Liz,<BR>You're right! It was actually like a lightbulb came on. Almost an overnight thing. I think it had something to do with how I was praying. I had been praying for my marriage and my husband. I left me out of the picture most of the time. After reading the info here, I changed that. I haven't gotten the book yet, money problems, but there is alot here already that opened my eyes. And it's amazing how much it has helped me deal with my husband. I am so much more calm. I don't overreact to his anger, I don't let my emotions get out of control when I talk to him (I save that for when I'm not around him), and I basically feel more peaceful. I have a strong feeling that H will come home. For some reason I think next month. Maybe I'm just setting myself up for disappointment but it's just so strong that it's hard to ignore. It's hard to explain. I see no signs from him, except that he's only taken half of his clothes and his tools for work. Nothing else. And when I ask him about getting the rest, he keeps putting it off until "next weekend". Like he's not sure if he wants to be gone permanently or not. That to me is a good sign. What do you guys think?

Mitzi,<BR> Yes it sounds like a good sign. However, in the past I have gotten so caught up in the "signs" that I didn't seek God for God. God doesn't want us to seek signs, he wants us to seek Him the person. That is why Jesus didn't often perform miracles. He wanted us to look to Him not the signs for the answers. I agree with POGP from the Connie Neal book. We have to take care of our own spiritual gardens. We have to make sure that we are in right relationship with Jesus before He can add the rest. "Seek me first and all else will be added." Luke 12:31 "You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 19:13-14 I do believe that we in a way are in captivity. But he promises to bring us back. The more known verse before this is "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:11-12<BR>Mitzi God is sovereign. He is still in this. The battle is His. He calls us to seek Him! I know I have written this for you as much as God is using it at this moment to speak also to my heart.<P>Dear Father God, You are sovereign and your hand is upon all these marriages. Lord, you are mighty to save and you are more powerful then we realize. Lord, we all have suggestions as to how you should resolve our troubles. But right now father I release these to you and I ask that you work in ways that we can't imagine to restore these marriages and to call the husbands and wives to seek you with all their hearts. Jesus we fall at your feet and wait for the answers to our prayers. You will answer and it will be for our good. Please lift Mitzi up to you and gather her to You. Help her unbelief and let her feel your peace at this moment. I pray this for God's glory and in His will. Amen.

Hw, wonderful prayer! I really needed to hear those words today. It's been a tough morning today. Praise God for sending those words to you to share with us today. Mitzi, if you haven't been able to buy the book yet, and would still like it, please send me your address and I'll have one sent to you. You can email your address to me at jlsr100199@yahoo.com. The book is such a wonderful help, and will be a blessing to you. I would never have made it without this book to guide me.

What changed this weekend? ME... I had to really look at things and realize that I would be doing all the same things to bring in funds if H wasn't here, only I'd have to hire someone to stay home and care for the kids/pets/house...<P>I need to dwell on what I am getting and not what I want... A hard task!!! Thank you for your prayers... POGP as to your post, I'll agree that things are the way that you assessed, but there is a reason... I have always been super responsible, and H was in a state of almost agaraphobia when we first got married because of panic/anxiety attacks, so this is a circumstance derived from a living habit that God needs to interveen in.... I allowed it to be at first because of the problems, h is better now and we have to break this bad pattern.. Pray for this with me... H did fill out a resume'/app this weekend for a good job that would be perfect for him... Pray Pray Pray!!!<P>I will need prayers while Im working Jan 24th to Feb 25th... I will need much energy and stamina during this time... H will need prayer also, as he will be taking over the house and kids, and has never even been on his own before.... this will be a shock to him I'm sure... I may have the easier job! Also pray that H will keep the contact severed with OW during this time... I must release my anxiety about this issue to the Lord and leave it with Him!!!<P>These are the updates... Im in a better frame of mind, Thank you for the prayers..<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

hw,<BR>I hope I didn't come off like I'm waiting for God to perform a miracle for me. I didn't mean that at all. I think the reason I'm being so confident now is because I now take the time to see the little blessings that I have everyday, and they seem so much greater now. Before I didn't notice alot of the small stuff. I have 3 healthy and wonderful sons, both parents still with me, my grandmother almost died 3 times this spring and is still with us (Praise God!) I still have a wonderful and supportive relationship with my MIL and FIL, I have 2 sisters and a brother who are supoortive, a home and money enough to pay the bills. What more could I ask for? I now take the time to see what God has given to me. I no longer feel like he has taken something from me. And it's all thanks to everyone here!! <BR>Bless you all from the bottom of my heart!!

Mitzi,<BR>Not at all. As I said it was just as much for me. I often catch myself saying give me a sigh. But then God gently reminds me, "I.ve given you ME my child. Let that be enough." It is very hard to get there some days. <BR>Taj, I hope the week goes better for you. I pray that God will cast His light into your husband's heart and he will come to God and respond to you according to the will of Goid. I pray Taj that you will be lifted up and will have a lightness in your step and a song to Jesus in your heart. Praise the Lord!<P>We could become our own prayer group. I am so convicted that this is what we need to be doing; praying for ourselves to come closer to God; praying for our husbands that God will draw them to Him; and praying for each other.

Another update...<P>My H worked this week some and came home and handed me the check! This is a major breakthrough!!!!!! I also found out that the uncomfortable atmosphere this last week was due to the fact that OW/OC was supposed to be down on Sunday at greatgrams...<P>OW didn't show that I know of though.. PHEWW I surely don't want to go through this mess every time H thinks that OW/OC will be around for a weekend visit, its too tough on my fragil emotions and the trust that I'm trying so hard to give even though I don't feel it... Need lots of prayers during the days leading to weekends and weekends around here that H feels safe talking to me about ALL things so that I don't have to wonder as I do this too often :P <P>Isn't there a scripture about not lettings our imaginings get the better of us???<P><P>------------------<BR>Jesus is the only answer!<BR>His blessings, Cozy

Cozy,<P>Not sure if this is the scripture you were thinking of:<P>"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations(imaginings) and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." II Corinthians 10:3-5<P>If that isn't it it still fits the situation. I know I imagine alot of things which never come to pass and in the process bring on alot of unnecessary worry.<P>Blessings, Taj<P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18