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#347690 12/20/04 09:21 AM
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GWK Offline OP
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I was away for two weeks and my W used this chance to start the divorce proceedings. That same nite she phoned me at 12 and I had to talk to her because she felt lonely. So, here I was supporting her so that she felt better Divorcing me.
Last nite she said she felt nothing for me and wanted to proceed with the D. For those who don't know, I abuse my W by giving her a spanking like one would a child when she threatend to leave me. Now she's unable to forgive me because she saw her mother being abuse as a child. She doesn't know how to forgive anyone.

I asked her if she really thinks that God would want us to divorce and she said yes. She doesn't go to church and never reads her bible.She asked me if a woman should still stay with her H if he sexually abuses their children, trying to demonstrate to me that not all marriages can be saved.

I am starting a new business in another town about 1000 kilometers from here and has asked her to be my partner in business. She has agreed to this and I hope that being away from the friends she has here which I believe is a major bad influence will help to bring her closer to me. I know that I am going to suffer a lot by working with her and seeing her trying to build a new life without me. My friends tell me that I'm not right in my head and that I should move on with my life. I've also told her that I'll always be there for her if she needs me.

My problem now is to get the wisdom from the Holy Ghost in order to know what to pray for. I need strenght to survive through this. But: I also know that GOD has some plan with my W in order to bring her back to him and I don't know where I fit in. I know that God sometimes bring stuff over us so that we have no way to turn to but to him. Am I working against thiss by being a support for her and helping her where ever I can?

I have so many questions and I dont know where to get the answers. I know that he can change everything in a blink of an eye but he may have other plans for us both. How long do I keep hoping for our relationship to be re-built?

What I'm asking for is your prayers so that He will guide me and give some answers so that I know how to pray and for what to pray. PLease also pray so that my W can learn how to forgive so that she can also become whole again.


Help me to keep the faith!!!
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

GK

#347691 12/21/04 12:46 AM
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Perhaps the first memory of my daughter, now 5, then 2, is of Dad spanking Mom and yelling God d..mn it! Vivid memory.

I think your W is following God's will to remove herself from a man who does not cherish her. Go to counseling. Go to anger management. Learn how to treat her like Christ treats the church.

Cherished

#347692 12/21/04 07:18 AM
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Cherished,

I suspect you have missed some of GWK's other postings.

While there is absolutely no doubt that spanking his wife was a bad thing, I believe that was a symptom of the strain in their relationship, not the cause.

Based other things he has written, I suspect that GWK acted out of character in the heat of the moment. He has certainly given every indication of remorse for what he did - even admitting it openly on this site where he knew responses just like yours were possible (if not likely).

Sure, he (like many men, myself included) could probably use some counselling in anger management. Abuse of any type has no place in a marriage. Unfortunately, sometimes there are other types of abuse than physical - and the mind-games GWK's wife has been playing with him could probably be considered emotional abuse. He has indicated a willingness to forgive her. It is a shame that she is unwilling to forgive him (at least based on the very limited information available).

Don't get me wrong - it is possible that separating for a while is exactly what they need. That way, perhaps they can work on their own issues undistracted. Possibly in time they may reunite and build a stronger marriage.

Whatever happens, I pray that they are able to find and follow God's will for their marriage, instead of any selfish desires of their own. Only they, with prayer and reflection, will be able to hear what God is telling them to do. I hope that they will both listen.

God Bless,
Richard

#347693 12/23/04 08:51 AM
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Thanx Richard

Me and the W have been for counselling to make sure that we don't push the buttons that make us both react the way we did. The problem is that she says that she isn't angry with me anymore because of what I did, but that she can't get herself to forgive me. This is due to the fact that she told herself at the age of about 13 that she will never let anyone do that to her because she grew up in a house with an abusive father (he hit her mother, not her)

I have started the way back to GOD and I'm trying my best to be the man God meant me to be. However, she actually sometime mock me about this as she thinks I'm doing it to impress her, and this while she doesn't go to church or read her bible. I'm trying to get my children to pray every morning before going to school and to read to them from the Bible evry nite.

I have now prayed to God to take all my problems and my marriage into His hands and I will do whatever His will is.


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Keep the faith

GWK

#347694 01/03/05 11:18 PM
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Update:

We had a wonderful Christmas [censored] a family and my W actuallyy allowed me to touch her. From there everything became worse again. The Monday she actually went to see a truth sayer to help clear her mind, as she said it. We had a fight again on New Years Eve with her driving off again.

I moved out of the house last nite in order to save the little bit of friendship left between us. DS (4)was in tears when we told him that I'm moving out. DD (2) is thankfully too small to understand. I hope I did the right thing!
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Hebrews 11

1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good report. 3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.


Keep the faith alive


GWK
Me (38) W (29)
DS (4) DD (2)
Seperated since last nite

#347695 01/06/05 11:53 AM
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I'm sorry to hear how things are going right now. Who knows... perhaps this really is the best thing, since it will allow you and your W time to work things out and reflect on what has happened.

Your entire family are in my prayers.

Whatever else happens, don't give up on God. I don't know if you are in any way similar to me (I feel from your postings that we are), but if so then you will probably find that things get worse whenever you turn away from His will. That is a place where I think my W has found herself recently. Instead of seeing all the good that surrounds her, she has concentrated on the bad... which only leads to her feeling even worse.

God Bless,
Richard


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