THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS TODAY!!! My husband went to the counseling session with me today! He tried to get out of going about 1:00 PM by telling me how much "work" he had to do around here, he had to go get a battery for his truck, had to go get hay, etc. Well, I took care of the battery for him, told him he could get hay after our counseling session, and that I really wanted him to go with me to help me get over things. He griped about it all the way there, but at least he went. I had been praying and praying about this all day. When he tried to back out of going I knew it was Satan attacking him and me again. <P>Our session was pretty long (about 2 hours). I did most of the talking (of course - he's not much of a talker). The pastor was very kind to my husband and told him up front he was not there to tell H or me what we did wrong or to make us feel guilty, but to help us find a way to make our marriage work, for a lifetime. He told H that only God can truly heal a marriage and a broken heart, and it was up to us to let God handle this. We both have to ask God to heal our hearts and marriage. <P>The pastor didn't talk much about God's role in this and our lives today, I think this was because I had talked to the pastor before about H, our problems, and how my H was not saved and doesn't want me "preaching" at him. By the end of the session, my H was starting to relax and talk a little bit. He was very uptight throughout the session, and didn't say much except that he told the pastor that he did love me and he wants to work our marriage out. <P>The pastor had us spend a few minutes alone to talk about forgiveness. My H had told the pastor when we started to discuss his affair, that he wanted us to leave the past in the past and forget it. The pastor told us that in order to forgive someone, it means to wipe the slate clean and dwell on the sin no more. After we had our time alone to talk we had to tell him whether or not we were both ready to forgive each other. My H told me he didn't think I was ready to forgive him yet. Before today I had thought I had forgiven H for what he'd done, but according to the pastor, I really hadn't. I apologized to H for not trusting him and asked for his forgiveness. He said that he was sorry for what he had done and asked me to forgive him, I said I would. <P>The Pastor talked to H about why he drank so much, H just said he enjoys it. He asked H if he drank so much because of me, H said not really. Now, my H has adamantly told me over and over he wouldn't have to drink so much if I wasn't such a b***h. I guess my H has always just used me as an excuse to drink all the time. <P>We have an assignment for the next two weeks, at least 5 times per week we have to sit together alone, hold hands or be touching each other and talk to each other about how we feel. That is easy for me, but will be VERY difficult for H. He has always been uncommunicative and cold hearted. The pastor told him he has to work on this. <P>He told us that what my H did had truly hurt me very deeply and would take a long time to heal. He explained to H that it was like a severe wound in your arm that you keep opening back up and its not allowed to heal. By H continuing to drink and the way he talks to me when he drinks, he is keeping my deep wound from healing. He said that H has to help my wound heal, and it may not be fast. He also told me that what H did was not my fault, and in no way was I responsible for his affair, that most people have affairs because of something that is lacking in their own heart and life, not because of what the spouse did or didn't do. He told H that his happiness and contentment can't come from someone else, ie, another woman, but from God. <P>At the close of our session, pastor had us hold hands, and he held our hands and prayed for our marriage and asked God to heal it and us. I have been through almost a year of therapy with a psychologist, and never felt as good or that it helped as much as one session together with the pastor. The pastor told H and I that God brought us together, God wants us to be together, and God wants to heal our marriage. I hope H remembers this statement. I know I will, because I prayed so much about whether our not our marriage was meant to be, and in the last few days have prayed that the Lord give the words he wants us to hear to the Pastor to say. We have been through some horrible times, our problems have seemed so unbearable and overwhelming that it appears there is no hope for our marriage, but I believe that God wants us to stay married. <BR>I have to keep faith and keep trying. <P>So, there is hope. I know that Satan is going to attack us severely because he is not going to want to give up H to God. There is going to be a lot of spiritual warfare here and I have to pray even harder. Its time for me to start praying and fasting. I have a war to fight! Praise the Lord!<P>Here's my prayer for tonight: Thank you Lord for speaking to my husband's heart and bringing him to couseling today. Thank you for clearly telling me that You want our marriage to survive. Lord, give us strength and wisdom to make the right choices, and show both of us clearly what we must do. I pray that You will forgive us for all that we have done to hurt each other, and give us each a forgiving heart towards the other. Please continue to speak to my husband's heart and call his name. And Lord, I thank you for all you have done for the others on this Forum and ask that you comfort them and show their husbands the way they should live their lives. Help each of us to win our spiritual battles and give us victory over the evil one. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. <P><BR>

AW,<P>I got up early this moring hoping that you would of posted about your counseling session. I looked for it last night but knew it would be a busy day for you.<P>I am so thankful that things went well. I had a very positive attitude toward it and somehow knew that it would go well.<P>I expected your H would try and get out of it the last minute and prayed against that as well.<P>It sounds like your Pastor is a very wise man. I'm sure your H felt he was under judgement and it is very important that your Pastor did not communicate that. It sounds like he wanted your H to see God's mercy and grace to forgive and heal.<P>You will continue to be in my prayers as you go forward in your recovery. Enjoy the quiet and peace at this moment and may you find strength and wisdom to be to your husband the exact kind of wife God wants you to be.<P>God Bless, Love Taj

AW,<BR>I prayed yesterday afternoon and I'm so glad that your h. did go. It does sound like the pastor handled the 'blame' issue very well, which is good, since he didn't give your h. ammunition to get out of going back.<P>I'll keep praying for you, for strength and guidance.<P>blessings, <BR>liz\Pearl<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Thanks for your response ladies. I'm still in awe that God was able to persuade H to go to counseling with me. Now God's challenge is to keep him going. I hope that I can continue Plan A and positive prayer. I know I have to prepare myself for his next drinking binge, because he will attack me verbally for what we discussed with the pastor and try to get out of going. Have to remember to Pray Pray Pray, and to Shut Up and Pray. Love, AW

Aw--Glad things went so well for you. Wish I could get my H to counciling too. I am also grateful you can share your session with us. It just might be helpful to some of us. I appreciate the knowledge. Will continue to pray for you both & hope the drinking will hold off. I have never had to experience that & just don't know how I could handle that. Pray, pray, pray is right! Blessings, J

Great AW!!! Lord may the blinders be taken off AW's H and his spiritual eyes and ears be opened to those words of wisdom and truth as the pastor gave to him.... May the words of truth continually be recollected in his mind and cause a clearity that will allow him to be set free, for Lord we lean of this promise that the truth will set us free indeed... Also dear Lord let the word draw this child to your everlasting love where he can find what will truely fill the void that he had been trying to fill by these various things that are only temporal... Let AW have "Your" love and strength as she becomes the quiet gentle spirit that will help lead her H to the foot of your cross... AMEN...<P>Im so happy for you AW, cozy