I am trying to step back and re-evaluate things.

My husband has moved to another town for work, which has gotten him away from the OW. It has been a couple of weeks, and I don't think he is calling her.

His van is still at her place, so they might have some contact over the next week or so when he finishes working on it and gets it out of there.

He has started calling me every few days. he text messaged me on the weekend, saying he loves me, and that no matter how hard he tries to act cold and angry, I thaw him out, and that it scares him so he acts like an idiot (his words).

He is coming around.

He said not long ago that he doesn't want to talk about heavy stuff, or have any discussions. I think he doesn't want to talk about things while there is still contact.


I suspect that his main agenda right now is to get his van, and burn his bridges with her.

From the way he sounds when he calls, he is feeling lonely, remorseful etc.

I don't want to discourage him- I would like to send him a text just saying hi, maybe even invite him over for supper at some point, but I think it would be better to wait until he is completely done with her.

I feel like I have to tread very carefully at this point.

I don't want to go back to the same old. I want us to start over fresh.

We have lived apart for 9 months now, and I have started a new life of sorts. I think this is a good chance for us to start slowly talking, building a friendship, but I am not sure how to work it.

It feels like I can set the pace now.

I guess I need prayer to handle this all in the best way.

I am so tired of walking on eggs in this relationship, having to be careful what I say to him, etc. It is very wearing.

Maybe I should just tell him that when he has sorted out the van and he is done with her, no contact, then we can go forward slowly.

I could send him an email...

What do you all think?

Shul

Hello shul, of course you know where i am at right now but from what i want to know about your situation and what you have said i just wanted to touch on a few things. so here goes,

you're exactly right, "he's coming around."

yes you probably do need to still tread very carefully and continue to make the bridge truly strong enough for him to cross the entire length no matter how slow it may take.

i think the idea of inviting him to dinner sounds like a good idea even though the van situation isn't settled yet. believer did have a good idea about getting in towed somewhere and like you said have taken somewhere where he can work on it. maybe just approach the subject of "how would you feel about... or what do you think about....?"

i wouldn't email him.

when you say you don't know how to work it or how you do something, you know you already have the answer. God will reveal it to you, that's the beauty of it, is that HE does know how. i know i need to listen to my own advice but maybe that's what i'm doing here is reminding you of this and at the same time telling myself this too.

continued prayers to you, God bless, RR

Thank you RR,

Its so hard to get perspective on things sometimes, and I don't always trust my instincts!

I appreciate your feedback very much.

You are right, God knows what we should do. I just have to take more time to listen to Him...

Well , he took time off from work and spent the past couple days with her getting his van running.

Only bothered to call me to get the phone number of the mechanic.

He said he would be out to see us tonight but is still with her as far as I know. He hasn't shown up yet.
Upsets me, since as far as he knows his daughter is going away for the rest of the summer and he won't be able to see her for awhile. ( As it turned out she isn't going yet but he doesn't know that.)

He hasn't seen his daughter for over a month.But he is with the OW and her kids.


Please pray for us tonight.

This is the right time for him to end it with her for good.