I had a very upsetting night last night. I went out with with a friend and when I came home H was chatting on ICQ. No big deal. So I came over to see who he was talking to and read a little bit and wanted to cry. He was talking to an old friend of his and he was telling her about what had been going on. The only part of the conversation I had read at that point was her saying that I was jealous and wanted all his attention for my self and that no one would tell her who she could be friends with (This was in response to him telling her that I said he could have all the friends he wanted as long as they were male). She said are you going to be living in separate houses soon. And H said that was probably what was going to happen! I was so angry, hurt, and sad. <BR>I just feel like I don't know what is going on anymore. One minute he tells me that things are getting better and the next minute he is telling someone else we might separate. <BR>So I told him if he wanted to leave then just tell me. I don't want to be holding him against his will. I told him that I love him and that I believe that if we both worked on our marriage I believe it could work. I told him how much I loved him. I don't know where things will go from here.<BR>All I know is I want to save my marriage, but I am having a hard time. I know it could be worse he could be gone. <BR>Just needed to vent a little<BR>Thanks<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>and if I shed a tear I won't cage it<BR>I won't fear love<BR>and if I feel a rage I won't deny it<BR>I won't fear love<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"<BR>Sarah Mclachlan<P>

Jadedheart - I'm so sorry. I know how much that must have hurt.<P>This rebuilding stuff could take a long time and an awful lot of communication. There are a lot of wounds to heal.<P>Hang in there. And come whenever you need to let it out.<P>Lori

Thanks so much for the post Lori.<BR>It is extremely hard. One step forward and four steps back. It is nice to have a place to be able to turn when things get hard. <BR>I am going to keep the faith that things will eventually work out.<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <A HREF="http://journeys.webprovider.com" TARGET=_blank>http://journeys.webprovider.com</A> <P>