Please all of you, I know we are about 7 hours behind you in the USA, bbut I need your prayers for GODS intervention when we go and see the Psychologist today at 12 o'clock. Pray that GOD will use her as the tool to let my W see what her actions is doing to our family.
ALso pray for the healing of my W spirit.

GK

Gus,

How did it go?

Shul

Hi Shul

As you know, we always pray for miracle's but GOD has his own way of doing things.
Overall it went well in the sense that both me and my W will be able to sort out a lot of issues stemming from our childhood. The women psychologist is very bright and my W has a lot of faith in her were as she didn't like the first one at all.

What we did find out in the first session is that my W has issues relating to her dad abusing her mother when she was I child. This made her promise herself that she would never be as pathetic as her M. My dad on the other hand was a very strict person and we neverr talked back to him. As we grew older this relationship eventually changed from a Dad-son relationship to a friend-friend relationship. But the first relationship is the one that stuck into my head and this was the role I tried to play out between my W and me. This obviously clashed totally with her personality.

We will bothe go seperately to the psychologist on Monday for hypnosis and then will go together after that. At this stage there is no sign that my W wants to work on the M, but I think we both need to heal each other before trying to heal our M.

I had to leave just before 2 this morning to patrol our neighborhood as I'm part of our local neighborhood watch. I didn't tell her about it and got a call just before 6 asking me where I was. She sounded upset because I didn't tell her and when I asked her later why she was upset after telling me that she didn't care about me, she couldn't give me an answer.

I am also more relaxed with myself again because I'm getting better with being able to trust more and more in GOD's will. This is probably His way of healing both of us from our pasts. But, I'm still asking him to keep it as short as possible to minimize our hurt <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

But enough about me, how is it going with u?

( I see that we are about 7 hours in front of u guys in the States, so I just arrived at work 7 o'clock in the morning!)

GK

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 11:45 PM: Message edited by: Gustav Kamfer ]</small>

It sounds like she is getting to the root of things. I think that is very good, and esp that you are with her while she is going through this. I sense that she is scared and that she needs reassurance that you care for her and that you won't ever do anything to hurt her.

We need to be cherished, you know?

As for me, I am not sure. Things have been different lately. For almost a year he didn't call or come around much- he was avoiding us, but he is not working now and he is staying at our house, which is close by, so he has been coming around quite a bit. I have invited him over for supper several times, and it has gone well. No heavy talk or anything up til now.

Wheh he left a year ago , it was the result of years of bad decisions and irresponsible behavior on his part which had led to us being destitute. It wasn't about the ow, she ( and several others ) were just his way of trying to run away from facing his failure and to find someone who would make him feel good about himself.

For so long we were a house divided- he was not walking in obedience to God, and he has serious issues from his childhood that make it hard for him to trust .

It is all very complicated.

My feeling was that we needed to be apart anyway, that God was taking me out of harms way and that this would be a season for God to deal with him. That God couldn't deal with him effectively while we were living together.

In the past year he has pretty much done whatever he has wanted, he has his freedom now that he wanted for so long.

And I think he is starting to realise that it was an empty lonely life.

He couldn't see that he had all these blessings right in front of him- a woman who loved him, a child who adored him, a home, people who cared for him, a job, things to be proud of and care for.

I think he is waking up, and that he is terrified that it might be too late. That he might have lost all the good things in his life.

We can't go forward as a couple until he gets right with God. There is no point in being a house divided; but I think he is almost at that point.

I don't mind waiting. When he does get right with God it will have been worth the wait.

I know it is just a matter of time. I havbe sen glimpses of the kind of man he can be.

Hi Shul

I've changed my displayed name as you can see, it was to obvious.

The W found out last nite that she can't afford to move out at the moment. She is very depressed and see it as a 'victory' for me, as if this is a war or a game. My heart actually bleeds for her. I want her back, ot because she can't afford to move out, but because she wants to work the problem out with me.

I don't know if this is because I've prayed for the hedge of thorns around our marriage or not. I'm in two minds at the moment, don't really know what to do.

In the meantime the psychologist is slowly depleting all of my funds, and we both really need to see her.

My DS(4) is starting to be scarred by this. First wetting his bed, and now starting to become agressive, disobedient and starting to tell lies. Not so good is it?

She still fishes for compliments but a day later she tells me that she can't even stand me looking at her.

I'm gettiing tired and don't know how to deal with the emotional drain. Sometimes I feel that I should just give up and go on with my life. I also need to connect to my local church which I'm unable to do at the moment due to our problems. I'm about amonth behind with my work and the bosses patience with me is slowly starting to dwindle.

So, there you go.

But I still pary and I'm slowly but surely working my way back to GOD.

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Keep the faith alive
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GK

Father,

I lift up Gus and his wife and their child to you right now.

I know that you can bring healing to this relationship.

I ask that you will do a work in her heart- that you will give her a love for her child and for her husband, and that she will have a revelation of your love for her.

I pray for this child, that he will feel loved and secure.

Give Gus wisdom to know what to say and do to his wife, and strength to bear with her. Help him to do his job, and let his wife see the pressure he is under.

Let them call a truce and put aside their problems and needs for a time, to focus on loving their son.

Hi

Me and my W went away for 2 days to the coast. We had a great time and we started talking again. I think we understand each other more.

Back again and she starts to be all *****y with me again, and I think I know where some of the problem is. She has no family support and most of her friends is not the right friends for her at this stage of herr life. The one girl is a lesbian with problems of her own. She can't keep a partner and obvliously her life doesn't make sense. Her so called male 'friend' himself is unable to keep his own marriage together and now uses my wife as a friend to boost his own ego. Her 'best friend' at work gossips to me behind herr back and do not really support her. I've found out this weekend that my W is bulemic due to our M problems.

A good thing is that she hass indicated that she will move with me to a new city where I want to buy a business and start all over again. This oppurtinity I feel has been put onto my path by God for us to make use of.

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Keep the faith

GK

This sounds like a good plan.

A fresh start, the two of you.

Just love her.

Hi Shul

Had a good and bad day rolled into one yesterday.
I went through my W text messages yesterday, I don't know why, and she caught me doing it. She is highly upset about it, saying that she cant trust me and I dont want to trust her. Then she told me that she had decided that morning for us to go to MC, but now she has second thoughts.

I'm praying that she will calm down and see that we are both on an emotional roller costerr ride and we will do stupid stuff.


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Keep the faith alive


GK