alot more happier these days. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> , there is still not alot of communication, I don't know why, but I am still scared to confront it.

We've purchased a new boat, going to do the family stuff. Went camping last week, for the first time. It was alot of fun. I know this wouldn't have been purchased if he didn't plan on being with the family.

The greatest thing happened the morning we left. He had to go to work for a few hours and before he left, we were all in the living room, and he said he loved us, and then said to me "give me a kiss", not once but twice. After he left there were no tears of happiness, just me rolling around my bed thanking God. I couldn't quit thanking him. I thanked him that whole day! What I wanted for,for so long, I got. It was my miracle.

Now why the question mark?

There hasn't been anything since, no affection or kiss goobye, zilch! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I haven't asked, and I haven't tried to be the first to show the affection. After all I've been through, I am afraid maybe he regrets doing that. Do I ask, I am so afraid of pushing it.

Our anniversary is Wednesday,17 years! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I thought he mentioned just us going camping, now I am not for sure. I just seem so confused. I forgot to say that the other night he was on his way home and he called to say that he was thinking about me. I forgot to ask "good or bad?"

I know God is and will conmtinue to work on me it is just like I breathed that sigh of relief and he's wanting me to remember this isn't through yet.

I have to continue to let God guide me and try not to get in the way, I just want to be able to have the courage to get my husband to talk to me. I want to let him know how much I miss holding and touching him. Please pray that I can celebrate our anniversary showing him how much I appreciate and care for him.

I have seen so any prayers answered through this trial in our marriage and I now know that God is in control. I just need to be patient. I am sure the best is yet to come. I pray that everyone here receives the blessings I have, and receive that glimpse of hope of happiness to come. It was just like God is saying "This is just a taste of the happiness to come."