Let me just start by saying I'm a newbie here, and I found out about my W's short affair almost 7 months ago...<P>Anyway, I am trying to come up with more creative ways to show affection, and concocted this scheme for our Anniversary. It takes some forethought and a little planning, but I thought the results were worth it.<P>I set up about 3 weeks in advance for my wife to free up her schedule the day of our Anniversary--my Dad picked up our kids early that day, right after I left for work. I left a card for my wife with a giftcard for a trip to the spa--massage, mannicure, pedicure, etc. What she DIDN'T know was that I had arranged w/ the folks at the Spa to give her another gift card when she got ready to leave, for Bath and Body Works at the mall. This took some planning as well, and when she got to B&BW, the whole staff was waiting to wait on her, as they knew in advnce what I had done. After her little shopping spree, the folks at B&BW gave her a gift card to the local Bookshop/Coffeehouse, where she could go buy a book or magazine, or even a candle, and sit around and drink coffee for a while. Finally, after she was finished there, the folks at the Bookshop gave her a final card--handwritten--asking her to meet me at a really nice restaurant for drinks and supper. It worked out just right so I could meet her there right when I got off of work.

WOW,<BR>Can I give you my husbands email so you can send him some subtle hints on romantic things to do for your wife?<BR>You sure don't sound like a betrayed spouse!!<BR>I'm going to have a tough time coming up with ideas since I really don't think my H deserves any special treatment right now (only 3wks from D-Day)<BR>Hopefully I'll get to this stage soon.<BR>

Zebco - this is awsome!!

Hey Zebco<P>You're really romantic. Why would your wife want to cheat on such a sweet guy? Well, maybe you weren't always so sweet! (just kidding)<P>Wish you could talk to my husband about those things. I dream about being surprised by him, but I never get those kinds of things. He does little things, you know, but sometimes I gotta hint it, and I hate doing that. I think if he loves me, he should automatically think of ways to make me squeal (and not just in bed either!)<P>Send him an anonymous e-mail suggesting stuff like this, at impexil@megatropic.com. I hope you do. By the way, he is a certified SCUBA dive instructor.<P>So much for water people! Keep up the romantic spirit!<BR><P>------------------<BR>CPL

Thankyou for the ideas. They are brilliant. I love doing romantic things, but I'm not to good at dreaming them up, and the one's I do cost a fortune. Thanks again

Zebco:<P>My husband disclosed a few weeks ago...March 6th that he had an affair and it was over. What you've done with the surprise date was awesome....you have definitely put some points in your wife's Lovebank!!! Don't stop doing that because she truly enjoyed you doing all the thought process. <BR>For 17 years of marriage I mainly did all the thought processes in our marriage and I have to say since my husband confessed he is trying his best to WIN me over again. He even planned a small getaway for us a couple weeks back and totally surprised me. He took care of everything! That really makes a woman feel good! Hope you're healing from your wife's affair.......and don't change a thing you're doing....there's not too many guys out there like that!!<P>Shocker17

Zeb,<P>I'm doing something similar on Friday. I'm the BS, D-day was just over 3 weeks ago. I've arrainged to have both kids gone. I'm going to grill some chicken shish-kababs, chill some wine, rent a couple of movies, have a hot bubble bath w/ candles and line the bedroom w/ candles. I'm doing all this on my own and she will be suprised by it when she gets home from work on Friday. I'm going to cook the whole meal and everything.<P>Just my $.02<P>scarlet pumpernickle

This is all only good if the other person wants the "gift" that we're all giving... I did something very similar. My wife was working one evening, and while she was out, I went to the store and bought candles, strawberrires, chocolate to dip the strawberries in, flowers, and her favorite wine. I had the whole scene set-up for when she got home. The folwers were in a vase in the kitchen with one of the candles and a note that said, there more waiting in the bedroom. I had 2 dozen tea lights lit. Chocolate dipped strawberries, wine on ice... She walked into the bedroom, and said "Whats all this for then?".... Talk about ruining the mood... My advice is somehow, someway, find out what the other person thinks would be nice and then do it, but maybe with a flair. Its not enough to do something, but if you're doing what YOU think would be a nice surprise, it doesn't necessarily mean it wil be for both of you...

I would highly recommend to you the book 1001 Way to be Romantic by Godek. Godek is not a Christian author and you might find some of his ideas slightly off base, but he does make the creative juices start to flow. You might consider reading the book together with your H or W.

raynmanaf, the situation you describe certainly can not be a once time event... that kind of situation would have to come as part of a life time of romantic gestures. While you did go to a great deal of trouble to set up your senario, it did have "I WANT TO HAVE SEX" written all over it. In the right context, that would be great, but not if your W is not well prepared for it and also in the same mindset.