Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
Every Wed. we pray and fast for one another for resolution to our marriages and our lives. Every Wed. we can check in and let our fellow prayer warriors know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matt 18:20.

I will be entering the prayer post on Sundays so everyone has an opportunity to check in and to add their own personal prayer request if they want to/need to. Then on Wed. we can check in, hit the "Post Reply" button, and enter "Amen".

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us. If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.


Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: -.{200 Prayer Warriors and counting}
cajunky . Ezra . Willgetthruthis . Godisincontrol . Natasha79 . JohnC . NMWBTWBD (Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done) . Wallace . relady . steadfast and committed . morriggs . lupolady . stillwaiting . Broken Hearted . PasDeDeux . hopeful_person . GinnyF . justpeachy . cry2much . SNL . LostAgain (Dave&April) . Dodger (Rtron) . gloriachu . LoveNcare . JMF . WEN . NiteHawk . Absurd . LetSTry . AgainsttheWind . cemmerson . getting better . kellidiane . Terrified . BeeLee . idostylin . Resilient . thiscantbehappening . day by day . Jloves . broken x3 . Sue with Hope . sunrise1 . shepette . Malc . Faithfulwife . timbo-e . Angelia . FeelingAllAlone . broken_joe .

dopey . awake . trulyafriend . Is it to late? . stilltryingtosaveit . landslide . GODBLESSU . vega . LoyalWarrior . janna-m-r . ferbie . EpiphOny . Simmy . cajeanie . d_rose . lost_lonely . briank4775 . mayflower . Caged_Bird . LunaDove . goldilocks109 . darwud . Mrs. Darwud . Zuzus_Petals . adamv . Army Hubby . Gail (mojodiva) & Shane . bonnie five & H . TryingToKeepHope . Hopeful98 . Ighoping . SoTired (Mike & Trish) . evega . Douglas and Kirsi Nielson . Jessicafl27 . kimmy2 . auntielala . weezy8550 . miserynmissouri .STBXWife . sealfan . Jen Brown . SMIAJ . Cinderella . GreggC . trying_to_accept . solon . serenitydipity . ilia . lonelyjrock .

anchorhugger . Prayer & Patience . Chikar . Alex6 . Hopeforamiracle . fishlady . rookie . Made A Mess of Things . *DeepSigh* . l/m . new comittment . deeplyhurting . jeff15679 . Bob Castaldi . k57mo . skottyjay (Scott & Melody) . TROD (Tony and Julie) . thisso . ladysheep . hurtmorethanheknows . singleguy . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage . Keesley . recovering_dad . Terrianna . javaContour . BH . Cheryls . cherry log . AD. . Suebee . REJECTED . LoveMyEx . LostHusband . kings kid . kwhittle . vividwhisper . imready2try . staeryn . JoeCM . mike729 . Ridingtherollercoaster . DREslinger . ecpsap . Mr.Miew . StandingTogether . Alcoholic's Wife . gentle . Stung by a Bee . maximus1 . Blended family girl . Diamonzzz . sctaylor . RichardF . bygraceamfree . butterflie . FinallyLearning . angielt . luke parrish . sadmama . Timeheals . OuchThisHurts . mojo95 . Cherylpa . nvrgvup . Titleist . auto009988 . Hope92 . JLight . Culprit007 and hubby . ddc03 . new_beginning . Waiting On My Change . allmyloveforever . jamesp . wontgiveupyet . gzangel . wahoodee . sad and tired . ruffled . Shul . Learning Lots . prayingforchange . ChangingMan . rosj . txsunnyblueskies . roughroad . sprezzatura . SurvivingInNC . angels9 . Deja Vu . tanelornpete . cuteIShot . GWK . Mschluter . nvrnding . Silent Cries . adgirl48 . nomoregames . antonpickels . ecxpa .

Prayers Answered/God's Gifts to Us:

