Today is a blue day....actually most of them are that way. I spend time with God daily and I have hope for myself.
My marriage on the other hand is a sham. My sex addict husband refuses ic, is in denial, his moods vary, his anger is hard to deal with, my own emotions are taking a beating.
I am in ic, working with a SA counselor who is a Christian.
I cannot go on like this. I'd rather have the peace of being alone than living with someone who is addicted and won't get help. How do you feel peace when only one is working on the marriage? How do you feel any hope when 'everything' is my fault, when the only 'problem' in the marriage is me. Those are quotes from my H.
Please God, help me!

Angelia

{{{Angelia}}

He knows that it is not all your fault, but he can't admit it. It is self pity, blindness...

Ask him what you can do differently, and reassure him that you care about his needs.

You can only do your part to show him love by meeting his needs the best you can, and give your needs to God.


I am in the same boat. It is very hard.

But God is working. Listen for his still small voice, telling you how to respond.

He loves you very much Angelia. His love can't fail.

Shul, this is really a balance (and sometimes a thin line) of accepting what is, giving it to God, or utilizing tough love and still giving it to God.

I often wonder these days if I'm in God's way of dealing with my H.

See my H's needs are of course SF (I can do that 24/7) however...it's empty. Does that make sense? His needs are for me to cook, clean, maintain my self in an attractive manner, pay the bills, work, watch the kids, laundry, etc.

My needs are for honest, open communication and time spent with me.

I do all of those things for my husband and I get nothing in return. My H thinks if I'm in the same house with him that qualifies for time spent together. He thinks if he sits at the computer while I babble about my day, etc then he's communicating. Despite what the counselor has told him, even given us models and worksheets to utilize.

I know God's working. God might be working only on me though because my H has turned a deaf ear to God.

I hope that all makes sense. I know, I know, I know that God loves me, can't fail me, is always with me. Often, my dialogue with God daily is all that keeps me a float!

Happy 4th!!!!!! Jesus came to set the captives free.......that's the best freedom of all!

yes, you described my husband too.

I was trying to think if there was ever a time when he really did listen and talk- and it was when we first met.

Ok, what was diferent about me? I was busy with my life, had lots of friends and interests, I didn't much need him to listen or anything else. I was busy and he had to catch my attention.

I was interesting. Then we got married and my life got really boring. I was gung ho, but he showed no interest in any of the things that I was gung ho about- buying land, building a log house, gardening, raising chickens.

The trouble is that he is boring. He has no enthusiasm for anything, no imagination.

Hmmm.

Now ,hes gone- my life is interesting again, I am getting my mojo back, lol.

He should be back anytime now.

Shul