This may be another difficult chapter for most of us. Integrity and Reputation seem to go hand in hand.<P>It appears that Stormie hasn't dealt with the issues we are but she does have some encouragement for us.<P>Pg 22....If he is not sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, he may still choose to go his own way and get into trouble. If something like that happens or has already happened to tarnsih his reputation, pray for God to redeem the situation and bring good out of it. HE CAN DO THAT,TOO!<P>Some of our h's may of successfully covered their tracks so alot of people do not know about their actions. Thus....their reputation may still be intact.<P>Others may of faced the music and been confronted by church, family etc. Crash goes the reputation.<P>I believe God wants sin in the open! So in light of that He realizes that a man's reputation will be tarnished in this life. He can also restore it.<P>If confession is God's way then I believe restoration of reputation is also His way, and though it may take time I believe it is His will for our husbands.<P>God, I ask that you might restore my husbands reputation, not only in the eyes of the world but in his own eyes as well. Give him the confidence to begin to rebuild the way others look at him. Lord, free him from being seen as an adulterer by anyone who has not accepted his confession. In each situation represented by the husbands on this forum work a miracle of restoration of reputation. IJN

Lord, please help our husbands see themselves as you see them. If they see that you are calling them to live differently, please give them hope that they can begin to live holy lives with you help.<P>Lord, where I have harmed my husbands reputation by sharing our struggles, please give people your heart toward him and let them extend grace and forgiveness. <BR>Please restore his good name and his desire to live a righteous life.<P>Amen.<P>liz<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

I don't think my husband cares about his reputation. He is the kind of man who really doesn't care what others think of him, he will do what he wants anyway. I will be taking Stormie's advice here and pray for his reputation, and for the Holy Spirit to lead him. I truly believe that the Holy Spirit speaks to him, even though my husband is not a Christian. He believes there is a God, and that God is good, but does not believe he has to live as Christian, love and follow Jesus, or pray. <P>Stormie's prayer was inspiring. Her words "Your Word says that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire (Matthew 7:18, 19). I pray that my H will bear good fruit out of the goodness that is within him, and that he will be known by the good that he does." meant a lot to me. Even though our husbands have done some very bad things, there is still good within them. <P>Thank you Lord for bringing this area to my attention with regards to my husband.

just like the old saying "the wife is the last to know", my h's reputation was shot in his other life (at work) long before i had a clue. at this point about half of the people we know as a family "know" and "everyone" at his old job knows.(he doesn't work there anymore, she does) i don't tell anyone, and i have lost several friends because i simply can't bring myself to tell them and it is too hard for me to pretend that it didn't happen. i pray that healing of all this will occur eventually (#242 on the list of things to be healed)and i try not to focus on it, and i trust the Lord for it. it is my h's battle, not mine. it is difficult to know what to do.<P> but i do know that God can be glorified in my h testimony. so i try and think TESTIMONY instead of REPUTATUION. my husband sinned, but God restored him and is rebuilding him. yes, it was a doozy of a sin, but if God could love him and heal us, what an awesome God we serve.<BR> sometimes i look ahead to that day--and i can't wait, until this is a testimony, a happy ending, an overcomer story!!! look for it! <BR> one more thing, sometimes i worry about God's reputation. it sounds crazy but i was a "fool" for Christ in the eyes of my family: i married a pastor, we planted a church, i stayed home with my kids and "wasted my college education", i homeschooled, i lived for the Lord and all the "going against the world" --doing things God's way instead of the "correct" way. anyway look what i got?!! i have been embarrassed as those around me see my h's failure as a reason to say "see, it doesn't work--this christian thing is all hogwash". when the ow's baby was born healthy and i lost my baby, my family said "why would God do that to you?" <P> you know what? I cannot defend the Almighty. i can be honest and say, "i don't know, and it hurts, but i still trust Him." and i pray, and i grieve. and using Job as my example i can moan and say "What i feared has come upon me; what i dreaded has happened to me. i have no peace, no quietness; i have no rest, but only turmoil...........though He slay me, yet will i hope in Him...." job 3:25,13:15<P><BR>Lord, we lay all this at your feet. we trust you to take it all--we cast all our anxieties upon you. redeem us, redeem our husbands, and Lord show your surpassing glory and power, your grace,mercy and patience--show us, our families & our neighbors. i pray that our husbands will persevere and as james said that perseverance will finish its work so they they (and us) will be mature and complete not lacking anything.

