thanks for the wonderful advice on Is it Real...tonight I need your thoughts on how to get my needs met. My husband is trying to be more affectionate to me since this is my #1 need. However, once he knows something is really working he seems to back off..like I don't really deserve it. Since I have been in CA with him this summer, he has taken to tucking me in in the morning when he leaves for work. I told him how much I enjoyed it and how loved it made me feel and he stopped doing it. I asked him his reasoning and he said that it just hurt too much because before I had the A he had done it at times and it had not prevented me from straying. Once I addressed it, he started doing it again. Now for the last couple of weeks he has stopped telling me he loves me. I really need the reassurance that he is not being affectionate out of obligation and I have told him how sad it makes me that he has stopped telling me but all he says is it makes him sad too. Sometimes I am so frustrated that I want to confront this action and tell him he is not taking my needs into consideration, only his own, and then I remember the LB and figure it is not a good idea. We have only brushed the surface of the basic concepts and I am more into it than he is... how should I proceed?? Sometimes, I just feel so guilty and then am just so relieved that he is still here and working on our marriage that I figure it is better not to push it. What say you???