… I don’t know how to keep it up, I am slipping in my hope and positive thingkig. I feel like I am loosing my mind I have the doc up my meds once and I need to do it again, I don’t know what else he wants from me, I have tried to bite my tongue and try not to change his mind for him, he says he listens to every word I say and write and he takes them to heart, but if he did he would see, that I am serous when I say it would never happen again, he tells me “not unless you thought you could get away with it” I did get away with it…until I told him myself. It is not that I had to tell him I wanted to tell him I wanted to be honest with him about every thing, and I did. But I just don’t see his point of view. He said he wishes and wants us to start over again. Then why doesn’t he let us? I don’t know if it is a man thing but crap, why don’t he just say what he wants and then just take it? He tells me he wants me to let him know how the kids are doing. So I do it and he yells at me and tells me I am telling him how sick or how much we all need him, just to hurt him and then hangs up the phone, then he wont pick up, so I tried to call him at work to explain that I was taking him up on his offer (“if you ever need to just talk to someone call me I am here”) and he hangs up on me again.<BR>I know even though it has been six years he still has a lot of anger and hurt. But how long am I to be punished. He says that not what he is doing but it sure feels hat way.<BR>One more thing. I know a lot of people have been hurt by someone who has done what I did. I can only imagine what being betrayed by someone you love dose, but any advise from both sides I would be grateful for.<BR>Lesa<BR>I also posted this on the infidelity <BR>BB if any of you have seen it before<P><BR>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com <p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited January 17, 2000).]

LMS,<P>I guess I am not one to give much in the way of advice. It sounds like you are really hurting and your H as well. Anger is the epitome of feeling hurt especially for a man. It seems they want to always be in control and when they aren't they lash out.<P>We are a group of women who are trying to have an impact on our relationships and family through prayer. We ask you to join us and welcome you wherever you are in your quest for a godly marriage. The book is "The Power of a Praying Wife" and I warn you the first thing that seems to change upon reading this book is ourselves.<P>We will pray for you and we ask that you would pray for us. We don't have the answers but we know God does. He has shown us His power on this forum in many ways.<P>Lord, enter into this situation, it has gone on so long and this woman is becoming weary. Give strength to endure and begin a work of restoration that only you can do. Open the eyes of her husband to see her desire for their marriage to be restored. Where there is anger Lord soften hearts and give your grace to see we are all in need of forgiveness. Heal the wounds that time seems to me magnifying. Allow there to be mercy rather then wrath and forgiveness rather then bitterness. In Jesus Name I Pray.<P>Blessings, Taj<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Perfect love casts out fear" I John 4:18

Taj, Thank you for the prayer, I have been here a lot and even posted a few times I do pray for everyone on this BB every night before I try to sleep. once again thank you<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com

Dear Lord, I lift this woman LMS up to you right now, and ask that you give her peace in her heart and strength to get through this trying time. I also lift her husband up to you and ask that he be given a forgiving heart. Please soften his heart towards his wife, Lord. She knows she can't fix her marriage but has faith that you can, and will. Lord please speak to her husband's heart, asking him to forgive his wife and work on their marriage. Let the hurt he feels subside so that he may feel the love for his wife that is surely still there. Thank you Lord for working in this couple's lives. In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN.