This chapter hit home for me. Before H and I separated we both had our priorities in the wrong order. My priorities were 1)Children 2) Husband 3) God. Things don't go right when your priorities are not in the right order. During my H's sober years when our son was little, my H's (and God's) priority # was much lower. I put work and my hobbies above him. I see now how much of a mistake that was. My life is more serene now that I have changed my priorities to 1)God 2) Husband 3) Children. <P>I'm trying to do a better job of showing my husband that he is next to God in the priority list in my heart. My H gets up early (4:30 or 5:00 AM), I don't have to get up until 6 in order to make it to work on time. I now get up every morning with my H to have coffee with him and talk a little. It makes my day go better. I also now make an extra effort to hug and kiss him when he comes home each night. <P>On page 128, next to last paragraph Stormie says "seek Him first and He will help you get your priorities in order". My prayer is for the Lord to help me keep my priorities in the proper order, and that He will show my husband what order the priorities of his heart should be in. Thank you Lord for bringing this to my attention and helping me to work on getting this right. <P>POGP - page 130 - now I know where you got your username from, Matthew 13:45,46.

We have the same priority problems which we are trying to resolve. Mine has been (1)kids, (2) husband, (3)God. His has been (1)work, (2)work, (3)work, (4)kids......me. I'm not sure where God & I fall in his list. I hope he is trying to change that. I still feel I take a back seat to work & often wonder if that will ever change. I pray he can learn to put God first then He can help arrange his priorities. I have learned to put God at the top but sometimes still slip. Old habits are hard to break. You are all great encouragers on here & I am blessed to be part of this group. J

AW, yes, that is the scripture, but I started using it to signify a change in our marriage. I started using it the day after my h. said "I remember the night I asked you to marry me, I looked over at you and thought, "Here is a pearl of great price", and you still are. <P>So I started using it to help me remember that he does still value me, despite the ups and downs in our recovery.<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

As I get to the end of this book I see more deep seated problems that I have to work on.. Like most of you my priorities were way off, especially when the babies were under two... with this one its been different since H came home because I have changed my priorities and spent much time in prayer..<P>H has a bigger priority problem... His priorities are " Me..... Self..... I.... God.... more him then kids and I fall in somewhere when H needs me... Well thats him too isn't it...hmmmm definate priority problem!!<P>I want so much to see God as 1 in my H's life for I believe the everything else will fall in line if that happens...<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

I have posted before that my H is very high maintenance. I worked shift work at a hospital during the 11 1/2 years of his affair. That is one of the reasons he could of pulled it off. I was working most of the time and busy with the kids the rest of the time. Sad to say concerning priorities I took my H for granted in many ways.<P>The OW fed right into that and of course made him her #1 priority. I am aware that my insensitivity to his needs enabled her to trap and contain my man.<P>Then upon discovery I over-reacted and put my H first! I quit my job and my entire world revolved around him! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! <P>God alone is to be first in my life. Putting my H first only made matters worse. I was trapped now in being the perfect, dutiful wife! No one can be the "be all and end all" in a relationship.<P>Thank you Father for showing me how out of whack my priorities were. Help me always to put nothing, even my H or family before you. You have been so merciful to me and revealed your truth so faithfully. I will be forever grateful. IJN