neen,<P>I just read your profile for the first time. I am sorry I haven't read it before now for it shows the depth of your hurt. I will pray for you with more wisdom and insight now. Being a Pastor's wife certainly isn't a protection from the pain of an affair. The loss of your child just added to the situation and complicated recovery. I am so sad for your loss and pray God will restore all that this world has taken.<P>Men who have been called to be Shepherds are prime targets for the enemy. We do not uphold our Pastor's in prayer as we should and think they are immune from the fiery darts of Satan, Rather they are in the direct line of fire to put out their testimony and compromise their work in the worst way. Pastor's are mere mortals like all of us and I am convicted of my need to pray for my Pastor's purity more fervently.<P>The other thing I wanted to say is that it seems to me that within the church the sin of adultery has become the "unforgiveable sin". If a person struggles with addictions or crime or whatever people will be sympathetic and discuss it in love and pray. Not so adultery, it is the silent sin and no one will talk about it. Those who suffer from this tragedy usually speak only to a bare few and then in secret asking for prayer. I think that is an abomination! God's people need to open up their eyes and realize we are human and need each other, and realize "but by the grace of God go I"!<P>I am so thankful for this forum for I can speak of the abdominable and everyone understands and doesn't judge and especially will pray. <P>Just some thoughts provoked by your post.<P>Yours in Christ, Taj

This is a tough issue. I told a friend and my sister because I desperately needed someone to talk to. Now I feel they judge him & wonder what they think every time they see him. My friend said, "if you forgive him, I should be able to forgive him but I hate what he did to you." My h said he hasn't told anyone. I have no idea who the OW told. So when we went to company Christmas party I was constantly wondering who was looking at me & knew. But I decided to hold my head high & know I did the right thing by fighting the fight. I can't even imagine what it would be like being a minister's wife in this situation. I wanted to read some of your profiles but can't figure out how. Can someone let me know? Thanks! Blessings to you all, J

NewDay,<P>The profile I was referring to can be view by clicking on the "sunglasses" at the top of each post. Some are not kept updated and are very basic like mine. <P>Taj<BR>

The restoration is so important, in all areas isn't it? The reputation thing is something that I will definatly be praying for as our situation was so disintegrated during the separation, OW would take H around to his friends homes when she was around, so they were seen in public by mutual aquaintences alot.... H is still validating actions in alot of these areas so I cannot do anything but pray..<P>As for going to church with me, I think because he is afraid of the tarnished reputation because they were helping to take care of me and the kids during the separation from the benevolent funds... This just gives him more excuses.... I said that It is to the glory of God that this situation is restored...and if anyone should minister grace and forgiveness it is the church body.... Well, he is so insecure hed be imagining that people were looking at him and thinking bad things...<BR>I guess this may be the reason he is so homebound... doesn't go anywhere much...<P>H really needs prayer here... I think the first step though would be humbleness, H won't admit the wrong, he just validates it..<P>So Pray for me and H in this area!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Cozy,<P>I can't help but think of the Prodigal son in our situations. We need to pray that our H's will see that God welcomes them back into the fold with open arms. He actually runs to the son in the parable, gives him a ring and a robe and gives a big party in celebration that his son who once was off living in sin has returned.<P>I truly believe if our husbands repent and turn from their sin it is the place of the body of Christ(the church) to find a way to receive them back into fellowship.<P>Has your church done that? If not maybe you can encourage them to do so. If they supported you during your separation they want to support your H during recovery. He needs their love just as much as you did.<P>Father, make a way for this man to be received in a very real way back into the fold. Where there is shame and embarrassment let it be replaced with humility and godly sorrow. Restore this Prodigal in Jesus Name I ask it.<p>[This message has been edited by Taj (edited January 12, 2000).]