I have really come a long way on my faith journey over the past couple of years. I have been more active at church and have made good Christian friends. I believed in God before, but I didn't really live the Christian life. I guess that's how my husband was too. The difference is I have really been furthering and deepening my faith. And my husband hasn't. And he left us (we have two young kids) about 7 months ago.
He says he lost that deep love. Actually he says it may never had been there. He says we have grown apart, two different lifestyles. One of his biggest examples of this is that I am much further along on my faith walk, and he doesn't even want to start.
We had many good things in our relationship. In fact until he left and I re-evaluated us, I thought we had a really good marriage. Our friends thought we were "perfect". But he kept so many of his true feelings inside, and he always tried to do what's right. Now he is gone, but we still care about each other very much, he thinks I am a wonderful mom and I was a good wife, and a beautiful woman (inside and out). So it makes him more confused as to why he felt he had to leave. (for the record, there's no OW). But he still can't decide if he wants to try to work us out.
Sorry for the length, but my prayer request is this. For me...now I question us, our past, our love. I start to wonder if we should bother. Please pray for me to be strong in my faith, to see things clearly, and to keep asking God for guidance.
For my husband...that he opens his heart to God. Our story is much more complex than what I wrote, but I really feel that if God enters his heart, things with us will start to get fixed. And he is a lost soul, looking for the meaning of life, when so much of his issues could be solved by faith in God.
Thank you so much for your prayers. The last time lots of people prayed for him, he had a moment of clarity, where he called his Christian friends to talk. Where he realized for the first time how badly he had hurt me and he apologized to me and my family for what he had put us through. But I don't think it stuck.
I truly appreciate your prayers.
-Cin