Shul (H wants to work things out. PTL!) . Lupolady (has RECONCILED with H!! Doing better and better each day. PTL!) . Richard F (able to spend the day of 1st d-day anniv w/wife) . GWK (went away for the weekend w/ wife, she has agreed on MC) . Hopeful98 (H went to church and was able to smile and say hello to him) . Shul (H wants to turn back to God) . RichardF (expecting a little blessing from God - baby!) . Shul (had opportunity to show love and friendship to H) . Lupolady (H continues to make contact each week) . StandingTogether (H has agreed to read The Five Love Languages together) . Titleist (W moved back home) . hopeful98 (H went to church again) . LunaDove (God kept her out of trouble) . hopeful98 (H commented to MIL's H that he was not interested in checking the D status - doesn't care about it anyways) . LunaDove (received a pay raise and is getting a good tax return - God is taking care of her and son) . Hopeful_person (remarried her H in Jan. PTL!) . ItsInHisHandsNow (had a 3 hr conversation with wife) . LunaDove (God answered her question) . hopeful98 (H went to church) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (made a promise to God to give me a headache when I am not living His Word ? boy does my head hurt ;-) . lupolady ( was a Witness and Testimony to her faith to a woman in the vet?s office) . Steadfastandcommitted (W told OM she would soon be leaving her job, he replied that he guesses he?ll have to start dating) . RichardF (W and him went to a 'marriage weekend' together and have started communicating again) . TTSMM (stood by D in church when she did her first reading ever during her "First Penance" ceremony) . Standing_For_M (H is talking about MC; H is spending nights at the house; received $$ to payoff outstanding bills and bank the remainder) . adamv (talked and prayed the prayer of salvation with his 8yr old son) . finallylearning (has broken ties with the OM) . Steadfast and Committed (MIL left the hospital; his dog was found by the Humane Society) . Standing_For_M (H stayed over for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; rec'd Christmas gifts for her and her kids and food/groceries from her mom and her job; had great talk with H on phone; H said he told a co-worker a story about when they first dated) . lupolady (broken arm is healed; bought herself a new car) . staeryn (H moving back temporarily to help with their new baby) . sadmama (H is ending A and coming home; her D's pray for the Prayer Warriors) . hopeful98 (R&R in Mexico) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (at Mass, a child was being baptized and my D said, "Look Daddy, another member has just joined God's family; D is doing a reading at her "First Sacrament of Reconciliation" service this Saturday) . Standing_For_M (her & H attended S' holiday concert and had a good time) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (kids were playing very loudly while W was baking and she didn't lose it, she let them have fun) . hopeful98 (had a nice conversation with her H) . Standing_for_M (had a five hour talk with H, some flirting with him as well) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (in my D's public school, they discussed things pertaining to the winter season, she said "God's Birthday") . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (I struck up a conversation with a former Catholic-Christian and shared my life, experiences and "The Purpose Driven Life" with him. first time I ever shared my faith with a stranger) . Blended faily girl (found a job within a Christian environment and received a raise) . Blended faily girl (the Lord placed a strong Christian woman in her life for a "Purpose") . Blended faily girl (four hour Bible study with sister on phone) . Standing_for_M (her H stayed the night, on the sofa, after visiting her and the children) . tryingTOsaveMYmarriage (a wonderful Thanksgiving with my wife and children - no fighting or talk of divorce) . Standing_for_M (her H's heart is softening by his actions towards her and their children) . LoveNcare (her son returns to his wife after 14 months) . lupolady (hard cast taken off her arm) . kings kid (good news about her biopsy) . Terrianna (daughter not moving away) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife is back and we are planning to renew our wedding vows in our church) . tryingTOsaveMYmarraige (D is interested in the Christian music I am listening to and asks a lot about God) . hopeful_person (H seemed more willing to consider a reconciliation) . GreggC (wife's heart is softening a bit and son asking about things in the Bible and believes in it) . WGTT (WH coming home) . d_rose (got a ways to go but we are going there together.) . Faithfulwife (GOT A JOB, Found a house, D is final and got a puppy that ?just LOVES me?) . tsc (marriage being restored) . janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS) . Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man) . Stillwaiting (Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened) . Stillwaiting (neice is o.k.) . cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me) . Free (Marriage Restoration begun ) . Againstthewind (Got job) . betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery) . WGTT (accepted into mentor program) . Movingonwithlife (Wife coming home) . cry2much(sucessful surgery) . Steadfastandcommitted (first string again) . Lupolady (air conditioner) .

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
The Power of a Praying Wife

Chapter 5 - His Affection

Tom and Patti had been married a number of years before she actually had a serious talk with him about his lack of affection. Tom was a wonderful husband in every other way and their sexual relationship was good, but apart from the sexual act there was no affection. It wasn't because Tom didn't love Patti - he adored her. It was because affection was something he grew up without as a child. Patti felt guilty about the way she was feeling and didn't want to criticize or hurt Tom, but she had not known affection as a child, either, and that's why she needed it so in her marriage. Each time Patti confronted Tom about his problem he would try to change, but soon things were back to the way they had been. This led to great frustration and hurt in both of them. Eventually Patti became hopeless and felt like she was dying inside. She didn't see how she could live the rest of her life without affection, but she saw no hope of Tom's ever being any different.

