Hi all... I'm fairly new here but thought I'd get your take on our situation here on this thread before going elsewhere.

FWS had and EA with a close (ex) friend of mine also his ex-co-worker (very breaf, as soon as it was realized, it ended... but what lead to it is just the same.....- you all know that....).... Well I do beleive he won't contact her anymore, and vice versa.... but the problem is we all go to the same church. My hubby has a been a member of our church since he was 10 yrs old (he's now 30) and doesn't want to go anywhere else, but still can not go to church, becasue more then a few peopel ahve found out what happened between him and the ow. OW and OWH (going through a divorce but still iving with eachother) both go to our church too. We all go very very regularly (well before this whole mess started). Right now I am helping with our church's VBS and she's been there too. Yesterday was the first day she showed up (I was told she wouldn't be able to help out), and I couldn't take it and picked up my kiddos and went home. She had the audasity to keep coming into the classroom I was in to talk to someone- she is either very very clueless or very very sadistic! Todl fwh about it all yesteray and he was sympathectic but wwe prayed about it, and just hoped that today would be better if she did show up. SHe did, and I did not leave. But dang she kept coming into my classroom (nursery) again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

if we are to try and follow MB concepts, we can't ever be in contact with her again... and she is clinically depressed and wacko, so I know she won't be going anywhere... and H and I have been at our church for sooo long and love our church family- I just don't want to switch letters, and nor does my husband.

Do you htink it is possible with time and prayer that we can all eventually attened our church and not have any kind of annomosity or pain associated with seeing the other? I told fwh that he simply can not see her or conatct her ever again... but that jsut isn't possible if we are still going to go to the same church.

OK I think I am rambling now, hopefully you all can make sense out of what I just wrote and can shed some insight..

My instincts say agree to find another church.

Doing His Will, your situation is so parallel to mine -- except we have the added wrinkle that my wife is the organist and the OM (he's almost 60, she's 36) is a lifelong member--in fact, I was chair and OM was secretary of our Pastor Nominating Committee in 2001-02 (this was before the affair started). At one point my wife had convinced herself the church would not take any action against an employee who had an adulterous relationship with another member; now she's planning to resign her job, go be with him, and let the church comfort me, our 2 kids (7 and 2), and I guess his wife (who really seems not to know anything) and 3 kids (youngest just turned 30). You're in my prayers; please pray for our first joint counseling session tomorrow (whoops, make that today) at 3:00 eastern time. Counselor is supposed to be one of the best in the state, and very direct -- pray he can help her see SOMETHING. If not, I'm going to have to move to Plan B and will need prayers for strength in that. Just know that God IS "a very present help in trouble," just like He says.
In His Name,
SurvivingInNC

Thanks Shul... I have that feeling too... but I think it is too soon to make that decision and fwh was pretty steadfast against it when I suggested us even visiting an other church in the meanwhile..... augh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Surviving, wow... our pastor knows what has happened and has made the ow remove herself from teaching sunday school and working in the nursery, and my fwh can not take on any leadership roles and has to take a leave of absence from his ushering duties, until (God-willing) everything is back in line to where they should be in our marriage and in the sight of God. You are definitely in my prayers today. Will this be your first session together? I wish my fwh would go to counceling... he's pretty adamant about not wanting to see a counselor- but we did just sign up to attend the Weekend to Remember (through FamilyLife) in a month....