Finally, Patti's misery forced her to take the problems to her prayer partners. They diligently covered it in prayer every week and as they prayed, God worked on Patti. He spoke to her about obeying Him in the area of eating right and getting proper exercise 0 an area where she had always been in rebellion. When she totally submitted to God regarding this and started doing the things He had been telling her to do, she began to feel better about herself and realized that she deserved to be treated affectionately by her husband. She didn't have to feel guilty about wanting affection because the Lord wanted that for her, too. Soon she felt the leading of God to confront Tom about it again. This time it would be different because she was now led by the Holy Spirit, and she and her prayer partners had been praying for a miraculous transformation in Tom.

"It took courage for me to even speak of this again," she told me. "I was afraid it could lead to divorce because we were both so hurt and saw no hope in each other. But God gave me the ability to speak in love the words that needed to be said, and this time the conversation brought immediate breakthrough."

"The turning point came," Tom recalled, "when Patti said to me, 'Honey, how can someone as wonderful as you, with all your attributes, someone I love and trust so much, not be able to be affectionate?'"

"Because I said words that affirmed him," Patti explained further, "it gave him hope that it was worth trying again."

Tom proceeded differently this time. He took the problem to his own prayer group of men, who instantly rallied around him. They decided not only to support him daily in prayer, but also to keep him accountable to show some form of affection to Patti each day.

"This was something I welcomed, because I wanted to change," Tom said. "I love Patti and hated that I was hurting her. I wanted to be different and I knew that true transformation can only happen by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Every day for a number of weeks, one of the men from the group called Tom and said, "What have you done to show affection to Patti today?" They also suggested ways to show affection and affirm her. They told Tom to check in regularly with Patty and say, "How am I doing?" For someone whose heart had not been prepared by the Holy Spirit, this could have been extremely annoying. But because Tom welcomed the Lord's working in him, it brought no burden.

"Now the first thing he does when he comes home is give me a hug and a kiss," Patti said with a radiant smile. "I felt like a new person after five hugs."

Tom and Patti's situation is not a rare one. Many people, even godly men and women, live in marriages that are dead because there is no affection. And women endure it because their husbands are good in other ways, or they don't feel worthy enough to ask for affection. But, this is not the way God designed the marital relationship. "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3). There is "a time to embrace," the Bible says (Ecclesiastes 3:5). When you're married, it's definitely the time. Affection isn't at the top of a man's priority list because men often see sex and affection as being the same. A woman's greatest need is for affection. If you are in a marriage that lacks it, pray for the Holy Spirit's transformation.

PRAYER

Lord, I pray for open physical affection between my husband and me. Enable each of us to lay aside self-consciousness or apathy and be effusive in our display of love. Help us to demonstrate how much we care for and value each other. Remind us throughout each day to affectionately touch one another in some way. Help us to not be cold, undemonstrative, uninterested, or remote. Enable us to be warm, tender, compassionate, loving and adoring. Break through any hardheadedness on our part that refuses to change and grove. If one of us is less affectionate to the other's detriment, bring us into balance.

Where any lack of affection has planted a negative view of marriage in our children, or taught them an incorrect way of relating to a marriage partner, help us to model the right way so that they can observe it. Show us how to openly confess our errors to them and demonstrate our commitment to live differently.

Change our habits of indifferences or busyness. May we not so take each other for granted that we don't make the effort to reach out and touch one another with affection. Help us not to weaken the marriage through neglect of this vital means of communication. I pray that we always "greet one another with at kiss of love" (1 Peter 5:14). I know that only the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can make changes that last. I trust You to transform us and make us the husband and wife You called us to be.

AMEN!!

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
sorry, double post

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: hopeful98 ]</small>

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 510
Amen. Praying for you all today.

I think my days on MB are coming to an end. My marriage has not been restored but I know God is working somehow. I've had too much happen in my life recently that my feelings toward several things have changed. I'm moving on in life, just leaving my marriage in the Lord's hands. I think I've finally accepted the fact that my husband could never come back to me, but all that matters is that he comes back to the Lord. I am not sayiing good-bye, cause I'm sure I'll be lurking and perhaps replying once in a while. But, I am looking for someone to take over the Wednesday Restoration post. If anyone is interested, PLEASE let me know. Either post on here or email me (my address is on my signature line). I'd appreciate it. God bless you all!!

Love,
H98


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5